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scruffysmuggler (scruffysmuggler) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2011-11-14 20:22:00

Entry tags:

han solo, jacen solo

Who: Han and Jacen
What: Han invited Jacen out for drinks just for a bit of conversation.
Where: a bar in Lawrence
When: early evening, present day

Han sat at a table in the corner of the bar. For the moment he was alone, but hoped that it wouldn’t be that way for long. He’d posted an invitation for Jacen minutes before his arrival. Han could have scolded himself for not being a bigger part of his children’s lives, but with a Thanksgiving dinner on the horizon he could picture things changing in a positive way. Whatever had happened in those books and movies was unimportant just as long as he could make something of the hand he and the others had been dealt.

It had been a while since he had first arrived in Lawrence and Han thought that he had adjusted marvelously, all things considered. You certainly could not call the place boring with all of the things that had gone on in the past and all of the things that promised to occur in the future. While such things were exciting, Han had his fingers crossed that the Thanksgiving he intended to share with his loved ones would turn out to be a relatively normal one. Good food and good company, that was all that he was asking for.

He lifted his drink, swirling it around idly to see the melting ice cubes twirl around before taking a sip.

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jeditraitor
2011-11-15 02:57 am UTC (link)

A few short years ago this would never have happened. Jacen knew what Han thought of him, the Han in his present. The one that considered Jacen his greatest disappointment. The one that wondered where he'd gone so wrong with his firstborn son. But that was a Han that had lost Anakin. Had lost Chewie, and countless others besides. This Han was young, not much older than Jacen himself, not married to Leia yet and generally, quite an affable guy. For a smuggler rebel. But all the same Jacen had gone to meet him for the drinks, seeing the gesture for what it was. A father reaching out to the son he barely knew. He'd spent more time with Jaina and Ani here, and it made sense. They were easy. They were like Han in many ways, mechanically minded, pilots before almost anything else. Jacen was a mystery. A black robed figure, mystic almost to those who didn't know him well and he had to have reminded Han of Darth Vader.

Even though he was vastly superior to his Grandfather in every way.

In truth Jacen didn't know what to say to a Han Solo of any age, but he would try, for family. For everything he'd had to sacrifice. And he'd try not to dwell on his father having told him he was no longer his son. That he was a monster in his place. That his Jacen would never do the kinds of things he had. ...It wasn't Han's fault, he would never understand it and Jacen had to accept that.

"Dad" he said simply as he reached the table, the word growing more familiar again, with use. But still an unusual one for Jacen to use. Or, Caedus he supposed. "Hope you haven't been waiting long." It was a pleasantry really, more than anything. Jacen had been tracking the familiar presence of his father for the last few minutes and he hadn't gotten here that long before him. But he knew also that people tended not to like being traced.

"It was a good idea of yours. Tenel Ka's attempting kitchen things. Part of me wonders if its a Hapan Royal trait. Too used to people at their beck and call I guess" Not his Hapan's though, they fended for themselves quite well. He'd blame it on the royal thing.

"How're you doing?" he asked, sliding into the seat opposite his father.

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scruffysmuggler
2011-11-16 02:39 am UTC (link)

Han was taken a bit by surprised at how a word as simple as ‘dad’ could affect his mood. The fact that Jacen hadn’t greeted him by his name eased his worries just slightly. He could remember times in Lawrence when none of his children had felt comfortable calling him father. A great portion of that, he’d reasoned, was probably because he wasn’t the ‘dad’ they were used to. He could understand that. After all, this version of Han Solo had yet to become a father. Maybe, somehow, he could get used to it.

“Nah, just got here.” He gave an amiable smirk and gave a subtle gesture towards the empty seat across from him.

Han chuckled quietly in response to Jacen’s comment regarding Tenel Ka. From the short time he had spent in Lawrence it became obvious that many marriages or unions in general ended disastrously. Still, he had enthusiastically approved of Tenel Ka. Though he was no Jedi he had a feeling, a hunch, that his son and daughter-in-law would last.

“There sure isn’t any shortage of holidays and celebrations in this place.” He smirked and shook his head. Han was fond of enjoying life, but Earth was different. It seemed like there was a national holiday every week. Were it not for those internet calendars he might not have been able to keep up.

“I’m doing alright.” Han took a drink. Was it the truth? He wasn’t suffering, but he did feel like he was dragging. It was mostly for that reason that he’d suggested he and his son go for drinks. He wanted to be active and involved in matters of family and community.

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jeditraitor
2011-11-16 04:41 am UTC (link)

It was pleasant. Almost amiable and Jacen was in no way used to it. He and his father rarely saw eye to eye even before the war that had ripped the Solo family even further apart. But maybe this place would have a different view on things. Maybe here it didn't matter about the past and they could just be father and much older than he should be, son. It was a nice thought. So Jacen decided he'd sit with Han, he'd drink, they'd talk. It would be sociable and Tenel Ka would be happy with him. He hadn't exactly listened when she'd told him to square things with Luke back home. He'd used it to his advantage, like everything around him.

