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Laura Moon (spitandviolets) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-06-18 19:40:00

Entry tags:

!dropped, day 11, laura moon, location: forest, location: gym, open, rorschach

Who: Laura Moon and OTA
What: Dealing with being half the woman she used to be
Where: The forest edge, near-ish to the gym
When: Night; sometime after 9:00pm
Rating: TBD
Status: Active

Laura Moon could no longer feel pain. It was as simple as that. She could no longer feel hunger, nor could she know fatigue. Her body kept going due to magic, and, as she'd learned the previous day, it could keep going under the most extraordinary of circumstances. Not quite half of it, at this very moment, was missing. The dripping had stopped simply because there was nothing left, no formaldehyde inside of her to keep her fresh and make her rot more slowly. The staples that had held her right arm on at the shoulder were still in her flesh, but they stuck out like jagged spikes, the last remnants of a phantom limb. Somewhere, Laura could sense her arm out there. Like the rest of her, it was still able to move, still able to function. Her body, after all, could be completely dismembered and she would still exist. It stood to reason, then, that her hand was out there, grasping idly into the nothingness that it was trapped under, following instinct. It was an arm; its job was to move. Something gray was visible inside of her, just inside the large hole that was in her abdomen from ribcage to hip, and it seemed squelchy and moist. She was lucky, though, that it wasn't as hot today. It gave her a little more borrowed time.

Feeling anguish was not feeling pain. It was more complicated, as she was learning, and her anguish, over the course of the day while she had hidden in the woods outside of the gym, had grown exponentially. When you were dead and dealt in truths, realizations came upon you in the quiet spaces where other people remembered to breathe. What she had realized was the bleak nature of her situation, courtesy of Gambit and L. As the Sex Pistols had once told her, "there's no future, no future for you." And there really was no future for Laura, not physically, and she wasn't sure how long she could hold on mentally. How could she stand and watch her own body disappear? What would she look like as a skeleton? What would being incorporeal be like? She would never touch L again, never feel warmth from him. She would watch the world, maybe be a ghost, and it would forget her even though she was standing right there.

L had already started.

The Night Watch, though, still needed to persist. She had no idea how many people were still existing, but she would guard them as best as she could in her damaged state. Mrs. Moon was a black shadow along the treeline, keeping watch over the gym. She didn't want anyone inside to see her, but she also wanted a good vantage point, and this was as good as she was getting. Leaning against a tree, she let her remaining arm hang by her side. Her eyes, both of which were open but one socket was completely empty, gazed up at the sky, and she bathed in the moonlight that she could not feel. She was pale and lovely from the left except for that hole, but the right was mauled beyond belief.

And, as she stood there, she realized that she wanted to die. Grabbing the coin from inside of her bra, she clenched her teeth and threw it on the ground as hard as she could. It made a dull plop and then it sat there, glimmering like platinum in the moonlight, mocking her with its perfectly whole shape, its purity. She would never be pure again. Time was ticking out. Would it be nobler to just give it up, to call it quits, to say that it all didn't matter anymore? It would. She was a burden, and it would only get worse. The residents might as well stick her on a post to keep the crows away from the garden; at least then she would have a purpose. Her body slid down the harsh bark of the tree, and she curled into herself. She glared at the coin, looking small, feeling hopeless and alone. And the whole while his face was in her mind, burning there like the coin. That was why she was still standing, even after tossing the object that cursed and blessed her to the ground. He was her weakness. He was her soul. And she would never leave him until the light drained from his eyes and the breath fled from his lips, even if she would never hold him again.

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walters_journal
2009-06-18 08:19 pm UTC (link)

Stepping out into the night, Rorschach had not forgotten his duties. He knew that his partner, Merope, was inside the gym sleeping, recovering from her near-death experience, but he needed to get away from the stifling fear and pain in the enclosed space. There were people in there, including the young man Merope had kissed the day before. Rorschach remembered him from the first Night Watch meeting, the one with the lost expression who stood by Laura's side. Rorschach had watched impassively as Merope had given him the affectionate gesture, without judgment or jealousy. At the time, it had looked like the boy wouldn't survive the night, and Rorschach suspected that he was far from in the clear.

