InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "My Mama didn't raise no fool."

Jenny Schecter (dont_f_withme) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-07-24 00:28:00

Entry tags:

!dropped, day 16, jenny schecter, l lawliet, location: carnival

Day 16: 11:00PM
Who: Jenny Schecter & OTA
What: Jenny's drinking again -- unfortunately
Where: The road near the Carnival
When: Day 16: 11PM
Rating: Rish I guess, she's drinking and probably going to cuss
Status: Active

Jenny had been writing poetry all day. She'd also been drinking. One of those stashed bottles of vodka. It made her fingers tremble but they'd been non-stop moving in her writing book. They were smudged with ink and aching. It was exhausting and she felt like she'd cried instead of written. So many emotions had been set to paper about a few people that day that she was just sort of ready to head back to her room and fall into the cot she'd stolen from the gym.

It had been her hope to run into the people she'd been writing about all day but she hadn't seen a one. What did it matter? At least she hadn't been yanked for some horrible experiment. The worst that had happened was she'd awakened with a note saying she'd be exposed soon. So what? L had said he would die for her. It wouldn't come to that. He was her only ally right now though, wasn't he? Even if he had Laura to think of. She spoke with Shannon sometimes but there was too much going on to claim a friendship, right? Jenny was pretty much all alone. Maybe that suited her now.

Turning around, she started back toward the Theater. The sound of her poetry book dropping was lost to her in the soughing of a soft wind. Oblivious of her loss, she walked on.

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inmyownworld
2009-08-04 07:03 pm UTC (link)

L couldn't have asked for a better moment or a better kiss, and any guilt he might have felt was completely forgotten. L had incredible control over his own mind, and since he had resolved to make this perfect, he was able to focus entirely on that objective. Even though they were standing close to each other, Jenny was keeping her hands still, and L did the same. He had asked for a kiss. To ask for more would not only be unfair, it would be irresistible to both of them.

Part of L loved to be a part of something more powerful than he was, something uncontrollable, unpredictable, and overwhelming. When Jenny told him, with piercing clarity and heartbreaking frankness, that he was destroying her, it shook him to the core. To know that he had that kind of power over another human being, someone so important to him, no less, made him realize that he felt exactly the same way. Even if they were tearing each other apart, it couldn't be anything but good.

"I don't know what love is..." L said quietly. "It's difficult to define, and even harder to understand... but I heard, once, the words 'love is watching someone die.' I am so glad to have met you. I am glad to have kissed you. I am glad to trust you. And I would watch you die, if it came to that. I would watch until the bitter end." the words were every bit as honest as Jenny's confession. He remembered the earthquake, and feeling that the end was near, and wishing and crying and praying for Laura to return, to do him that small honor, to watch him die when no one else in the world knew him well enough for it to mean anything. L was trying, the best way he knew how, to say that he loved Jenny.

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dont_f_withme
2009-08-04 09:21 pm UTC (link)

Eyes slightly wide, Jenny attempted to look into his. She was near overload but managing to stay in control of herself. A feat in and of itself really considering her innate impulsiveness. Her fingers twisted into the hem of her dress to keep from touching him.

"I don't think there is just one definition of love. I think every person designs their own meaning and intent where love is concerned. It's complicated and multi-layered and intensely unique. Changing all the time or remaining constant…"

She had begun rambling and suddenly felt foolish because his words had been so beautiful and touching but she hadn't been able to think of something equally important to reply. So she closed her mouth and watched him, willing her breathing to calm and settle into a normal rhythm again.

She had understood what L was saying on several levels. It was a more exact understanding than his words could impress on her. The problem with putting emotions into words meant they got somewhat lost in translation. But the look in his eyes and what she'd felt when his lips had touched hers had spoken volumes. More so than she was sure she willing to accept though she certainly returned it in equal measure. It still came back to the fact that he wasn't hers that way and then there was also the fact they hadn't known each other very long in this life.

It was all so confusing to her and even though the kiss had ended, she still felt it and still ached to put her arms around him, lay her head on his shoulder and simply be there with him like that. Not think about dying though she had been more than willing to watch him in those hours they'd been in the gym before the miraculous recovery. She would have stayed by his side until the end and long after. Or as long as she was able considering it seemed as though their connection meant they'd both die.

"I hope love can also be watching someone live," she said softly.

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