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Emma Swan finally found her fairytale ([info]lostfairytale) wrote in [info]wariscoming,
@ 2012-09-30 08:47:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:emma swan, sheriff graham/huntsman

Who: Graham and Emma
What: Feels? Surprises? ALL THE THINGS!
When: Backdated to shortly after Graham's arrival
Where: Complex, Roadhouse
Warnings: Probably language and a healthy dose of angst



This was probably not her smartest idea.

But she couldn't abandon him. Emma owed Graham her life. Honestly, she owed him so much more. If she'd believed him, if she'd listened when he'd come to her, completely miserable, maybe she could have saved him. Maybe she could have stopped Regina sooner.

Oh, the Graham-ghost had told her she wasn't to blame, and she'd wanted to believe him. But this wasn't a ghost. This was the real thing, not some manifestation of her own, tortured conscience. This was her Graham, who Mary Margaret had rightfully accused her of putting her walls up against. Didn't she always? Of course she did. And why shouldn't she? What had taking down those walls ever done for her? Nothing good.

And now there was Henry to consider. And the baby. God, the baby. She should have warned him. At nearly six months, it was almost impossible to hide it, so she didn't. If people saw her, let them judge her. She didn't talk to everyone, but she did pay attention, and there were few around that city who were faultless. However, Graham would be expecting the woman he'd just died with. And she? Had changed. Considerably.

She got out of the car in front of the Complex and stood beside it, waiting. He couldn't hate her, could he? Well. Maybe. It didn't sound like he did. But there was a lot he didn't know yet. Most of it which she'd tell him. She was honest about most things if asked. But not all. Never all.


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[info]gaveuphisheart
2012-09-30 02:52 pm UTC (link)
She was pregnant and that meant there was a man in the picture in order for her to get pregnant and that meant he would not be kissing her again. Not that he didn't want to, he still did. She was still beautiful and still Emma and the closest he'd ever come to feeling something. But presumably, she wouldn't want him to. And he would respect that.

So Graham did give her another smile, his gaze warm as he looked at her. "Seems I've got a lot to hear about."

And he had to laugh as he looked at the car, that yellow Beatle that was just so Emma. "Well of course, the old girl has some good taste in guys." Opening the door he slid in before he glanced up at Emma with a smirk and a quirked eyebrow. "Did you really just say mocktails? I didn't think anyone actually said that outside of magazines and chick flicks." Not that he'd ever seen an actual chick flick, but apparently that was what happened.

"Clearly I am needed here, to save you from talking about mocktails and to save your car from being lonely. And possibly to save Ruby from getting into trouble, just for good measure." Hey, he could be charming when he wanted to be, even if he wasn't the prince of that particular virtue. "So how far is it to the bar? And," he paused with a wince. "Any chance I can owe you for this round? I'll pay you back when I find some way of working around here."

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[info]lostfairytale
2012-09-30 06:30 pm UTC (link)
She could have immediately changed his thinking of a man being in the picture.  But that would mean assuming he wanted to pick up where they'd left off.  Flirting and kissing and...whatever it was they'd been becoming.  Maybe he wouldn't.  Especially not with her slowly becoming the size of a small house.  With another man's baby.  And not just any man, but that particular one.  Even if he wasn't a reader, just mentioning the name around Lawrence was enough to get him the biography of one Jim Moriarty.  And really, knowing her history, that would be enough to push away any man. 

Shaking her head in an effort to clear it, Emma rolled her eyes at his comment and got in the driver's side.  "You hang around a bar long enough, you pick up words like mocktails.  And learn 100 different brands of vodka.  The owner is one of my close friends.  She's amazing.  Henry and I actually lived there with her for a while."

That had been right after Jim's death.  She hadn't been ready to face the world on her own yet.  Not after everything she'd just dealt with.  And living behind a bar was, honestly, still the better choice, when compared to living in her killer boyfriend's mansion.  

Then Zee had stepped up and been incredible.  Proof that there was hope for Emma yet.  "Jo doesn't charge us," she offered, pulling on to the street.  "The displaced, the people who arrive here from other worlds.  Her little gift for our lives being turned upside down.  But..." she hesitated.  She didn't want him to feel like her charity case.  She knew what that was like herself.  And yet, she wouldn't deny him anything.  "If you need anything else before you get settled, just ask, ok?  The rent is free, that's going to help at least."

