Allen Walker; Exorcist of the Black Order (belovedclown) wrote in voicesinmyhead, @ 2007-08-07 05:51:00 |
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Current mood: | pensive |
Entry tags: | allen walker, prompt #02 |
Prompt #2 Family
...I..I don't know why you're asking me about family. I can't say I know what its like to live with the mother who birthed you or the father who sired you. They never gave me a chance, because of something I can't change. Admittedly if they hadn't cast me away I would never met my foster father Mana. He accepted me, everything about me. I couldn't have asked for a better person to take me in and raise me as his own. He was a very kind man who taught me...many things.
He always told me to keep walking no matter where the road was taking me. Its something I stick to even now years later. I used to hate my arm, that is different from everyone else's. That was sadly something he could only tell me quietly that 'God never makes mistakes'. It helped sometimes when people told me I was a demon child, other times I just didn't understand. But he was my world, everything revolved about him... Deep down maybe it still does, my hidden heart.
But as far as family that isn't blood related I know it quite well. The Black Order in a way is my family. We're from all walks of life, banded together for one cause. ...In other ways they are just nameless soldiers who live and die in this bloody war. Rinali asked me to share my burdens, that friends do that. I've never had friends before, until I met one while with master. That didn't end well. I can't agree with her, there are some things you have to deal with alone. Its better that way.
I apologised for yelling at her, but not for keeping things hidden. I'm not sorry for that at all. Opening up to others winds up in distaster and it will only slow me down. I can't afford to pause, I have to keep walking on. Whether she likes it or not.