Who: Elphie and open to her roommates if any of them are brave enough? Otherwise a stand alone What: Pacing, ranting and raving Wicked Witch of the West style When: This evening Where: Her room Warnings: Some language and general wrathiness
If Elphaba had been of rational mind, she would have noticed the changes in her behavior the past few days, the build up of all this rage and anger inside her. But she wasn't thinking straight. All she could feel was rage, burning within her. She hadn't felt this way since she'd been in Oz, desperately trying to save Fiyero. It was her failure there that caused her to finally give in and let herself become what all of Oz had made her out to be. She didn't exactly know why she was feeling this right now. Elphaba had been doing so well, making progress in becoming a better person. And now she was right back where she'd started. She was the spiteful person she'd been before Jack had tried his hardest to get her to open up, to smile and to care.
The green-skinned witch had been pacing around her room most of the day. She was restless, boiling with anger. She was still upset that she'd been locked in her room the day before. She was still upset about her exchange with Bonnie. Elphaba stopped and glared at her closed door, picturing her two friends instead of the wood. What the Hell was wrong with them? Why did Bonnie try to get her to say she loved her more than Galinda? True, Elphaba had hated Galinda, resented her in the time she'd been brought from, but people had a right to change, didn't they? And the fact that the Galinda that was here hadn't yet lived through everything Elphaba had done had made her take a step back. It had been another sign that she could start over in this place. Yet now she didn't care about starting over. Elphaba was starting to want to be left the Hell alone. The little things were really starting to grate on her the past couple days. Everything had boiled over the night before, after Galinda had accidentally locked Elphaba in the attic. Somewhere in there, Elphaba realized it was an accident, but she couldn't control herself, her emotions were too strong. The anger and rage were building up within her, causing her very blood to boil. It had been a while since she'd last felt this angry.
"For Oz's sake," she huffed, pacing across the room, the heels of her boots thumping methodically and angrily against the wood floor. "I'm going crazy in here. Maybe I should just give in to these feelings and let my anger out on the world. Maybe then I'll find a little peace from this damn storm!" She spun on one heel and her eyes caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. She simply glared. "Should I show them all just who I am? Should I let Galinda see just what I become in her future? Maybe then they'll all fear me and stop hounding me!" She growled a bit and turned from the mirror, returning to her pacing.
"Oh El, please don't hate me! Tell me you love me more than her!" She mocked Bonnie's voice, then shook her head. "Galinda never said such a thing to me, so why the Hell would Bonnie?" She cast a glare at her closed door, a glare meant for Bonnie. "Galinda. Glinda the Good!" She mocked the title the blonde witch had had, undoubtedly given to her by one Madame Morrible. Elphaba rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, Elphie! It was an accident, I was just trying to protect you!" She mocked Galinda's voice. "What do I need protection from? I'm so sick of this, sick of these thoughts. What good do they do me? I was doing just fine on my own!" Though that was a lie. Elphaba had been miserable being on her own. It had been Galinda that had first shown her what it meant to have a friend, someone to talk to. Then when she'd shown up here, it had been Jack that had done much the same. He'd done everything he could to get Elphaba to just smile and be comfortable around him. Then when he'd abruptly left, she had been crushed, once again having to deal with someone she cared about being taken from her. But Bonnie had been there to keep her from losing the good she'd reclaimed. Bonnie had helped her keep her sanity when all she'd wanted to do was lose herself to the coldness, to the pain.
How could she possibly choose between them? Bonnie seemed to be pushing her to make a choice between them, but she couldn't do that. Even in the throes of wrath, she wouldn't choose. Instead, she'd merely rage and try to find other ways to avoid making such choices. It upset her even more that Bonnie had asked her to say she loved her more than Galinda. What difference did it make? She loved them both, but if they continued to push for her to choose one over the other, she didn't know what would happen. Even with her power of premonition, she couldn't tell what the future held for her now. All she could do was rage and pace in her room, keeping herself separate from her roommates.
Elphaba crossed to the window and gazed out at the scene before her. She leaned her palms on the window sill and she drew in a deep breath, fixing a glare on whatever her eyes rested on. She felt little tugs at her dress as her two monkeys climbed up her, one perching on each shoulder. She didn't even glance at them. "Life was so much simpler when I didn't have friends. I hate being popular." She growled and smacked one fist against the sill. She could feel it, she was becoming more and more the person Oz had forced her to be. But right now, she really couldn't be bothered to do anything to change that.