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[info]gaveuphisheart
2012-09-30 06:51 pm UTC (link)
If only Graham had known any of what Emma was thinking. The fact that she was pregnant with another man's child wasn't something that would push Graham away. His own insecurities, the feeling that he wasn't worthy of being with someone like her, and his own exceptionally complicated lack of true emotion, those were the things that made him keep people at arms' length. Most people. Until Emma had literally crashed into his life and turned it all upside down. In a very good way.

"There's different brands of vodka?" Was his returning question as he smirked. "Next you're going to tell me there's drinks other than beer and whiskey and my entire head will explode from it all." Hey, he was a man of simple tastes after all. "Well, any one who has been there for you and Henry must be a good person, even if mocktails are involved."

He glanced out of the window of the car as it began to move, still taking in this new town, that was quite unlike any place he'd been before. Storybrooke and the fairytale world. That was it for his traveling experiences. And it allowed him some thinking time. Because the whole issue with money wasn't one he was entirely comfortable with and yet was inescapable. "I'll figure something out. I mean I can either find some kind of police work or hunt in a forest for survival, I have all those skills in my head again now." His tone was light but he was only half joking. The Huntsman had some serious skills in that area, in an emergency.

Still, different topic. Graham shifted his attention back to the woman driving, a small smile on his face. "So, when are you due to have the baby cygnet?" Okay, so as nicknames went, it was terrible, but considering the surprise of it all, baby swan could have been worse.

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[info]lostfairytale
2012-09-30 10:54 pm UTC (link)
"Then I'd best not tell you," Emma confirmed with a laugh.  "I'm not cleaning it up."  How could he kid around about something like that?  With anyone else it would've been a little joke, just something amusing.  But considering what Regina had done to his heart, Emma had no urge to think about him without a brain.  At that rate, they'd find out Regina had actually been the one to take the Tin Man's heart along with the Scarecrow's brain and the Lion's courage.  Typical.  

"I'm amused you even know the word cygnet," she admitted as she pulled into the Roadhouse's parking lot.  "Hell, I wouldn't if it were for...for the name thing."  And desperately trying to find out more about her background growing up.  Of course she hadn't found anything under Swan.  But a little Emma hadn't known that.  Stupid Pinocchio hadn't been around to tell her.  "She's due in January.  And yeah, it's a girl.  No, I haven't named her yet."

She nodded for him to follow as she led the way to her favorite booth, nodding at familiar faces as she did. She'd check in on Jo, Chuck, and the girls later.  Right now, she needed time with Graham.  Her friend would understand.  "If you want to go back into police work, you can.  There are people here who can set that up.  Connor Temple...he's the one who got Henry into school.  Or maybe Claudia Donovan, I hear she's a pretty expert hacker, too."  She paused, then glanced at him with a soft smile.  "What are you drinking?  I'll grab it."

She rather liked the idea of him on the police force more than him as a hunter.  In the woods.  That...would take getting used to.  Which reminded her...  "Hey, you and Ruby...  You're not like...a thing, are you?  I mean...wolves.  Guess I've kinda been wondering."

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[info]gaveuphisheart
2012-10-01 09:27 am UTC (link)
"Oh I see how it is, you're just feeling lazy, avoiding cleaning." Kidding around was just easier than thinking too much about the two lives in his head. Because despite his new knowledge about what had happened to him, the idea of magic was still slightly weird. That and it felt natural to banter with Emma. He could just relax and be himself, whatever crazy mess that actually was.

"I have a surprising amount of knowledge about many things," Graham paused and actually thought about it for a moment. "Actually that one might come from the Huntsman part. Animal knowledge and all that. Maybe. Or maybe I read it somewhere." Or both. Both was also possible. Shaking his head slightly, he focused on the more important part, glancing at Emma with a smile. "She's going to be a lucky girl, you as a mom, Henry for a brother. I'm glad for you." If maybe a bit jealous for himself. Not that he had the right to be, if she was settled with someone else and happy then it was a good thing for her. And after his 'affair' with Regina, it wasn't as though he had any ground to complain.

He followed her to the booth, offering an awkward half smile to anyone who gave him a curious look, those who clearly knew who Emma was and wondering who this strange guy with her was. "Not going to pretend I understand anything about hackers or computers, but hey, if someone could get me a police job about here, that would be good. It's what I know, it's money." And yeah, probably better than being a hunter in the woods. "Beer, thanks. I could use one."

