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Tweak says, "'ave a little priest."

Helena Wells has "disappeared" with the Astrolabe (ismellapples) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2012-05-18 20:17:00

Entry tags:

helena g. wells, irene adler

Who: Irene and Helena
What: Helena is paying a surprise visit to Irene because pretending she's fine when she isn't is not the way to go. Unless you want her to try to destroy the world, then by all means. >.>
When: Now-ish
Where: Irene's house
Warning: Uh...I have no idea, tbh. So uh, TBD!

To say Helena was overwhelmed with everything was a complete understatement. She was drowning in all the emotions she was feeling. Really, it was just lucky that it wasn't currently July, otherwise she probably would have snapped and tried to unleash her anger and fury upon anyone she came across. She was no stranger to deep and passionate emotions, but when it came to processing things like pain and sadness? She couldn't process those. Oh she was trying so very hard to learn how to, to keep herself from embracing the more destructive emotions she felt. To keep herself from embracing her inner murderer and seek out Moriarty, hunt him down and tear him apart piece by miniscule piece. While such an image was positively beautiful within her mind, she couldn't give in to that. Killing would not make her feel better, it would destroy her and everything she had worked so hard to become. Coming back once from such a mindset was incredibly difficult. But to have to do it a second time? Helena doubted that even she had the mental capacity for such a trial. It was hard enough as it stood right now.

So after waking Myka up to watch Emily and telling her she was going to take a walk, then drop by Irene's, she headed off. She took the long way to Irene's house, trying to find some way to still her mind. She had come to realize that focusing her mind on one thing aided in her processing things. That was why she'd gone mad inventor after arriving in Lawrence, to help her try to adjust. It was why she clung to whatever fragments of familiarity she could. Yet she found as she walked, her gaze more focused on the ground rather than paying much attention to her surroundings or people coming the opposite way, her mind kept jumping form topic to topic, unable to settle on something. And really, she was still unsettled about Emily's presence. She was vastly better about it than she had been when she'd first woken up and been given the little girl. And all ready her maternal instincts were coming out again. But the fact Christina's birthday had been on Wednesday did not help. And whether she realized it or not, she was trying to close herself off. She was feeling too much and she couldn't process it all. She didn't know what to process first.

Which is one of the several reasons she needed Irene. She knew the other woman would help keep her from closing off. And really, Helena couldn't keep making Myka do it all the time. Helena needed to reach out to others, let them help her if they could even if she herself didn't know what that entailed. She'd never let anyone see her this upset before. Then again, she'd only been this upset when Christina had been murdered, and back then she didn't have anyone who knew her well enough to keep her from closing herself off. As she reached Irene's house, Helena paused on the sidewalk, taking a few deep breaths to try and keep herself centered. Or at least as centered as she possibly could be. Pulling a hand out of her pocket and brushing it through her hair, she walked up to the door and rang the bell. And it was only then that it occurred to her that Irene might have an appointment. But she certainly hoped she wasn't interrupting anything. She needed Irene.

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makethembeg
2012-05-22 11:20 pm UTC (link)

She'd been crueler than usual with her last client, but he had requested it, and really she'd needed the release. Hell, between a week of being locked inside her own head, the subsequent horrendously slow return of her mobility, and then Helena suddenly having a BABY, she had earned it.

The poor man could barely walk when she'd finished with him, his adrenaline was so high, that she'd allowed him a little while to come down before he left. Now that he had, however, she was giving herself a little relaxation time before she showered. She hadn't even bothered to change out of the tiny corset, panties and sheer lace robe she was wearing.

Which was why, when she heard the door bell, she was not best pleased. This was her time, damnit, and if a client had decided to turn up uninvited she would frankly go through them for a shortcut. The idea that it was a friend didn't cross her mind; the only person who dropped by unexpectedly was Helena, and with Emily in the picture there was little chance of that.

Striding to the front door she opened it with both a flourish and a frown, ready to berate whoever had interrupted her. The sight of Helena looking decidedly worse for wear removed the frown however, and she reached out her hand, pulling her into the house wordlessly and into an embrace. The door clicked behind them and she leaned up, brushing the hair from her lovers face and smiling slightly. Having no idea what to say, she didn't bother saying anything at all, instead kissing her softly, waiting to hear something, anything from the broken woman in her arms.

