He watched her pick up the knife, unsure as to whether or not she was reminiscing or considering giving him a taste of her blood. His mind instantly went to the blood whenever he saw her pull a knife out. Even if it was so much as her (attempting) cooking, Sam would see nothing more than her sliding the blade of whatever she was holding her hand across her wrist and beckoning him over for a drink. This was no different now. With his mind on Azazel and the temptation stronger than it had been in a good while, Sam couldn't help but eye the knife with interest. That faded quickly when Ruby curled into herself, looking for all the world like the last thing she wanted was for him to come anywhere near her. Sam bit down on his lip, inwardly cursing himself for being so stupid. No demon blood. He wasn't supposed to be drinking it anymore, let alone thinking about it. But it would all be so much easier if he could have that power back, wouldn't it? He could just walk right on in and blow Azazel apart. Show him that what he had created had been a mistake, then kill him with the very power that he had bestowed upon Sam to begin with. It would have been a deliciously ironic death, one that Sam was nearly ready to throw all that groundwork toward his recovery away for to make happen. Fingers locking together at the back of his head, Sam lifted his arms and turned away from Ruby, focusing his breathing once more. That helped, sometimes, when he got all twitchy like this. If it got any worse he'd go to the bedroom and get one of the vials of potion he had sitting on his desk. It'd help.
"It doesn't feel like you gave anything up right now," Sam said flatly. "This is exactly what you did back then. You knew that there was some great, big, bad master plan and you didn't say a damned thing to me, even though we were together. Even though we loved each other. Yet even with all that happening, you still found a way to stab me in the back." Sam was bitter. He wasn't even going to bother trying to hide it. "I want to trust you right now, but I can't. Not after this. Not after everything -" Sam stopped. Ruby's eyes shifted back to normal, momentarily distracting him. Sam didn't know if that was her getting better or worse, but he kept quiet as she got onto her feet and moved toward him, knife in hand. That knife was soon pressed against his palm, directed at Ruby's chest by no other than Ruby herself the second it landed there. What was she doing? Did she really think he was just gonna up and...? Sam immediately pulled the knife away, anger darting across his features. It was a reenactment of everything that had happened on that road that night. Him angry because of life or death lies, Ruby begging him to either kill her or let her stay, because there was nothing else left if he didn't follow through on either option. Infuriated, Sam hurled the knife to the ground, his own voice immediately drowning out the clatter of the knife against the tiled floor.