Her question made him cough though, as he tried to catch his breath in surprise. "Me and Ruby? No, really." He paused, wondering how she had even come to that idea, before realizing that okay, yeah, it did make some kind of sense he supposed. But still. "I care about her. Well, as much as I, you know." Awkwardly he gestured at his chest with a vague wave of his hand, the lack of heart still an issue. "And I've always been protective of her. But it's never been anything romantic with us." Ruby was a flirt, and on occasion Graham had even flirted a bit back, but in a harmless banter sort of way. He was more worried about keeping her safe from any guy who looked at her the wrong way.

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[info]lostfairytale
2012-10-01 10:32 pm UTC (link)
"For the record, Cygnet Swan is a terrible name. Ridiculously redundant." She'd only just started thinking of names. Names made it real and, until the last few weeks, she wasn't quite ready for that little girl to be real. All she knew were two things: she wouldn't be named after a Disney princess, and she would carry Emma's name. She gave a little grin and got up, letting the warmth of his compliments sink in. She didn't want that. Not those feelings, not that familiar rolling deep in her stomach. She wasn't allowed that anymore. And least of all not with a man as pure and as good as the Huntsman. Oh, Graham had made his mistakes. But the fairytale man was practically innocence personified. He deserved better than a woman like Emma Swan.

And yet, as she got up to get their drinks, she couldn't help smiling as she watched him. He seemed somewhere between uncomfortable and at ease with everything. She supposed, given what he'd just dealt with in Storybrooke, that this couldn't possibly be that strange for him. And he had some familiar faces, at least. Including hers. Would that be good or bad? Well. She'd find out sooner or later.

She returned to the table with a cold beer and a diet soda. Mocktails be damned. Sliding the drink across to him, she studied him. He looked almost exactly as he had at his death. That was both disconcerting and comforting at the same time. As, awkwardly enough, many of the things in Emma's life were.

"I just asked because... I don't know. She's a wolf, you hung out with wolves. Were raised by... However that worked, actually." Her voice was low. It was one of the reasons that booth was her favorite. Fewer people to overhear ridiculous stories from Lawrence. "And who says I meant romantically? Maybe I meant she was your lost daughter or an old friend or...something." And her smile was teasing. As much as Emma ever teased. She had her heart and still had issues with emotions. Which he, of all people, should know. His little gesture wasn't lost on her. She had to make him realize that he could still feel, with or without Regina's issues.

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[info]gaveuphisheart
2012-10-01 11:17 pm UTC (link)
He waited while she got the drinks before saying anything else. And took the chance to watch her. Watch that smile on her face, the one that had drawn him in to start with and the way she commanded any space she was in. Sure, there was always an element like she wanted to bolt, and he supposed he could understand why. But that didn't stop her from drawing the attention of people around just by her presence.

And when she came back, he smirked at her and continued the conversation. "Okay, so maybe Cygnet Swan is a redundant actual name, but it works as a nickname. Just saying. And thanks." That last part involved him lifting up the beer with a small 'cheers' gesture. And the beer tasted amazing. Okay, it was just a beer, cold and refreshing, like so many beers before it, but after what had happened in Storybrooke, it tasted like the greatest beer that ever existed.

Graham laughed and awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck. "She is an old friend. Not my long lost daughter, I'm pretty damn confident of that one." And that was a weird as hell thought. "But yeah, I knew her there as well as Storybrooke. There's a few like her out there and I never had any problems with them." He shrugged casually, as if everyone had wolves as friends. "I think my pack made them see I wasn't a threat or something. And Ruby, yeah, I saw her a few times in the woods. Helped her when I could." His smile became affectionate at the memory. Ruby wasn't a long lost daughter, but he did almost see her as some kind of little sister. That same protectiveness was there. "And in Storybrooke, I just felt I should look out for her. Got her home when she was drunk sometimes, warned guys not to mess with her. Actually told Whale to leave her the hell alone once." Now that was one guy that definitely made him uneasy. He smirked at the memory of warning him to stay away from Ruby, almost growling at the doctor.

"So," he focused on Emma again, his gaze full of genuine concern. "How are you handling it all? Being Snow White and Prince Charming's kid and all that? It's a lot to take in."

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[info]lostfairytale
2012-10-02 02:38 am UTC (link)
She would not even be nicknaming her baby something so silly. But, honestly, being silly? Was so different from the usual for her that it felt..good. Really good. It was new and a little strange but she was enjoying it. Things were...good. And that was scary. Good almost always led to bad in her world. She could hear Belle's words in her head, see the smile Graham was giving her, and knew she could be in trouble. Something she really didn't need after all.

