_katiebell_ (_katiebell_) wrote in vrrpg, @ 2017-07-30 14:29:00 |
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Entry tags: | char: ginny weasley, char: katie bell, location: network, time: 2009 07 |
Network: Thoughts
Who: Katie + OPEN
When: 7/30/09; late evening
What: Katie's having a bit of an existential crisis...
Warnings: TBD
Public/Private: Public
Freddie is so beautiful. And Teddy starts Hogwarts in a month. And the twins start next year, and Alicia and Angie are married and happy and amazing. I write for the Prophet. Anthony is dead.
Gods, Anthony is dead. Did he know that I always did love him? That marriage just wasn't for us? He made me feel alive after the war. It was the first time after... everything... that I wanted to feel again, that I let myself. I'm 30 years old and marrying him is the only impulsive, happy, crazy thing I've done since I was 17.
Fecking war. Does anyone else still feel angry about it? About what it took from us? Because so many -- all -- of my loved ones have moved on, so beautifully and so well and so full of life and I'm still angry about what it took from me. From all of us. If I hadn't been changed by the war, might things have worked out with Anthony? Might I be married and happy and might we have children now? Might he still be alive? His mother didn't deserve to lose him. He didn't deserve me leaving him like I did. I just... couldn't do it. The normal, happy life he seemed so content with.
Of course, I have no idea what to do about any of this. What do you do? How do you change the path you've been on for so long?