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ismellapples
2012-05-23 02:48 am UTC (link)

There was a brief moment where Helena thought about turning around and leaving before the door opened, but that was the part of her that was trying to slam the walls shut around her heart, the part that refused to let anyone in to help her. But Helena waited, not letting herself run away because if she did, she would undoubtedly run right into Moriarty's all too eager hands. Such a scenario would be a catastrophe on more than one level, and Helena did not wish to be a victim nor did she want to get into a match of murderers. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she also knew that being out in Lawrence alone wasn't exactly the smartest idea, but where else could she go? She needed to get out of her flat for a while. She'd let Myka yell at her later, but for now, she needed to do things her way.

When Irene opened the door, Helena noted the frown and the state of dress she was in. Irene must have been in the middle of something, or at least that's what she'd concluded from the frown. Which then disappeared quickly and Irene held her hand out and pulled her inside. Gazing back at Irene, she tried to return the little smile, but only one corner of her mouth curved upwards instead of both. Her arms snaked around Irene, holding her as she returned the soft kiss.

"I do apologize if I have interrupted anything. Perhaps I should have sent word of my intentions of dropping by before arriving here." For most people, the choice of words would be neutral, but for Helena they spoke to the walls that were trying to build themselves up around her. But even as her words hinted at her trying to hide herself, the way she held Irene and the slightest twinge in her dark eyes gave away the emotions she was trying to keep at bay. And perhaps that was the true reason she'd left the complex in the first place, to run away from Emily and what her presence meant. Running away from these emotions she had not felt since Christina had been alive. Running away from the mess of tragedy that her life had been. Helena was so tired of the pain, so tired of tragedy following her everywhere. Yet she also knew she herself was responsible for most of the tragedy that had befallen her.

No one ran away better than Helena G. Wells, but when she ran away, people died because of her. When she ran away, tragedy would strike. And the rational part of her hoped Irene could see that and keep her from running away completely.

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makethembeg
2012-05-27 07:07 pm UTC (link)

It was easy to tell that Helena was trying hard to appear fine when she clearly wasn't. After all, Irene spent a lot of time reading people, and it wasn't hard to read Helena right now. And the apology meant a lot more than it seemed, that too was obvious. There was none of the cheeky, flirtatious tone that she had come to expect from her lover, and more of a sense that she was trying to retreat into niceties. Which Irene was not about to allow.

"Don't be silly darling, my door is always open to you. When I heard the bell I was worried it was some needy client looking for extra time, hence the expression, do not worry." Before Helena could reply she reached in and kissed her again, a little more forcefully, holding her hair gently but possessively as she did. Breaking the kiss, but not the hold, she smiled then raised an eyebrow. "Now...tell me what's wrong, lover."

It was unlikely Helena was going to open up so easily, but well, Irene had other plans to make her talk if that was the case. Whatever happened, it was clear her partner needed to let out whatever she was feeling, and Irene was determined to make sure that happened. She had watched Helena with the Trident, and she was determined to ensure she never felt that despairing again.

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ismellapples
2012-05-28 05:12 am UTC (link)

As much as Helena pretended she was strong, she really wasn't. She kept up appearances whenever possible because she did not want people to see just how broken she was. She didn't want people to see how wounds struck over a century before were still bleeding though Helena had no blood left to give. The only way she could keep up appearances was to stuff every single emotion she felt deep down inside so she could keep her outer shell up without faltering. The problem with this, however, is that those closest to her, those who had seen beneath the shell, would know and be able to see she was starting to close herself off. Which would undoubtedly push her down the path towards world destruction again. But what else could she do? She couldn't process the pain she felt, so the only other thing she could think of to do was to lock it away yet again.

Helena had been about to respond to Irene when Irene kissed her again. She felt the added forcefulness to the kiss, the possessive hold on her hair. She returned the kiss, not shying away from it. The rational part of her mind all ready had some idea of what was going to happen, of what Irene needed to do to get her to open up, but Helena wasn't exactly using that part right now. At the invitation to telling Irene what was wrong, Helena was not yet going to yield the true answer. Not that easily. "I needed a break, and felt like dropping by to see you." All right so technically that was the truth, but it wasn't exactly what was wrong.

If Irene hadn't kept the hold on her hair, Helena would have tried to pull away, to move to the living room to sit down. But instead she remained where she was, her arms still around Irene. Helena truly was in an extreme right now. Most of the time if she was hiding emotions, she was still able to be more like herself with flirtatious overtones and so forth. But right now, she was in a place beyond that. There was simply too much for her to handle because it wasn't just Christina's death having eaten away at her very soul. Now it was about Emily prodding that open wound. It was about Moriarty undoubtedly wanting to kill her sooner rather than later. It was about Moriarty hurting Claudia and Myka just to get to her. And all of that would be done just to get to Irene.

Really, a person could only handle so much before they either lost their mind or shut down completely. This time, Helena was opting for shutting down completely.

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