Still, she tilted her soda at him in a similar manner and took a much smaller sip. She needed to deal with this. Properly. Not in her usual 'I'm a screw up, don't feel anything because it's hard' way, either. He was here, for better or for worse, and she needed to deal with that. Maybe even enjoy it. If nothing else happened, they'd been friends before. They could've been close friends, if given the chance. Now she had to fight for it.

"Whale needed to leave a lot of people alone," Emma admitted bitterly. Like her mother for instance. Of course, they hadn't known that at the time. But it worked in her head. Besides, it was still her best friend. One of the few people in the world she was close to. Of course she'd be protective. "Ruby's a sweet girl. She just wants more from life. If she thinks she can get it from some idiot... Well, I hope Red will be different, is all." She thought she was, from what she'd seen.

And then his questions got more serious. Damn him. She could be honest with him. Deep down she knew this.

Didn't make it any easier.

"It's...tough. I haven't broken the curse yet in my time. What I know of our lives beyond...well, losing you? I learned from television. But my heritage played a pretty big part in my life here and...part of it sucked. So I'm torn. I'm happy to have Mary Margaret in my life and all...but it's weird." In her heart, she knew why her parents had given her up. But she hadn't had the best life, after all, a crap one, really. Weighing her options, the options of a newborn baby, was hard to do.

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[info]gaveuphisheart
2012-10-02 11:00 pm UTC (link)
Silliness was something he needed right then too. The last few days had been hard, insanely so. Getting the flashes of memories, not understanding what any of them meant and then the disaster of an affair with Regina. And then dying. To be able to sit with a beer and joke about cygnets with the person who made him smile so much, it was as close to perfect as he could imagine. Graham didn't know who the guy was who had made Emma pregnant, he just hoped so much that there wouldn't be some crazy jealousy issues stopping them from having a friendship again. Emma and Ruby and Henry were people he vitally needed in his life if he was going to rebuild it into something good.

"Whale was," he frowned slightly, trying to find the words. "There was just always something about him that made me uneasy. Great doctor, but the way he was around women was just... yeah." His brow furrowed with confusion. "And I don't think I can figure out who else he was. Which is weird. Even if I didn't meet most of them, I heard of them. Not him though." Who the hell was Whale? Something he doubted he'd ever figure out.

"One thing Ruby and Red have in common is wanting something more. But while Ruby's been stuck in Storybrooke forever, Red was freer." He half smiled as he thought of the times he met the wolf girl over the years, seeing her adapt to her wilder side.

Television. It was such a weird thought. That they were fictional, that there were other versions of themselves. But that wasn't the point right then, Emma was. Graham looked at her, sincerity in his eyes. "Of course it's going to be weird. Even before you add in all the sides of Mary Margaret being the same age as you, and then Snow White as well. Anyone who doesn't find it tough is probably some kind of psychopath." He had never known why his parents had abandoned him to the wolves. Sometimes wondered why, if there were good reasons, if they were alive. Probably all the kinds of questions Emma had asked herself over the years, and probably Henry too. "Sometimes knowing the answers doesn't make all the questions go away."

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[info]lostfairytale
2012-10-02 11:29 pm UTC (link)
Emma knew about life being hard. Graham couldn't know just how those jealousy issues would work. When the ghosts had appeared, she'd not only been grateful to see his face again, but to see his rather than Jim's. As far as she could tell, all the ghosts had come from the same world as the person being haunted. And that was fine with her. She could deal with Graham. She couldn't handle Jim. Not then. Not yet. And if it meant being held by the man in front of her, even if it was his ghost... Well. Not something she was upset over, really.

"If Henry knows who Whale is, he's not telling me," Emma admitted. Her nose wrinkled in thought and she considered carefully. "I've run through all the tales I know. I'm not a huge fairytale fan... Kind of hard to believe in happily ever after when your childhood is hell, but... I can't place him."

She hadn't meant to say all that. He didn't need her unloading all of that on him. Not now, especially, when all of Lawrence was brand new to him. He knew the Complex, the inside of her Beatle, and now the Roadhouse. It would take time to break him in and yet, out of the blue...

