How the hell do I know? I used to want to be something more than I was and I became the slayer (one of the chosen two but this ain’t about B)
Used to want to belong and found myself taking up with the one person who’d have me. That didn’t turn out well.
Then I wanted to be anyone else. Hell I figured at the end of the day the problem must’ve been me and if switching things up put me back on top then I’d be five by five.
Funny what jail and the destruction of a hellmouth does for wants like that.
So now I get it. Don’t worry about the long run, just get through day by day and make sure you stay on top.