No, I wished he was because I was harboring feelings for him for longer than is probably healthy, but the two of us up to the point I'm from haven't managed to actually be anything because he doesn't feel like it's okay to put me in danger or okay for him to have someone and be happy. And Derek in the equation now makes everything more complicated because I genuinely like him too. And I know it's not really anybody's business and some people would probably find this dilemma ridiculous because Derek, apparently, finds me attractive too, but I have a way of complicating even some of the simplest of things and I don't really have any other option but to share right now despite trying to hide my pen, throw it, and everything else. I'm usually just even more chatty when I'm drunk, though, sometimes it does make me sleepy too.