InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "yes yes i will yes"

Jenny Schecter (dont_f_withme) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-06-30 15:41:00

Entry tags:

!dropped, day 13, jenny schecter, l lawliet, location: pharmacy/liquor store

Who: Jenny Schecter & L (Open to Laura possibly later on)
What: Walking, looking for Laura
When: Day 13: Mid-morning
Where: Pharmacy/Liquor store
Rating: PG-13ish for now (Jenny & her language...)
Status: Active

Jenny had been walking with her nose in the book for what seemed like hours. Whenever she talked with L, in whatever form it came, the conversation always felt like it was all-absorbing. She'd never known anyone who could engage her so completely the way he did. It was at once both terrifying and comfortable. How those two opposite emotions could co-exist, Jenny wasn't sure. The only thing she did know was she wanted to be sure she didn't fuck it up somehow.

Arriving at the pharmacy, she glanced up almost dazedly from the book and shut it. She tucked the journal into the small bag she'd found in the Thrift Shoppe. White and yellow stripes with cartoon ducklings dancing across the front was as good as it got in that place. She lamented, briefly, the lack of Rodeo Drive in this place. Though thinking about material comforts right now felt shallow.

This was not about being shallow now. She had to toughen up considerably if she was going to survive here. She wondered where Remy was then. When she'd talked to him she'd felt tough enough to handle this place. He brought out something feral and strong in her. She was disappointed he hadn't tried to find her yet in the journals or in person. But it was just as well. The Insider was no more. He was keeping her secret. That was all that mattered, wasn't it?

Quietly, Jenny pushed the door of the pharmacy open and slid inside. If Laura was indeed here, she didn't want to startle the other woman. If L was coming, she wasn't going to wait outside for him. She wanted to talk to Laura alone for a few minutes if she could. Talk some sense into the woman. For in Jenny's mind there just wasn't a way someone could be angry with L. Just couldn't be. Not after the way she'd seen him in the gym with his injuries, needing morphine so badly.

"Hello?" she called out. "Laura?" She picked her way through one of the aisles, eying the bottles of liquor with disinterest. "It's me, Jenny. Can we talk?"

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inmyownworld
2009-07-18 04:48 pm UTC (link)

Sadly, L was not an emotionally perceptive person, and no bond could change that. Had he been able to read Jenny like an open book, he would have started and demanded that they sort through this, embraced her, assured her that he couldn't not take this seriously. Because, he was taking it every bit as seriously as she was.

"I am happy..." L said, a crease in his brow, as if he was almost sure that he was, but not quite. "I'm definitely happy. More so than I have been in a long time." he studied Jenny's smile. There was something odd about it, distant, sad... though perhaps it was because of the fact that they were discussing the beautiful, sad stories that critics adored and most other people could only read once without their hearts breaking.

"Would you rather be happy, or win awards?" L asked, taking another napkin and busily destroying it with restless fingers.

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dont_f_withme
2009-07-19 04:14 am UTC (link)

Jenny smiled as L said he was happy. It was what she was supposed to do, right? She wiped at her eyes with the napkins he'd handed her, clearing her vision of tears and delusions all with a continued smile. She could do this. Yes. It was all swept under the rug and tied up in a tidy little package of forgotteness. When Jenny gave up the hope, it was done. It took a lot for her mind to be changed again.

"I would rather win awards," she answered and laughed lightly amidst a rustle of napkins. She watched his fingers ripping and mutilating the napkins he held and wondered what drove him to do that. It almost made her want to reach out and take his hand, guide it to some better employment. But what? And how could she touch him without feeling that tide of emotions and the reminder of loss? She couldn't. So she remained passive.

"Winning awards would mean I was important. Successful. I reached an audience enough to touch them somehow. That's the ultimate goal for me as a writer. What would you like to do most in this world, L? I mean, um, besides be the most talented detective there ever was. Or is making Sherlock Holmes pale in comparison your lifetime goal?"

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inmyownworld
2009-07-23 12:02 am UTC (link)

In truth, L destroyed things with his hands when he felt at a loss to create. His heart hurt, for many reasons, and he could think of many ways his hands could be more happily occupied, but as it was, the napkins were all that was keeping him from allowing one hand to tear at the other. The skin, the nails... it was childish. Compulsive, pathetic, self-destructive... like Jenny, he knew what he wanted, but was too afraid and too ashamed to say what it was.

"I can think of many authors, esteemed in their fields and the literary world, who died alone and unhappy," L said, with a sad smile. "Most in this world... I'd like..." he faltered.

I want to be a dad. I want a family. I don't want to die alone like so many have in this place.

"I guess... I want..." L shook his head restlessly. "What could I possibly want? I have a soul mate, and this place isn't as bad as it used to be... maybe... a cake," he decided. "Like my mom made a long time ago. I'd give a lot for a warm chocolate cake with white-mountain frosting."

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	<< Bumping this over dont_f_withme 2009-07-23 08:43 pm UTC (link)
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