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Bob. ([info]silent_bob) wrote in [info]vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-05-08 18:58:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current location:The Not Quick Stop
Entry tags:!dropped, !incomplete, day 06, jay, location: gas station, silent bob

Day Six: Afternoon
Who: Bob and Jay
What; Commiserating
Where: The Not Quick Stop
When: Day 6, afternoon
Rating: PG-13 to start for language

Status: Incomplete

Bob had managed to have a fucked up afternoon and currently he was walking about with fucking neon pink-ass calves in the trademarked signature of calomine lotion. He couldn't help but be fucking salty as fuck. That little shit had managed to infiltrate the Not Quick Stop and fuck with him. What the fuck was up witht hat asshole? Who the fuck did shit like that?

Upon Bob's return to the Not Quick Stop, as if in a solemn ritual, he too up his post right outside the fucking front door, kicking a heel up against the building's side and lighting a smoke with the beginnings of a grin of fucking satisfaction threatening at the corners of his mouth. Sure, the that little fuck had won this battle; but, Bob was confident he'd win the fucking war - especially when people fucking started to realize what a fire in the only place with their fucking food and water meant.

Holding the cig between pursed lips, Bob looked around for Jay. Where the fuck was Jay, anyway?

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[info]silent_bob
2009-05-08 08:06 pm UTC (link)
Bob heard Jay fucking coming and it made him feel so much fucking better to not be fucking alone - not that he'd fucking admit that to Jay. It seemed like every time he was alone something fucking bad happened.

Bob gave a fucking Jay the man-nod of sup, raising his brow and keeping his hands firmly planted in his trench coat pockets.

Bob shook his head sadly, as of yet not having dished upon L divine justice.

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[info]_snoogans_
2009-05-10 10:33 am UTC (link)
Upon Silent Bob's admitting of not having done anything to the little fucker who not only had risked fucking up the food supplies but had also - and this was much more fucked up - almost injured Silent Bob, Jay shook his head disapprovingly.

"Shit Silent Bob, sometimes it looks like you're turning into a right little bitch..." He looked at Silent Bob without turning his body towards him. "What does that fucker have that we don't, huh? We gots to get in there, whoop his ass like the little bitch he is, and let him know who's boss!"

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[info]silent_bob
2009-05-10 10:23 pm UTC (link)
Bob didn't know what kept him from kicking L's ass. Especially now that he had fruity-pink fucking legs. That little fucking shit. Yet, each time he ran in to L he felt fucking sad for the fucker. Like he could just fucking tell there was something wrong there and it would be like kicking the special olympic kid or something.

Bob's head fell as he stared at the fucking ground. What the fuck was he supposed to fucking do with Jay nudging him on to kick the poor fucker's ass? Seriously? Bob fucking shrugged - was the really the fucking answer? To kick the little fuckers ass? Bob didn't know; but, maybe if they did the little shit would just fucking disappear.

Bob's eyes rolled in final punctuation, trying to think of a good reason not to kick the shithead's ass. Maybe the little fucker did have it coming to him?

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[info]_snoogans_
2009-05-11 01:01 pm UTC (link)
Jay could unmistakably see the conflict brewing within Silent Bob and, as usual, he didn't know what that meant, or why it was there. Silent Bob was just being a pussy.

"Are you having some kind of inner conflict, or what the shit it's called?" He asked, slightly annoyed and disappointed.

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[info]silent_bob
2009-05-12 11:40 am UTC (link)
Bob shrugged. So what if he was having a fucking inner conflict.

However, his blood was fucking boiling at this point. What the fuck was he supposed to fucking do, cry like a bitch or some shit?

No, Jay was right he was fucking supposed to go kick this fucking kid's ass. He nodded firmly just to fucking punctuate.

Yeah, kick his ass.

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[info]_snoogans_
2009-05-14 09:02 am UTC (link)
Jay watched as Silent Bob resolved his inner conflict with raised eyebrows and a little bit of annoyance.

Good thing apparently Silent Bob had reached a favorable conclusion for Jay. He agreed they needed to kick the kid's ass. Or maybe just push him against a wall and scream at him - that worked sometimes.

"Yeah? We good?" He asked encouragingly. "'Cos if not I'm not gonna hang out with a little pussy who's afraid of some kid with firecrackers, Silent Bob chicks don't dig that kind of thing."

