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Anatoly Sergievsky is a doctor not a chess player (haventwonatall) wrote in wariscoming,

If they had come to face his pride had he become a doctor, it may have been an easier battle. Surely there wouldn't have been anyone he would've worked with in that scenario that would've been a master manipulator like Molokov was. But it was true that Anatoly had always had that pride and ambition within himself, and one way or another it would have manifested itself. With Molokov, it had come out in the most dangerous and destructive way possible. Svetlana, the girls and Anatoly all paid that heavy price in different ways. Svetlana had been left alone and all the promises he'd made her were left shattered. The girls had been deprived of their father who kept them safe and tried to keep their innocence in tact. Anatoly had lost himself, letting himself become akin to a monster in one of the stories he told his daughters. If he'd had extensive knowledge of Western fairytales, he might have thought himself much like the Beast from "Beauty and the Beast." He had been full of pride and not caring about anyone else, and now that he was seeing the way he'd been, he couldn't help but sink into a silent depression and self-loathing that the Beast had felt. But he didn't keep himself locked away in his castle, he was trying to reach out to Svetlana, to give them both some peace and a way to build themselves back up.

It would take a while, he knew that, but with the truth laid bare and Svetlana accepting it, they could move forward. And he would channel his pride and ambition into being the man his family deserved to have around. And he wanted nothing more than to be that man again. He wanted to let his heart show again, to read his daughters stories and be their hero again. He wanted to make Svetlana smile and laugh again and not worry about what horror the next day would bring them. No, he wanted to put his family at ease, and he wanted to put his soul at ease. He hated feeling all the self-loathing he currently felt, but it was only natural in looking at what he had been and finally becoming human again, reconnecting with his heart and emotions that he had locked away so tightly and been smothered by selfish pride. Each day would be a struggle for a while, but he knew with Svetlana there still willing to work on this and move forward, he would rid himself of the selfishness. There was no room for being selfish in a family setting.

At Svetlana's statement of needing to get ready to get the girls, Anatoly was caught a bit off-guard. Blinking, he glanced at the clock and was slightly dumbfounded. How had so much time all ready passed? It wasn't that he'd forgotten about picking the girls up, it was more that time had passed so quickly during this talk that it was disorienting. He nodded in response, knowing that at least they had gotten to the root of the problem, that they both were aware of it and from now on they could actively take steps to going in the right direction.

When Svetlana went to the bathroom, Anatoly stood up and took a deep breath. Running a hand over his face, he tried his best to find firm ground within himself so that the girls didn't ask questions. He looked out the window, gazing out on the part of Lawrence they could see from their room. America, the land of hopes and dreams. They could make this work. They could once again find their hopes and dreams and make them into reality. And it was just then that he realized what Nadiya really meant, what her name translated to in English. That was everything they really needed to know.

Hope. It was their lifeline, and they both had survived this setback. They could survive this. There was hope, and that meant everything to Anatoly. Their dreams could be brought back to life again. They could be happy. And if it was the last thing he'd do, Anatoly would see to it that he and his family were happy again. They would stand taller and stronger together than they ever had before.