Anatoly Sergievsky is a doctor not a chess player (haventwonatall) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2012-02-14 11:52:00 |
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Entry tags: | anatoly sergievsky, svetlana sergievsky |
Who: Svetlana and Anatoly
What: Taking care of the aftermath of what happened with Logan and FINALLY MAKING SOME PROGRESS ON THEIR MARRIAGE.
When: Early to mid afternoon February 14th
Where: The Sergievsky apartment
Warning: Pretty low, the downside of part one that encompasses punching and tirading.
Anatoly knew it was too late, that Logan should have just walked away before any of this had occurred. The man obviously didn’t understand the depth of how upset Svetlana was, hadn’t even thought that saying anything would drag up an whole different slew of emotions and memories that didn’t need to be brought up now. He looked at Svetlana as she spoke to him, nodding gently and heading back to the complex with her without a word. Even if he had wanted to say something, his jaw was rather sore and he was certain moving it would be painful. He could tell it wasn’t broken, otherwise he’d most likely be rolling around on the ground writhing in pain.
When Svetlana sat down across from him and started to tend to his jaw, he looked at her and gently set his hand over hers. “Thank you,” he said softly. It was for more than just her tending to his jaw right now, but having said he wasn’t a failure at being a human being because he did care. He hadn’t exactly outright voiced how he currently saw himself, but he had a sneaking suspicion Svetlana knew it just from body language and how he’d said some things lately. He hadn’t always had a high opinion of himself, but it had never been as low as it was now. But he was hoping that would change. Then again, it was expected for his opinion to plunge so far in response to the whole fall from pride he’d done. It was far to fall, and it would be hard to climb back up, but he knew with Svetlana there, he would make it. He wanted to be the husband she deserved again. He wanted to be the father their daughters deserved again. And he certainly didn’t need other people inserting themselves into their personal issues.
Svetlana gave a small nod as he thanked her. She knew it wasn’t just because of what she was doing now. Just as how when she’d broken down all those months ago in the alley from being attacked wasn’t just from that one incident but everything leading up to it and then being called Svetochka. And this went beyond tending to a bruised jaw but what was said. After all, she had noticed how he was acting, noticed how he said certain things. No one else saw it, but she did. She just hadn’t said anything because they were working on that part of their relationship again. But in that moment when he’d said it, when Logan kept insulting him, Svetlana’s feelings on the matter were voiced and perhaps it was for the better. It wasn’t as if the two did things like a normal couple anyway.
“Of course...”
Bowing her head for a moment, Svetlana took a breath to center her emotions before she gently began tending to his jaw again. She would deal with her own issues once she was certain that Anatoly was going to be okay. This really was no way to spend a supposed day about celebrating love, caught in the middle of a pissing match. Well, one trying to make it as such and the other trying to get out of it, only to be punched for not rising to the bait. Of losing control of her well concealed emotions and having to take care of her husband. Though in some ironic way, wasn’t Valentine’s Day about bonding with your partner? Very strange indeed.
Anatoly did indeed see the irony in this. Even with the cruel interruption from Logan, here they were alone again, and Anatoly knew he needed to calm Svetlana down before her emotions got the better of her. Especially after the ice had been broken in such a jarring way. He let her tend to his jaw for a few moments in silence.
“It’ll be all right,” he said about his jaw. It wasn’t broken, though it was swelling all ready. No doubt the girls would press him on the matter when they got home, but he’d deal with that when they got here. Now, he couldn’t comment on what had happened in the park without poking at the emotions Svetlana was trying to calm, so he needed a different approach. And then he remembered the tea she’d dropped. Still having his tea, which was now sitting on the table, he slid the cup over to Svetlana. “Here, Svetochka.” Because tea fixed everything, and Svetlana definitely could use some now.
The problem was, Svetlana hadn’t even been in ice queen mode that day. Not really. She was upset about things, and hiding it, but not to the extent of being in full ice mode. Not until Logan started in on things he had no place to involve himself with. And then the facade had gone up quickly and he just tore it down before she had time to see what was happening, unleashing everything she had kept hidden, unleashing things she didn’t want to deal with then, that her mind couldn’t handle. And now she was a jumble of emotions and trying to compensate by tending to a bruised jaw. And there really was only so much that could be done.
