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Remy LeBeau ([info]ace_of_clubs) wrote in [info]vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-09-18 09:19:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!complete, day 23, location: church, remy lebeau, the doctor (ten)

Who: Remy LeBeau & The Doctor (Tenth)
What: Gambit keeps his promise.
Where: At the Church
When: Day 23, 10:02pm
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete

'Church, ten o'clock' the Doctor had said. Thankfully, the mutant was able to read his digital wrist watch with no problem. It had a little feature where you could push the button and it lit up. How cool was that? So after watching the Time Lord walk off into the darkness, he had turned back around to watch the fire burning down the barn. Really, it was fantastic to behold, and though he idly wondered if the smoke would fill up the bubble and kill them all.. he wasn't really that concerned. This enclosure was huge, after all.. and there had to be some sort of exchange going on, right? Else they would have run out of oxygen long ago.

While standing there watching the barn burn, Selene had come along.. the Cajun had been more than happy to indulge her for a while, before finally he'd collected up the buckets of water, his washing board, and various other items, and had taken them across town towards the church. He'd only been there a handful of times, but he had enjoyed it, it was peaceful. So it was at ten o'clock that the Cajun, hauling along three buckets full of water, five water bottles, three empty buckets, a washing board, and a little red wagon (all rusted and ugly, but still working) down the road to the Church. He would, of course, end up having to turn into the woods, but he just took it slow from there, until he was passing by the cemetery, slowing his steps to rake red eyes out across the graves. There were at least two bodies in there, Selene had said she'd buried them there.. idly, he wondered who they were. But he wouldn't dwell on it. The strictly Catholic-Raised Cajun (except for Tante Mattie, who was into voodoo) mentally repeated a prayer, though he'd lost his faith long ago. It was habit.

And just moments later, he was coming to a stop in front of that church and leaving the red wagon behind as he went up the stairs, pushing open those double doors and stepping on through. He hadn't ever been inside the church.. but as he stepped through the doors, he felt a little shiver. That was what faith did to you, kids. It made you feel like God was watching you all the time. And right now, he felt a little paranoid about it -- Sinners didn't want God watching them all the time.


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[info]fromgallifrey
2009-09-19 05:22 am UTC (link)
There were fingers in his hair and they made him feel like he could explode. There was a voice in his head and it made him feel worse. Everything made him feel worse. Everything. As if those fingers in his hair hadn't been bad enough, well, that hand was on his shoulder and squeezing. The Cajun would find a knot of hard muscles. He'd feel the shaking and the quivering of a man who could be angry - but more likely this one was just scared.

His fingers knitted behind his head, knees pulling up closer. Do you think he could make himself any smaller? The Doctor was wincing, hidden behind his arms and then he was sobbing again and he couldn't stop. He felt the choking noise coming up in his throat as he tried to forget the panic in the Cajun's tone none too long ago. He couldn't look at you, Remy; but, you already knew that.

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[info]ace_of_clubs
2009-09-19 05:27 am UTC (link)
When he saw the Doctor try to curl up even closer in on himself, any doubt he had about being attacked left him, and he let out a breath, bending forward some at the waist to lean over his lover a bit. "Desole, didn' mean t' hi' y'.. bu' y' woul'n' stop." He was trailing those fingers along the other's arm, back to his hair, where he let his hand sit for a moment.

"C'mon an' looki' me. I ain' ma' a' you." He was a little scared of you, though, Time Lord. You'd know it if you made any sudden movements, but he was doing a good job of being strong right now. "I's Remy, Doct'r." As if he didn't know that already. "C'mon." He was trying verbal coaxing first.. he'd physically start touching him in a bit, if he got no response from this.

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[info]fromgallifrey
2009-09-19 05:35 am UTC (link)
Was the Cajun really just apologizing for hitting him? Did the Doctor hear him correctly? That, odd bit of illogic, was almost enough to bring the Doctor out of himself a moment just to tell the Cajun how ridiculous the entire concept was.

The Doctor had no intention of looking at the Cajun, letting him see him in that broken state. This wasn't just a man who was biting and ripping - this was a man who was crying - one who probably couldn't stand right now even if he wanted to.

"I know it's you," he whispered. "And I know you should go." Even his whisper quivered. Nothing was steady about the Doctor in this moment except an intense sense of self loathing. What had he become? What had he allowed himself to try and do? Oh, Remy, you said you weren't mad at him now; but, that didn't stop the Doctor from hitting himself for you.