Fighting back a groan, she glanced away from him and down at the table before she kept talking. "I like Ruby. She's been really good to me since she's been here. And back home..." She gave a little shrug. "One of the few people to be nice to me no matter what. She did the same thing with Snow. Back in her world." Because Emma never claimed the Fairytale World as her own. Ever. She'd been hours old at best.

That look her gave her...the one he always gave her, like he knew her...that was hard. It'd been hard with a ghost, and it was hard with him now. She didn't deal well with people truly knowing her. The few times she'd allowed it, bad things tended to follow. "Please don't use the word psychopath," Emma found herself muttering, then flushed and spoke normally. "Right. I spent my whole life thinking my parents were a couple of assholes who couldn't even be bothered to leave me in a hospital or a police station and it turns out it's because some magic tree spit me out. You can't blame a girl for being a little weirded out. And then finding out they're two of the most famous characters in literature?" And being pursued for that very reason.

"I... Mary Margaret is still one of the best friends I've ever had. But finding out all of that made things a little harder is all."

He was a good listener. She blamed those eyes. And that smile. God, that smile.

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[info]gaveuphisheart
2012-10-03 07:13 pm UTC (link)
There was just something about Emma that made Graham want to protect her, despite knowing she was more than capable of handling herself. He couldn't figure out why that was, nor did he even really want to know why. He was more than happy to just accept the feeling for what it was, and be there for her in whichever way he could. Even if it was a ghost form he didn't even know about.

"Wonder if it is anything to do with the sea," he half shrugged. "I mean Red became Ruby, Snow White became Mary Margaret Blanchard, Grumpy became the grumpiest man is Storybrooke. Whale probably has some sort of connection to do with the sea. Or medicine. Or something." Regina probably knew. Not that she would ever tell. And besides, that wasn't really the point.

"Fairy tales and happy ever afters can be hard to believe when you're in them," his smile was somewhat sad as he looked at Emma. "Wish I could have made things better for you though. No kid should grow up alone." Ultimately he hadn't. His companions may not have been human, but they had been there and loyal and protected him. It almost hurt him to know that Emma had been alone all those years, because of Regina. Always because of Regina.

He did frown a little at her reaction to the word. "Sorry," he muttered a little, his own voice not much louder than hers had been. "No using that word again." A part of him was desperate to know why, and if it had any connection to the tiredness that seemed to be around her now. A different one to what he had seen in Storybrooke. "You spent your life thinking the most logical explanation, and then you found out that something from a story was what actually happened. If you weren't weirded out by this, I would call you insane." Hell, he was weirded out by it, and it wasn't his life.

"It's natural for this to be hard for you. And natural for you to be angry with her for what she did, even if she had the best intentions in the world and did what she believed was best for you. You can love her and be grateful to her and be angry with her all at the same time." For a man who felt little, he knew about emotions and how complicated they were. Or maybe it was more a familiarity with emotions that didn't quite fit with the world around him. The humans in the fairytale world had never understood his closeness with the wolves or his constant desire to be free, but it was there. And made perfect sense to him. So the idea of feeling emotions that should conflict with each other, all at the same time, made perfect sense to him.

"She's a good person, she'll give you the time to come to terms with this. And you shouldn't feel bad for needing that time."

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[info]lostfairytale
2012-10-06 07:20 pm UTC (link)
If he'd ask, he'd know. Emma wouldn't deny him, of anyone, the truth. Not here where the wrong words in the wrong ears would make him distrust her. He may never want what they'd nearly well had, but she did want his friendship. Desperately. She'd enjoyed it, those moments of banter, of teasing, of putting him in his place and in turn being put in hers. Finding out she was lying, or even just finding out what she'd nearly become, could be enough to shut it all down. In some ways she had become that person. Even just allowing herself to get in as deep as she had. Self-respect, what was that? And as much of an air as she'd put on in front of Graham, the last thing she needed was him finding out how hard she'd fallen...and how far.

"Well this fairytale had enough," she replied bitterly, taking a long drink from her glass and trying not to be angry that it wasn't half filled with rum. "But there was nothing you could have done. Even if you'd known, if you'd remembered, you couldn't have stepped in. You couldn't leave." Not that she didn't appreciate the effort. Even knowing he'd have wanted to helped. "You took care of my mom when she needed you. You even helped my dad out. Without you, I wouldn't even be here. So...you did plenty," she added with a shrug.

