She could stay composed through almost anything, but this was passed her abilities to remain calm over. She was angry. No, not angry. She was furious. He killed her father. There were emotions running through her. He had to have known that she would react in just this manner! She needed to see his face. She needed to see his eyes. Needed to face him, needed him to face her. How dare he not tell her that while facing her? How could he do that? She couldn't believe him! Part of her wanted to kill him. A big part of her wanted to run him through with her lightsaber. The turquoise color was shinning and she could hear the power behind it. She was so angry. She wanted to hurt him. How could he do so much bad? He kidnapped their daughter, killed so many people, and her father had to be on the casualty list?
She wanted to kill him, but she couldn't. Damn it she couldn't kill him. Despite the anger.....she had better control than that. She wished she didn't. Seeing him turn around, she knew that she couldn't just kill him. Damn him. It was his fault her father was dead. It was his fault she was angry, but this wasn't an evil man standing in front of her. This was Jacen, the man that she loved. It would have been so much easier if he weren't standing in front of her as Jacen.
Her anger was there, but her control was returning. Meeting his eyes she could feel the anger, feel the disappointment, the sadness. She could fell all of it running through her. How could he do this to her? How could he do this to Allana? That meant that Allana never got to know her maternal grandfather. He had stolen that from their daughter. Obsiously he had made too many mistakes. Right now she couldn't forgive him for these things. They were all brand new and fresh to her. Gritting her teeth as he said he wouldn't fight, Tenel Ka almost wanted to demand that he fight. Did he feel as if he deserved to die? Did he feel remorse?
Swallowing with difficulty, Tenel Ka stood there frozen. "Do you feel remorse? Do you feel guilt for what you did?" She still held her lightsaber at the ready, though she already knew she couldn't kill him. Maybe she was weaker than she thought? At the moment, though, he wasn't a Sith Lord. His words almost made it easier, though. He was almost encouraging her, but her mind was already made up.
Grey eyes full of fury stared at Jacen as he spoke again and Tenel Ka quickly let that turquoise lightsaber disappear, putting it where it belonged as she reached forward, grabbing Jacen's shirt. "I'm not killing anyone today." She heard the quiver in his voice "I never want to see Caedus. I will kill him. Do you understand me? Any sign of him in you." Letting go of him, Tenel Ka took a step back and tried to breath, tried to compose herself.