“Oh. Right...”
Slightly embarrassed that she’d been tending to it longer than necessary, the blond woman dropped her hand to her lap and was about to get up when Anatoly pushed the tea to her. Blinking in confusion, Svetlana looked between her husband and the tea, not really registering the term of endearment used for a moment, though she did flush slightly when it did register. Especially given she’d grown pale from how upset she was at the moment.
“Thank you...” Voice drained, Svetlana took the paper cup and sipped the tea, staring at nothing in particular. Now that it was just her and Anatoly, she knew she didn’t have to hold it all together. She was trying, she always tried, it was just easier to drop some of her defenses when it was just the two of them. Their past, their connection. Even when she hadn’t wanted to, he still was able to get her to that point. No one else could. No one else ever would either, she knew that. So it was pointless to fight it.
Smiling softly in response to her thank you, Anatoly looked at her for a moment before he slid closer to her, sliding his arm around her shoulders and holding her close, comfortingly. He knew he didn’t have to say anything further on his opinion of himself, so he was showing Svetlana his appreciation for her words. It was encouraging to know that there was someone that still saw good in him. It would take him some time, but he hoped he’d be able to see it within himself again. And words didn’t always come easy to him when it came to self-expression, much as they did now, so he had opted for the hug. Now, he hoped that Svetlana wouldn’t meet the hug with resistance or freak out. Hopefully she would be okay with it as he knew adding emotion to the ones she all ready felt was a volatile move that could backfire. But in this case, the hug seemed warranted.
Anatoly gently rubbed her back soothingly, closing his eyes for a few moments. He didn’t even really think about his jaw anymore, he was just focusing on Svetlana, wanting her to be okay and to calm down before the girls got home and asked questions they didn’t want to answer. Nor should their daughters even know what happened in the park. That would just make the whole thing that much worse. So he would just have the girls do their homework or something if they started prying when they got home. It did seem that tonight would be a movie night. Tea and movies and relaxing on the couch. That sounded like a good way to unwind, really. He liked this idea. So that’s what they would do.
Some Valentine’s Day this had turned out to be, but at least they still got their time to be alone and do their own thing. That was the point of the day, wasn’t it?
Feeling Anatoly wrap his arms around her, Svetlana stiffened for a moment before she relaxed. Or relaxed as much as she could in this mind set. Still, it was a better reaction than she would have given when they first had shown up here when she refused to trust him at all because of fear of being hurt again. Oh, the fear was still there. The insecurities and doubts. But after months of him staying with her, both unofficially and officially in regards to living there, the trust was back at some level. Deeper than she’d like to admit. But Anatoly had always had that ability over her. Getting into her heart without even trying, without her even realizing it.
Letting out a slow breath, Svetlana closed her eyes and rested against her husband. The emotions were still spiraling all around within her, but she was at least not pacing and fidgeting as she had been known to do in the past. So there was that.
But Anatoly was right, they at least were spending time together. True it wasn’t the way the holiday inventors or whatever intended but they were still getting to the main point of the day? Bonding and such things? She was just so tired of obstacles and guilt and worry and fear. Tired of the memories and pain. Was it too much to want it to go away, if only for a moment or so?
It wasn’t too much, Anatoly wanted it to go away as well. He wanted to just forget the feeling of the weight guilt put on him, feel the full force of all of his mistakes pressing down on him, threatening to drown him in his own life. Yes he avoided talking about it and he wasn’t as good at hiding his emotions as Svetlana could be, but that didn’t stop him from trying to keep them locked away somewhere deep inside and dealing with them little by little. That was probably why it hurt even more when events like today occurred because suddenly his emotions and inner thoughts found their way out, one way or another.
Anatoly was relieved when Svetlana relaxed into his embrace. It was definitely a good sign, and definitely made things easier. It was a sign that perhaps again they could rest easily in the other’s presence, much like they had before they’d been thrust into that alternate world of theirs. He wasn’t getting his hopes up, he knew better than to do that. He would take it as it came, but at least for this moment in time, they both seemed to relax in silence and not have a tense awkward silence that they’d had before.