She hesitated, considering. How had he gotten so people smart considering he hadn't even been raised by them? Then again, look at Henry. Raised by evil and he was brilliant. Completely brilliant. "I'm not angry with her. Or him. I'm...hurt. A little. I know they were doing the right thing in the end, and the plan was never for me to have to be alone. But as my life typically works, I don't go according to plan." A little smile, tiny but still visible, crossed her face. "Though I'm guessing you've figured that out by now."

Hesitantly, she reached out, lightly touching his hand. "You'll do well here. For a guy who's so out of touch with feelings, you seem to know them pretty well." Then again, he hadn't always been lacking a heart. Until the moment Regina had found him, he'd been quite in touch with his emotions. Maybe that helped.

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[info]gaveuphisheart
2012-10-07 10:31 pm UTC (link)
"Well, it's no wonder, the fairytale has been through more than an entire book collections worth." Literally, really, if you took Henry's book into account. Graham half smiled at the words, even if they didn't quite take away all the guilt. "I still wish I'd done more. I don't know, maybe told Regina where she could shove her queenly mayorship or something." Something he should have a long time ago in Storybrooke. And yet he'd always felt some kind of pull to obey her. Probably because of the heart issue. "Still, one good thing I managed to do in my life was helping your mother escape Regina. I think that almost makes me some kind of dashing hero. Maybe. Small bit." The faint smirk showed just how much he was actually joking about that part.

"You shake up plans and make them turn completely on their heads." Said with no small amount of affection. Since the result had been brilliant. "But at the same time, they didn't exactly think through the plan, then again they didn't exactly have much time to think through the plan in any serious detail." Graham gestured his hands in a weighing up movement. "You feeling hurt is actually a pretty calm reaction, considering the circumstances. Hurts can be healed, in time." And Snow would give Emma the time, she was all patient and good like that.

He glanced down at where her hand was touching his, a small smile appearing, and after a moment he turned his over so his fingers could brush more against hers. "My parents abandoned me in a forest and I asked probably all the same sorts of questions. Did they have a reason, did they just not want me, was there some sort of plan that went wrong. I remember how all that felt. I got lucky, the wolves raised me." Graham's smile became actually fond as he remembered his companions in the forest, especially his guide, his brother and protector, with the black and red eyes. "Wolves are actually far more logical than people, you always know where you stand with them. People are just weird." Understatement.

He hesitated, wondering if he dared ask the question that was on his mind right then, if it would somehow offend her or something. In the end, he took a deep breath and decided to just go for it. "Emma, are you okay? Not just with the whole fairytale, Storybrooke, crazy thing, in general I mean." His dark eyes looked at her, really looked. "Just seems like you've got a lot on your mind."

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[info]lostfairytale
2012-10-07 11:07 pm UTC (link)
Emma's smile was small but sympathetic. "She'd have just killed you sooner if you'd tried to break away. You might never have even met me. Look what your rebellious streak does?" She was trying to sound teasing but it was hard with that lump in the back of her throat. Damn him for that. "The first time you did, you lost a vital organ. Not that I'm complaining. Rather like my mom alive. Especially when it means alive and making me."

The hand on his squeezed gently. His question hurt because she knew she had to answer it. No. She really wasn't okay. Physically, yes, she was fine, even if little Cygnet was far more trouble than Henry had been almost eleven years earlier. But mentally? Emotionally? There was still a lot more healing to be done. She was surrounded by incredible friends who meant everything to her. Who she needed. She had Henry and her baby girl and she'd finally gotten her mother, too. But that didn't make the last nine months of her life go away.

"The wolves...they were compassionate, weren't they? They raised you knowing you were loved, even though they're animals. They cared for you, made sure you ate, didn't they?" Her eyes darkened slightly and her hand slipped away. If it didn't, he'd see how it was shaking in his. "I didn't have that growing up. In some of the homes, I raised myself. I ran away a few times, typically got dragged back. By the time I was pregnant with Henry, I'd already hit rock bottom. I clawed my way back up and swore I'd never let anyone close again."

Sadly, that was the easy part of the story. She hesitated again, pushing her hair back behind her ears before finally looking in his eyes. "The baby... Her father wasn't a good man. In fact, he was the exact opposite. But I let him in anyway because he wanted to protect me. Because he cared for me and I was just so damn tired of living my life alone."

No. She wasn't okay. And she wasn't sure if she ever would be again.

