InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I wanted to be a Jedi!"

Dean Winchester (hellsboy) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-05-17 17:35:00

Entry tags:

!complete, day 08, dean winchester, location: museum, shannon rutherford

Day 8: Mid-Afternoon
Who: Dean Winchester & Shannon Rutherford
What: Dean is worried Shannon might be alone
When: Mid-Afternoon
Where: The Museum
Rating: R (there will be language as always)
Status: Complete

Dean was seriously concerned for Shannon being alone and after he'd made sure Luna and Tonks were safe, he had made a bee-line for the museum to make sure she was safe as well. It didn't seem like he could move fast enough, his feet felt like lead and everything went in slow motion it seemed when you were cold, tired and working against the wind.

He was out of breath but at least he wasn't as cold as he had been yesterday. He pulled the collar of the coat up around his throat and entered the museum as fast as he could without tripping over half-numb feet. He'd been everywhere all over town today it seemed. It was hardly the middle of the day yet and he was exhausted but it was a good feeling to be so tired. He knew he would sleep like the dead and that was what he needed tonight.

Eyes searching the rooms, he headed down a hall to the left, calling for Shannon because he had no idea where she might have blocked herself in. He couldn't remember if she'd said she was where she slept so he headed there first. Knocking on the door to where he remembered her sleeping, he called her name. "Hey, Shannon, are you still here?"

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ballerinadreams
2009-05-17 05:34 pm UTC (link)

Shannon was raw. Exhausted and completely drained, she'd taken to curling up in the fetal position on the floor, her journal open and beside her as she huddled on the floor, wrapped in the blanket left from two mornings previous. From the sounds of things, someone pretending to be the Doctor - fairly well and obviously successfully - had had breakfast with her and Dean had come for lunch with she and Sam, only to deny it later.

As if that weren't enough, there was new handwriting in the journal which had logged everyone's names and marked them with letters that seemed to mean nothing and everything all at once. When she'd commented, thinking it was a stupid joke, the words that had reflected back at her had rocked and frightened her to the core. It stood to reason that the messages had come from the person or people who had put them all here. It also stood to reason that they had Sayid. She couldn't think of any other way that they would've known the things they'd known; how exactly to push her buttons and break her down.

So when the museum got quiet and Domeki said he was going out, unsure whether she was still in silent company or completely alone, she'd asked Dean to come. The wait seemed like forever. She'd barricaded the door with a heavy glass and wooden display of dusty clay sculptures when he'd asked her to lock herself in and the minutes dragged by seeming like hours before she heard a knock on the door and Dean's muffled voice.

Taking a deep, shaking breath, Shannon got to her feet. "Yeah, I'm in here," she answered in a watery voice, using the sleeve of her hoodie to wipe the tears from her face. She made no move to push away the barricade. He'd told her not to let him in without a specific phrase and she was neither going to disregard the advice nor ask for the phrase. If it was really Dean, he would know and he would say it. She was certain.

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hellsboy
2009-05-17 05:48 pm UTC (link)

He'd been so busy in the rough and tumble of the past few hours that he'd almost forgotten what he'd told Shannon in the journals about a password. It took a moment for it to dawn on him why he didn't hear anything large and heavy being moved away from the door or the door opening either. He rolled his eyes at himself for forgetting something so important and because this whole situation was just completely ridiculous. This person who had written the list in the journals was a psychotic bastard and if he ever got the chance to get his hands on that guy... Well it wouldn't be pretty.

"Shannon, there are moose tracks in the snow outside," he said somewhat quietly, hoping she could hear him but that no one else would be able to. He didn't want anyone knowing he was using passwords and codes to make sure people stayed safe. Who knew what those fucking clones could pick up on if they knew about his mother and the stupid pink sweatshirt he was wearing.

He felt a sudden pang of anticipation in the pit of his stomach. It had been a few days since he'd seen her and in the rush of everything that had been happening and the craziness all around them, he hadn't stopped to think about what it was going to be like to see her again. He realized then that he couldn't wait much longer to see her and hoped she would open the door soon.

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ballerinadreams
2009-05-17 06:02 pm UTC (link)

For a moment, it was quiet on the other side and Shannon found that she was holding her breath without realizing it, waiting for the word and terrified that the person on the other side of the door wouldn't know what to say it. And that, when she refused to let them in, they'd force their way. She hiccuped slightly as she struggled not to let out a sob of relief when she barely heard Dean's words on the other side of the door. It was him; she would be safe now.

