InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "If you break his heart"

so_impressive (so_impressive) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-08-02 20:12:00

Entry tags:

!complete, day 17, jack harkness, location: in town, the doctor (nine), the doctor (ten)

Who: The Ninth Doctor, the Tenth Doctor, & Jack Harkness
What: Insight, mourning and questions.
Where: The town-- they'll be moving as they talk.
When: Day 17; About 8:25pm
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete

It was likely that Ten had wanted to be alone after the murder of his friends Ianto, Sarah Jane, Shannon, and Remy LeBeau.. In fact, Nine knew it would be so. And he, really, wanted to be alone too. He'd left Rose in the care of the werewolf child, which he knew Ten would hate, but he was sure she'd be safe there. The damage had been done for the day. And Nine had started out about the town, not to find time for himself.. but rather, to find himself. He wanted to discuss Sarah Jane. He'd known she was here, he'd talked with her over the journals. But he hadn't met with her. He'd known Jack was here, and he'd avoided him, too. He'd avoided them all. Less for his own sanity, and more for theirs. When this was all over, he was gone. It was done. Why get them all confused and tangled up about it? This regeneration was done. Best to let it die.

But he'd found that he simply couldn't, and he'd written that message to Jack, telling him to meet him at the clock tower around nine. He had half an hour to talk with himself, get things straight and settled, then go back for Jack. You had half an hour to get yourself together, Doctor, and help the people who needed you. You were lucky to even get that. If he knew himself, and he liked to think he knew himself well, he'd definitely be alone somewhere. Somewhere familiar.

The drawing had shown that ginger and Ten in the barn, so that was where the Time Lord headed, his mind still lingering on thoughts of Sarah Jane. His beautiful Sarah Jane.

He stepped into the barn a moment later, hands hanging limply at his sides. When had he gotten so in the habit of pushing his hands into his jacket pockets? He'd seen Ten do that nearly every time he'd spoken with him. Hm.

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fromgallifrey
2009-08-03 12:50 pm UTC (link)

They'd spent their day in the tunnel. The Doctor had climbed out of that tunnel with the brothers Winchester and he hadn't even bothered to close the trap door. There was nothing down there. Nothing. Just a bunch of tunnels with locked doors he couldn't hope to open, food wrappers, and the smell of smoke. There was a maze under their feet; a maze they didn't have any hope of being able to navigate well enough to find their friends; or at this point the bodies of their friends.

People had seen it. They'd seen those bodies go limp and die. And while this place was notorious for playing the game of 'just kidding!' with each passing moment the hope of his friends returning became more and more bleak. It made the Doctor's stomach turn. He'd seen what had been going on in each of those monitors. He knew what happened to his friends. He may not have seen their terminal moments; but, he had a pretty good idea. And that idea made his head spin.

Sitting on the edge of that blasphemous couch, the Doctor sat with his head in his hands. Nobody would come out and find him here. Nobody ever came out here save he and Remy. And lately, it'd just been Remy. He was thinking of Shannon. Thinking of how hopeful she'd been when he told her he'd get her out. He'd failed her. He was thinking Ianto and those nasty thoughts he had about him - he didn't even know if half of them were true. Bloody Torchwood. Of course there was Sarah Jane and her smile. That was the most difficult thing to ignore. His wonderful Sarah Jane. Your Doctor couldn't save you this time, could he?

So those thoughts swirled around the Doctor's head fitful and angry. He couldn't save them. He kept telling people he would and he could and he didn't. For now he despaired a little; but soon that sadness would turn to rage.

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so_impressive
2009-08-04 03:15 pm UTC (link)

"I watched her, on the telly. Be beaten to death." Came that too-familiar voice, from the entrance of the barn. And the other Time Lord began coming closer then, dark shoes stepping carefully onto the wooden floorboards, carrying him ever nearer to the older Doctor sitting there on the edge of that awful, large couch-bed. "It could have been a trick, the others have said that this has happened before, that people have been seen killed before, and they've come back bright and bushy an hour later, none the worse for wear. They could be fine." But the tone of his voice said well enough that he didn't think so.

No, the Doctor thought they were dead. All of them. His beautiful, brilliant Sarah Jane.. dead in some room, left to rot. And he couldn't save her. He couldn't save any of them. Neither of him could. What good was he? Two Doctors, and absolutely no way to save anyone? They'd failed. And they'd lost Sarah Jane because of it. They'd lost all those people. And Ten had lost that Cajun.

