Myka was used to strange. For three years, her life had been strange. Artifacts that seemed so ordinary completely ruining someone's life. Aging them rapidly, making them act drunk, like a member of the Donner Party. Switching bodies with Pete. Merging with Pete. She had been on the fast track in the Secret Service before Mrs. Fredric had shown up and recruited her for the Warehouse. And oh how Myka had fought it initially but now more than ever, she wished she were back there. Pete making some childish remark while Claudia teased Artie who took it gruffly while Leela smiled at the antics. They were family.....
Oh sure, Claudia was here. But so was Helena. Helena who had betrayed them, betrayed her but had been unable to destroy the planet. Helena who had her consciousness locked away in the Janus Coin while her body lived elsewhere with no memory.... Helena who was right, that they should have destroyed the coin. The coin Myka had fought so hard to keep from being destroyed because she hadn't wanted to lose Helena all over again. Who once again proved that no matter what Myka claimed, her emotions got the best of her and put the Warehouse and the others at risk. First for trusting Helena, and then for refusing to let her go.
How do you say goodbye to someone who knows you the best?
I wish I knew.
If she had just let Pete destroy the coin, perhaps they could have at least saved the Warehouse. Sykes wouldn't have been able to open the lock. And while she would have lost the woman who somehow knew her the best, at least the Warehouse would have survived. Life would have gone on. Slightly more empty without the Victorian woman there, but they would have been able to keep living the life they had apparently been born to do.
But no. Myka was in Lawrence, Kansas in the middle of the apocalypse and Helena was there and Myka didn't know how to handle that. She had already been forced to say goodbye to her twice. Could she really put her heart through that again? To allow herself that chance to get close once more only for it to be ripped away.
Was that what she should be focusing on? Probably not. But the fact remained, Myka had already done all the research she could by going back through the boards. Learned of the people they were filtering against, learned of what they were up against. How everything was sporadic. And it all boiled down to Helena once again. Because reading the boards proved that Myka could lose her all over again and the twenty nine year old didn't know if she'd be able to handle that yet again. She didn't know why it mattered so much, what it was about Helena.... and part of it scared her because of what happened with Sam. Because of the unpredictability.
"I wish Pete were here...." The comment was made softly and Myka wasn't sure if she meant ferret!Pete or real!Pete though she had a feeling it was the latter. And this time, a wish was made and no ferret appeared.
Hearing the knock at the door, Myka sighed and went over to it, a mug of coffee in her hand. She needed twizzlers. She might not like sugar but when she was stressed, she went to twizzlers and she really needed some twizzlers right now. Of course, she hadn't been expecting to see the woman she had been thinking about standing right there. Hadn't known Helena knew which room she was in and had figured it was Claudia.