No matter how hard she tried to keep her mind on lighter thoughts, they always turned back to darker ones. Perhaps it was the time of night, or perhaps it was the fact Elphaba didn't have very many happy thoughts to begin with. There were days she was surprised she was still sane after everything she'd gone through. Though to be honest, she had lost her mind a couple times. First was when Fiyero had died, the second had been when Jack had left. And right now, she was very much teetering on the fine line between good and evil. It was the very same line she'd been on for the past five years, but it was all due to her getting carried away with her emotions and the fact that she did what she believed was right.
The green skinned witch carried such a burden on her shoulders that she felt much older than her twenty-five years. She still saw this world as being a fresh start for her, where she actually had people that cared about her for who she was. But there were times when she felt she didn't deserve any of it. After she'd killed that evil witch that had tortured Bonnie and tried to hurt Galinda, Elphaba felt really wicked. If her friends hadn't needed her after that, she undoubtedly would have gone back to her wicked witch self. She didn't like being a cold and detached person, but when she didn't deal with her feelings, it was a safety to her to just stop feeling and shut down.
But right then, she was more troubled and frustrated than anything. She wasn't as close to the edge as she had been just a week or so before. But she seriously hoped she'd get her powers back soon. She truly worried for whoever had gotten them. Her powers were dangerous and her spells unreversable, but at least she still had her Grimmerie so no one would accidentally cast a spell. The book never left her room unless Galinda was hiding it for Elphaba's own good or she needed to discuss a spell in it with Bonnie and Galinda. Otherwise, she did her very best to keep it out of anyone else's hands. She didn't want a repeat of what Nessa had done.
She shook her head a bit and sighed heavily, shifting her cloak a bit around her shoulders. She was so focused inwardly that she didn't notice someone was in her path until she heard a voice. Startled by his voice, Elphaba stopped in her tracks and looked at him, dark eyes wide in surprise. She was about to throw the cloak over her face and flee when she recognized his features. She relaxed a bit and drew in a careful breath. "I think so. Weren't you the one making a list of those of us who had lost and gained powers?" She was fairly certain this young man was one of them, and not some normal person wandering around. She was also fairly certain he wasn't a demon, which was good because she knew Galinda and Bonnie would never let her live this down if she ended up captured. Or else she'd be chained to her bed for the rest of her life.