InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Beware the ides of March!"

John Watson internationally smuggles tea (imhisblogger) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2012-10-22 12:13:00

Entry tags:

john watson, martha jones

Who:John Watson and Martha Jones
What:John goes to see a doctor.
When:Tonight-late shift
Where:Complex medbay
Warnings:TBA

John was actually a little nervous. The last time he'd gone to see a doctor, things hadn't ended so well for him. Of course that doctor was also a therapist. Paid by the session. Probably over worked and under paid, but that didn't excuse the fact that she'd sold him out to Sherlock's brother Mycroft. Rolled over for a paycheck, or possibly a prime spot in the British government. Mycroft ran the government, he could do things like that. John had to remind himself that there was no Mycroft Holmes here. Nobody was playing Martha Jones like a puppet as far as he was aware. Except maybe Rose, but if she interfered it was because she cared wasn't it? John wasn't sure what she felt anymore. She'd gone off to London with that Doctor and pointedly didn't tell him. The Doctor himself had invited John along, but he didn't feel comfortable accepting it if Rose hadn't asked him. What even was going on anymore?

He wasn't sure he wanted to find out. He'd already been through enough pain lately. Was more really worth it? It was Rose, he fancied her but if this bloke was an exact replica of her Ten then who was he to stand in the way of that? If he tried to keep her she would just become resentful anyways. He ran a hand through sandy blond hair as he nudged open the door to the medbay and stepped inside. His eyes darted around, searching for the interns milling about or traces of other doctors. He didn't see anyone. "Dr. Jones?" He said as he rubbed his neck awkwardly. The medbay made him uncomfortable anymore, but he needed to see someone. He knew that.

Even if she didn't give him the prescription he required he had to see her before he lost his mind all together. Sherlock had helped his limp so at the very least he didn't limp into the medbay. Much to his dismay the new Holmes was able to help him too. He wasn't sure what to make of that. Maybe he was thinking too hard on it and ought to just enjoy it as he'd been told. He honestly didn't know. Everything felt so confusing he was just close to shutting down again. A life without emotion had to be better then being torn to shreds by it. Luke had told him the risks and at this point he was considering them.

(Post a new comment)

drjones_unit
2012-10-23 06:05 pm UTC (link)

Martha had spent some time reviewing John's medical notes ever since receiving the request, and the doctor was not a happy camper. The medications he was already on, combined with the amount of drinking he seemed to be doing, just by the messages she could see on the boards, could have terrible consequences.

But he had been through a lot. And she was determined to be as gentle as she could be.

That was a very general definition though. Martha Jones, while a compassionate woman, was not a coddling type of doctor. She was blunt and to the point, and did not let her patients get away with much. She was a soldier. For better or worse, that was what the Doctor had made her into, and she had spent her professional career with the most specialized branch of the military. What John would get from her was the truth, as harsh as that might be.

Still, she looked up and smiled as he came in, noting the lack of a limp with an inner approval. At least that was gone, for now.

"John," she stood from her desk, holding out her hand. This time, she didn't correct him with her name. While she was happy to be addressed as 'Martha' any other time, right now she was his doctor and he was her patient and thus they needed to be professional. "Come in, sit down."

Sharp dark eyes took in his every movement, every little twitch and expression his face might give away, missing nothing. "Why don't we start by you telling me more about your medical history? I've read the file, but I'd like to hear it from you."

(Reply to this) (Thread)

imhisblogger
2012-10-23 08:10 pm UTC (link)

The records he had in this world weren't even mostly complete. John had been to doctors ever since his return from the war. Which had been a bit of a disaster as far as tours went but he hoped he didn't have to go into that. Martha had said she wasn't a therapist, so he didn't want to start off on a bad note. He'd already made things awkward with Anatoly and honestly had no idea how to make it right. If he screwed up with Martha he was on his own, and so far on his own hadn't done him much good at all.

He sat where she'd invited him to with a nod and rested his hands in his lap. The expression in his eyes was still sad even when he smiled, Sherlock's second death had taken it's toll on him. He was a bit stiff as he sat down but his face didn't change much in reaction to it. It was mostly a mental thing, psychosomatic as his original doctor had called it.

His grey blue eyes were more tired and worn then they had been in the past. His eyes shifted toward the place he'd last seen the body of his friend and then back to Martha warily. "Not sure where to start really." Every doctor worked differently, so he gave her a basic run down of the medical things he'd been through during the war including having been shot in the shoulder. The bullet had grazed the subclavian artery and should have been life ending, but he was rescued by his orderly and another doctor. Then he was removed from the war.

"After that I was referred to a therapist, but I'm not sure she actually wanted to help me. Really that's the reason I'm here, I'd like your opinion. I've already been talking to someone to help on the emotional side, but still sometimes I can't even think straight." He paused and frowned. "I can barely get sleep anymore. I can't do this much longer." He tried to keep the emotional side of things to the minimum the best he could, but he felt if she had some of his history aside from just what prescriptions he'd been on it might help in the diagnosis.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

drjones_unit
2012-10-23 10:30 pm UTC (link)

Martha listened quietly, letting John get the history out there without interruptions, her expression calm and neutral. Most of it coincided with what she had already read and been told. When he finished, she took a breath, considering everything carefully.