Wearing his mask and shoving his hands in the pockets of his coat, Rorschach breathed deeply. The night air was the best kind, in his opinion. It was never still, the way Rorschach never was. Even when he was poised motionless on top of a building, the muscles of his face spasmed and twitched under his mask. He was a restless soul.

As he approached the forest, however, a glint of moonlight on gold caught his eye. He bent, picking up a heavy, perfect coin, before glancing in the direction of a tree nearby. He instantly recognized Laura, curled at the roots, and he approached her silently.

"Found something. Must have lost it," he said, dropping the coin close to her body. He stood, hulking, clumsier in conversation than the man who was currently in Laura's thoughts. "Is not a good night. People still injured, either getting better or worse. Some could pass at any time. My partner, Merope, fortunately doing well."

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spitandviolets
2009-06-18 10:30 pm UTC (link)

She heard him coming, but she made no motion to react. When she focused on the soul, since her eyesight was no longer very good, she knew at once who it was. His light always flickered and changed, and it reminded her of his mask, like an inkblot test. She liked him, though everybody else assumed he was a freak or a pervert. She'd often thought that the freaks and the perverts needed to stick together; therefore, they had excellent company in each other. But he wasn't a pervert. He hated most women, and he hated rule breakers, and he hated debauchery and other things that led to the corruption of society. While Hitler had probably hated many of these things, Laura was convinced that only a good man at heart could be as dedicated to them as Rorschach was. She trusted him with her life. No, more importantly, if something ever happened to her, she would trust him with L. He and Sarah could take care of him efficiently. She supposed she needed to start making arrangements for that.

If there was one person she knew for a fact wouldn't let her end it all if he had any say in the matter, though, it was Rorschach. He didn't seem the type who would allow somebody to kill herself. He'd call her a coward, say something to the effect of "not good for Night Watch image. Leader needed. You are leader. Stop feeling sorry for self," and kick her in the ass to make her do her job.

Well, then, if he needed evidence that she was doing her job and with her whole heart, she would give it to him. Grabbing the coin, she slipped it back into its place in her bra. Instead of in the soft, supple cleavage that she usually had it stored in, though, it was placed on the outer left side of her breast, closer to her remaining armpit. If he watched, he'd find that it was very strange to watch a woman put something inside the left side of her bra with her left arm. Pushing herself up, using most of her superhuman speed and strength, she displayed what remained of herself before him. She tilted her head, the moonlight catching the gaping, empty eye socket on the right side. There was absolutely nothing like her left arm hanging on the right side of her body. Her clothes were still slashed up, but she had pulled off the bits of skin and muscle that were hanging from her body. Leaving them would have been classless.

"Good," she started, "good for her." What else was she supposed to say? She didn't dislike her enough to bad mouth her to anyone other than L, whom she felt free to speak about things with. Or she had felt that way. She didn't know if she'd ever speak to him again. "I'm glad she's well. My partner, L, is touch and go. It isn't really appropriate for me to go in there looking like this. No one will get well seeing me like this. I'm keeping to the shadows from now on." From now on. Until she was incorporeal. Because her existence was going to be an ugly, messy downward spiral. "I'm sure he'll be fine, though. He always turns out all right. You'll look after him for me, won't you? He's friends with your partner, yeah? You three should get along well."

Her voice was soft, far off. She obviously wasn't talking about him just going in to see L and report back to her. "But if I can't help in there, I'll help out here," she said, motioning to the forest. "I'll become the guardian of the woods or something. That way I won't be a bother to anyone. I'll be the best member of the Night Watch yet." She flashed him a sad, hopeless smile. It did not reach her eye the way that her usual ones did. "Ever vigilant. Soon, for me, it will always be night."

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walters_journal
2009-06-18 11:48 pm UTC (link)

Rorschach would have been pleased to hear that he was an inkblot down to the light that represented his soul. Certainly, nothing of Walter remained in him. He stood for justice and fought for what was right, even if others sometimes didn't understand what those things were.

It was impossible to tell whether Rorschach was looking directly at her as she bent her arm to put the coin in her bra, with only the impassively shifting spots on his mask to indicate any sort of expression. If he thought that she looked ghastly, he didn't speak or think on it. He had seen bodies before. He understood decay and he understood sorry. They lived in the dark places in every city, even small ones inside glass boxes.