It took more effort than she'd remembered using the first time to try to move the stupid thing in front of the door. Fresh tears, this time of frustration, spilled down her cheeks as she grunted and pushed all of her body weight against the display. At first, it just inched with a loud scraping sound, away from the current position, and then it stuck on what Shannon could only assume was a warped and upraised floorboard. "Come on!" she screamed, pounding on the thing with her fists. "Move!"

Shannon stood back a few steps and then threw her weight against the display again, this time with her shoulder impacting and she could already feel that there was going to be a nasty bruise there sooner than later, but the display skidded forward and a few of the sculptures were knocked free of their stands, falling to the floor with dull thumps or shattering sounds. Shannon, to her credit, managed to catch herself with both hands on the floor before face-planting herself and then she scrambled back to her feet and wiped her face with the hoodie sleeve again before opening the door.

Looking up at Dean, she wanted to throw her arms around him, but she felt that she'd already done it once for the day and the thought made her feel dirty when he had said it hadn't been him that had come by earlier. So she stood still, looking back at him, trembling and wide-eyed, her skin blotchy and red from having broken down.

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hellsboy
2009-05-17 07:29 pm UTC (link)

Dean's first instinct when he heard her scream was to take action. For all he knew she could be fighting off an attacker in there and he could only think of getting in there. He started turning the door knob and throwing his weight against the door over and over again. The adrenaline coursed through him so fast that he probably could have ripped the door off its hinges right then and there if he could have gotten a good hold on it. "Shannon!" he shouted. "Shannon, are you okay?"

There was a loud sound from the other side of the door and Dean stepped back, prepared for anything to come shooting out of the opening. He stepped onto the balls of his feet, arms out defensively, as he tried to catch his breath. But all he saw when the door was thrown open was Shannon. He registered relief for himself and then the deer in the headlights expression she wore. And she was shaking.

"Oh, Shannon. I'm so sorry," he said and relaxed his body, taking a hesitant step toward her. He wasn't sure if she believed it really was him or if she believed he had played a joke on her still. He wanted to reach out and touch her face or pull her into his arms and hold her until she stopped shaking but instead he stood there, looking for some sign that she wasn't going to bolt.

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ballerinadreams
2009-05-17 07:55 pm UTC (link)

The way Dean's body had relaxed from what looked to Shannon like a defensive stance upon realizing she was alone on the other side of the door made her hiccup again. She'd seen him do that at the gym. Confident, somehow, that words and thoughts were less conscious than reflexive body language, Shannon closed her eyes in a slow blink and relaxed. The shaking didn't cease, but the fear and reservation drained from her.

She didn't move toward him nor did she move away. Moving toward him could still very well be unwelcome, she thought, but moving away would make him think she didn't believe or trust that it was really him. She moved one hand up to her aching shoulder where she'd thrown her weight against the display and didn't bother to put up the walls around herself, too tired and strung out to try.

"It's my fault," she choked out before she could stop herself. She could hear the song in her head and it made her sick to her stomach. La mer qu'on voit danser le long des golfes clairs. A des reflets d'argent. La mer des reflets changeants sous la pluie... Whether she wanted to cry again or throw up, Shannon was unsure.

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hellsboy
2009-05-17 08:19 pm UTC (link)

She looked so broken that he was not sure exactly what to do now that he had her here. He wanted to take her away with him but where? He wasn't going to take her back to the house in this state. She would be twitching and startling at every little creak and settling of the house. And he sure as hell wasn't staying here in the museum. The place was already crowded enough as far as he knew from what Shannon had said not to mention if he stayed it would just be to watch his brother protect her. He wasn't needed.

"You're fault?" he asked with his brows furrowing together. "What is your fault?" He frowned at her as she rubbed her shoulder and again fought off the urge to pull her into his arms and hold her. "They left, that's not your fault. They're idiots. I can't believe Sam wouldn't make sure you were okay. Nothing else is your fault either. You haven't done anything wrong."

He wasn't sure why he was making such a big deal of soothing her when if he hadn't known she was as scared as she looked to be he probably would have just let her stew. It felt like the asshole with his list and the clones or whatever they were made everything an extenuating circumstance and she was blameless now. Everything had rewound to the beginning for them somehow. And he wanted her to be okay more than anything else at that moment.

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ballerinadreams
2009-05-17 08:33 pm UTC (link)

Fighting the lump in her throat which she still couldn't differentiate between whether it was the urge to vomit or sob, Shannon shook her head and reached up with her free hand to wipe her eyes again when they started to brim with tears. She didn't want to cry anymore; it took more energy than she had.