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[info]ace_of_clubs
2009-09-19 05:41 am UTC (link)
He let out a little breath when the other man spoke. Relief. He was worried the situation was much worse than it was-- it was still quite bad, of course, but at least he was speaking. That was a small mercy. "Shoul'a gone uh lon' time ago, non?" He scooted himself some, stretching out that long, lean body that you'd almost violated, and bending one arm up to use it as a pillow, while his legs stretched out much further below. He'd ended up laying on his side, facing the curled up Time Lord, his face not far from those protective arms. Could you feel his breath, Doctor?

"Ain' goin' no where. C'mon an' lemme help. You didn' hur' me." Maybe not physically, but you'd given him quite a scare and it'd be a long time before he trusted you to come up behind him. He'd startle for days following this. "Looki' me." Another soft bit of encouragement, as his free, ungloved hand came out to try and tug one of those arms away.

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[info]fromgallifrey
2009-09-19 05:47 am UTC (link)
Should have gone and stayed away.

He could feel that breath against his arms, sense the closeness with which the other man now lay. You didn't need to touch him, Remy, for him to feel the heat rolling off you and for him to feel the pull to that same warmth. Did you have any idea how enticing your warmth was? Did you know how much he knew he should want to curl up and just be held, tucked up against someone he could trust and not have to say a word?

French licked words again rolled out to his ears, asking Time Lord to come out of hiding and to look at his lover. To look at the man he'd almost raped. He would have raped you, Remy. He would have taken what he wanted. Did you realize that? The Doctor did.

"No!" The Doctor rumbled, squeezing his arms down harder about his head, forcing his eyes closed and gritting his teeth. Blood came out from between his lips and he couldn't even move to brush it away for fear of letting his guard down.

"Just go," he quaked.

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[info]ace_of_clubs
2009-09-19 05:52 am UTC (link)
"Non, ain' goin'." He insisted again, those fingers lightly stroking over the thinner man's arm, not wanting to grab, though it was what instinct told him to do, to force those obstacles out of the way. It took a lot of will power not to. "Gonna stay here, an' you gonna lemme looki' you. Y' owe me 'dat, Doct'r, don' you t'ink?" There we go, he'd use your guilt against you. You'd almost raped him, didn't you think you owed him this? Didn't he deserve to see you broken and weeping over what you'd tried to do to him? Especially knowing what he'd gone through almost ten years ago. You deserved this humiliation, Doctor. You'd humiliated him. You'd left him feeling raw and exposed. It was your turn. Penance, Doctor.

"C'mon. Looki' me." He encouraged again, fingers curling gently around that forearm, past his wrist, but not tugging.

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[info]fromgallifrey
2009-09-19 05:57 am UTC (link)
He didn't owe you anything. He wouldn't owe you anything. You wouldn't be guilting him into anything other than rocking on the floor, because that was what he'd started to do. He couldn't handle anymore guilt, Remy. The Time Lord had watched for hours on end his planet disintegrate. He saw each and every person in Vas Captio turned into a shell of a person. He'd felt his body violated and taken in bits and pieces. He'd tried to rape you. He'd made a gun from a bloody Victrola! The Doctor had enough guilt in his head, enough pain, trying to twist it into even greater guilt was not going to work.

Besides, what were you trying to accomplish getting him to look at you? What measure of comfort at seeing your face could the Doctor glean? He'd only feel more guilt, more pain. He'd only see the way you'd looked at him as he reminded that you'd said anything.

"Just go," he breathed again.

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[info]ace_of_clubs
2009-09-19 06:02 am UTC (link)
"Non." He insisted again in that softer tone, fingers curling a little tighter, then releasing all together, to go back to stroking. "Gonna stay wit' you. Tol' you I wasn' gonna leave.. tol' you 'dat you wasn' gonna leave me. Don' go makin' uh liar outta me." Yeah right, he was a liar through and through.. but he did try not to lie to the Doctor, when at all possible.

He scooted his body nearer then, his hips and abdomen meeting with those tugged up legs, and he was pressing his head forward to touch his forehead against the protective arms curled around the Time Lord's face. That free arm was stretching to wrap gently over his curled body, just long enough to rest against his back, fingers tracing idle patterns there. "Ain' goin' no where." He reminded again, just as quietly. You were stuck with him, whether you wanted him or not. Just get used to it, Time Lord. This weeping angel wasn't made of stone, but flesh and blood. And no matter where you turned.. he'd always be there. Waiting.

