Allen Walker; Exorcist of the Black Order (belovedclown) wrote in voicesinmyhead, @ 2007-08-24 18:34:00 |
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Current mood: | peaceful |
Prompt #10 - My life would be much easier if...[open]
There was no way in my opinion for my life to have been any easier. But I guess not having an innocence and being born with it would have made things less painful. I would have been accepted by my birth parents and never met Mana. That wouldn't have been my life. It would have been a fleeting thing Akuma could have ruined and begun another cycle of tragedy with.
I would never have met those I care about. As I said before that wouldn't have been me. It would have possibly been easier if I had never met Tiki Mick when he was among humans playing poker and being humane. It would have been far easier if we just played poker and nobody died. But people have died, its a war. There's blood on the streets even if society can't see it. If I had never become part of the history no history book would ever see and the truth of my existence would be within the pages of a clan's logs that are dedicated to that, my life would be easier.
If I had decided to turn away from my weapon after losing it and being dead, my life would have been easier. If I didn't discover that deep down in my soul, I love the tragic souls trapped in the Akuma, my life would have been easier.
Because lies are easier. Its easier to live a farce and tell yourself its simpler. Its harder to face the truth and keep walking on despite of that. But there's a freedom to it. I am an Exorcist, a living weapon of the Black Order. There is no other pathway I as a free minded individual for my own reasons could take. Not because I have promises to keep, or that I feel obligated to fight as many battles as I can. But because its my choice, my childish desire to save everything with my own two hands. I know its a dream, a childish wish, but its what gives me the strength to fight and keep going.
Humans don't fight just for the sake of fighting. We need reasons and desires to develop the will to defend our way of life. It doesn't matter which sid eof a war you're on, this holds true to both. If my enemy can no longer fight anymore, I'm not going to attack anymore. I'm not the only one with people waiting for me to return home. Maybe I'm still clinging to fantasies, but that's me view. Call me a devil or a fool all you like, it will never change me.