He knew the swirl of emotions Svetlana was feeling, and he did wish he had a magic wand that he could wave to make it all disappear for her, to help her relax completely. But he knew it would be far better to find a natural way to accomplish that. He looked at her, wondering just how receptive she would be to him right now. While he had an urge to make a bigger move, he knew it could backfire on him horrendously, especially considering everything with Logan. But he wasn’t Logan, and Svetlana had chosen him, even when they were still trying to rebuild the formation of their relationship. It still gave him a little pause though. But perhaps he should follow that feeling because sometimes good things came from taking a risk. He tightened his arms around his wife a little more, giving her more sense of security and comfort.
As Anatoly tightened his arms around her, Svetlana just remained as she was in resting against him. Sometimes she had to wonder just how Anatoly managed to do this, be the one she was able to relax around no matter how upset she was. Even when they had first met, he’d had this ability to calm her down. True since arriving here, it had worked on and off depending on just what was going on around them, what they were dealing with, but more often than not, he was able to calm her down without doing much of anything at all. They hadn’t really sat like this in a while. There was the attack in the alley, and then when she’d been sick. Following the alternates situation, she’d been less comfortable with such things and more apt to just to pace. Afraid of touch, afraid of trusting Anatoly all over again just so he could be sent away, so someone else could interfere and ruin their lives all over again.
She finally had thought she’d found a friend who didn’t know everything that had happened. So having a friend who was around her age and not involved in the chess drama, it had been nice. But apparently not. Apparently there would always be entanglements in her friendships. And it didn’t help that it sounded like Logan was in his room destroying things as their apartments were right next to one another. Sighing in frustration, Svetlana kept her eyes closed.
“I’m so tired of this. I’m tired of something always happening whenever we finally start to make some sort of progress with our marriage to mess it up. To throw us back.... what did we do so wrong? Why does it seem everything and one is against us... why aren’t we allowed even some small happiness?”
It was a fair question. They both knew that they had to work on things, discuss what had happened in Merano and Bangkok, but they had made progress. Yet every time they made progress, they were thrown back. And to see other people get it seemingly effortlessly? Svetlana wasn’t a spiteful person, but she was tired of this. She just wanted her and Anatoly to fix things without the constant back tracking this place forced on them.
Of course, the question was soft, but she still voiced it aloud. She usually kept it to herself. But after today, the fact that she’d been forced out of her ice queen persona when she’d been trying to protect herself from what was happening? She didn’t have the energy to really filter herself at the moment. So there it was. The question that had been bugging her ever since they started trying to fix things only for them to get messed up by something the Seal did or threw at them.
Not even Anatoly could explain his ability to calm Svetlana down without even trying. He just did. It was second nature to him, really. It was a skill he’d always had, and not just with Svetlana. It was his sister that he’d started it with. Especially when she’d gotten sick, some days the pain and illness were too much for her to take, but he’d just hold her in his arms and she’d calm down. It did work up until it was close to the end when things got to be too much for her. So that was most likely where this knack for calming Svetlana down came in. It was just his nature to take care of someone in pain or turmoil.
As he heard her question, he couldn’t help but feel his heart break a little, though he did agree with her. So often it seemed that everyone else had it easy in forging their relationships or fixing them here. Could it be this world was stacked up against them as well? Beating the odds wasn’t exactly new to them, but it was definitely harder now, considering the past five years and the things in this world that kept breaking down any progress they’d made.
“I wish I had the answer, but it’s not as if we haven’t beaten the odds before. The chaos in this place aside, I do believe we can make it. I know I will fight to make everything stop for just one moment so we can have peace and happiness just like everyone else.” He then gently tilted her head up so he could look her in the eye. “I will drag myself over burning coals to give us that moment if I have to.” His voice was soft, but there was strength and determination behind it. “I love you, Svetochka, and we will have that moment of happiness.”
