River Tam is in your post confusing you (notmymemory) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2012-06-04 11:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | river tam, simon tam |
Who: River and Simon Tam (references to Felicia.)
What: Dealing with a traumatized sister while being held captive.
When: 4 June 2012, time of day is irrelevant
Where: Abandoned laboratory in Lawrence
Warnings: Severely traumatized 17 year old girl suffering PTSD. Disturbed thoughts. Potential language
Status: Thread/Incomplete
She hurt. It was the first thing that River was aware of upon waking. It was cold but hot. The air was thick with humidity, made it hard to breathe. Or maybe River just couldn’t breathe. She could feel needles stabbing into her. Jamming into her head. She could hear thoughts. They were so mindless and buzzing. Why wouldn’t the buzzing stop?! And despite the buzzing, she felt the pain of people suffering. People going silent. She felt the panic and fear. Why couldn’t it stop. Why couldn’t they locate the things hurting people. She could have gone for it. But she had been focused on Simon. Had to save him because he had saved her and now she was trapped with him and Felicia and everything was so loud.
Presently, River was on the table where the experiments happened. Everything was heavy and light. The room spun and she felt sick. Whimpering, the teen tried to curl up but the examination table was hard. It hurt. Her mind was here and her memories were there. The blue hands. Needles jammed in her head. Killing an interviewer with a pencil as he asked questions. They had lied. They all lied!
Crying out, River threw herself off the table and scrambled to a corner, curling up as she clawed at her head despite the iron cuffs around her wrists which chafed the skin raw. She didn’t care. She just wanted the thoughts out. She wanted silence. But not silence of death. Just silence. No more feelings or fears. No more pain. Why couldn’t they leave her alone!?
“Renzi de Shang Di, qing da wa zhou...” Merciful God, please take me away The Chinese plea was spoken on a whimper as River tried to escape it all. There were only the three of them in there and the mindless guards who hurt her, made her remember. The ones who had no thoughts, just orders. Just actions because they were controlled. She wanted to be gone. She wanted to disappear and not feel this. But she could feel the others. Those captured, those searching, those running, those lost. Those who died. It wasn’t fair! They made her this way. They made her feel everything and she just wanted it to go away. The memories from home both conscious and unconscious, the feelings from here. The emptiness and fullness. Nothing was right. Nothing made sense. So she tried to bang the feelings and memories out of her head against the wall. She just wanted it to stop.