Who: Anatoly and ghost!Erik What: Anatoly has had enough of Erik's BS and between the stress of working long hours in the medbay and trying to help Svetlana, he's at his breaking point in patience. When: Tuesday morning after Svetlana took the girls to school and shortly before heading back down to the medbay for the day Where: His apartment for once Warnings: Language, angry as-all-fuck-Toly. Status: Narrative, complete
Things were getting more than slightly hectic in the medbay. It seemed that the ghosts that were violent chose now to attack and do the worst damage. Anatoly was helping all those he could, while keeping a close eye on Elena. He was, of course, monitoring her phone usage and taking it away when she got too upset or worked up over things. He had no qualms about doing that. But on top of helping out in the medbay, he was worried about Svetlana. He knew the time of year, and he knew what day tomorrow was. Which was why he was trying to get her to go visit Helena. He wanted her to go spend some time with the Victorian woman today at the very least.
Anatoly was a father, yes, but he didn’t know the pain of losing his daughters the way Svetlana did because he hadn’t been here when the girls had died. Helena knew the pain of losing a child, and he knew she could help Svetlana where he couldn’t. It wasn’t the same to be able to imagine the pain than it was to know it first hand. So he’d kept prodding Svetlana to go to Helena. Yes he knew Helena had her own problems with Myka’s current condition and her ghost, but he knew she would never turn Svetlana away.
Really, Anatoly didn’t like the fact that he couldn’t be there for Svetlana in the way she needed right now, but he could at least have her be around someone who understood. So once Svetlana had agreed and left, after some argument, Anatoly took a little longer than normal to get himself ready to go down to the medbay. As such, he was alone in the apartment with Erik, but he was ignoring the man currently, his mind was too busy focusing on Svetlana , their daughters and the patients in the medbay to really allow him to notice what the other man was up to.
Erik had been watching Anatoly very closely since he had shown up. He had spent years wanting to punch the man and finally had been able to do so. But then he had backed off. Mostly because Anatoly kept to the medbay, given he was apparently running it right now while the normal person was busy dealing with her own ghost. That was something Erik hadn't seen in years. Anatoly bothering to be a decent human being and help people instead of himself. Oh sure, he had made sure the man was actually working and not finding ways to cheat on Svetlana while she believed him to be working. Because wary as she was, his sister had a habit of being blind to things where Anatoly was involved.
This day though had been interesting. And by interesting, very telling. Yes, Anatoly was busy with the medbay. But it was obvious to anyone with half a brain.. or at least who knew Svetlana, that she was cracking and fast. And what does Anatoly do? He tells her to go talk to someone else. The fact remained, Svetlana only talked to Anatoly or Dmitri. It had always been that way. And Anatoly knew this yet didn't care. This time he at least had some time to yell at the man as usually Anatoly was doing something or around people and while Erik more or less hated him by this point, he wasn't going to distract him from his day to day interactions when that involved helping people.
"Really? You're sending her off to someone else to deal with because you can't be bothered? You know Svetlana. Or you did. You know she won't actually open up to anyone. Somehow she does with you for some reason I'll never understand. And yet this is what you do. Typical."
The comment was said in disgust, Erik leaning against the wall, arms crossed. Really. He had known this would happen. Svetlana would be destroyed because of this asshole.
Anatoly had done so well ignoring Erik. Of course he didn’t like the feeling of the man lurking and making comments now and again while he was working or doing other things. But today, today was not the time to prod Anatoly. Given the time of year, Anatoly was all ready on edge because he knew what had happened a year ago. He also knew that no matter what he said or did, he couldn’t completely help Svetlana with what tomorrow held for her. He’d still be there for her, but he couldn’t soothe her pain because he didn’t know that pain first-hand.
So when Erik started in on him, Anatoly tried to ignore it. He tried to just move on and get down to the medbay so he could get back to the patients there. But with the last words, Anatoly let out a pointed breath and whirled around, glaring daggers at Erik.
“You know what, Erik? Don’t sit there and pretend you know what’s wrong when you know nothing! Despite what you might think, Svetlana’s made friends here, and despite what you might think I’m doing, I’m helping her. It’s not that I can’t be bothered, it’s because I know I can’t help her because I wasn’t here a year ago when our daughters were killed. The Seal sent me into an alternate version of Moscow and she was here alone and Fayina and Jelena were killed. I am a father, but I don’t know what it is to lose a child. Sure I can imagine it, but that’s not the same thing. I can’t comfort her and help her through it when I don’t understand that loss. Helena, on the other hand, lost her daughter and understands that pain. And despite what you might think, Svetlana has opened up to Helena. I think you’re the one that needs to stop underestimating your sister.” And really, this was only the beginning of the iceberg.
