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Svetlana Sergievskaya causes lyrical chess wars (thegirlisme) wrote in wariscoming,

But then he was answering her question about Florence and she lowered her head and opened her eyes to watch him through the window again, jaw clenching and lips pursing as she kept herself from commenting. At least until he finished his statement.

Oh, she well knew who Katya was. Anatoly's parents had often made snide comments about her, trying to compare Svetlana to the other woman who had been a teen at the time. Convinced she would do the same to Anatoly, try to pull him from his family and be selfish and manipulative. It had been one of the reasons they'd been so worried about their families meeting. Between Svetlana's brothers and her parents' disinterest in things and Anatoly's parents' perchance for embarrassing him and being rude to those he dated... it had been a recipe for disaster. But there they had reaffirmed that so long as they had one another, it didn't matter.

But to hear that comparison.... it made her jaw tremble and she swallowed repeatedly and closed her eyes as she felt the prick in them, the moistening and burning sensation of tears she refused to let fall.

"So... you just fell back to something familiar. You let yourself be led into a codependent relationship because you wanted more."

The bitterness in her voice wasn't even masked. Because really, how was she supposed to respond to what Anatoly was telling her? How was she supposed to make sense of this? Anatoly was being himself all over again. The man she had fallen in love with, but the fact that Florence reminded him of Katya.... it just reinforced what his alternate form had said. Molokov. That he went back to her because it was easy. Because she was familiar in a strange place. Yes. If Florence had been Katya, it meant that she never had listened and pushed her own agenda. But the fact that Anatoly had gone right back to that sort of relationship?

Her breathing was hitching all over again as she struggled to control her tears. The shaking was worse, her body trying to physically demand she allow herself to cry. But she was so tense and so cold So instead, she clenched her jaw and dropped her head, hair falling in front of her face and hiding it from reflection as she somehow managed to stay standing despite the strain and exhaustion she was suffering from her breaking in regards to Molokov.