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[info]fromgallifrey
2009-09-19 06:09 am UTC (link)
A mess of tension were the Time Lord's muscles as they started to scream from exhaustion on the dingy floor. The room smelled like outdated frankincense and spilled wine and it crept into the Time Lord's nose quite nicely until that Cajun had shown back up and set his hand to his back and made a move as if to pull him in nice and close. Oh, he yearned for you to do that, Cajun, to pull him in and press as tightly as you could. To smoother him in you.

Silent as the grave the Doctor responded to that touch. It wasn't anything obvious as unwinding muscles or the pull of his hands from his head; no, the Doctor was subtly pushing back into the Cajun's touch. There abs and hips hit his shins, the Doctor pressed just a little. Where that arm laid and fingers stroked his back arched a little, pressing him into that touch ever so gently.

"I don't even recognize myself," his words easily lost in the room.

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[info]ace_of_clubs
2009-09-19 06:13 am UTC (link)
"I recognize you." He assured him in a whisper, stroking fingers sliding down the other man's back, over his hip, them up his thigh as he pressed into a knee and tried to carefully push that leg down. First one, then the other, if he was successful. He wouldn't try to expose your face, Doctor, but he did want you near. He wanted you close. And those legs weren't allowing him that. He had to get his body in closer, even though his mind was warning him, reminding him of what had happened so recently. He pushed it down the best he could and continued urging those knees lower.

"You in 'dere, Doct'r.. an' you mine." This was breathed out more quietly. "An' I wan' back wha's mine." He'd do whatever he had to do to get you back to normal.

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[info]fromgallifrey
2009-09-19 06:20 am UTC (link)
"No." Was the only protest the Doctor could manage - though to what exactly it was difficult to say. He felt that hand trailing down his back over a hip and down his thigh. He felt the press of fingers to his knee and he pushed back, muscles tense and aching. The time on that cold floor made his muscles wrench in hatred, cramping and seizing. He couldn't stay like this forever. He couldn't keep all balled up.

Gingerly with a snapping of tendons and hard pressed joints those legs would straighten out leaving the Doctor feeling vulnerable until that body pressed in against his own. He was pushing into that touch still, Remy. He couldn't do anything but what he was now, lying there in silence soaking up your heat that he didn't rightfully deserve.

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[info]ace_of_clubs
2009-09-19 06:25 am UTC (link)
And that was exactly what would happen. Once he got those legs straight, he was tugging the Doctor in closer with that one arm, sliding the lighter body across the dusty floor and bringing their hips in flush against one another. Legs tangled, and he kept his face near those protective arms, their chests as near as possible with those arms up.

"Oui." Though he didn't know what he was arguing about. Only that he had to win. The Doctor had to pull himself back together, to fix himself. And he had to let his Cajun help. This wasn't something he could just endure. He'd endured enough, he'd fought and kicked and bit, he'd suffered and screamed and hated. He'd raged and he'd cried, and now Remy was collecting him back up, like a fallen puzzle, and was trying to figure out where the pieces went. He might try to force a few wrong pieces into improper holes, but he'd get it eventually.

He hoped.

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[info]fromgallifrey
2009-09-19 09:38 pm UTC (link)
"I wasn't going to stop."

There weren't many times in the Doctor's life where he'd wished he'd wished the strength to stop himself. Let's face it, the Doctor is a force of nature, the sort that will push and drag and scratch until getting what he wants - what he knows is right. In this case, he'd used his own fear of failure against himself - not being willing to settle for anything less than what he wanted right then. And what he'd wanted was just plain wrong.

"I'm so sorry, Remy. So very sorry. I just couldn't... I didn't..."

What had the Doctor learned from this experience? That he couldn't trust himself. That something had broken and it made it so he didn't have control. Oh, goodness, he didn't have control...

The rational side began to tick, his brain started turning again and the Doctor tried to focus. He knew, generally, what had happened to him; why he was acting the way he was. He knew the basics of how minds worked and how they fractured and how they could be repaired. He knew that he did what he did due to an acute onset of panic. Now, Time Lord, you knew you weren't hurting now. You knew you were safe. You knew there were people here who would ensure you stayed that way, too. You didn't have to fear, right? You didn't have to worry.