Dean thought she meant that it was her fault the museum had cleared out. That very well might be, actually, but it wasn't what she'd been thinking when she'd said it. "They said Sayid's name," she hiccuped and then she closed her eyes and her face contorted in an effort not to cry. "And the fish song," she breathed. "Only Sayid knew about the fish song..." Her voice was strained and annoying to her own ears. Broken. Lost. Pathetic.

Shannon was afraid to touch him, but she took a step back away from the door and nodded for him to come inside. Shut the door and barricade it again, she thought miserably because only one other person here had seen her in this fallen apart state and even then it wasn't quite this bad. She wanted to keep it that way, because it made her look weak and that was a luxury she couldn't afford without Boone as a buffer zone.

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hellsboy
2009-05-17 09:31 pm UTC (link)

Shannon looked exactly the way Lexie had when he'd tried to save her from hypothermia. But where Lexie was smiling and pleasant, Shannon looked exhausted and lost. They were both as fragile as glass in his eyes. And he wished that he could figure out that she wanted to be touched because he wanted so badly to comfort her.

"Shannon," he said quietly. "There is no way it's your fault that some psycho asshole decided to fuck with you. That is not your fault at all." He wanted to hurt the guy who had forced her into the trembling, upset mess that he saw. He could have given her up to Sam easily when she was strong and pithy and he knew she would be fine. But now that she was broken and lost, he couldn't just stand aside and do nothing, let someone else take care of her.

He followed her slowly back into the room from which she'd come. "We should leave, Shannon. That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

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ballerinadreams
2009-05-17 09:57 pm UTC (link)

Why couldn't she wake up from this horrible nightmare? Why couldn't she go back in time and have never called Boone to come to Sydney? What if Boone had missed his flight and had to take the next plane out? Would they have gotten on Oceanic 815? And if they hadn't, would she still have somehow, for some reason, been plucked up for this place? They wouldn't have said Sayid, then. Wouldn't have mentioned the fish song. What would've been her trigger then?

Dean said it wasn't her fault that they were fucking with her and she knew that; that wasn't what she was so afraid of and it wasn't what was making her feel so guilty. It was the fact that they had Sayid, she knew it. They had to, or they'd never have known. They'd been on Craphole Island for a month, maybe more, by the time she'd been asked to help translate the French woman's maps for Sayid; before she sang the song to him when he lost his faith that she knew what she was doing because her translations sounded like gibberish. If the rescue teams couldn't find them on the Island with the plane's black box and everything, whoever these people were... It hurt to think about.

Nodding, Shannon sniffled again. "Yeah, I can't be here, it's too much. There's too many people and I..." she let her voice trail off. And I don't want anyone to know that I can't keep my shit together in the face of words on a piece of paper. She took a step toward him and then paused. Couldn't he just...hold her? Couldn't he tell that she wanted and needed it? Maybe he just didn't care because, in spite of the fact that she was clearly shattered, turnabout was fair play. She'd unintentionally blueballed him and now he had every right to withhold when she needed the comfort.

"Is it okay?" she asked quietly. "If I wanna come with you?" She didn't want to assume, after all, because not everyone everywhere was going to bend to her whims and tears just because she was Shannon. Least of all, probably, Dean and rightfully so. He left the museum in the first place to get away from her and she felt kind of badly asking to put him out in such a way.

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hellsboy
2009-05-18 08:02 am UTC (link)

Dean put out a hand as though he was going to touch her arm and then let it fall away. It had been a reflex that he hadn't been able to stop. He clenched his teeth, jaw muscles flexing in agitation as he continued to take her in. This was not right. She should not be put in a situation where every ounce of snark had been drained from her and her self-confident little chin wasn't held high.

He wanted to find Sam and drag the kid back by the scruff of his neck, make him look at Shannon like this and demand to know how he could've left her alone for a second. Of course, he had no idea what had happened that might have drawn Sam away. If someone was hurt... but seeing Shannon like this was upsetting. He was angry and there was no one real to blame.

His brows knit together again when she started and stopped her sentence. "Yes," he answered nodding. "It's more than okay if you want to come with me. Where do you want to go?"

He looked at her face, her eyes, searchingly. What he wouldn't give to see into her head right now and know exactly what she needed. He could save the day but he was never good with girls who were crying. He could really make a mess of this and he knew it but he was going to go on instinct.