While Erik didn't exactly know what had happened in this place, he also knew his sister. He knew she closed things in, it was how she always was. Really, Anatoly thinking that Svetlana would go to this Helena woman was just laughable. Because it was as if he was forgetting everything they had gone through in Moscow. In their own time. And all this talk of alternate Moscows and the Seal, well, he understood the concept of it. Had seen it from observing Anatoly or the boards, that things were insane, things could happen that made no sense. And well, he had somehow been able to enter this place that was not his time or home and find the bastard who broke his sister's heart.
"I'm not pretending to know what's wrong, Anatoly. But I do know my sister. She's made friends? Yes. She takes care of people. She worries. But making friends doesn't mean she's going to go to someone when she's upset. How long did it take her to talk to you when Dmitri was sick? To talk to anyone about what was wrong? You say you can't comfort her because you didn't go through it. Fine. Use that excuse all you want. You're ignoring the fact that it doesn't matter if you understand it first hand. It's you. It's always been you."
Shaking his head in disgust, Erik looked at the man before him.
"You're running away. You're afraid to face what happened and so you leave her alone. Again."
“Excuse? Really. I know she needs me, but she also needs people that understands that pain. And how am I supposed to help her heal from something I don’t understand? Something I can never understand? I wasn’t here when my daughters died.” No, he had been in that alternate world leaving a bloody trail of KGB officers from Bangkok to Moscow, ending with Molokov.
“I am not afraid to face what happened. You have no idea what she’s been through since we’ve been here. You have no idea how many times she and I actually make progress on getting past all the pain I’ve caused her only to have something in this fucking insane world happen and set us both back, to undo all of the work we’ve done to rebuild our marriage. I love her and I’m not abandoning her nor am I leaving her. I’m staying right here because I belong with her and our daughters. I was an idiot and I fucked up, I know that and I’m trying to mend the damage I’ve done. This place likes messing with everyone more often than not. And she suffered horrible things in the alternate version of our world. Things I know every detail of because of my experience there, but Svetlana still hasn’t opened up about it a year on despite the times I’ve tried, but I know she’s not ready to talk about it, so I only push when I need to. And you don’t push those topics with her.”
Which, really, brought him around to the part of this where he lit into Erik. “But you don’t even realize that all of this, how she is, is your fault. Because I discovered the reason she is the way she is. I know why she lives in extremes. And it’s your fault because you didn’t listen when she came to you. You merely assumed what was wrong and you of all people should know you never assume anything with Svetlana.” And now Anatoly was getting livid. He was stressed enough with worrying about Svetlana and working in the medbay that was getting increasingly more packed with patients the past few days was wearing on him. And factor in Erik’s presence and his never-failing snide remarks at Anatoly and the Russian doctor was at his wit’s end. He really had no more patience for bullshit and he wasn’t going to just take things lying down. And the fact he was standing up to Erik right now should be a warning to the oldest Krylov because Anatoly had never spoken this way to him before. Ever.
Things that did not happen in any sort of plane of existence. Anatoly cursing. And Anatoly yelling at him. It was an acknowledged fact that Anatoly feared Erik. Something Dmitri enjoyed playing on when he was still alive. When Anatoly was just a nuisance and had yet to actually break his sister. Which he had. Just like Erik had always known he would. Had warned Svetlana, Dmitri about... they hadn't listened. And then Anatoly had just done that.
"That's new, you accepting where you went wrong..."
True, Erik had died during the time Anatoly had been under Molokov's thumb. Hadn't known the extent. Just knew he always ran and hid behind chess and pride and that Svetlana always tried to explain it away. That she tried to say it was okay because the truth was too painful for her and Dmitri wasn't there.
Still, the eldest Krylov brother didn't like the insinuations that Anatoly was making about what had happened in this alternate Moscow. And his eyes narrowed when Anatoly lay the blame on him. On why his sister lived in extremes. None of the Krylov brothers could pinpoint the cause. She'd always been quiet and kept to herself. Not trusting anyone who wasn't them.
"My fault? I more or less raised her." And really, it wasn't any child's job to raise their siblings but their parents... Erik never questioned it. They had their issues, and he had been old enough. He understood children in their ages better anyway. "She's always been like that. I never assume with her. But I also lived with her until she married you. I know my sister. And you sending her away? That's the last thing she needs given what you say she's dealing with presently."