And with that said, he leaned in and kissed her gently. He hadn’t planned to kiss her, but it just felt right in that moment. He did think she would at least not slap him now as she didn’t push him away when he’d pulled her into his arms. So he was certainly hoping that he wouldn’t get slapped or anything for this. He just wanted to help her forget about what had happened and focus her on just them, like they were supposed to do today.
Svetlana wasn’t certain on how she expected Anatoly to respond to her question. After all, she was mostly just musing aloud, disheartened by the constant turn of events that got thrown their way. They had been in Lawrence for eight months now, two months in they had started making actual progress following seeing Chess, the game where they had realized they were indeed on the same page even with Svetlana’s reservations on the matter. They had been able to relax. There were still moments of awkwardness, but they’d been able to joke around. And then the following month, everything went completely wrong. Svetlana being sent back to Bangkok, used by Molokov for his sick desires, only to come back and admit that she indeed needed her husband but for him to be the version that despised her, who used everything he knew to tear her down completely until she was left cold and alone while her daughters died before her. By the time he’d come back, her Anatoly, she was closed off completely because it was all she knew to be. It was how she needed to be in order to survive. It had taken months to get over that. Even now she still struggled with the PTSD that had been plaguing her since the singing incident right before Christmas. But Anatoly had moved in officially and they were slowly making their way to the foundation to be able to talk about the things they needed to. And on a day that was meant to celebrate love and togetherness, a day to be with loved ones, Logan had to go and bring up everything she was trying to deal with in her own time because he was rash and didn’t care about the outcome.
People might think it wasn’t healthy to be an ice queen, that she needed to feel and express things, but they didn’t realize that the ice queen persona wasn’t just a means to keep people away. It was a way to shield herself from all the emotions she felt. It kept them bottled up until she was able to process them, she just had to do it in her own time. So to make all of the emotions come through at once was dangerous. Still, at least Anatoly was there and they were at least at a place, currently as who knew what would be thrown at them next, where they could be like this and it would help. So fitting against her husband as she always had, Svetlana just listened to him, letting his voice calm through the chaos of her mind.
As Anatoly lifted her chin, Svetlana’s eyes widened slightly at the conviction in his words. She didn’t even realize he was going to kiss her until he did, her mind stuck on the fact that he told he loved her. She knew this, of course. Was able to tell in the way he did things. But it had been over five years since he had told her that, and to hear so stunned her. Yes, sometimes it was a bad idea to throw more emotion onto Svetlana when was struggling to regain her composure, but at this moment, it wasn’t. All the pain and guilt and insecurities were quieted as Anatoly told her he loved her and then kissed her. There was truth in it, not lies to trick her. Nor was this like the times they had kissed after falling into familiarity or being half asleep which left both of them awkward and quiet.
Having returned the kiss, Svetlana took a breath as it ended. She was still trembling slightly from the confrontation in the park, and worried that because they had this moment that something would happen to throw them back to square one all over again. But for now, she was content to stay as they were.
“You’re right... If we were able to find love in a hopeless place like Moscow, we can make it. We can be happy again....” She was indeed slightly dazed by what had just transpired, but she hadn’t pulled away. Reaching up with one hand, Svetlana cupped Anatoly’s uninjured cheek in her hand and gave a faint smile. “I love you, Toly, for better or for worse, that never has changed.”
Anatoly hadn’t known what exactly he expected when he’d kissed Svetlana, but he hadn’t exactly expected her to return it. He knew how she got when the ice queen persona was broken through, especially in a way like Logan had just done. But when she had not only been receptive but returned it, it only reinforced that they were still on the same page. Even with all the set backs, even with all the issues that still lay between them, there was hope. There was always hope, Pandora had ensured that when she’d managed to keep hope from escaping her box. They had managed to find each other and find love in Moscow, they could find it here in Lawrence. Yes there was that whole apocalypse thing happening, along with a bunch of other bad things, but there was always hope, and if nothing else, both he and Svetlana were fighters. They had both decided to work on their marriage and they both knew they wouldn’t stop until they fixed it or, God forbid, they were dead.