So fuck it, he thought and closed the distance between them. Gently he pulled the edge of her sleeve, tugging her into him and wrapping his arms around her as carefully as if she might disintegrate should he hold her too tightly.

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ballerinadreams
2009-05-18 12:53 pm UTC (link)

Relief washed over Shannon when Dean said that it was okay and she closed her eyes, nodding just once to herself before looking back up at him. "Anywhere but here," she admitted. That, of course, extended to the whole of this God-forsaken place in which they were trapped, but she figured it would work in a specification meaning, as it stood currently, the museum.

Dean gently pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her in such a way that made her wonder if he thought she was literally going to break. Shannon closed her eyes and pressed her face against his chest, melting against him and hiccuping again as she wrapped her arms around him.

"This place is making me crazy," she sobbed even as she tried to get a hold of herself because she didn't want to keep falling apart over and over again. It had to be getting old as far as Dean's view must go. He didn't owe her anything and he was still here. Shannon couldn't understand that. She wasn't going to fight it or complain, but she simply couldn't comprehend.

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hellsboy
2009-05-18 03:29 pm UTC (link)

Anywhere but here, she said and he wanted to take her out of this fucking glass bubble but that was impossible. He thought back to her saying she was going to go traveling with the Doctor after they got out of here and realized that the image of her riding on the front seat of the Impala next to him wanted to superimpose itself over that plan. Which shocked him and he was glad she couldn't see his face because she might have thought he was reacting to her which that was the last thing he needed right now.

When she melted against him he had the fleeting thought that maybe she was going to faint and he tightened his arms around her some. But then she spoke and he knew she was fine. Well at least not passing out. That was good. Would've ruined his image of her completely.

"I know. It's fucking nuts out there. But it's quiet right now. And I'm not leaving." He gently stroked her hair with one hand, not wanting to interrupt her if she needed to cry but wanting her to know that he was still there and still not going anywhere. Not without her at least.

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ballerinadreams
2009-05-18 03:45 pm UTC (link)

Shannon felt a lot of emotions, not the least of which was relief, when Dean tightened his grip on her and stroked her hair, telling her that he wasn't leaving. Everybody leaves, the niggling voice in the back of her head reminded her. You're a burden. He just pities you. Instead of saying anything right away, she just clung to him, eyes closed and hiding her face from the world around them.

Boone had been right about her all along. She always needed someone to take care of her. Shannon was disgustingly dependent and if it wasn't one person, it was another. When Sam wasn't keeping her warm at night, there was Domeki teaching her to hunt; Dean comforting her and letting her cry. Or the Doctor, keeping her hopes high (until this morning, that was), and if not, then Jay making her smile or Locke helping her forget that everything was awful, if even just for a minute.

She didn't know what to say, because everything that came to mind sounded stupid or needy or both. And she was both of those things, but she didn't need to broadcast it, especially not to Dean. "I'm sorry," was what finally came out and she wasn't even sure what she was sorry for. The shower? The attitude she'd given him? Getting the God-awful pink sweatshirt (which normally she would've long since poked fun of) wet with her tears? ...using his feelings - which she could only assume he had since he'd been denying it - against him to get what she needed? In this case, someone to tell her that they would take care of her and she would be okay; that they wouldn't let anything happen to her. Shannon was sorry for all of those things, she supposed, because he was a good guy and he deserved better than that. But, Shannon couldn't help it. She was just built that way.

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hellsboy
2009-05-18 07:50 pm UTC (link)

When Shannon apologized, Dean wasn't exactly sure what to say. He had no idea what she could possibly have to apologize for right now. None of this was her fault and he'd told her so. But maybe she blamed herself anyway. The way she blamed herself about Sayid for whatever the reason was behind that. He struggled to keep his touch on her hair light, without a trace of the anger he felt surging through him. He wanted to rampage and do some damage right now. He wanted Lola and some fucking huge shells and a way to find the person responsible for all of this so he could shove Lola up his nose and pull the trigger. First Luna and now Shannon. Collapsing under the strain. It just kept getting worse too.

The furthest things from his mind right then were the shower and especially the damned pink sweatshirt. He had no clue she was using him either. None of it occurred to him because he was pretty sure she was just really scared and not thinking too much about what she was saying anyway. Not to mention it was good to have her in his arms even if she was crying and upset. It was good to feel needed even if he would never admit that to himself in so many words or out loud. It was probable that the fucking clone was right about him getting lonely. He would never own it.