"I suppose its what I get for marrying a Princess." he said, both in response to his own thoughts, and Han's chuckle about the cooking. His father seemed to like the Hapan Queen, as well as their daughter. It boded well since it seemed one day Han would be the one to raise her, he and Leia. "You'll find out about all that soon enough though I suppose." he added almost without thinking. Han and Leia would marry one day, there were no two ways about it. They had to. Jacen very much wanted to be born after all.

As to the Holidays around here, his Dad had a point, there seemed to be one every other week. This one was the one that celebrated giving thanks, that and some kind of conquest of natives by a more powerful, more well equipped foe. To Jacen, it made perfect sense. Both aspects of the thing.

"We'll have fun all the same. It's a nicer holiday than the ridiculous costume one. You show up, eat a cooked bird and talk about the things you are thankful for. I for one have quite the list. How about you?" he asked. His father said he was doing alright but Jacen sensed something different, his father wasn't angry or upset, just... "Know how they say lying to Jedi is pointless?" he couldn't help but point out. "Well, lying to me is a hundred times more pointless and I'm not even really trying. You feel a little off?"

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scruffysmuggler
2011-11-19 01:57 am UTC (link)

Han liked to imagine Leia and himself turning out alright as a couple. At first learning about their marriage and the children they’d had together had been overwhelming, but considering the circumstances that was understandable. Now that there had been time for everything to sink in, Han felt lucky to have his family. There were terrible, sad things he knew would happen in the universe they had all been pulled from, but being in Lawrence softened the bad news just slightly.

“Halloween,” He shook his head with the ghost of a smile on his face. Han had been so grateful that he hadn’t given into pressure and dressed up in a costume. The last thing he wanted was another utterly bizarre experience under the belt, though he expected he’d see many more before he was sent home.

“Sure,” Han’s smile broadened a little. “Got plenty of things to be thankful for. Can’t sit around griping all the time.” He let out a quiet laugh before taking another drink, but his expression evened out a little as soon as it became clear that Jacen had him figured out. Han preferred a blaster pistol to having a powerful mind, but it was times like this that he wished he was on par with Leia mentally if only to even the playing field.

“I...” He let out a heavy sigh. There was really no point in lying when others could blatantly see the truth. There was no point in dancing around the topic, either. “I want to be more of a family man than I’ve been.” He tried to sound frank, no usage of flowery language. This was the truth and it was also his goal. This Thanksgiving holiday, he figured, was his chance to get more involved with his loved ones.

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jeditraitor
2011-11-20 01:27 am UTC (link)

"Personally I kind of liked it. I was this earth warlord from the Roman Empire. He was quite the master tactician and politician. Just fell in love with some foreign queen and well, it didn't work out well for them." The Roman had given up so much for love. Jacen had given up love for...what he thought was a worthy cause. He knew now giving up Tenel Ka wasn't and would never be worth it. The Hapan Queen was selfless. She'd given up her heart, she'd walked away from love, she'd given her daughter to the guardianship of his family so she wouldn't be in danger and she was trapped in Hapes with nothing but the occasional visit from her cousins or holos from Allana.

"Its difficult, being a family man. You did it well, don't worry. I guess I should have learned to your example." It had to have been harder for Han than he knew. Losing Chewie, Losing Ani, and then him of course. "But my past, your future, theres no changing it. You can change the view of the past but not the thing itself. There's no point in thinking about it. No point driving yourself mad."

"No griping. We'll use this holiday as a new start. All of us. Probably mostly me, lets face it. But we have a family here, we lost Cade, Tahiri, Grandad. But we've got a family, and we're got friends, good people. So lets not throw the chance away huh." Jacen knew what this was, why Han had called him here. "You wanted to meet with me first right, try to catch up, try to get to know me. You and me, we were never as close as you and Jaina or you and Ani. I was always more like Mom up until..."

He trailed off, not wanting to go against his own word. "Ask away, anything you want to know. Open book, one night only." And it really was one night only, for someone so able and willing to slip into the minds of others there was a lot about him he didn't talk about. Jaina and Tenel Ka sometimes broke through the shields but even then. He needed his secrets a lot of the time.

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scruffysmuggler
2011-11-21 10:36 pm UTC (link)

It was surprisingly easy, talking so frankly with Jacen, and Han was grateful for it. He hadn’t completely immersed himself in the Star Wars books, but he knew that a great deal of unpleasant things had happened. His future was full of trouble. Good things, too, for certain, but he couldn’t simply shrug off the bad parts.