"He's dead now. No matter what I did, I couldn't talk him down from the things he did. I couldn't save him." Just like she couldn't save Graham. And they expected her to save Storybrooke? Oh, she knew it had happened. But what if, by the time the Seal sent her back, she couldn't? What if she'd ruined everything? "So... Yeah. I guess I do have a lot on my mind. I'm raising this baby on my own, knowing what she has the potential to become."

Now he'd down the last of his drink and walk away from her. Because everyone, eventually, walked away.

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[info]gaveuphisheart
2012-10-07 11:26 pm UTC (link)
Well, she did have a point there. And Graham had to nod, ruefully. "True, and next time she could have taken a liver or something and then I wouldn't be able to drink." All jokes aside, and for all the pain losing his heart had caused, he did look at her seriously, albeit with a small smile. "I'd do it all again. Saving your mom, letting you be born, that was worth the price." It would have been worth ten times the price.

More than anything, he wished he could have somehow taken her somewhere she could have been protected, where she could have grown up safe and loved. "Yeah, I was lucky," his voice was quiet because it's true, he had been. The wolves had shown him true compassion, in a way humans never had, until he'd met Snow.

As he listened to her story, his eyes grew darker. The emptiness in his chest seemed to get deeper, his version of rage. Not at Emma, never ever at Emma. But at all the people who had let her down in her life. At the homes who hadn't appreciated her, who had mistreated her. At whoever Henry's father had been to leave her so alone.

And now? Now more than anything at the father of little baby Cygnet, a man who had so clearly hurt the one person who deserved to feel loved.

"Listen to me," he made sure to look her in the eyes, making sure she could see how fiercely genuine he was being. "You are not alone. Not as long as I have anything to say about it. I don't know who he was, but it sounds like it wasn't up to you to save him, he had to save himself and he failed. And now you are going to raise this baby and you are going to be brilliant. Because with a mom like you, how can this kid be anything other than amazing?" He paused for a breath because he had to find a way to make her see. "You hit rock bottom and then you clawed your way back up, that's not something everyone can just do. When Henry came into your life and needed you, you were there for him. You are so strong, Emma Swan. And your daughter is going to grow up to be just like you." Hell, he could see it now, a feisty and compassionate little girl, being just as defiant as her mother.

"And for as long as you'll have me, I'll be here." His tone was simple, so matter of fact. Because it wasn't about him. It wasn't about how she made him feel for the first time, how he still wanted to kiss her. He did. But what mattered more was her needing a friend by her side. "I know I'm no prince, or knight in shining armor, but as long as you need this beat up Huntsman, I'll be here for you, and Henry, and little baby Cygnet."

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[info]lostfairytale
2012-10-08 05:06 am UTC (link)
She didn't deserve a man like this in her life. He deserved better. A woman without an almost sickening past. Without a kid and a baby on the way, from two different fathers, neither of whom she should have been with in the first place. Without all the complications of the two worlds she'd been in and now Lawrence as well. Three worlds and she'd screwed up in every single one. Even in the Fairytale World, she'd messed up, coming too early for Snow to join her in the tree.

The intense way he as looking at her sent a surge through her stomach and up into her chest. The fluttering in her abdomen had little to do with her daughter, who'd started moving more and more. A part of her just wanted to surrender to her feelings, to lean over the table and kiss him firmly and tell him that a beat up Huntsman was exactly what she wanted.

But she was emotionally compromised. And Emma knew she wasn't in any position to be making decisions then. The conversation was serious and intense and her feelings were all messed up. It didn't take being sans a heart to know she was in no place emotionally for this. All it would do is hurt him, and she refused. She'd hurt too many people, she wouldn't hurt a man she owed so much to. If he even wanted that. It might not even hurt him. It could just piss him off, really.

But she did offer him a smile. It was small and shaky, given what he'd just said. As his ghost had, he knew exactly the right things to say. And she'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little disconcerted by it all. "You remind me of Henry," she told him, her smile widening a bit. "I was terrified to tell him and all he could do was be excited about getting a baby sister." But neither of them had met Aurora.

"I won't be a perfect mom," she pointed out. "I know I mess up with Henry sometimes. And I've never really dealt with a baby before." But her head ducked shyly and she shrugged. "But I've got a great support system. Even if it doesn't include a prince or a knight. And I have to tell you, Graham," she added, her voice perking up for the first time in a while, "seeing as I wasn't raised as a princess, I think it's safe to say I don't care if I'm in the company of princes or not."

Well. Unless it was her dad. She'd give anything for the Seal to drop him in to see them. But other than that. "And would you quit calling the poor kid Cygnet?"