What did hit his thoughts then was Sam again. Because this was Sam's domain and this was, for all intents and purposes, Sam's girl too. Dean was certain Sam wouldn't appreciate coming in and finding him holding Shannon. Why that mattered suddenly he didn't know because Sam had left Shannon alone and hadn't come back or bothered to try to find out if she was okay somehow. He was mad at Sam but he also felt like he was infringing on Sam's territory. So either he had to let her go and leave, even though he'd said he wasn't going to do that, or he had to take her somewhere away from the museum and soon.

"Uh, we should get moving. People will eventually start coming back soon. Unless you changed your mind about leaving?" His hand paused in her hair and he waited to hear what she had to say. Whatever she wanted, he'd knew he'd do. It was a black and white situation. No ifs, ands, or buts. Whatever Shannon needed, he would give her.

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ballerinadreams
2009-05-18 08:58 pm UTC (link)

After a few moments in Dean's arms, feeling protected and - even as a stretch - maybe even loved, Shannon slowly started to forget that it was Dean holding her at all. Just like when Sam had been hugging her the last time she'd broken down a few days ago, it felt like time shifted beneath her and it was Boone stroking her hair and giving her the comfort of his embrace. Before things had become so complicated. Before she realized that there was more to it and it wasn't just about making her feel better.

His voice broke into her thoughts, making her open her eyes again and she came back to the present. The slightly musty smell of the sweatshirt against her face made her turn her head so that her cheek was resting on his chest instead and when he stopped stroking her hair but didn't let his hand fall away from her head, she closed her eyes again, if only briefly. He deserved Little Miss Perfect, even if the thought made her stomach twist in unwarranted jealousy. Dean was still leaving the ball in her court, even though he'd gone out of his way to come to get her. Now he was giving her the choice to opt out and render his trip over a complete waste.

"Yeah, I know," she said softly and then took a shaky breath, sniffling, and letting the breath out in a huff. "I gotta get out of here. I just...I can't stay here right now," she managed. It occurred to her, as she finally pulled away from Dean - however much she didn't ever want to move - that if she was going to be a while, she ought to leave Sam a note; she promised, after the experiment with Anders, that she'd always keep Sam posted if she was going somewhere.

So, she crossed the room and picked up her journal, shoving it into the front pocket of the hoodie before making her way back to Dean and looking up at him expectantly. Wherever he was willing to take her and for however long, Shannon would leave up to him; at this point, anything, even a few minutes just outside the building, would feel like a welcome respite.

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hellsboy
2009-05-20 04:42 pm UTC (link)

Dean watched her walk across the room for her journal. He felt the loss of her; his arms wanted her back, to protect her. Something about the this felt final and not in a good way. He knew that was going to bother him so he was going to have to let it go or at least push it aside. He could deal with that later. Right now she at least wanted to go with him. Not because it was him but because he offered her a way out of the museum.

That's what I am today, Dean the Protector, he thought and inwardly rolled his eyes because he had, in one day, become exactly what he had been teasing his brother about being before. Although it hadn't been entirely necessary for Sam to protect all the girls from Dean. His head wasn't really in messing around these days. Which should have been a red flag that he was getting soft but he was choosing to ignore it. Whatever it was about Shannon that drew him, he wanted more.

"Okay, let's hit the road, Private Pretty. We should stop at the gas station for some supplies like water if there's any left. If not we can melt snow. I got some skunky beer that I'm sure will taste much better once we let it sit in the snow a little while." Why the fuck was he rambling like a nervous teenager? Why the fuck was he talking like they were a we and "we" was going back to the house? No, that would not work at all. He hadn't checked all of the rooms - the thing had way too many - or the grounds well enough. He couldn't bring Shannon back there.

And what would Sam think? No, Sam would never understand that at all. Clearing his throat, he ran a hand up the back of his hair and said, "Feel like camping out in one of the gym offices? I wanted to go through some of the journals you saw in there and see if there's anything in them that could help me figure out anything about the stupid fucker with his lists."

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ballerinadreams
2009-05-21 11:11 am UTC (link)

In spite of her current state, Shannon offered Dean a small smile in response to being called Private Pretty. He couldn't be too mad at her still if he kept calling her that. The way he was talking sounded like he was planning on holing her away with him for a while. Maybe he was; Shannon would be okay with that. Especially since no one knew where the house in the woods was except for him.

