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Hannah Abbott ([info]healinghannah) wrote in [info]vrrpg,
@ 2018-09-29 18:38:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!complete, char: hannah abbott, char: theodore nott, location: other, location: residence, time: 2012 09

Text/RP: Failure
Who: Hannah and Theo
When: Saturday, September 29, 2012
Where: Draíochta Pub, Ireland, then Theo's home.
What: Hannah has been abandoned and reaches out.
Warnings: High emotions, spiked drinks, NSFW


Hannah had been abandoned.

Oh, of course, she'd assured Ginny that she would be fine and to go, of course, because her friend had an early game tomorrow, and she hadn't wanted to throw her off it. It would just be one more thing to feel guilty over, and she didn't think she could handle that. Not with how her brain had been lately.

That had been nearly two hours ago, though, and she'd had a few more drinks on her own. While not as much of a lightweight as she'd been before the explosion, she had definitely crossed the line enough that she would be feeling it tomorrow. It didn't help that a cute guy from the other side of the bar had sent over a couple drinks too, and she'd been just buzzed enough to accept them rather than politely declining them.

Her head was foggy, her vision slightly blurred, and there was a throbbing in the scar on the back of her head that refused to dull. "Shit," she breathed as she stumbled as she got up. A hand flung out to catch her, holding onto her arm just below her elbow, as an arm went around her back.

"Whoa there, are you all right, miss?" a man asked, and she found herself looking up into amber eyes that she could barely focus on.

To her horror, she felt tears filling her eyes and lifted her other hand up to push at his chest weakly. "M'fine," she slurred.

"You don't look fine. I can--"

"I'm fine," she repeated more insistently, louder this time, as she pushed him a little harder. The eyes she was managing to focus on slightly better narrowed in irritation, and he let her go abruptly and took a step back, his hands raised to show he wasn't touching her anymore.

But that moment of clarity wasn't lasting, and her vision began to swim again. Hannah pushed forward, making her way to the loo on feet that weren't quite steady, and she let out a soft sob once the door swung shut behind her. Fingers lifted, threading through her hair and squeezing tight at the roots as she pushed her back against a wall, her tears starting to spill over now.

Something was wrong.

While she wasn't always a clear and focused drinker, this was a level she knew, even in her inebriated state, was not normal. Panic raced in her chest as she fumbled to get her phone out of her pocket, and she scrolled through her recent messages trying to figure out who to reach out, though it took much more focus than she had at the moment, and she soon clicked on someone's name, not really registering who it was.

MM to Theo Nott: I nred hlp


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[info]nottthistime
2018-10-01 03:05 am UTC (link)
He was quiet a moment only because she'd once again managed to shock him out of words. Normally he was much more on the ball than he was tonight.

"I .." the hesitance aas born out of surprise that she would want him that close. Most people didn't want the acerbic man that near.

"Just don't tell the aurors," he ended up saying in something like an amused grumble, and he was grateful his mouth was working properly again.

He rose, leaving her hand so he could cautiously navigate around to the other side of the large bed. How long had it been since he'd shared a bed? He wasn't even sure these days. "I'll do my best not to snore," he added.

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[info]healinghannah
2018-10-01 06:00 am UTC (link)
At his hesitance, she was sure he was going to try to find a way to politely decline, and she braced herself for it. But then he spoke, and she let out a breath on a soft chuckle, nodding even though he wouldn't be able to see her in the dark. "I won't," she promised, not that she thought it was any of the Aurors' business.

"I won't hold it against you if you end up snoring," she countered quietly, turning toward the side of the bed he was coming around to. Once he was settled, she shifted carefully closer to him, reaching out one hand to tap his chest lightly. "D'you... mind?" she asked hesitantly, wanting to curl up against him, but doubting he would want that. It likely wasn't fair of her, in large part because it was just her overwhelming sense of loneliness pushing her on, but she was comfortable with him and liked him at the very least as a friend, though she wasn't in any frame of mind to consider if it could be more than that right now.

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[info]nottthistime
2018-10-01 11:16 am UTC (link)
He moved carefully as if expecting her to change her mind at any moment. He was a bit shy, as well as being an introvert, and it took him a long time to become comfortable with certain things. These last years had accustomed him to largely beinf alone, especially at home.

