InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "i'm not okay i promise"

Barbara Gordon (alwaysabat) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2010-10-03 02:23:00

Entry tags:

barbara gordon/oracle, dick grayson/nightwing

Who: Babs and Dick
What: Even Bats need to be looked after from time to time
When: This evening
Where: Dick's apartment
Why: See 'What'
Status: Incomplete.

Over last few weeks had been extremely hard on the residents. All of them. There were really no exceptions. Usually it didn't extend that far but the whole town had been involved, and as much rampant confusion as there was, there were explanations that generally made no sense that the minds of the locals were latching onto in an attempt to rationalize what had happened...

But it wasn't the populous that she was worried about at that moment. No. Dick had been stressed. They'd all been stressed, but him... he'd needed sleep something awful. It was times like these, she realized as she put her copy of his key into the lock of his apartment, that they really needed Alfred. It was what he did. He took care of them, and she knew that he'd been looking in on Dick all these years, despite the distance. But now he wasn't there. And Dick was horrible at taking care of himself. Even if he was sleeping he wasn't working on the other aspects, and just being here was strain enough.

Closing the door behind her, she moved to the kitchen, not stopping to see if he was there - and put up some water for tea. She had had enough coffee to last her a lifetime. ...well maybe not. But she would check on him in a few minutes. He'd spent enough hours and done enough random appearances at the clocktower and her apartment over the years that she felt no problems in just coming into his unannounced. That was what family did. If you were a bat.

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onatightrope
2010-10-06 06:37 pm UTC (link)

"Ollie and Dinahs wedding?" He glanced up at her in surprise. For him that was years ago. He frowned a little through his sick haze. "..Babs, that was almost five years ago for me." But it didn't add up, and the temporal thingy was hurting his head again the more he tried to analyze it.

And when he caught her rolling her eyes it only earned her a cocky grin. like he was a kid all over again, and she was the new Batgirl. He'd been so focused lately on being Nightwing, avoiding Batman, and trying to take care of Jason that he'd been neglecting Dick Grayson. He'd almost gotten so wrapped up in things that he'd forgotten how to be himself out of the mask. He was almost his old self, save for a little slow on the up take. He leaned forward on the couch slightly to pick up the mug of hot tea and raised an eyebrow as the heat stung his hand at first. he was no good at tea drinking. He always got burned. But finally he got used to it and closed his eyes half way, sipping at the warm liquid. It was soothing. He didn't even notice a simple gold band slip out of his pocket attached to a silver chain.

He was exhausted. When he finally put the tea cup back down he noticed his sinus' did feel a little better. But his stomach churned unhappily as he eyed the burnt toast. He forced a strained grin and looked up at Babs for a second, then back down at the toast. She had made it with all the best intention..So he reached for it and took a tiny bite. Fortunately his gag reflex was way too bogged down by decongestants to taste the burnt crumbs, so he was able to refrain from making a face at it. However he did look over at her after taking a second bite and smirked. "It's a good thing you're a computer genius." He stated teasingly while trying not to chip a tooth on his food. If one could even call it food.

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alwaysabat
2010-10-08 05:15 am UTC (link)

"Five years?" That made her sit up a bit straighter. It couldn't be. The time couldn't possibly be that far between the two of them. He looked... she had to admit that he did look older. A bit. But it explained so much... about the changes, the differences and why some things she didn't recognize. And she didn't. He was so much more serious, he seemed to forget himself, and that worried her. For all her trying, this was the most relaxed she'd seen him, and when he shot her that cocky grin, she couldn't help but chuckle. It was just like old times.

She reached over and squeezed his arm, getting go as he worked on the tea. There was comfort here. The familiarity of it all. There was no war outside and it was almost like they were back in her apartment after one of their patrol sessions. Before she was in the chair and after. She noticed the chain literally hanging from his pocket and was about to say something when he started teasing her. "Don't blame me," she said with a somewhat fake frown. "Your toaster is screwed up. I know how to cook. After all I learned from the very best." Alfred had taught her.

She was quiet for a moment, reaching down and cupping the ring in her hand, with a small smile. "Its beautiful," she looked up at him. She thought about it and wondered if this wasn't the ring he'd tried to give Kory when they'd tried it the second time. But it didn't make sense as to why he'd be carrying it around.

