Hino Rei still hates karaoke (fireandpassion) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2012-02-05 16:27:00 |
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Entry tags: | hino rei/sailor mars |
Who: Rei, potentially open to any bad guys wanting to mess with her? Otherwise it works as a narrative.
What: Dealing with things as only Rei can.
When: Right now
Where: Her apartment, then the streets
Warning: Very low
The fire senshi really didn't like the feeling she currently had of not being able to do anything to help anyone who was being affected by the current attack. But she knew it was better left in the hands of those who knew what they were doing. So she was doing her meditations and keeping herself centered. The auras around this place were crushing her mind again with this flare up in activity. Of course, the auras were always there, but something about last night's particular spike was giving her a headache. At least she had her sacred fire, it eased the weight from her mind. Much as the fire amplified her ability, it also took away some of the burden when she needed it. She had an unending appreciation for that bauble she'd found upon first arriving here. If she hadn't gotten that wish, there was no doubt in her mind that she would've been driven crazy by now, and no amount of Minako slapping her or yelling or pushing her would've helped. This was something that only Rei could do anything about, and even then there wasn't much she could do except center her mind and focus, filtering out the auras that most gave her a headache. It was a useful trick she'd learned on her own. If anything, it only made her sixth sense that much more potent because of her control over it. It was the curse of awareness, of always being connected to the forces of good and evil, and it did wear on her at times, especially here. But she would bear the burden because no one else could.
But the headache wasn't the only thing bothering her. She was still bothered by the fact she'd killed people when she'd originally show up in this place. Obviously, she hadn't known at the time that there were innocent human beings somewhere in there. All she'd seen was a life or death struggle, despite the fact she was horrendously confused and thought herself all ready dead until after the battle and she'd rid herself of some of the confusion. But the fact she hadn't know about how demons in this world worked at the time, she was still upset over having taken those people's lives. How could she not be? She had respect for life. Though that respect normally was just for anything that didn't have an evil aura around it. She had said prayers for those people, and hoped that they could forgive her for what she'd done to their bodies. Of course knowing what she knew now, no doubt those people had been very thankful. Possession, by everything she'd heard and read, was a horrible experience, so she was glad to have ended such an experience for them. But she'd never killed a human before, or a human body. She'd only ever just fought and killed youma. Well as far back as she could remember, anyway. What she'd fought in the Silver Millennium was still lost to her. It was plausible she'd fought humans then in order to protect her Princess and kingdom.
Rei just hoped that she wouldn't have to kill another human being if she could help it. She was glad that Minako at least had a power that she could use to tie someone up. Rei's powers were completely destructive. Setting someone on fire wasn't exactly non-lethal. She had her hand-to-hand combat skills, but that was all she had in the non-lethal department. She if she ever encountered a situation where she was fighting someone who was in the grey area of the evil spectrum? Rei wasn't so sure what she'd do. She was definitely the type that saw things in black and white. Either something was evil and needed to be defeated, or it was good. There was no in between for her. Though it did seem that she needed to redefine her views if she was going to be in this world long term. Not everyone fell into black and white categories, and Rei was fairly certain she'd encounter some situation down the line where she'd have to deal with the grey area of life. But she'd deal with that whenever it came up. Right now, she was very much content on her black and white world.
Finally coming out of her meditation, Rei opened her eyes and glanced at the clock. It was getting to late afternoon. She did wonder if she should do a patrol, knowing the evil in the city would undoubtedly take advantage of the distraction last night's attack posed. As she thought about it, she really should just go on patrol and not let anyone get hurt, if she could help it. She stood up and glanced at the wall that Minako's room was on the other side of. Should she ask Minako if she wanted to go? No, she wouldn't. Rei wasn't exactly in a talkative mood. Not that she ever was talkative to begin with and not that patroling called for talking, but Rei just didn't feel much like having company right now. Of course, she knew Minako would give her an earful for not being social, but who could really blame her? It was hard for Rei to make friends, and given the fact she was dealing with bullies at school, she just didn't want to be social at all. As much as she tried to not let the things the bullies said to her bother her, they did. The fire senshi hated it, but what could she do? She wasn't the type to get into fights at school, and she didn't want to run the risk of getting kicked out or suspended, so she just used words to defend herself and pretend like nothing hurt her.
Sighing, Rei wondered if she should even go out on patrol now. Her mind was too jumbled though she knew focusing on doing something would help. But the instant she'd come back from patrol, these thoughts would return.
"I miss the shrine," she murmured. At least there she had things to do to occupy herself when she wasn't at school, doing homework or fighting. Here? She had far too much time that she didn't know what to do with herself. She didn't watch TV, she didn't listen to music much, she didn't read magazines, she didn't use the computer except for school-related things and checking the boards once or twice a day. So she tended to meditate a lot because it was all she could ever do. She longed to go to a Shinto shrine in Japan for just a few minutes, to have some semblance of her life back, to reset herself. For so many years, Shinto was the only thing she had, and being cut off from most of her daily duties and practices in regards to it was killing her. She had no priestess duties, no training to do. She was alone, and she needed to find her way to deal with things. Which right now, consisted of meditating and patrolling. So drawing in a breath, Rei slid her phone into her pocket if Minako needed her for anything, then slipped out of her apartment and the complex and took to the streets.