Nine still wondered what sort of a relationship that had been. He wondered what sort of friendship. Ten had said he was a friend, but somehow Nine thought there was something else going on, but he hadn't guessed it. Not quite yet. He had his suspicions, his ideas.. but it wasn't there yet. "I told Jack to meet us at the clock tower. Get up. We'll take a walk around the town, make sure everyone's secure inside, then go meet him." A walk from the barn, completely around the outside of the town and back again, would lead them right into the clock tower. It was the perfect turn around the town.

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fromgallifrey
2009-08-04 09:53 pm UTC (link)

He had his specs on. He hadn't bothered to take them off since he'd been looking through his journal which now laid beside him. He was thinking and his glasses helped him think. Just like tapping his feet helped him think. Just like not breathing helped him think. Nothing was going to help him think right now, and certainly that familiar voice from in front of him wasn't helping him think, either.

"I didn't see," John Smith replied quietly. "They could be." He said quietly. He knew they could be. What bothered him most of all that he couldn't do a damned thing about any of it. He couldn't find the rooms they were in. He couldn't make Jenny give it all up. He couldn't break the glass. He couldn't do anything. He looked up to catch the other Time Lord's eye. Can you read that look, Doctor? That's the look of quiet restraint because this other version of you is boiling on the inside.

Soundlessly he pushed himself up. He wanted to make a quip about being bossy, or about not particularly wanting to go for a walk; instead, he just gave in. He had too many other things clogging up his thoughts that the last thing he really needed to do was get in a fight with himself over who was more stubborn.

"Fine," he was already walking with languid strides out of the barn. Sorry, Doctor, John Smith is feeling a bit quiet at the moment.

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so_impressive
2009-08-04 10:01 pm UTC (link)

"They could be." He agreed once again, but he let it end there, because he'd seen that look, he knew it well, and he was turning and waiting for John to come up along his side before he began to walk as well, following him out of the barn, then taking a few longer strides to once again walk beside him instead of behind him. If was just his nature, he couldn't walk behind someone.. not even himself. Call it arrogance or pride or loneliness, he just attributed it to wanting to walk beside someone. That's all. He read no further into it.

And as they made their way outside and away from the wooden structure, onto the road, and towards the town, the younger version would speak up again, not really so much for the other Time Lord's benefit.. but for his own. "If they're still alive, they'll be back tonight." Since last time this happened (so he'd heard), everyone had come back hours later. Well, those hours had passed.. that time was up. If they didn't arrive soon, even the Doctors would have to give them up for dead. "If not, tomorrow we go on as usual." Tonight was their time to grieve. Well, the next half an hour, anyway. Because then they'd be meeting up with Jack, and they would have to focus on him and his needs, instead of their own. That was just what the Doctor did, no matter how old he got, he would always put someone else ahead of himself. Always.

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fromgallifrey
2009-08-04 10:09 pm UTC (link)

He knew they could be. There was hope, always hope. He could hold to that hope, right? He could feel it in the back of his mind that strongest thing in the entire universe: hope. He could sense it and touch it and taste it. There could still be hope for his friends.

When Nine came up to walk beside him he understood. Of course it made sense to him that he wouldn't follow well. Ten didn't follow well, either. He might bide his time at the back of the line, but only because he was taking score, and then then he wouldn't be there for long.

"Enough," the Doctor responded quietly to Nine's reminder that if they were coming back they'd be back tonight. He knew. He knew that all too well. He knew they'd be back before dawn or not at all. "We always go on, Doctor." Hands were pushing into his pockets as that road continued on it's merry way. John Smith looked at his shoes as they walked.

"Where's Rose?" Change the subject, Time Lord.

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so_impressive
2009-08-04 10:16 pm UTC (link)

"She's with the werewolf boy. I think they're at the museum. We split up." Right after you'd told him to stay with her and he'd agreed. "She needed some time to think." No, Time Lord, you'd needed some time to think. Some time to grieve alone, silently, and wish for better things. Some time to think about what might happen, what could happen. Try to put it all into perspective. You had to keep them safe, keep the rest of them safe. That was your mission, Doctor. He thought best when he was alone and undisturbed.

So why had he come to find himself?

"Jack's taking the loss of those people hard. Is it any particular one, or just all of them in general?" Because he wanted his questions answered, wanted to know what he could do to fix a broken friend.