Still, there was blood dripping down his cheek as the Time Lord wiped the edge of his mouth against his own shoulder, pulling in a gasping breath and keeping everything down in his belly. I'm alright. His brain repeated it again and again like a mantra. I'm fine.

Thus, settled up close the Doctor hardly moved. He barely breathed save those hard shuddering gasps. He couldn't help but feel humiliation, and he couldn't bring himself to suffer even more.

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[info]ace_of_clubs
2009-09-19 10:17 pm UTC (link)
When he said he wasn't going to stop, a little shiver went through the much younger man's body, but he controlled himself admirably and only tightened his fingers some around the Doctor's back as he tried to explain. 'I just couldn't. I didn't..'

"Non, you didn'. 'Das wha' matters." He knew, of course, that the Doctor hadn't meant that at all when he'd said 'I didn't', but Gambit was pleased with twisting his words into something more positive. "Don' t'ink on i', s' done, Doct'r, ain' gonna happen 'gain. S' over." He turned his face some and pressed his mouth against the exposed skin, just above the cuff of his dress shirt, and below the injury on his wrist. There was just a little strip of skin there, and wouldn't you know it, the Cajun's mouth had managed to find it. Then it traveled up, just some, to touch the tip of that warm tongue to the wound itself. That, surprisingly, might feel quite good to the Doctor. Wetness and warmth were always good on raw skin. And that was the skin he spoke against when he next opened his mouth.

"C'mon an' pu' y' arms down." It was a soft request, because it was awfully hard to pull the Time Lord flush against him with those arms curled up protecting his face. He knew he wanted to get closer, needed to get closer. Tactile mutant. Even after that, he still wanted to touch you, wanted to kiss you, wanted to make you feel better. Was 'loyal' a strong enough word? Maybe 'stupid' was better.

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[info]fromgallifrey
2009-09-19 10:29 pm UTC (link)
"I didn't have control," Doctor's voice clarified, the sound feeling close against the closeness of his arms. "It's not over," he said darkly. How could it possibly be over when that mantra was failing him and the Time Lord felt just as shaken as he had when he woke up?

There were lips pressing to the raw skin of his wrist. Tongue traced against the very distinct border of his wound, causing him to shudder and seize and try to pull his arms in closer. "Not like this. I can't. No." He was quaking there beside you, Remy LeBeau - this strong, magnificent creature reduced to a trembling mass.

"They can take me again... any time they want. They can take me and pick me apart and..." there is nothing you or I can do about it. It was then the Doctor's arms fell, revealing a blotchy, tear stained face and a mouth rimmed with his own blood. A bruise was rapidly running up the bottom of his jaw from where you'd hit him, Remy. He couldn't look you in the eye right now because he was panicked again, looking around the room, trying to figure out how he could fortify it, keep them out. Keep everyone out. Get you out.

Oh, you silly, loyal, stupid boy; you devoted and loving creature; the Doctor felt nothing but the pain of guilt and fear when he touched you, let alone looked at you and there were still pieces falling off of him yet.

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[info]ace_of_clubs
2009-09-19 10:39 pm UTC (link)
When those arms fell, Gambit let out a slow breath and reached up that bare hand, trailing his fingers through the blood there, then he used his thumb to wipe some away. "Oui, 'dey can take you whenever 'dey wan'.. bu' I'm still gonna be here t' help you when you ge' back. An' I'm still gonna wan' you." He wasn't going to lie, they couldn't do anything if they wanted to come and take the Doctor, or take him, or take anyone. They were helpless. They both knew it. But he could promise that if it happened again, he wouldn't abandon him, he wouldn't let him fall-- he'd catch him, and he'd help pick up the pieces and put them back together the best he could. He wasn't perfect, not by a long shot.. but he was sure he could get the puzzle mostly right.

"M' so sorry I hi' you." That was said more quietly, because now that he saw the ugly bruise, he felt his stomach twist some. He'd done that. Sure, the Doctor had deserved it at the time.. but now that he was in his right mind, he didn't deserve the pain that went along with it. However, he was tugging him in flush against his body then, abdomens and chests meeting tightly, even as the red-head lifted his chin to kiss the corner of the Time Lord's eye, right beneath his temple. "T'in's gonna be okay." He promised in a softer voice. "We gonna be okay. M' gonna look af'er you." You'd have someone watching over you for a change. Remy had done it many times before, but never like this. Not when it actually counted for something. "I ain' gonna leave y', no' 'til I know you gonna be okay t' be 'lone." And he didn't care when you thought you were okay.. it'd be when he thought you were okay.