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onatightrope
2010-10-08 05:30 am UTC (link)

"Give or take a few days." Go figure it took him being too sick to move physically to finally get some relaxing in. " Everything going on, I didn't even notice how far apart we were.." He sighed in frustration and put down his tea cup with a slight shake of his unsteady hand. He was tired again. He rested his chin against his chair and smiled a little, though it was a bit more strained then before. The time warp thing was doing a number on his head as he tried to mentally figured out how old that made her. Then she laughed and he perked up slightly.

At her touch there was a warmth to his eyes that rarely touched his face these days. He'd been so stressed out. "Are you sure you didn't fall asleep in those lessons? I did once. i think that was why he never let me back in the kitchen again after the blender incident. There was only a little on the ceiling." dick shrugged. He must have been about eight when he tried to help out and everything backfired-literally. "Alfie didn't appreciate my culinary expertise. Everyone's a critic. " He tried for exasperated but he was drained so he didn't know what his expressions were panning out to be.

The tiny ring slipped out of his boxer short pocket when she touched it. It was gold and simple, and for a half second Dick had no idea what she was talking about until he turned to face her and saw the glittering item. "..That's what you should have said when I tried to give it to you." He didn't make a move to take it back, but there was a certain pain in his eyes. He looked down at his feet and stood up. It took effort, but he was too worried to stay seated now that the cat was out of the bag.

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alwaysabat
2010-10-08 06:03 am UTC (link)

He was relaxing. Relaxed was probably the right word. "Unlike some of us, I paid attention during lessons," she said with a wink, tapping her forehead with her index finger. "It helps that you can remember every recipe you've read." And it was true. but that didn't necessarily help with the carrying out of said recipes. She would never admit it. She was a good cook! These days, however the problem lay in actually getting access to the stove, given how the apartments were laid out. "and I think that Alfred, of all people, is the height of opinions in this area." She stuck her tongue out at him, yes acting childish, but for that moment it was fun. He was trying hard, and she understood from his look just how tired he really was.

Despite all the banter and the seemingly light feeling, it all sort of fell short when she heard his words about the ring. When he'd given it to her? No. When he'd tried to give it to her? The implication took a moment to sink in... sometime in the next five years, Dick had... proposed to her? Really? It was a shock, beyond the others.

His eyes changed and while he didn't move to take it from her, he stood up and she quickly reached up to grab his hand. Not certain at all what to say. He'd proposed to her... but he had the ring... Something must have happened! But... was it him or her? She couldn't be dead. He'd have said something... or not, but he'd have reacted differently to her than he had. When it came to Dick the two of them had always had an... interesting relationship. Colleges to friends to lovers to nothing and then... well when she was from they'd started talking. But it was odd. But she could not think of what could have happened... was it her?

She was staring from it to him, trying to make heads or tails out of this. He'd proposed to her? Her eyes softened looking up at him, not knowing at all what to say...

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onatightrope
2010-10-10 03:38 am UTC (link)

"Yeah yeah. "He hand waved her comment with a yawn and smirked tiredly. "Bragger." it was obvious he was trying to force himself to stay awake. This was the longest they'd spoken in awhile and he didn't want to ruin it by falling asleep just yet. Then there was the ring and it seemed like the tiredness just sifted away. Like it didn't matter anymore. She knew about the proposal and how badly it failed. It was all out in the open and an awkward silence took over. One that made him even more uncomfortable then the truth had. "Yeah, that's pretty much what happened the first time too." Dick sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair in frustration.

"I shouldn't have said anything." He stated and looked over at her again with a smirk. "It's just this cold talking, don't worry about me." It was obvious he felt stupid. He tried to blow it off like it was nothing and avoid more awkward conversation. He'd already had more then enough for his liking. It wasn't the way things were supposed to go. He sat back down, only this time his movements were a bit heavier then before. His eyes closed half way as he rested his forehead against his hand as if he were trying to block out what he'd just confessed, and pretend it didn't happen.

She'd told him to grow up and try again later. Dick wasn't sure if he'd be able to. It'd wounded his pride a little too badly to try it a second time. Since then he'd been alone. He'd had on again off again flings, but nothing had ever been the same.