She envied him his ability to keep his mouth shut about where he was staying; she'd tried to do that but when things had gotten to scary, she invited one person in. And then another. And then they invited someone in and then they invited someone else... Domeki and his friend were a temporary thing, Shannon knew and trusted, and it wasn't like she didn't want them around. It was just...she wished she'd had the guts to stay alone. If she hadn't asked Sam in, she'd never have gotten to know him and she wouldn't be so confused and disappointed about the way things were going. Not to mention the fact that she wouldn't have felt the need to bring in the Doctor. ...but then again, she might never have gotten close to Dean, either, so really, no matter how she'd done things, she'd have lost.

"Provisions would be good," she agreed. "But, we don't have to make a trip; I've got stuff," she pointed out. "I went up the day it started snowing; before it got so bad. Good timing, huh?" she asked, partially proud of herself for having done so and partially hoping Dean would be proud of her for doing it. She always felt like she had something to prove to everyone. The thing was, if Shannon thought about it for half a second, she'd realize the only person she had to prove herself to was...herself.

Then Dean asked if she wanted to camp out in the gym office where she'd found the journals and she suddenly felt very stupid. Of course he hadn't wanted to take her back to his hideaway with him; why would he? She was the reason he'd gone there to begin with, was she not? Still, he had a point and while she didn't think she'd be any real help to putting together the puzzle, she was more than willing to have an excuse to leave the museum and she could at least try to make herself useful. "Okay, yeah, sounds like a plan," she agreed readily.

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hellsboy
2009-05-26 09:25 am UTC (link)

Dean smiled at her in a pleasantly surprised way. She'd had the presence of mind to think ahead to maybe needing things to tide her over during the snow. She'd gone and gotten what she needed. He liked the initiative and the fact that she wasn't sitting back on her haunches. He wondered if she had continued to believe he'd been talking about her when he was giving himself shit about treating things like a country club here. She must've taken it to heart if she was all ready to go trooping after supplies and out into the woods with him if necessary. It was an unintended side effect but he was impressed with her tenacity.

"Perfect timing, actually. I've been trying to get there for provisions since yesterday. You don't mind sharing?"

He eyed her curiously. He was trying to figure out what that expression was on her face. He liked it but he couldn't read it. It was oddly hopeful or something like that. What in this situation would make her feel hopeful, he wondered. Unless she really was as unhappy with the crowdedness and the idea of getting out of here was completely making her day. Except he couldn't imagine Shannon not wanting to be a social. She seemed the thrive with the attention. She might have decided to be more proactive but less social? He couldn't figure that one out. But who said he understood girls anyway?

Especially when that shit happened. Her expression changed and it was even harder to read than the one before it. It seemed to happen for no reason and he wanted to roll his eyes. Why was she so difficult to please? He felt like he was doing the wrong thing all the time with her. Try not to hurt her, she's offended. Try to flirt with her, she's interested in Sam. Try to have sex with her, well that had been doomed from the beginning, hadn't it? What was the right thing in this situation? Should he leave her here and just have Sam figure out what to do with her?

No, he couldn't leave her here when he'd said he'd take her with him. As confusing and frustrating as she was, he knew a few things with perfect clarity. He wanted her with him and he wanted her safe. Safe... Looking at Shannon it suddenly dawned on him. The nagging thing in the back of his mind that went beyond not wanting to bring her back to the house because he hadn't checked all the rooms. He was possibly dangerous himself. The clones running around were proof that the people running this place could fuck with them in any way they wanted. Who knew what they'd done to him while they had him? Who knew if he might go robot and carry out some horrible mission to hurt people?

Without thinking about it, he reached out and touched her cheek with his fingertips, brushing away the last traces of moisture from her tears. "We need to get going soon. You probably should let Sam know where you're going."

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ballerinadreams
2009-05-26 09:10 pm UTC (link)

With a shrug and a small smirk, Shannon shook her head. "I wouldn't have offered if I minded," she replied. A small part of her thought that maybe he was proud of her for being prepared. Good, then it worked out doubly well. She was prepared - one point - and he thought maybe a little better of her - two points. She couldn't help the fact that in spite of the playful grin, her eyes practically sparkled with happiness; much, probably, like a validated puppy who'd brought back the toy that had been tossed in a game of fetch. Lookit what I can do! the look said. Do I get a reward?

Dean looked almost pensive for a moment and Shannon wished like hell she could find out what was going through his mind without asking the ever-annoying, "penny for your thoughts," or something equally as irritating and similar. Was he trying to think of a way to back out of getting her out of the museum? Trying to figure out how to let her down without dropping the mutual white flags they'd agreed to put up? Whatever it was he was thinking, she wasn't going to let on that she was worried. It wasn't any of her business what Dean was thinking; she had no right to wonder what was on his mind.