But it was as if he could feel her loneliness, a twin yo his in many ways. It called to him, and so his arm slipped around her gingerly and gathered her in.

"It's all right," he told her. "I'm just.. not used to sharing anymore." But he settled back comfortably, a silent invitation for her to curl up against him.

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[info]healinghannah
2018-10-01 09:29 pm UTC (link)
Hannah blew out a soft sigh of relief when he let her come closer to him, curling up against his side and resting her head on his thin, toned chest, closing her eyes tightly against the wave of emotions she felt at his quiet admission.

"Me either," she admitted back. And it was true. With everything going on, the long road to recovering as much brain function as she could, and then having to relearn so many bloody things, she hadn't had time or energy to try to devote to any sort of relationship. And then there was the guilt and grief to deal with when it came to Ernie. But there hadn't been anyone since him, and her heart ached with the depth of her loneliness.

She only hoped that he wouldn't hold it against her or feel she was using him. She didn't see it like that, though she knew it could be perceived as such. "I haven't... not even innocently sleeping next to someone like this... not since Ernie," she added in a whisper that carried easily in the quiet of night.

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[info]nottthistime
2018-10-01 09:50 pm UTC (link)
He was stronger than he appeared from the outside. Not too thin -- gods forbid, Buona would NOT allow that in her household, and for some reason he still counted even though he'd lived here since he was able to live on his own again after the explosion. But he had always tended towards that corded, lean muscle rather than bulk like most people.

He gave her shoulders a little squeeze. "Surprises me a little," he said, finding it easier to admit in the dark like this, in quiet voices. "You're so personable and all." She actually liked people, whereas he tended to avoid a lot of them these days.

She also had a lot more friends, or so it seemed to him, than he did. But he knew he could be misperceiving it.

"It's been longer than that for me." He paused. "Well. Unless you count giant cats."

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[info]healinghannah
2018-10-01 11:19 pm UTC (link)
As her cheeks flushed warmly, she was grateful for the darkness, that he wouldn't be able to see her embarrassment that he was surprised by her admission. "Yeah, but I'm brain damaged, and everyone knows it. Not exactly a quality people look for in a partner," she retorted, quieter and with more hurt than she'd meant to convey. She'd meant to say it as if poking fun at herself, but it seemed that after the intensity of things tonight paired with the almost intimate moment made her tone more truthful than intended.

It had been a very long road to the level of recovery she'd reached so far, but she knew there was still more to journey. It was exhausting and emotional, and she was so tired of it all. Some days she just wanted to give up. But something always seemed to pop up on those days, pushing her on.

"Really?" she asked quietly, both surprised and not by that. She knew he'd had a lot of ups and downs over the years, even before the explosion, but... well, he was a man, wasn't he? Though she knew it wasn't fair of her to put those types of stereotypes and generalizations on him.

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[info]nottthistime
2018-10-01 11:30 pm UTC (link)
He snorted softly. "Certainly you suffered an injury," he said. "But look at everything you've done since then. I can't see why anyone would let that fact sway their judgemeng unless the world really is filled with idiots."

He was discounting the effort she put into it all. He knew it had to be hard. And some days were harder than others. He suffered much the same way. He hoped she could tell that.

He half shrugged, a gesture she would feel. "Well yes. It's not like I had much of a social life before. I've been focussed on the job more than many things." Plus.. there was his family hanging in most people's minds as well.

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[info]healinghannah
2018-10-01 11:47 pm UTC (link)
She scoffed under her breath at that. What she'd done? She didn't feel like she'd accomplished anything in the last two years. Sure, she'd relearned some things she'd lost to her brain injury, but she still wasn't done with her healer training, and she was becoming increasingly overwhelmed with the feeling of inevitable failure. "You think it's filled with idiots, anyway," she pointed out with a hint of amusement. It was something he'd never seemed to try to hide, anyway.

