Sam could understand feeling uncomfortable about discussing Faith. He could. It was kind of like when people gave him those dirty looks whenever he mentioned Ruby; those looks that came off accusatory or flat out disgusted because he had chosen to stick with the demon rather than abandon her when the truth about what her plans had been all along had come out into the open. Sam couldn't help it. As furious as he was with her, he wasn't about to ditch her now. Not when every time he thought of her, his heart started beating faster and faster. It was like he couldn't physically breathe sometimes when he wasn't around her and Sam didn't know what to do about it. That was love, he supposed. Fucked up and painful as it was, that was exactly what it was. He had to deal with it accordingly, even if sometimes things like his addiction to her blood and the day-to-day bullshit that sometimes came out through the cracks of the relationship they were trying to mend together once more - like the info on the police station that Lilith had attacked a few years back - got in the way. If he didn't deal, he'd lose her forever. That wasn't something that Sam thought that he could handle. Loss was a big part of his life. It was turning into such an occurrence that he actually believed that it was likely going to happen the second he stopped trying to take control of everything around him. If he stopped taking the lead on the hunt for Lilith, if he stopped keeping both eyes on Ruby seventy-five percent of the time, if he stopped pretending that everything was fine and that he did actually do a lot of things that were fucked up and wrong...bad things would happen. They always did.
Sam bit down onto his lip, considering the chair that was offered to him for a moment. Then, rather decisively, Sam stepped around and slid onto it somewhat ungracefully. Hey, being half drunk didn't do much for what little grace Sam already lacked in. It wasn't going to change now. "You really think so?" Sam leaned forward, looking up to see the bartender scooting another drink in front of him. Good. He wasn't ready to stop just yet. "Do you really think that she's not just gonna up and go nuts on everyone one day?" Sam took his drink into a hand and downed a little of it. After a swallow, he glanced over at Pike somewhat cautiously. "How do you know for sure? The little things. Are they really enough when it comes down to it? Compared to the big stuff she did...like trying to kill Buffy? Does it really make a difference?" It was kind of a personal question on his part as well. Sam often wondered about Ruby. Kind of like all that had happened today. She had declared that she was finding more and more reasons to want the world to steer clear of Lucifer and the apocalypse. Ruby had even told him that she had helped a young girl find her mother at the mall today. Yet, soon afterward, he had discovered the hand she had placed in the deaths that had taken place at the police station. That virgin, Nancy. Henrickson. All those innocent people. Dead. They could have stopped that from happening. They could have saved those people. That one bit of good felt like nothing in comparison to all the bad that he'd just had shoved down his throat and Sam found that he didn't quite know what to do with that information. Could he really keep going like this? Finding out these horrifying bits and pieces about what Ruby had done in the past? To him? To people in general?
"People like that - like her." Sam looked down into his drink, frowning. "You've always gotta worry. They can't just change overnight, man."