Dr Elizabeth Weir (ex_diplomati58) wrote in voicesinmyhead, @ 2007-06-26 01:28:00 |
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Entry tags: | elizabeth weir, prompt #03 |
What are your thoughts on love? [open]
It's very easy to be cynical on this subject. I try not to be.
The natural assumption one makes when asked a question like this is that the person asking means love in the context of romance, or at least sex. It's the natural assumption because that's usually what they mean. So:
I loved Simon Wallis, and I hope that I'll always care about him. I hope that one day we can be the friends we were before we were lovers. The truth is, though, that I miss my dog more than I miss him -- and he has my dog.
In the end, I have to put my city ahead of my personal relationships. It was a decision I made very easily when I chose to leave my life on Earth to pursue Atlantis -- not knowing, when I walked through that gate, what I would find on the other side. It's a decision I make again every day, and so far I haven't regretted it. The love I have for Atlantis has given me opportunities that I never would have had otherwise, and a new family in the place of what I gave up to be here.
If I'm lonely, it's a loneliness of my own choosing, and I'm willing to acknowledge that. I've said previously that I have been a lot of things in Atlantis -- "lover" is not among the titles that I can claim in this city. A relationship, at the moment, isn't on my agenda. This isn't to say that I haven't considered it -- or would never change my mind, in what I'd hope would be the right circumstances -- but rather that at the moment, I'm content with the life I lead, and the level of intimacy I share with the people in that life.
I try not to be cynical about love, but in my line of work, I have to be practical. Someone wanting to be involved with me would have to understand that I must put the city ahead of my personal feelings and private life. I make decisions in Atlantis that I can't afford to let be affected by how I might feel personally. I can't and won't say that I'm wholly objective -- nobody is. I can, even having said that, say that I have to try to be. It's part of my job. In Atlantis, I'm always on duty. When your workplace is your home, you don't have much of a choice about that.
I hope to one day get my dog back.