To hear Jacen tell him that he had done well as a father actually brought a smile to his face, and not just one of those signature crooked smirks that always seemed to pop up right before Han was about to get into some kind of mischief.

“I’m not aiming to change stuff.” Han leaned in a little closer, folding his hands on the table between the two of them. “It’s just like you said. Thanksgiving seems like a good enough time for a new beginning. I’ve got family here and now.” He could have gone on, but didn’t. He wasn’t about to spoil the situation by going overboard with words.

“Jacen,” He spoke with noticeable caution, as if he wasn’t certain that asking his question could lead to anything good. “Did you... Do you resent me?”

This was uncomfortable to Han. He was dying to know the answer, but felt like he was making himself vulnerable by asking it.

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jeditraitor
2011-11-22 08:04 pm UTC (link)

Jacen hoped he wouldn't. For all the bad that had come from his life there had been a great deal of good too. And the galaxy was changed for it. The Yuuzhun Vong had learned valuable lessons and the Killiks had been restored to what they should be. And the Galactic Alliance, his Galactic Alliance. Well things were changed there too of course. But if Han wanted to get everyone talking. Be a family, there was nothing wrong with that. Jacen was more than happy to talk.

As to if he resented Han though. That was a difficult question. Loaded to say the least, and he had to think about his answer. New beginnings. Like he'd said. "Its not that I resented you. I wished you'd understood me more, my reasons. I wished you'd have listened to me. But you hated me. You said I wasn't your son, and it made me realize. I had no one. I had no one that understood except Tenel Ka and then you and Mom turned her against me too."

It still stung, much as he understood their reasons now. Much as Tenel Ka told him how hard it had been. He couldn't shake that memory. Her voice in his ear telling him he needed to surrender to her, telling him she'd send a skiff for him. He hadn't been over exaggerating. It had felt like being murdered and surviving. And his parents had been right there in the centre of it.

"No one tried to talk to me, oh you saw, you all said I was changed. Eventually you gave your consent that they could just kill me. I was that big a risk, and the Jedi...they sent Jaina."

It was a long story, and Jacen was far from the victim in it. But it had left a lot of resentment in his heart, not just for Han but for everyone he had once loved. But he had to put that aside here, he had to let it go so that he could have a family. He'd let the hurt from Tenel Ka's decision go, he'd known it had broken her heart to do it and she'd had to think of Hapes, and of Allana. And he was trying with everyone else, but sometimes it broke through, like with Jaina. But he couldn't let it overwhelm him "Thing is...that's not you, you're not him. Not yet"

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scruffysmuggler
2011-11-27 04:44 am UTC (link)

Now that Han had asked his question, then came the difficult part. How does one react properly to such a confession? He wanted to say that he never would have disowned Jacen, but he had. There was no denying something that was plainly written on paper by that so-called science fiction genius George Lucas. All Han could hope for, really, was to better understand the future and also be close to the people he cared for while in Lawrence.

Han hadn’t read the books, really. It didn’t make sense to him, delving into something that could only cause pain. Hearing what his son was saying was new to him. He felt a pang of sympathy but avoided flowery, contrite sentiments. What could he do now, anyway? Still, he kept his expression on the somber side and listened intently.

“No,” Han let out a breath. “Not yet.” He slouched back, for a moment silent.

“It’s good that you know that. Things don’t have to be that way for some time.” He tried to smile but the expression hardly showed on his face.

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jeditraitor
2011-11-30 08:31 pm UTC (link)

They didn't. This place was different and could remain different if they all worked at it. It had taken Jacen a long time, and if he admitted it to himself, he still wasn't there yet. He wasn't completely sure that he would ever be completely there. There had been a betrayal, probably more on his side than theirs. And he didn't want that. He just wanted it to be family. What was this place if not a perfect opportunity for second chances.

"Don't feel guilty. You didn't do it, and he...I suppose he felt he had no choice. The things I was doing made no sense to him, he was listening to Luke, not me. And Luke was confused with grief. He didn't understand either. You don't understand the Force, even in my lifetime, you know its there, you know what it can do. But you don't have it so you can't know. You can't ever know."

Jacen took another drink, watching his father, so young, not much older than him and wondered if he thought about the future. About the life he would go back to if he ever left here. There was nothing he could do to stop Chewie dying or Anakin, or him. Not really. That was life and that was how it had to be, each tragedy changed the world that little bit more and it all had its place. It was all destined to be.

"We're happy though, if it helps. For quite a long time. No, it wasn't the perfect childhood or the perfect family but we were loved, and we were happy. And even now, back there you and Mom are raising my Allana. For a while here, that bothered me. Because I thought, I assumed you'd teach her to hate me. But you haven't. Not at all. So things aren't as bad as they could be. We can have a family here, all of us. We can be more here than we ever were back home"

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