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alwaysabat
2010-10-10 07:29 am UTC (link)

The smirk was forced. She could tell. Maybe it was the cold, the reason he was being so open, but if he was cutting off - which he was - it meant that it was a very sore subject. It was something that she was racing through in her head. What could have made her say no. It had to be something. But he... She didn't know if she should feel guilty for something that hadn't happened yet. Whatever it was she knew it had to be a good reason. Still... Babs had had three real 'relationships' in her adult life. Dick, Jason Bard and Ted Kord. The last had ended in friendship - even though she loved him, it was better that way... and then Ted had died. With Jason, the only time she'd been engaged, and that had ended because she was too cowardly to let him see her in the chair - something Dick had mostly been away for, he might not even have known about that one. And Dick... the most complicated of all.

He might have been able to fool other people, but not her. She and Dick had just been through too much. Breakups and make ups aside, she knew him. And something like this, she wasn't going to just let go. But it seemed that verbally would be the entirely wrong way to deal with this. It didn't make it better that she didn't know at all what to say.

Dick's eyes were closed and she took the opportunity to wheel herself around to the other side of the couch, before putting a hand on his arm, gently. The look on her face softened and she squeezed it slightly before carefully moving herself from the chair to the couch, sitting next to him (never an easy task), and hugging him.

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onatightrope
2010-10-12 09:00 am UTC (link)

Dick had only ever had a few relationships. None of them had worked out. Some tried to kill him, but apparently it ran in the family. Like father, like son. Since his break up with Babs and even Kory, Dick had been a little less of a playboy. Less of a show off. He just stopped trying to be happy and it showed. He tried to hide it with a cool exterior of strictly business and jokes, but in a private room it was impossible to hide. Dick had many regrets in his short life time, but the main one had always been not being there when Babs needed him the most. Being off on Tamaran for Kory and away from home where he was supposed to be. In the first couple years of his "freedom" he had been angry. A whirlwind of selfish emotion, and it did nothing but complicate things further to the point where they stood.

He rubbed a hand awkwardly through his dark hair against the back of his neck and just gave her a sheepish look as she moved closer. He thought it was going to end poorly. But then there were arms around him and a familiar warmth he forgot he was capable of feeling. His eyes slid shut. They were so tired of seeing nothing but pain. Part of him wanted to fight. The other was too tired to keep up the charade. The tension in his body slipped away and he rested his cheek in the crook of her neck. He was for once at a loss for words.

It'd been so long since he felt warmth and kindness. The last time was what?..he didn't even remember her name.. He managed finally to straighten slightly in the embrace as he tried to regain his bearings and not sink into a sea of memory. "I can't." He couldn't let himself get comfortable just to be rejected again.

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alwaysabat
2010-10-18 05:50 am UTC (link)

Arriving here had been an ordeal by itself. She'd met people, made friends and allies whom she cared about. She had a team here and a group that helped keep her sane. She'd had support, Xander and Rory, but now Rory was gone. She'd tried to rebuild, but that was a long and difficult process - one that she was familiar with. But Dick was here; and in more ways than she'd admit, he helped, filling a void she had barely been aware was there. He was different. She could see it in every step he took and hear it in every word he said. She couldn't imagine what had caused it - given that he had been this way when he'd arrived. This place, it only made it worse.

Barbara held him tightly, closing her eyes, finding it familiar, comforting, and in many ways - it was something she had missed. So much. And they sat there for several minutes until he moved away from her - Babs' eyes slanting a bit in confusion. Was something wrong?

When he spoke she closed her eyes momentarily and let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. She instead put her hand back on his arm and squeezed lightly, trying to comfort him in some way. She pulled her legs up onto the couch and made herself comfortable, lying her head on the cushioned back of the seat. "Its okay," she whispered. The last thing she wanted was for him to be uncomfortable. ...she'd hurt him. Above all else, the one thing she didn't want, she'd done. And this one was different... And there wasn't anything to fix it, because she hadn't done it yet.

She leaned her head over more, getting comfortable on the couch where she was, her breathing becoming more relaxed. She was a fixer. And he was hurting...

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