So, when he reached out and brushed the rest of her tears away with his fingers, Shannon was taken aback. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch without meaning to. When her eyes fluttered open again, it was because Dean spoke. "Yeah," she agreed. They should get going; before people started coming back. "I will, when we get to the gym," she replied. She had every intention of letting Sam know, because she'd want him to let her know if the tables were turned. That and she'd promised.

She faltered, though, unsure if she should be the first one to move or if she should wait and follow Dean. If she waited, would he think she was changing her mind and get upset? If she took the lead, would he think she was being too eager? Shannon took a deep breath and let it out in a succinct sigh, reaching up to wipe her face with the heels of her hands. "Okay, yeah, let's go. I need to get out of here," she reiterated, taking a step toward him, neither taking the lead nor hanging back to force him into initiating their actual movement out the door.

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hellsboy
2009-05-27 02:19 pm UTC (link)

Dean grinned at her and nodded. "Isn't that the truth?" he asked, mostly teasing her. He was glad she was willing to be so generous considering their recent past. He was glad he was able to control himself because he'd been pretty damned sure he was over this one. Until he'd seen her again. There wasn't any transference going on now and he knew it.

He was a little taken aback himself that Shannon responded to his wiping her tears in the way she had. Leaning into his touch, closing her eyes. She missed the slight raise of brows replaced with the flash of a wry smile when she opened her eyes again. She'd seemed to enjoy his touch but he wasn't going to take that personally. It could have been any combination of things including the stress of the moment. He wasn't going to let himself even think about hoping.

Except he wanted to hope. Dammit, he was going to hope. He had no choice at this point. But that was all he would allow. He was still leaving her behind with Sam so he could go on to the house by himself. He wasn't going to think about it anymore right now.

"You got it. Let's hit the road, Jack." Impulsively he slid a hand into hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze as she stepped toward him. He smiled almost apologetically and shrugged a little at the forwardness of just doing it. Then he was walking and he knew she would be right with him as he led the way from museum and into the chilly afternoon air.

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ballerinadreams
2009-05-27 08:12 pm UTC (link)

"Onward ho," Shannon replied to Dean's comment. She was beyond glad that he was going to take her away. It wasn't that she wanted to hog his time or put him out, but...he was the person with whom she was closest in this place who wasn't living in the museum at the moment and she needed some space.

When he took her hand, she gave him a small smile and returned his reassuring squeeze with a weak one of her own before following him outside. There was something to be said about the resilience of their young friendship. She appreciated that not only was he willing to come get her when she needed an escape from the cramped museum; from Sam...but that he was willing to comfort her when she was upset and pick up the pieces when she was broken, even though she hadn't been a very good friend to him. At all.

It wasn't that the air was terribly cold, at least not compared to the bitter cold of the last couple of days, but it still wasn't warm, either, and once they were all the way out in it, Shannon shrunk against Dean reflexively. "God, I'm so sick of this weather..." she muttered. She looked up at him, then, and gave him another small smile. "You didn't have to come out here," she admitted. "Thank you," she added sincerely.

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hellsboy
2009-05-28 08:09 am UTC (link)

"Gotta say I hated the weather earlier - almost froze to death on the way back into town. But now? Not so much," he teased. Of course it wasn't all teasing either. This was not the first time recently he'd had a girl huddled against him because of the weather. It was definitely not all bad if he was honest. The thought of Lexie pulling open his coat to wrap her arms around him brought an unexpected, thoughtful grin to his face. Made him almost wish it would snow again since the weather was nice enough to begin melting what there was already accumulated.

"Yeah I did. There's chaos and the men have been leaving the smaller, less combat-trained girls by themselves." He chose his words carefully because he didn't want her to assume he meant she was defenseless. He'd seen her with the metal bar that day. She wasn't messing around. But she hadn't exhibited any signs of knowing enough self-defense to fend off a pack of Weevils or clones for that matter. "Besides, you asked. I couldn't say no. So you're welcome, I guess."

He could see the gym looming up ahead and he wasn't all that happy to have to end the moment between them to allow Sam in. He so did not want to leave her with Sam but she would be so much safer with him. This fucking place. It made him want to ball his fist and shake it at the sky but he simply smiled over at her and kicked a drift of snow. "You're almost pretty with that pink nose." Wink.

