"There is more of course, so much more that I did, that you need to know, and you'll hate me. Because I think I do sometimes. Tenel Ka says I'm changing, learning but I still feel it, all that darkness. If anyone so much as looks at them wrong I want to hurt them. Burn them to ash with the power of the Sith and I..."
Oh it burned him sometimes. The things he kept from Tenel Ka and Allana for their own good. Those feelings, that anger. He thought sometimes that they knew, but they didn't press it and he fought against it. Oh how he fought against it. They deserved so much better and he struggled to be that for them.
But Mara, why was he telling her this? He found he could only laugh again bitter laughter to mix in with the bitterness in his Force Presence. "No more lies, its a funny thing actually Aunt Mara, sometimes I forget which those were? Lies, truth, it was all one big mix of words by the end. I had so many strings to pull I forget now which were forgeries and which were truly me. Is that insane? It probably is. It probably means there's no co existence because I know what you'll ask next. I can see it. I can still see and his name is burned in your mind because it was burned in your mind with your last thoughts.
"You want to know what became of Ben. Who called himself my apprentice, because in your last moments you understood what that meant, didn't you?"
She would ask and he would answer. He owed her that.