"You've always been rather job-focused." She pulled her lower lip between her teeth then, overcome with a ridiculous impulse that she was fighting to ignore, but her curiosity won out. "How do you see me?" she asked softly, insecurity lacing the question with a small quiver in her voice. "I mean... would you ever want to snog me?" she added a beat later, trying to infuse some humor in the words, as if she wasn't serious, as if it wouldn't be a hit to her already fragile sense of self if he seemed disgusted by the thought.

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[info]nottthistime
2018-10-02 01:49 am UTC (link)
Theo echoed her scoff right back at her, telling her how he felt about that. "Well, of course," he said dryly. "But that only proves my point -- they're all idiots." Theo was, perhaps, a bit arrogant at times. Only about certain things, but he was highly intelligent and sometimes did have trouble interacting with others. More over, he was highly intelligent in specific areas. His friends were, on the whole, very intelligent people themselves, which made things much easier.

He heard the undertones of her words, and needing to actually look at her, he rolled slightly. It moved her onto her back, and his torso twisted to hover above her so he could look her in the eyes in the darkness of the room. "You've no idea, do you?" he said, as if just realizing. "Hannah, you've always been pretty, popular, kind, and smart. You were one of the most popular people of our year, excluding our .. celebrity." There was a certain wryness to his tone at that. "The accident changed none of that, except it proved you're brave too. I know you might not feel it, but you are still those things, if you only really look."

He was an excellent healer. Terribly smart and gifted at certain things, and he worked very hard. But Hannah had something he would never have when it came to treating people, even if it took her longer to get to where she wanted to go -- people liked her and trusted her. It was something he would never be able to say.

"And yes, I can see myself wanting to snog you," he finished, the smile in his voice more than it was visible.

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[info]healinghannah
2018-10-02 02:20 am UTC (link)
Hannah tutted, though the sound came out more amused than disapproving, and she shook her head slightly against his chest, thinking he was just a bit ridiculous for saying that. But she'd known him for over twenty years, and he'd always had a bit of that detached, arrogant intelligence thing going on, something she knew she was woefully ill-equipped to keep up with, though it had perhaps gotten worse as he'd gotten older.

The move startled her a little, but she went with the motion without resistance, her heart picking up a bit at the way he hovered over her, her eyes meeting his though it was too dark to make out the color of them. "I've never.... never been all that," she whispered awkwardly, her cheeks flushing, because no, she really didn't have a clue that anyone saw her that way. Not that she thought her friends had thought too poorly of her, but she'd always assumed most people just tolerated her because she was so friendly. But Ernie had thought the world of her, she remembered with a sharp pang of sadness in her chest.

As he finished, though, another spike of impulsivity rushed through her, and before she realized what she was doing, her head lifted, closing the space between them as her lips met his. Maybe it was fueled by her loneliness, but she wasn't letting her think about the why just then.

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[info]nottthistime
2018-10-02 02:32 am UTC (link)
He knew his attitude drove away people. He'd tried to temper it, over time, but he was ambitious and wanted to do well in his field. And sometimes it just slipped out. It wasn't that he thought less of his friends, at least. He was just.. not good with people in the way that she absolutely excelled at. And depression had only driven him further from them even though it made things worse, not better. He tried very hard with what friends he did have, nad he hoped they all realized he cared a lot.

"Of course you have. You just don't see it because you're too close to it. I've always been on the outside, so I can see it," he said matter-of-factly. Aside from the Slytherins of his year and a few others, he had always been on the outside of most groups, never quite fitting in.

It was not a smart decision, but he wasn't really thinking with his brain. And not really with that second brain most men were famous for. No, it was the emotions, really. She was lonely, and that loneliness called to his own loneliness. It had been so long since anyone had kissed him. Touched him. And that all overwhelmed him as her lips pressed into his. He paused only a second before giving a little sigh and returning the kiss, his lips softening against hers as his head tilted to a better position.

It was just a snog, as she'd said earlier, anyway. Right? He didn't want to answer himself, and he could be very good at ignoring his own advice at times.

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[info]healinghannah
2018-10-02 02:41 am UTC (link)
The way he was so matter-of-fact about it made her think that maybe it was true--or, rather, that he truly believed it was true, and that was enough of a comfort for the woman who had so little self-confidence to begin with. "If you say so," she murmured, letting it go without fully giving in to agreeing.