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[info]silent_bob
2009-05-15 04:21 pm UTC (link)
Bob, at this point would be all for giving the kid a fucking wedgie - a fact he mimed for Jay. He was a fucking kid - nothing better than pulling hsi fucking tighty whities up over his fucking shoulders and some shit.

To Jay's comment Bob nodded - he wouldn't hang with a fucking pussy, either.

Though, it seemed Chicks kind of fucking dug Bob and shit, anyway.

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[info]_snoogans_
2009-05-15 06:47 pm UTC (link)
Jay nodded profusely at Silent Bob's miming, and grinned. That was a good plan, even better and more up their alley than kicking ass, although after the premiere of Bluntman and Chronic, they'd gotten pretty good at it.

"Yeah so we catch him from behind, by surprise, and pull that fucker's panties right up, deal?" Jay was extremely excited now.

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[info]silent_bob
2009-05-15 06:58 pm UTC (link)
Bob was sort of amused at the quiet-ass response out of Jay. It was uncharacteristically quiet, actually. Nodding? That was his fucking schtick.

Though, Jay's next response of further comprehension removed all doubt that he still had his heterolifemate. Bob nodded happily, his grin almost stretching ear to ear.

Fucking wedgie - and a fucking wet willy to boot. Wet willies are fucking mean, nasty shit.

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[info]_snoogans_
2009-05-15 07:11 pm UTC (link)
Excitement sometimes made even Jay speechless. For like 10 seconds, but still. It was fucking awesome to see Silent Bob so fucking happy. He hadn't changed, and Jay appreciated that. For a minute there, he'd been scared.

"And then, and then..." Jay started, but then looked up to catch his thoughts again. "We can make him say he loves the cock out loud in front of a bunch of people!"

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[info]silent_bob
2009-05-15 07:16 pm UTC (link)
'And then, and then...' that shit had Bob nodding like a fucking bobblehead. And then fucking what? he fucking wanted to ask; but, Bob held on. He knew eventually Jay would fucking sound it out.

'We can make him say he loves the cock,' it was like the crowning fucking jewel. However, Bob knew how they could make it better. Very simply Bob mimed, 'Big' holding his hands out five-dollar-foot-long style.

They'd make that stupid fuck say he loves the big fucking cock.

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[info]_snoogans_
2009-05-15 07:22 pm UTC (link)
Jay chuckled and patted Bob on the back. Fucking perfect. Now he couldn't wait.

"Shit yeah! That little fucker's gonna say he loves the biiig juicy fucking cock."

And they were going to laugh so fucking much at him, it was going to be a fucking party. Even better than when they convinced the kids that Dante and Randal had gotten married in a Star Wars ceremony.

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[info]silent_bob
2009-05-17 07:50 pm UTC (link)
This was the happiest Bob had been since he'd wound up here. Even happier than when (as fucked up as this sounds) he and Cheryl were locked up in the fucking cell and acting like idiots. That had been good times.

Bob was nodding emphatically. He didn't have the words to express how much he wanted this shit to go down, so he just nodded.

Unlike in Jersey they couldn't fucking deal - so Bob was wondering what they were supposed to do to fill the time.

Fuck.

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[info]_snoogans_
2009-05-18 06:11 am UTC (link)
As if Jay had read Bob's thoughts, he looked around, eyebrow raised, and then turned back to Silent Bob.

"...What are we supposed to do?" Yes, he was sort of looking for guidance, but he'd deny it if you asked. But the fact that they couldn't loiter, because nobody was there to notice them, and they couldn't deal (or smoke) because there was no weed left them with shit all to do. And just standing there felt...well, weird.

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[info]silent_bob
2009-05-20 10:13 am UTC (link)
Bob decided that an impromptu dance party was in order. They didn't have shit else to do. So, he started bumping out rthym on the side of the fucking bulding, each thump rendering a hollow thud. It was kind of satisfying, actually.

Bobbing his head to the rthym; Bob suddenly really fucking wished he had his boombox.

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[info]_snoogans_
2009-05-20 04:55 pm UTC (link)
It wasn't the same without the boombox, but Jay appreciated Bob's effort. And so, he, too, began bobbing his head to the rhythm. And then moving his whole body to it.

Ah, the good old days of impromptu awesome choreographies. He missed those. He missed King Diamond, and the Jackson 5.

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[info]silent_bob
2009-05-23 08:36 am UTC (link)
Bob hadn't thought about it until this very moment. The Not Quick Stop had smelled like ass for days. Bob hadn't thought it was his ass - but maybe it was? Taking a second Bob delicately sniffed his armpit. Fuck.

