Handing her back the envelope was unexpected, and now she had it in her hands she wasn't sure if she wanted to open it or not. She busied herself looking over his injuries, making sure all the bandages were still in place, she'd have to redress one or two of them later and maybe Sam would want breakfast. He probably would. It would be the thing to do rather than sitting about reading stupid letters she already knew the contents of. She was more than a little nervous now it was there in her hand. It was such a simple thing really, just a letter, but she was finding it meant more and more to her to be able to do this for Sam. Even if they never did have kids, even if they decided their lives were just too crazy and they didn't want them it would be nice to be able. To have that option. Because that was normal wasn't it? Most women could do this for their husbands. And if they couldn't well there were other options, fertility drugs, or surrogacy or even adoption. But no agency would allow them to adopt when they didn't even have identities really, and Sam's original one was declared dead. Very dead. Exploded in a police station as a wanted criminal dead. She figured she needed to feel bad about sending Lilith there. Those lives, that little virgin, they'd meant more than a lesson to the boys and it had taken her this long to see it. No, she needed to look in that envelope. For her, and for the husband that had pulled her out from hells grasp and treated her like a person and not a monster. This was for them.
She waited till he'd sat up a little and moved to wrap herself in beside him. Not pressing against him too much, he was still hurting and she had no intention of making it worse. But she needed him close when she did this. That warmth he had that seemed to be only for her. She needed it now as she slid a nail along the top of the envelope to get to the letter inside. She took a deep, albiet unneeded breath and skim read the letter. Unusual case... never had to consider ...in spite of ...due to possessions effect on the body ...not applicable in this case ...most likely unable to concieve a child of your own Most likely unable. Most likely. He couldn't just say no. That she was a demon, a thing of evil and she couldn't ever be expected to give her husband a kid, even with the options other people had.
Well that sucked.
"Yeah so, no." she said simply, trying to brush it off. It was ridiculous anyway. She didn't even want a kid, so why did her insides feel like they were tearing up just from reading the damn letter. She was a demon. And she'd known Lucifer hadn't twisted souls just so they could spawn little baby demons. The body she walked around in it wasn't even hers. Would any kid have even been hers anyway? Or Sam's and the woman, the Jane Doe who's name she'd never now know even if she cared to. It was better this way. It was simpler. And he still loved her, he'd said so. He'd said he'd still love her even if that option was gone now. And he would. She'd stopped being jealous enough to think he wouldn't love her if she wasn't perfect like Jessica. His love for Jess had turned to friendship. She was his wife, and she was slowly but surely becoming more content in that positon. She'd had to have or he'd probably have gone mad eventually trying to convince her.