For a moment she thought he was going to pull away and tell her he hadn't meant it or that he didn't want to right now or that it wasn't okay because of how she'd ended up at his place. But he didn't do any of those things; rather, he kissed her back, and she sighed happily against his lips, one hand coming up to cup the back of his head as she lowered hers back to the pillow, bringing him with her so that they could keep on snogging.

There was nothing wrong with a bit of snogging between friends, right?

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[info]nottthistime
2018-10-02 02:55 am UTC (link)
He should say no. This entire evening, what almost happened to her, was a reason that he should say no. The fact that he'd taken on the role as her healer tonight was a reason to say no. He could possibly be abusing power. Was she really consenting, or was this something from the drugs? No, no he knew it couldn't be the drugs, but she must be feeling vulnerable, and he shouldn't take advantage.

But he found that he wasn't a good enough man to pull away right now.

There was a soft sound as her fingers went into his hair, and slowly he relaxed against her, some of the tension bleeding out of his thin form as his lips slowly explored hers. He hadn't forgotten how to kiss, he found. It was actually one of his more favorite things about intimacy, kissing, and so he was rather good at it once he let himself stop thinking quite so damned much.

And without quite thinking about he coaxed her lips apart with his own to deepen it slightly.

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[info]healinghannah
2018-10-02 03:11 am UTC (link)
It had been so long since her body had been roused in this way that just the way his lips moved against hers, so soft and sensual--surprisingly so!--had her heart racing, body flushed with a spreading warmth, and her fingers pushed more fully into his slightly too-long locks, her short nails brushing against his scalp as her mouth opened more fully to him.

She'd always enjoyed kissing, though she'd never thought she was very good at it. But the way he kissed her just then? It felt like if she followed his lead, then she probably wouldn't mess it up.

Her other hand came up between them, brushing against his flannel covered chest, her fingers absently starting to play with the buttons running down the middle. She probably shouldn't push anything--it definitely wasn't like her to!--but she was starting to be overcome with a heady mix of comfort and desire that was easing some of the loneliness that plagued her, and she soon had the top button worked open.

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[info]nottthistime
2018-10-02 03:22 am UTC (link)
He hadn't realized he'd missed kissing. It had been long enough that he'd simply figured that it wasn't something he thought of often. He wasn't one of those men whose sexual appetites ruled him. But apparently he'd forgotten that he did, indeed, have them. Have needs and desires that he pushed aside.

And she'd said a snog, and a proper snog had to be thorough. He could never have been comfortable snogging a stranger, not enough to feel heat settle into him, warm and almost unfamiliar at this point, but it made him feel so much less alone. But she was his friend. They'd forgedthose ties theselast couple of years.

He couldnt say he didn't know what her fingers were up to. No, he was only too aware of her touch, but he didn't know if he should stop it or not, though thoughts of that flew from him for a moment as her nails scraped over his scalp in a distracting manner.

She was down another button or two before he was able to in any manner pull himself away, and even then it was for a breath. "Hannah?" and his voice had a rasp to it that hadn't been there before. It wasn't a protest but a question.

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[info]healinghannah
2018-10-02 04:41 am UTC (link)
Hannah couldn't remember a time she'd been so forward with a man--not that that was saying much considering her continued memory issues--but she knew that there was no way she'd have been able to succumb to this burning need within her if she'd not been with someone she considered a good friend by now, someone she trusted.

He wasn't stopping her, wasn't pulling away and insisting that it was enough, that snogging her just didn't do it for him, and so she kept at it. The fingers of one hand continued to fumble over the buttons on his shirt, flicking them open one at a time, almost too slowly. And one foot shifted to the side and up, finding its way over his leg wanting to urge him closer, her body running on emotion-fueled instincts now.

Only then he was pulling away, and the rasp, the question in his voice as he said her name sent a small thrill through her. "Please?" she breathed, not wanting to push, but not wanting to stop, either. A part of her wanted to ramble at him again, to reassure him that she was all there, that she wasn't influenced by drugs or alcohol in that moment, that it was just him, but she bit her tongue to stop herself. Instead, she tugged lightly on his half-open shirt and repeated a soft, breathy, "Please."