Because Erik did know that he didn't know what she had gone through while here. But Anatoly did. Yet thought she needed to be with someone who wasn't him. Even so, he was thinking back on their childhood, things that could pinpoint where the life in extremes began but for the life.. or unlife... of him, Erik couldn't pinpoint it, because it was always that way.
All right, that was it. Anatoly just had it. He had enough of this.
“I was an asshole who hid behind chess and pride, I know that and I’m taking responsibility. And you know what? Svetlana and I are working on it, working on being a family again.”
But that wasn’t what got under his skin. It was the other part of what Erik had said.
“Yes, your fault because you did assume. She came to you once to try to talk to you, to get you to help her, and you told her it was just kids being kids and to just suck it up.” By this point, Anatoly was visibly boiling because really, he hated Erik for this. Yes he knew Erik had only been a kid himself, but if he’d just let Svetlana talk to him, let her voice what had happened, things would have turned out so different. “She tried to tell you what really happened but you pushed her away. And so she learned to not open up, learned that things that leave scars don’t matter because they are in the past. You have no idea the damage you did to her. That wasn’t my fault, that was yours! For so many years I felt it was my fault that she is the way she is, but you know what? She finally told me what happened all those years ago, and it’s not my fault, it’s yours. There are more evils in the world than simple children on a playground.” Anatoly’s eyes were like pools of fire and he clenched his fists, glaring squarely at Erik. “You are an asshole, you know. And I’m not fucking sending her away! Can’t you see that I’m trying to fucking help her in any way I can?! I’m trying to show her it’s okay for her to trust people because not everyone is a heartless bastard!!” All right so part of the end of that particular amount of ranting was far more emotionally-fused than he intended it to be, but Erik brought it out of him.
When did Anatoly get a back bone? In the years he had known the man, that had never happened. Really, it took some time to adjust to. But oh, Erik heard. And he also at least had an idea of this elusive moment in time, that was apparently so pivotal in Svetlana's development so that she held everything in. And yes, it had worked for Erik. And he taught his sister what he knew. It was all any kid and teen could do. But he also knew Anatoly had a point. But what kid ever thinks of cruelness beyond kids on a playground? Even at sixteen.
So, he remained silent. He listened to what Anatoly had to say. Really listened. Because the man never was this filled with rage, never this raw. And while Erik was not one to be raw in his emotions, he also knew that such moments were when one's true thoughts came through, that truth. Everything he said was truth. What he was doing. His intent. It wasn't a well crafted comment behind a mask. A way to try and appease the overprotective brother who was more likely to punch him than listen.
"No wonder Dmitri always liked you."
That was all there really was to say. Because well, Erik and Svetlana were similar, extremely similar. The things not said were just as telling. There was no challenging of what had been said. No counter argument. Instead, he focused on the fact Anatoly was trying to get Svetlana to trust other people. Like Dmitri always tried to. He was acknowledging that. Nor was he angry. Just... tired. Resigned. He had done the best he knew to do but in the end he had failed.
"You better not break her heart again. Otherwise, even if Death doesn't open the void again to make his presence known without alerting certain others of it, I will find a way to haunt you and hurt you."
Because Erik couldn't just come out and say that he was going to give Anatoly a second chance, that he was going to trust his sister's heart and well being to this man since he couldn't be there for her. With that, Erik vanished, returning to the afterlife. He had delivered the message and had done what he had personally needed to as well.
Anatoly had expected Erik to argue back against him. He didn't really know why, but probably because that's just how Erik had always been. He'd always had something else to say, some critical remark to make about Anatoly. So when he simply said what he had about Dmitri, it somewhat confused Anatoly, but it also somewhat diffused him of the boiling, raging emotions he felt within him. But he had been entirely truthful and was trying to teach Svetlana it was all right to trust people. And he knew she liked people, so he was doing his best to nurture that within her.
Though the threat was far more expected. Anatoly merely nodded and when Erik vanished, Anatoly closed his eyes and took some deep breaths. He then took some extra time to calm himself down before he finished whatever he'd been doing before Erik had provoked him. He then made his way down to the medbay to see to the patients. At least now he could focus easier. Though he also felt better at having been able to tell Erik it wasn't his fault that Svetlana was the way she was. He'd been holding onto that since he'd learned of what had happened so long ago. Now he was at least at peace with that, and Erik knew. So Anatoly went about his duties, ensuring everyone in the medbay was getting the needed treatment. And, of course, keeping an extra eye on Elena in the event he had to confiscate her phone again.