Theodore Nott (nottanymore) wrote in vrrpg, @ 2017-02-14 22:43:00 |
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Who: Theo, Blaise, Kermit, Callie, Ginny
When: Valentine's (pretend it's earlier on)
What: Theo has issues with holidays
Warnings: References to abuse under cut?
Public/Private: As marked
Private
I thought this would stop by now, this shouldn't still be happening to me. I have to struggle, I have to try so hard to pretend to be normal, the smallest give and it takes a yard and then some; I have to fight this but all he has to do is-
all that
has to happen is one day, a day that's supposed to be special. Christmas, New Years, my birthday, his birthday... Valentines. He put in the work years ago I guess, well done, now he can sit back and-
When is it going to stop!? I wish I could just dig into my mind and tear it out. Dig out my bones. I don't want to be this way, I don't want to be like this, again, every time, I, but all I can remember is those things he used to send me, gifts, those sick, sick cards, foul, the times when I was at home and
all I can feel is
fingerprints all over me and burning and the way my stomach churns
its etched right in there if I can just peel my skin back, pull the muscle away I could see the places where he scraped it onto my bones
I can't do this. I can't do this.
End Private
This is what a heart looks like.
Just a muscle, just muscle, like all of us are. Real love bleeds. Is this romantic?
Private to Blaise, Callie, Kermit....
Thank you for thinking about me everyone, thank you for the gifts and the wishes.
I don't know the word really but I still love you all.
(...and - after some thought - now Ginny as well)
I was going out of the country on a work thing but
I'll be in my room, but I've warded the doors silent so I won't be able to hear anything outside, in case you needed to know that.
Happy Valentines?