"Well," she started, looking thoughtful. "What concerns me is that you're coming to me for more medications when what I suspect might help you more is to come off the ones you're currently on and perhaps try something a little less drastic." There was a pause as she tried to read what his reaction was to that.

"Insomnia is one of the most common side effects of just about every medication there is for treating PTSD, and those medications can also be one of the biggest causes of tremors. It can become a very dangerous combination, to take medication to handle one problem and then a whole host of other ones to try to counter the side effects from the first one. That, combined with your alcohol intake, and yes, I know how much you've been drinking just by looking back on the message boards, can cause some serious damage to your liver." She nailed him with a look, the kind of look that said not to try to bullshit her, because she had heard it all before, from all kinds of patients, ranging from Friday night London A&E patients to veteran soldiers who battled alien invasions.

"You've been through a lot, John, and believe me, I understand it, but chemically suppressing emotions is a truly terrible idea in the long run." That way led to an inability to focus thoughts, chronic insomnia and permanent damage.

Martha sighed slightly and sat back in her chair. "Obviously, coming off these types of medication too abruptly can be very dangerous, so before changing anything to your prescription, I'm going to need to take a blood sample, run a liver function test and do a full blood count. Then, once we know what sort of state your internal organs are in, we can think about adjusting the meds. What do you think?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

imhisblogger
2012-10-26 09:45 pm UTC (link)

Finally it was his turn to listen to what she had to say, so he sat back into the chair and watched. He watched her face and tried to figure out what she was thinking, but unlike Sherlock he didn't have that sort of observational skill. He couldn't figure out who someone was just by looking at their face or their hands and spotting the smallest details. So he let her do her job. He'd sought her out. He needed another opinion, lately his brain felt like it had been through a blender.

"I'm open to changing medications entirely if there's something else you suggest." And he was. He wasn't as far as he was aware addicted to his current medicine. A little wary of stopping all together though.

John met her eyes guilty. "I've nearly stopped drinking now. Almost lost everything because of it." He admitted quietly. "Getting detained by Olympic security was not the highlight of my life." He rubbed his neck and gave her a sheepish look. He'd very nearly killed himself twice during that phase. The last thing Sherlock would have wanted was for him to be dead too. John knew that now, but every now and then those thoughts still crept back. When he thought he saw Sherlock in the street, or in his apartment if he looked hard enough.

"Luke has been trying to help me too, but it's like there's a wall there. No matter how hard I try I can't get past it. I want to be able to feel like me again. I don't know if this will fix everything, but if there's even a chance shouldn't I try?" The sadness in his eyes was intense, he dropped his gaze from hers and nodded.

"I can agree to that." He gave her a forced smile.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

drjones_unit
2012-11-05 11:09 pm UTC (link)

At least he was being honest with her, at least Martha hoped so. He'd admitted the drinking, and added he was cutting down, so that was a start at least. And until she saw otherwise, Martha was going to take his word for that. She tried to trust her patients anyway.

And she was sympathetic as she looked at him. "Honestly? The medication you're on could be part of the reason you're having so much trouble pushing through that wall. The wall needs cognitive therapy to be able to move on, chemically adjusting your brain is more likely to make the wall fuzzier." She hoped the wall analogy was still making sense. She had heard such comments from soldiers with PTSD at UNIT, men who had seen their friends exterminated, slaughtered.

"Medication is supposed to be an aid to the therapy, not the only crutch you lean on. Otherwise feeling like yourself again isn't going to really happen. It's a temporary aid, not a permanent fix." She just didn't know what sort of counseling services there were in Kansas. "What sort of work has Luke been doing with you?"

Still, Martha nodded and smiled slightly, reaching over for her equipment. "Okay, sleeve up, I'm going to take your blood pressure and a blood sample. Do you have an issue with needles I should know about?"

[ooc: sorry for the delay, I had wicked flu after LARP!]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

imhisblogger
2012-11-19 08:31 am UTC (link)

John winced vaguely. He should have known that answer was coming. Still he couldn't fault her. She wasn't wrong. It felt like sometimes there was a wall there tht he just couldn't get past and he was worried about it. Jacen told him he needed to move on, but John felt helpless at doing so, lost even at times. He ran a hand thorugh his sandy blon hair and nodded. "Mostly talking. It's almost like therapy. It's difficult taking to anyone, but I don't worry about it so much with him."

He should have been able to move past his grief, he knew it effected his friends so he tried not to talk about it so much with them anymore. But Luke didn't mind. Was even inviting him to try to understand why it hurt so much. Sherlock had been his best friend, but their bond was unique. John would have taken a bullet for that man if it meant saving his life, and Luke was trying to take him past that.

"He see's things differently, I think it's because of his training. But most things just make more sense. He's been telling me I need to try to remember who I am beyond Sherlock. I just..don't." John had been through so much it had just broken his heart and it was hard to look past the pain it'd caused anymore.

"No, no issue." He undid the button at his wrist and pulled up his sleeve so she could work. "I'm trying but..you're right. It's like a wall."

[ooc: Sorry for the delay on my end. New job decided to kill me on hours and exhaustion <3]

(Reply to this) (Parent)