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ballerinadreams
2009-05-29 07:43 pm UTC (link)

Shannon smiled slightly and leaned her head against Dean's shoulder, rolling her eyes playfully. "There's the Hulk I know and love," she teased back. It felt good to hear him poking fun and goofing off with her again. She hadn't realized how much she'd miss it until it had been gone. Part of it was because she missed him, really, but another part was that when he was joking, somehow that meant everything would be okay, even if it didn't feel like it, sometimes.

The fact that Dean was brushing off her thanks as a sense of duty sort of hurt a little, but she supposed she couldn't have her cake and eat it, too. "I'm like an amazon compared to the rest of the girls here," she pointed out with a ghost of a smile. But he was right, so she didn't throw a fit or get offended; she wasn't combat-trained. Far from it. The closest to combat she'd gotten in her entire life was preparing to clock both of the Winchesters in turn with a two-by-four or a metal bar and obviously she hadn't actually had to do it, so she wasn't sure that counted.

The second part of his statement was a little disheartening, but only because it was a little slap in the face from the past. She asked, Dean had come. She asked, Sam had come. She asked, Boone had come. Rather than reply or go all stoic inside herself again when the last thing she wanted to be thinking about right then was Boone, Shannon nodded against his shoulder. Another thank you would be redundant.

When Dean said she was almost pretty with the pink nose - goddamn snow - she blushed slightly and tilted her head to look up at him, just in time to catch the wink. Ahh, yes. Things were back to normal, it looked like. Shannon grinned. "You're almost cute with that pink nose," she countered without missing a beat. Wink.

And they were back in the game again.

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hellsboy
2009-05-31 01:37 pm UTC (link)

Dean was still thinking about Lexie when Shannon leaned her head against his shoulder. It didn't quite startle him but it brought him back to the present away from steamy kisses and a girl who was a lot less complicated and seemingly a lot more interested. He'd left her to her own devices in the gym and run off for other girls like an ass. And here he was, about to drop off Shannon and run off for other things. Like an ass. He was a heel and he knew it but at least he wasn't sticking around long enough to endanger anyone.

"I'm sorry, did you just say you loved me?" he asked with a big, shit-eating grin on his face. He knew she couldn't see it with her head against his shoulder but he was sure she could hear it. He was going to brush off the seriousness until he was by himself. There was no reason to set her worrying about whether or not she was going to be safe because he was over here brooding.

When she looked up at him, her face so close to his own, he almost kissed her. Had almost kissed her out of habit. A habit that had been part of his past. Something he was definitely going to let go of because he couldn't risk going supernova at the whim of the jackasses up there pulling the strings and running things. Instead of kissing her he looked away toward the gym which was now so close to them that he could make out someone standing in front of it so he stopped walking.

"Hey, I'm always cute. But uh, not pretty," he insisted with a casually playful smile. The game was back, that was for sure. He felt a twinge of regret that it was only coming back now that things were horrific around them and now that he was going to have to leave her again. Damn those assholes for making him do this. But what was done was done. This was just how it was going to have to be.

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ballerinadreams
2009-06-01 01:51 pm UTC (link)

Shannon rolled her eyes playfully and elbowed Dean in the side; the grin on his face was so clear in his voice that she didn't even need to look up to picture it in her mind's eye. "Smart ass," she replied. When she'd looked up and he looked away, she followed his line of sight. Guess they were going to have company... It was only a little confusing when Dean stopped walking. Shannon stopped, too.

"You're so totally pretty, Dean," she laughed, crinkling her nose. The person outside the gym headed inside and Shannon looked to Dean again, wondering whether he was still going to want to go inside now that someone else was there or if he would want to change course. She'd follow his lead, whichever he wanted to do. So long as he stayed with her and didn't take her back to the museum with Sam, she'd be fine.

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hellsboy
2009-06-01 02:00 pm UTC (link)

He wasn't sure why he'd stopped except he didn't want to have to let go of her hand just yet. But that was no reason to keep them standing around when Sam wanted to get shit off his chest and Dean needed to make sure Shannon was safe.

He looked down at her with a smile and brushed a stray hair from her cheek. Something about this felt final. Again with the finality with her. Maybe he needed to take a chill pill.

But something told him he'd need to stay away from her for a while. Especially if he was going to turn psycho and go on a rampage. That thought just kept building in his mind until he was walking again. This needed to be over before he lost his nerve. He didn't think she'd care too much either consider he was going to leave her with Sam. She wanted to be with Sam. She was safe with him.

Yeah. Keep telling yourself that, Winchester...

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