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[info]nottthistime
2018-10-02 11:00 am UTC (link)
His brain knew what his answer really should be. He should say klno, he should back off. There were times he actually hated his brain, the way it interfered with his life and kept him from being able to do things.

It was the way she said please that did him in. It made him feel unexpectedly needed. And no one needed him anymore, not really. That mind of his tried to whisper that it was only an illusion, that there was no way this woman actually needed or wanted him. That they were both just lonely.

But caught up on the moment, he pushed those thoughts aside. The comfort of the darkness they were in and those confidences they'd shared, and the way she tugged on his shirt and whispered, had him leaning back down and claiming her mouth again.

There was an edge of need to the kiss, and he let her leg pull him to settle a little more firmly over her. His right hand stroked down to curl firmly around her thigh and he sighed quietly onto her mouth, a sound of enjoyment.

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[info]healinghannah
2018-10-02 03:42 pm UTC (link)
There had been another moment where she'd convinced herself that he was going to push away from her and put an end to this impulsive, blazing desire that had flared between them. And she didn't think she was the only one feeling it. But that moment passed, and he was settling more fully over her and kissing her again, and she pushed away those intrusive, lingering doubts, letting her body take the lead instead of her mind.

Her hand slid down from his hair to join her other one, working the rest of the buttons on his shirt open with more urgency, determined not to let herself think about what she was doing and instead just feel. It had been too long since she'd just let herself feel, and she felt safe enough with him to let go in that way.

Once the buttons of his shirt were all freed, she pushed the sleeves down his arms, one at a time, so he could get it off, and then her hands moved over his chest and shoulders, the warmth of his skin radiating against her own, and she moaned softly into the kiss. It wasn't enough, not yet, not even nearly, but it was a start.

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[info]nottthistime
2018-10-02 07:26 pm UTC (link)
She wasn't the only one feeling it. Or he wouldn't be involved. He'd have backed out even if it had hurt her, if he wasn't into it. It was often so hard to turn his brain off, but it definitely wasn't doing much thinking right now, for once in far too long.

He lived too much inside his own head. And she had pulled him out of it.

He helped to shrug out of the top, and he tossed it somewhere to the side, not caring where it ended up. And he groaned softly as her hands explored the planes of his chest, the tight muscles taut under his skin.

Then his lips pulled away for a moment and he gave a huff of a laugh, a quiet surprised thing, before he flipped them over, putting her on top. It was his turn to grasp the her of her shirt and start pushing it up. Fair was fair. A top for a top.

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[info]healinghannah
2018-10-02 07:58 pm UTC (link)
Hannah let out a startled laugh when he huffed his own quiet laugh and then flipped them over, her hands gripping his shoulders in her surprise, and she leaned in to kiss him firmly, briefly before pushing up again so she could lift her borrowed shirt up and off, tossing it negligently away.

She was glad it was dark in the room, that she didn't have to put effort into keeping her self-consciousness at bay. She could simply enjoy the brush of skin and the heat that simmered between them.

Her hips pushed down against him, a wanton motion that made her cheeks flush deeply, though she ignored it as she leaned in to kiss him again. She didn't want to stop kissing him--why would she when he was so good at it? And she shivered at the way her small breasts brushed against his chest, her nipples tight little buds of excitement begging for attention.

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[info]nottthistime
2018-10-02 08:51 pm UTC (link)
There was just enough light that he could see at least in generalities - her pale skill, the darker shade of her nipples, the shape of her breasts. But he got only a glimpse again because she leaned down to kiss him.

He groaned again as her hips pushed down on his, and his lifted in response, adding to the friction. He'd forgotten how good that felt. The heat between them deepened, the need more intense.

Hands skated up her sides and between them to Palm her breasts. His left hand was more tentative than his right, still more cautious, ever afraid of misusing the prosthesis, and the difference in temperature was faint but there. But aside from caution, he didn't think about it for once as he squeezed. A small sound of approval slipped from his throat without him realizing it.