Leaning into Svetlana’s touch, he returned her smile, his being gentle and warm. He slid a hand to the back of her neck, fingertips gently rubbing it in a comforting manner. “We can be happy, we can find the balance again, no matter what else is going on.” He looked her in the eye, holding her gaze. Now they had at least voiced their feelings, so at least that was in the open. “There is always hope, and we can beat the odds, no matter how great they may seem.” He kept stroking the back of her neck, helping to calm her down. Of course he knew the neck was also a hot spot, but he was not intending to take this to a physical level, he only wished to help calm Svetlana down, to help her get control over her emotions once more.
Right now, the rest of the world had faded away. All that he knew, all that he was aware of was Svetlana. He wasn’t even really aware of the bruise that was all ready turning dark on his jaw. There was only Svetlana, and for this moment in time, nothing could come between them. Nothing could hurt them. All they needed was each other. That was all either of them had ever needed.
While the neck indeed was a sensitive spot for her, she was too stressed for it to register as anything other than a calming technique. It wasn’t like they were even at a place to consider anything more physical than what had just transpired. Which wasn’t much but such things required trust and not being on the verge of a break down. Had things gone differently, had they not been sent to the alternate reality, who knew. As it was, though, they had been sent there and had to once again deal with those repercussions. She didn’t register those thoughts, not at the moment. Then again, all she really registered was the two of them on the couch.
It had been far too long since they’d had a moment like this. Where they didn’t care about the outside world, where all there that existed was the two of them. While part of her was tempted to lean her head forward but given Anatoly was holding her gaze, that wasn’t happening at the moment. Even so, his plan was working. She wasn’t focusing on the anger and pain and fear and insecurities. She didn’t focus on the guilt she was feeling. It seemed neither of them were. The pain and past five years was momentarily gone. It was just them, as it had been when they first kissed after getting caught in the rain.
“...I’ve forgotten what it was like to hope...” It was true. As the years had gone on, she had held onto the hope Anatoly would return to her. But the hope always diminished until Merano. And then Molokov had cruelly given it to her again to get her to Bangkok only for her to realize the truth. To take it from her and leave her a pawn in his political agenda of destroying her husband. And she had gone along with it because she had to even as Anatoly had killed all the hope in her when he declared his only obligation was to chess, when he won.
It was hard to admit, but there it was. Then again, as it had been Anatoly who had gotten her to believe in dreams and love, to break through all of her defenses, it stood to reason that he would be the one to make her lose those beliefs as he changed. But here he was, staring at her as he had all those years ago, making her feel like she could believe him because there was truth in his eyes.
“We will though... If everyone else can, we can as well. We’ve already done it before...”
Who really knew how things would have progressed had they not been thrown into that alternate world? They might have been able to work through more things without having to back track and heal the damage done by that place. But what was done was done, and the important thing was that they were still here, still willing to work on things. Things always had a way of working out in strange ways, so hopefully that could be said for them in this instance as well. Despite the set backs, they could still move forward with their lives.
As Svetlana admitted to forgetting what it was like to hope, Anatoly felt a pang of guilt, knowing it was of course his fault. Had he not left, had he not let Molokov take him away from his family, none of this would have happened. But there was still hope, even if Svetlana didn’t have it. But the way Svetlana voiced it, wasn’t in an accusing way, though Anatoly well knew he deserved the accusing tone, but given what had just happened today, Svetlana wasn’t in that mood. And this was progress towards talking in the round-about strange way that only they could do.
“We can do this. Damn the entire world, all that matters is what’s here between us, and what we know and feel.” Because really, nothing else mattered when it came to their relationship and fixing it. Right now, Anatoly could care less if the heavens were raining fire down upon the Earth. All he was concerned about was getting Svetlana’s mind off of the earlier events and getting her calmed down. So he continued rubbing her neck, knowing it helped her relax. And at least they had some time to just sit there together before the girls came home. It was definitely beneficial to everyone that Anatoly calmed Svetlana down before the girls came in.