Walking over and tapping Jay on the shoulder Bob mimed 'stinky' and then pointed at the two of them. Pulling out his journal he opened the book to the pages about the working showers in the gym.

Bob knew what he wanted to do next.

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[info]_snoogans_
2009-05-24 10:55 am UTC (link)
Whatever prompted silent Bob to go from pretending to be a boombox all the way to worrying about himself smelling like ass, Jay would never know. Then again, he was busy dancing anyhow. He glared at Silent Bob when his friend interrupted him, and then frowned when Silent Bob explained that they both stunk. Because they did.

Jay leaned over to read Bob's journal without speaking, and then looked at Silent Bob with raised eyebrows. He didn't even know there was a shower there.

"You and me gonna take a shower, Silent Bob?" He asked. "Careful, don't you drop the soap! BONG!" He said next, grinning at Silent Bob like he'd said the most wonderful joke in the whole world.

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[info]silent_bob
2009-05-24 06:14 pm UTC (link)
Bob wished he hadn't seen the joke coming. Things out of Bob's mouth were always funnier when he didn't expect them. Instead, he saw the Don't drink the soap comment coming a million miles away. Instead of snorting, Bob simply shook his head.

Disappearing into the Not Quick Stop a moment Bob reappeared after a few moments with small bottles of shampoo in his hands. He chucked one of the bottles at Jay before dragging his feet off in the general direction of the showers. Looking over his shoulder he gave Jay the look of 'are you fucking coming?'

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[info]_snoogans_
2009-05-24 06:38 pm UTC (link)
Of course he did. Jay wasn't saying that to be original, he was saying that because it's what he did when one mentioned showers. Always. He frowned deeply at Silent Bob for not laughing, but didn't speak, simply watched him walk into the Not Quick Stop. He took the bottle Silent Bob had chucked at his chest and looked down at it with one raised eyebrow. Obviously, he didn't walk right away. Things took a certain time to process.

"Alright alright lunchbox, I'm coming." Finally, chucking the shampoo bottle into one of his pockets, Jay walked after Silent Bob. "Fucking little bitch can't fucking take a fucking shower without me..." He mumbled.

Looking up at Bob, Jay yelled. "I ain't letting you see me naked, lunchbox, forget it!"

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[info]silent_bob
2009-05-25 09:11 pm UTC (link)
Bob was satisfied when Jay said he was coming. It meant that the Not Quick Stop wouldn't smell like quite so much ass anymore. It was getting pretty damn ripe in there.

Looking over his shoulder, Bob gave Jay a look of 'I fucking heard that,' but continued on, turning the small bottle in his hand. It was better than nothing, even if it probably smelled all girly and shit.

Canting his head to Jay's latest rant Bob rolled his eyes. Let's face it, it's not like he hadn't seen Jay naked before - all that fucking Silence Of the Lambs Wild-Bill impersonating, while genius, was also nude. Not that Bob was fucking looking or some shit - it was a fucking train wreck and he couldn't help it. Fucking Jay and his naked asswhipery.

Shooting back a look of 'you aren't seeing me fucking naked,' Bob continued on his slow ass walk. Pink legs and all.

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[info]_snoogans_
2009-05-26 01:09 pm UTC (link)
At Bob's look Jay simply snorted. He liked to mess with Silent Bob, and his good friend should know that by now. He took Bob's look with contempt, one eyebrow raised and his mouth a straight line.

"Like I ever wanna fucking see you naked. Yikes."

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[info]silent_bob
2009-05-26 01:17 pm UTC (link)
Bob knew his friend was just jerking the fuck around. It wa Jay, and it was to be expected. Looking again over his shoulder Bob smirked. his friend was muttering. It was never really fucking good when Jay muttered and some shit.

They were nearly to the fucking gym in a walk that felt way too fucking short. He felt like they should have been walking longer and some shit. Instead the building loomed in front of them and Bob swore he could fucking hear the running hot water.

Oh, wait there wasn't any.

Fuckbeans.

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[info]_snoogans_
2009-05-26 04:06 pm UTC (link)
"The fuck you smirkin' about?" He asked upon Bob's look over his shoulder.

Jay hadn't been to the gym yet, and he didn't know about the nonexistence of hot water, because logic really wasn't his strong point, and he simply assumed. So, upon Silent Bob's change of facial expression, Jay stopped beside him and looked at him suspiciously. "What're you crying about now?"

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