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Andy Gallagher is not the droid you're looking for ([info]brain_ninja) wrote in [info]vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-12-11 20:32:00

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Day Thirty, late night
Who: Andy Gallagher and Elliot Reid
What: A talk neither of them really wants to have.
When: Day 30, late night.
Where: Back of Andy's van.
Rating: PG-13.
Status: Active.



When Elliot had fallen asleep that night, Andy laid beside her, his arms wrapped around her and his face nuzzled in her hair. He kept his eyes closed and tried, really and truly, to fall asleep as well. His mind was reeling and there were too many thoughts floating around in there for him to manage it, no matter how hard he tried. His talk with Connor was in the back of his mind, but mainly he was turning the idea of Elliot's manufactured pregnancy and the new lackthereof. Was it good news, really, or was it bad news? Andy wondered how Elliot felt about it, because she hadn't talked about it and it seemed as though she wasn't going to.

After pulling away carefully and covering Elliot with the extra blanket he'd found at the thrift shop earlier, Andy opened the back door of his van a bit and sat just inside, staring out into the darkness. Wrapped in the other blanket, Andy watched the snow falling and frowned.

While he was glad that neither he nor Elliot was going to have to worry about raiding the pharmacy for prenatal vitamins, bothering Lexie for check ups, forraging for actual sustenance, or raising a child in a place like this, there was still the guilty feeling in the back of his mind. The one that was somewhere between heartbroken that he'd had the whole rest of that day to get used to - and start to look forward to - being a dad...and relief that it wasn't real and he wouldn't have to grow up just yet.

Nearly twenty four hours Andy had spent locked up in the cage with nothing better to do than mull over the possibility of being forced to become an adult really and truly. No more fucking around, no more thinking about himself. There would be no more hours of pot smoking bliss. There would be, in short, no more fun. He'd thought about it for hours and hours and had come to the decision that he could and would do that. For Elliot. For his child - or the child, he supposed. And now, he had a whole new thing to get used to: nothing was changing. He wasn't sure how he felt about it. Clearly, it was good news for Elliot and at least there was no child to traumatize involved, now.

But then...there was still that sad feeling in the pit of his stomach, because Andy wondered if he was ever going to have a family. He was going to probably die here. If it didn't happen here, it wouldn't happen at all and that was all there was to it. So, there he sat, turning over the same thoughts in his mind and staring, shivering, out into the snow falling silently in the dark.


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[info]frickonastick
2009-12-14 05:01 am UTC (link)
Elliot wasn't sure how she'd managed to fall asleep. One minute she was thinking that she'd never get there, listening to the sound of Andy's breathing as he held her and the next she was opening her eyes. She shifted, not feeling Andy's familiar warmth behind her and realizing that she was covered with a blanket. She sat up, her eyes adjusting to the darkness of the van and the old whiteness beyond the door and she watched Andy's still silhouette for a moment.

He looked so sad and alone that even though she'd spent the entire day trying not to be pinned down by a serious conversation with him, she found herself slipping the blanket off and crawling towards the end of the van. "Andy," she said quietly, sitting down by the door. "What are you doing?"

She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

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[info]brain_ninja
2009-12-14 05:18 am UTC (link)
So caught up in his own thoughts, Andy was startled slightly by the sound of Elliot's voice. He hadn't even heard her approaching. "Just watching the snow," he lied. "I'm good," he added, looking over at her when he felt her hand on his shoulder. He offered her a small smile - one of the many rehearsed ones he'd gotten so good at faking for Trace when he'd had to. It almost came naturally, even if he was a little rusty on his necessity to use it.

Men were supposed to be the strong ones. They weren't supposed to be the ones fussing over a miscarriage or a reversal or whatever the hell had happened to Elliot. Andy shouldn't have been the one sitting there mulling over his no longer impending fatherhood and he sure as hell wasn't going to tell Elliot that he was. He'd sound weak and he'd make her feel worse than she probably already did. Sharing his feelings this time...was not an option.

Andy looked back out the door and held out one arm, opening the blanket and inviting her to share without actually saying so. He knew it was cold out, after all. "You ever notice how mesmirizing this shit is?" he asked absently. "I kinda got into a passive-aggressive verbal battle with Stegs earlier in the gym. I said some shit I didn't really mean and he didn't really deserve; I can't sleep," he went on with the lie. Some of that was true. He had gotten into a not-quite-argument with Connor at the gym. He wasn't, however, going to lose sleep over it.

Looking over at her, Andy raised his eyebrows. "Why are you up, anyway? You were totally passed out, what happened? I was trying to be quiet so I wouldn't wake you up..." he said by way of apologizing to her without actually having to come out and say it.

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[info]frickonastick
2009-12-30 05:25 am UTC (link)
He said he was good and flashed her a smile, but Elliot didn't miss the way it didn't reach his eyes. "No you're not," she said, giving him a worried frown.

He held out the blanket and she took the invitation willingly, sliding under his arm and into the warmth of the blanket. Her side was pressed up against his and for a moment all she could think about was how it was the perfect fit. For the first time in her life she really understood what people meant when they said two peas in a pod. She'd never really cared before, she was more into apple analogies.

She leaned her head against his shoulder and rubbed his leg under the blanket. "Oh Andy," she said watching the snow fall. "Don't worry about it. Friends say stupid things to one another all the time. He'll forgive you." She paused, pressing her lips together for a moment. She wanted to ask him if he wanted to talk about it, but that was too close of an invitation to talk for her comfort. Still, he couldn't sleep. The least she could do... "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

She shrugged, lifting her head to look back at him. "It wasn't you. I don't know. I just woke up. Guess I can't sleep either."

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