It really hadn’t been Svetlana’s intent to make Anatoly feel guilty. Truthfully, she hadn’t wanted him to realize she had forgotten what it was like to hope. Just as he hadn’t wanted to voice his actual opinion of himself. But there it was thanks to Logan. Anatoly because of the fight, and Svetlana because she was drained following the deconstruction of her ice walls in a violent way. Though, it was progress. Otherwise she never would have said anything to begin with about that as she was too drained to be sarcastic at him.
Instead, she gave a small, tired smile as Anatoly once again affirmed that they could get through this, their gaze not seeming to waver at the moment despite the admission she had made.
“I’ve missed this side of you...”
It was true. When they had first gotten together, Anatoly had been the one who believed they could make it work no matter what, family members trying to keep them apart, the basic atmosphere of Moscow in the sixties to begin with. Svetlana had been wary, uncertain and closed off because it was safer that way and Anatoly had given her reason to hope, had been so determined they could defeat any odds that she began to believe him and then held onto those beliefs even as he grew distant and stopped caring. She hadn’t thought he had this side of him in him anymore, even as he became more human. Five years was a long time for it to lay dormant, and with the guilt and consequences of pride? Well, it was possible that it was gone.
Yet here it was. They were standing at the end of the world, quite literally, them and their daughters. And it was back, the determination and belief in them. She had heard a song in passing while at a cafe and one line stuck in her head. I don’t believe in fairytales but I believe in you and me. It summed them up so perfectly. They knew that fairytale endings didn’t exist yet they still believed in one another, in them as a unit.
The calming technique was definitely working, though, which was good. Because the girls would grow upset and worried if Svetlana didn’t calm down. Yet it wasn’t just the back of the neck technique. It was the two of them forgetting all about what was around them and focusing on one another, on reaffirming their commitment to fixing this. It was a big step, having vocalized their feelings to one another again. Oh sure, Anatoly was trying to prove it via his actions and Svetlana had revealed so in her fever induced tirade, but to vocalize it as they had? That was a major step for them. Nothing could take that away, right?
This was definitely progress. Without having thought about what the other might do or say, they both had vocalized things they otherwise wouldn’t have. Anatoly knew Svetlana too well, and knew that if she hadn’t been exhausted from the debacle in the park, she wouldn’t have voiced anything. Just as he knew if it hadn’t been for the debacle he wouldn’t have said anything either. Of course, they would know the unvoiced things just from the way they talked or acted, from a single glance. It had always amazed Anatoly how well they both could hold a conversation without even using words. They could communicate so much through just a glance.
When Svetlana confessed she’d missed this side of him, he smiled softly. “I’ve missed it, too.” Yes in the past five years he’d been determined, but not in the way he was currently being. By all common sense, this side of him should’ve been far less strong than it was now, but there was no stronger motivator for Anatoly than Svetlana and their daughters. And perhaps because of the amount of time this side of him spent being dormant and everything that had happened in this world, it was now reinforced and blazing strong now that he was embracing his humanity again.
“You bring out the best in me. You always have.” When they’d met, he’d been far more reserved and melancholy because of what he’d gone through with his sister. Yet the instant he’d met Svetlana, he knew there was something about her. He just needed to know more. It was a difficult process, dealing with Erik and figuring out how to get close to Svetlana without pushing her away. They had a very unorthodox relationship, but it worked for them, and it was still working. They were still at the building blocks of putting it back together, but this interaction here only further proved that this was where they belonged. This was where Anatoly belonged.
It seems that line from one song in Chess was right, after all. When that crazy wheel slowed down, he did indeed find himself back where he started. And this was where he was the strongest.
While Svetlana had known she had missed this side of Anatoly, had wished to have this again in the past five years, being in the situation now just made it all the more obvious what she had missed. As such, she just decided to rest her forehead against Anatoly’s, not even thinking about it or what it meant for them. It just seemed the normal thing to do at the moment. At the comment on her bringing out the best in him, Svetlana rolled her eyes slightly. She didn’t really mean anything by it, just that it was an obvious comment.