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[info]healinghannah
2018-10-02 09:48 pm UTC (link)
If she stopped to think about it, Hannah would be utterly embarrassed by this explosion of arousal, but she wasn't going to stop, didn't want to. She hummed in pleasure against his lips as his hands palmed her breasts, oblivious to any differences between them, forgetting for a moment that he even had a prosthesis because it had been done so realistically.

And as much as she was enjoying kissing him and the touching, after a while of it, she was overcome again with the need for more. If she stopped to think, she might wonder if maybe she was being influenced by some substance, though she wasn't really. No, she was just being brave for once, letting herself be vulnerable in a way she hadn't since the explosion.

Trying to channel some more of that bravery, Hannah started to shimmy down his body, kissing along his chest and belly as she went, and as she settled between his legs, she ran her fingertips along the upper hem of his sleep pants. Pulling her lower lip between her teeth, she started easing his pants down, shifting further down herself so she could get them all the way off, and then returning and wrapping a hand around his silky length. She hesitated briefly, giving him a chance to back out, before leaning in to suck the head of his cock between her lips.

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[info]nottthistime
2018-10-02 10:32 pm UTC (link)
No point in being embarrassed at this point, unless she rejected him. It felt good, great, and that was what mattered now. And the darkness hid his few scars, hid what he thought of as his scrawniness, so she couldn't tell that he was subpar in comparison to many men. He followed her lead to an extent, her bravery greater than his, but his enthusiasm couldn't be doubted as the evidence pressed against her and his participation was definitely there.

He gave a little grumbling, groaning complaint as she left his lips and the pressure of her hips left his, as well as his opportunity to pull her up to explore those breasts of hers more thoroughly, but his breath soon caught as her mouth traveled down his chest.

A shiver and some gooseflesh erupted as her fingers teased around the edge, and he lifted his hips helpfully so she could ease them down and bare him to the cooler air of the room, though it did seem rather heated between them just now. Now was a little groan of enjoyment as her hand stroked him, and he tipped his hips up a bit in invitation before she leaned in, giving her permission. Then he really groaned, a much deeper sound as the heat of her mouth enveloped him, and he reached down to tangle a hand in her hair while his other fisted in the sheets. "Hannah..." she pulled his name out of him with that mouth of hers, and his breath came a bit more raggedly.

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[info]healinghannah
2018-10-02 10:42 pm UTC (link)
That moment, that one right there, the way his hands flexed, grabbing onto the sheets and her hair, the way he groaned, the way his hips jerked up toward her--that was why she enjoyed doing this. Although she didn't think she was that great at it, but there was power in the act regardless, and it wasn't like she'd ever had any complaints about her mouth in this capacity.

Her head dipped up and down as she worked her mouth over his length, using her lips and tongue to tease him though she was careful to keep her teeth from sliding against the sensitive flesh. Hearing her names on his lips was like a aphrodisiac unto itself, and she hummed around him in response, already feeling the heat pooling between her legs in anticipation of what he would feel like there.

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[info]nottthistime
2018-10-02 11:27 pm UTC (link)
He definitely had no complaints at all. He got lost in the sensations, everything else but her and her touch sliding away in a way he couldn't ever make himself do. He could be so cerebral that getting himself to let go wasn't easy.

But the need grew sharper, more desperate, and finally Theo tugged on her hair. "Hannah," he said, and there was that edge to it. "Please." He didn't want to spend himself in her mouth. He wanted to sink into the heat of her and feel her come apart around him. He tugged her back up his body and his kiss was as hot as he was needy, and his hands pushed at the sleep pants he'd so recently given her to put on.

She would have to tell him no, at this point, if this was too much. Theo rolled back on top of her, supporting his weight, and a hand curled around her thigh to lift it a bit as he settled between her legs.

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(no subject) - [info]healinghannah, 2018-10-02 11:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nottthistime, 2018-10-03 12:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]healinghannah, 2018-10-03 12:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nottthistime, 2018-10-03 12:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]healinghannah, 2018-10-03 12:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nottthistime, 2018-10-03 01:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]healinghannah, 2018-10-03 01:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nottthistime, 2018-10-03 01:24 am UTC

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