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[info]gaveuphisheart
2012-10-10 09:30 pm UTC (link)
Had she kissed him, Graham would probably have... actually he wasn't sure what he would have done. There was a large part of him that wanted to kiss her again, who wanted to see what there could have been between them. This woman who had made him feel for the first time and freed him from the curse.

But that wasn't fair on her, not right now. Not with everything that was going on with her. Her focus needed to be on her children, and that meant Graham needed to focus on them too. Whatever was needed.

"That's probably the nicest compliment I ever had," he grinned at her, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "Because he is one smart kid. And he'll be an amazing big brother." The baby was really lucky in that way, having the most supportive brother any little girl could want.

"There's no such thing as a perfect mom," he pointed out. "Every parent messes up as far as I've understood these things. What matters is you're going to be there for her, you're going to love her and support her and do the best you can. That's what matters." And the fact she had the support system in place. "I hear princes use too much hair gel anyway. Scruffy is the look of the future."

And hey, she was joking a bit now, and that was a definite plus. Graham grinned more easily. "What, I don't get to use affectionate nicknames?!"

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[info]lostfairytale
2012-10-11 05:36 am UTC (link)
"Well, our parents had their share of mess-ups, now didn't they?" she said, giving him a pointed look. But he was right. No parent she knew was perfect. Her foster parents had always been just the opposite. And she had the issues of being a single mom to contend with, too.

But did she really? How many moms, single or otherwise, had so many people around her, helping her out? A god and a demon and a hunter and a wizard and half the population of Storybrooke, Maine. Constant offers to help if she needed it, people to lean on if things started to break down on her again. She'd need that more than ever soon. And they all knew it and they all accepted her anyway. She had her mother, the best example she could ask for, particularly given the circumstances. A little boy who was so excited for his baby sister that he'd already started putting together a baby book for her. And more friends than the typical lone wolf (pun intended) knew what to do with.

Despite herself, she grinned. "Scruffy, huh? I can get behind scruffy being a good look. Smooth guys typically spell trouble. Or come off creepy. Or both." In her case? Both. But damn he'd been gorgeous, she couldn't deny that even then. "Though I wasn't aware the Fairytale World even had hair gel. The things you learn after twenty-eight years away."

If he was going to affectionately nickname her daughter, well, who was she to argue? That sounded incredible. People from her world taking in her little girl? The daughter she so desperately wanted to make a good person of. With all of that support, all those amazing role models, could she really go wrong? "Weeeeell...all right. I figure most babies end up with weird nicknames. Though usually from what they look like in ultrasound pictures, not based on Mom's last name."

Her smile was small but genuine as she met his eyes. "You know...seems wrong to say you want someone to come to the Apocalypse. But given the alternative? I'm really glad you're here."

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[info]gaveuphisheart
2012-10-12 09:45 pm UTC (link)
Well, that was true, and their parents had messed up rather more spectacularly than most. Still... "Hey, it's the intentions that matter," he returned her pointed look with a lightly protesting one of his own, followed by a cheeky grin.

She wouldn't be alone, that much Graham had decided. Because she was Emma and she deserved better than that, even if she didn't think so herself. And if the baby's father was a waste of space, then the little girl was better off without him. Graham didn't think of himself as any sort of role model, but he could be a protector, and anything the baby or Henry could need, he would give them. He wasn't sure if that instinct came from the Huntsman or the Sheriff. Probably both.

"I happen to personally be a big fan of the scruffy look," he ran his hand over his ruffled hair and the stubble on his face. "This particular look is carefully planned out and maintained, I'll have you know." Or, y'know, not. "Well, it was either hair gel or some kind of magic that had your dad looking very neat even when rushing around and being heroic. Me, I'm going to vote hair gel." Hey, fairy land had hair care products!

He grinned at her acceptance. "Well, I could call her blurry shape if you want, since that's all I ever tend to see with those ultrasound things. But I figure Cygnet sounds better. And besides, I'm willing to bet she'll grow up to be a kickass Swan herself, so it fits." Strong and independent, and capable of a real love, just like her mother, and grandmother for that matter.

The sight of her smile made his own warm as he looked at her, and in that moment he knew that Apocalypse or no Apocalypse, there was no where he'd rather be. "I'm really glad I'm here too." Because of her being there with him, not any other reason. "Sounds like you need someone to keep you out of too much trouble."

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