“Well, it’s about time you realized that.” Smirking faintly though it quickly fell as she really wasn’t in the right head space for teasing anyone at the moment, the blond let out a inaudible sigh, “But you do the same for me. You make me believe in things and let me feel... even when I don’t want you to. You always have.” Just as Anatoly had always known there was something about Svetlana, how he had to know her and that she had helped him and always brought the best out in him, the same was true for Svetlana. Even after that first chess game, she had realized there was something more to Anatoly. Something that made her want to feel. And that had terrified her so she tried to ignore it, refused to acknowledge it until it was glaring at her in the face and impossible to ignore.
They really did have an unorthodox relationship, and while this wasn’t exactly the conversation they needed to have, this was still a good conversation for them to be having. Because it was reminding them of why they worked so well together, that they had overcome so much before. Dmitri’s death had been devastating for Svetlana as he was the one who had helped the two whenever she got stubborn and put her walls up and just like now, they were sitting in a way that connected them, kept Svetlana grounded and from hiding within herself. Perhaps if Anatoly had been there when Erik had died, she wouldn’t have been so closed off by the time she went to Bangkok. Perhaps she would have been more receptive to him here before everything. But there was no way to know that. All that mattered was the here and now.
When Svetlana rested her forehead against his, Anatoly was surprised, but he embraced it. It was something they did when they were connected, when their emotions were in tune. It was what they did when they were comfortable or just to be cute. Anatoly couldn’t even remember the last time that they had done this, which really said it all, but what mattered was what they had right here, right now.
At the teasing remark, Anatoly smiled a bit, but let it slide without a retort as it was obvious Svetlana wasn’t in the mood for it. And with her words, it was even more obvious that they were now ready to work through the bigger issues, the ones they’d been largely avoiding. It would take time, of course, but they would be able to get there, and they could face the issues together and know they wouldn’t break them apart. Perhaps they could never truly be separated for good. Molokov had tried, Anatoly had changed, but it was obvious none of that was able to stick when Anatoly had been left alone here with his family. And now he’d shed enough of that to know that if Molokov ever showed up here, the man wouldn’t hold sway over him anymore. While a great deal of it was due to Svetlana and the girls, there was also the part that the KGB wasn’t here and Molokov would be alone, unable to hold the power over them here as he’d done in Russia.
“We can do this,” Anatoly said gently without fully thinking about it. Which was perhaps yet another obvious statement, but he had a penchant for stating the obvious sometimes. Of course, things could have been different if he’d done some things differently, but while he wanted to undo everything he’d done in the past five years, he couldn’t. All they could do was mend the damage and move on from here.
While Svetlana had always believed they completed one another, secret romantic in her and all, the past five years had begun to chip away at that belief until she was left cold and alone. Yet somehow in the past eight months, Anatoly was able to make her start believing again. Just as he always had. Maybe the two of them really would always complete the other, that even if they were separated by continents, they would still be connected in some way. Otherwise this would never be happening. Even with the months of breaking through the robot shell Anatoly had formed while under Molokov’s tutelage and chipping away at Svetlana’s ice walls that she had to reconstruct to protect herself, they wouldn’t be here, like this, if they hadn’t remained connected on some level through it all. Molokov had tried to break them apart, destroy them in his quest to create the perfect Soviet chess playing machine, yet he had failed. Anatoly had defected. And he had failed at destroying their family as they were coming to a place where they were finally able to begin to discuss the things that had been put on the back burner until they were ready.
Hearing his comment on them being able to do this, Svetlana just gave him a look. Because really, Anatoly and his stating of the obvious. Which was actually a good thing, as it meant that she was indeed relaxing, calming down from the incident in the park with Logan. Oh, Anatoly was right in that Logan would be lucky if she talked to him anytime soon. He had crossed too many lines with this.
“Of course we will....”
While before she would have said that with a hint of uncertainty, she didn’t feel that anymore. The onslaught of emotions and memories were just wearing down on Svetlana, she was exhausted, which was often the case when situations occurred like the one they had just gone through. As such she gently kissed her husband, if only to see if this moment was real before settling against him, head on his shoulder and eyes closed.
“Wake me when we have to get the girls...”
Which was also improvement. With Svetlana’s perchance for avoiding when worked up because of the memories, the fact that she was comfortable enough in Anatoly’s presence to be willing to try to sleep if only for an hour did mean something.