"Is very good," He agreed, nodding briskly. "Merope is partner. Would not want her to die; would be terrible to lose partner. Not touch and go; is too bad about L. Maybe will be fine, but like Merope. Not strong... probably doesn't care if partner does not look best. Was crying for you before. Thought no one heard. Misses you." he tilted his head. "No time, with Night Watch, to take care of other people's partners. You understand."

Rorschach did comprehend her full meaning, and all that she implied, but as Laura had predicted, he didn't tolerate it. "Are only bother when lying in heaps under trees," he said gruffly. "Person could trip and break leg while you're here. Bad things could happen. Partner could die. World never stops moving, city never sleeps. Danger everywhere, in this city. Terrible place to give up." he lowered himself until he was sitting beside Laura, leaning his head against the trunk of the tree. He smelled strongly of aftershave.

"Only night if sometimes day."

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spitandviolets
2009-06-19 12:01 am UTC (link)

Luckily, Laura could not smell. The past few days would have wrecked havoc on her nose if she'd been able. Fortunately, she could not, so all was well. Rorsch could have been a masked bottle of aftershave and she would not have noticed or even batted an eyelash.

"Partners can die, that's true," she said, sliding back down the tree to sit next to him. It was nice, knowing that even if he was staring at her and wanting to vomit that she wouldn't know due to the mask. Her arm wrapped around her legs, hugging them to her chest. "Not much use to my partner anymore, to be honest. I've got one arm and one eye. Not a whole lot that I can do in a fight. I could go out to face another cougar, but somebody else would have to do the killing. Only thing I'd do well right now is be a chew toy."

She smirked at that. She had a very dark sense of humor, even to the last. She was at her breaking point, so everything seemed hysterical, especially when it was ironic. Looking over at him, Laura laughed bitterly. "You know, you probably shouldn't be here. I, apparently, will flirt with just about anything male. Remember how I said I was a whore and all that? Old habits die hard. L won't be crying out for me anymore once he's coherent and lucid and not on morphine. He'll realize that he's crazy to stay with the dead woman. Especially since, sooner rather than later, I'll be gone. My boat is sinking."

Gone, when she thought about it, was relative. She would be...disgusting. Wretched. Her flesh would continue to fall from her bones, and her insides would liquefy. She'd have parts that didn't look anything like Laura Moon anymore. They would be identifiable only as a skeleton. The part that really pained her was the idea of losing her face.

"I'm scared," she confessed to him. And that was the truth. She felt so many things, yet she felt nothing. She'd given up, for this was all inevitable truth. If only she'd been out, if she hadn't been in the pharmacy when the quake it. If only she could remember if her Norn water was inside of her box or inside of the makeshift bag that she had. If it was in the bag, it was probably ruined. If it was in the box, there was a chance that it was safe. There was also a chance, though, that the whole place had gone up in flames. There had been an awful lot of fumes in there. Just one sip and the nightmare would be over. Her body would be more than beautiful; for twenty-four hours, Laura Moon would be as alive as she ever could. She would be on death's door, in the process of crossing over, slowly dying. And she and L would have nothing to worry about for a while, and she'd be super strong and super fast. The chances of her finding the water intact, though, were slim.

"I bet you can't really relate, though, can you?" He was right. It was a rotten place to give up. Shadow wasn't here so she couldn't say goodbye forever, and L needed her, but she'd be having to go. "I might make a nice doorstop," she offered. She was trying to make herself not feel so useless.

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walters_journal
2009-06-19 12:48 am UTC (link)

It wasn't very often that L was around people who not only reserved judgment, but weren't offended by his odor or words. Laura's tolerant apathy was Rorschach's saving grace; it wasn't like Merope's adoration and clear love, but simple acceptance.

"People die every day. Point of partners to protect, to keep that from happening. Duty and sacrifice to preserve life in world of death." he paused thoughtfully. "Maybe crazy to be with dead woman. Difficult to imagine. But can't think that you're a whore; probably likes you because has never seen sacrifice; has never been object of devotion. Has never met person willing to give up everything for him." he shrugged a shoulder, unsure how to end the thought, and deciding to let it hang.

"Is true. Can't relate. Am not dead, or dying. Do not have person willing to give up life in death for me. Am not drowning in self pity and despair. Never do." he stood. "Should get back to boy who loves you. Will be happy to see you. Can walk with me; don't mind."

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