"I have a purpose," Castiel said softly, still as before. "I will fight. Without that what else can any of us have?" No one was waiting to give him a place. He had to find it. He knew that. He had no idea how to find one beyond it. All he felt was outside every family he looked at, including the one that meant the most to him.
"What would you have if he hadn't come to give you purpose? If he hadn't brought you family?" He felt heavy and tired, his chest a ball, drawing into his core. He hated anyone questioning his will to fight. He had made it his centre. He couldn't relinquish that too.
"I feel on my own," he said softly. Maybe it sounded ungrateful, maybe it was inaccurate but Ruby had asked for honesty and he felt something even stranger. That only she came close to understanding he needed something more than good wishes.