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[info]fromgallifrey
2009-09-19 10:58 pm UTC (link)
The Doctor used to live in a world where the Management could take them if they wanted and it wouldn't matter. Where he'd be locked in a flooding room, or sequestered in an apartment. They'd tie him up with someone else or maybe they'd just tie him up alone. Now he knew they wouldn't just take him and sit him down. Now he knew they'd take him and they'd pick him apart. They'd treat him like some sort of animal to be dissected. They'd pollute his senses and then remove them all together and when he couldn't scream anymore from the rawness in his throat they'd take away his breath. They never stopped. They never would stop. He couldn't do anything against it.

He didn't take that apology. He winced against it because he knew it was faulty and wrong. It tasted bitter and rotten because it didn't fit. He deserved that hit and thoughts of it sent him back again to the moment with the Cajun plastered against the wall in front of him. Eyes squeezed shut.

"You'll leave," The Doctor whispered into the blackness behind closed lids. "They always leave. Or they're taken," that thought made him gasp a little. "They walk away. Back to their lives. You will, too." He was forgiving you in advance. "You'll see." Because you'd tire of the man who never changed. You'd find that a mundane life was the one you were meant to have. Or worse, you'd never get the opportunity because something would snatch you from him, Remy LeBeau. The Doctor accepted this, you should, too.

"Go."

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[info]ace_of_clubs
2009-09-19 11:06 pm UTC (link)
"For bein' 'de smar'es' guy I ever me', Docteur," There was the French version.. and he'd purred it out in a slow manner, let the word roll off his tongue like he loved the way it tasted and wanted to savor it. "You ain' so brigh' sometime. I ain' goin' no where. Ain' gonna leave ya, ain' no one gonna take me. I ain' Rose. I ain' delica'e or youn'," Okay, so he was young, but not as young as she was. "I ain' uh china doll, I tol' you 'dat. 'Dey take me an' I'm gonna make 'dem wish 'dey ain', no matter who 'dey are. I ain' goin' back t' my life, t' be unhappy an' marrie' t' uh woman I ha'e, an' on a team o' people don' trus' or wan' me. Ain' go' not'in' for me 'dere. An' here.. I go' everyt'in'." He meant you, Time Lord. You were everything.

"You see." He promised in a more quiet voice. "Dunno why you ain' ye'.. you gotta open y' eyes. M' here. Been here since I me' you. When you walke' 'way, when you t'rew me ou'. When you tol' me t' go 'way. When I ever lis'ene', huh? Ain' gonna star' now. M' stayin' righ' here. Wit' you. An' when you better, gonna stay wit' you an' drive you crazy. An' when you tell me t' go 'way, gonna tell you t' shu' up. 'Cause I ain' leavin'." Stuck with him. He'd told you that long ago, hadn't he? In later years, he'd have a brief few months where he'd be able to see into the future.. where he'd predict. Where he'd become an oracle, for a time.. but not yet. This was all just arrogance talking. "An' nei'ter are you."

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[info]fromgallifrey
2009-09-19 11:34 pm UTC (link)
He bristled when he heard Rose's name. Rose. He couldn't dream of what they might do to her. He started pushing his palms into the other man's shoulders at the thought. For all they did to the Doctor, for all he knew they could do to you, Remy; he couldn't fathom the thought of it happening to her. Perhaps it was because he'd failed already in protecting her. Perhaps it was because in the back of his mind he thought her weaker. Maybe it was because she meant more. Whatever the reason, the mere mention of her made him start to press his palms into the Cajun's shoulders, willing the other to separate.

He was bending his knees, undoing the wrapping of their legs and pulling them away and pushing his arms between their chests to try and get some air between them. "I can't let you," Eyes open and set dead upon the boy that clutched at him. "There's nothing keeping me from doing that again," you knew what. "Nothing. I thought I was stronger than.. I knew I.." Was he sobering up or just slipping back down again? "You can't," trust me.

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[info]ace_of_clubs
2009-09-19 11:39 pm UTC (link)
When those pushing hands came, he just tightened his arm and held on, refusing to allow the Time Lord to separate them. "I'm stoppin' you from doin' 'dat 'gain. I'm strong'r 'den you, I can stop you." He didn't need to stop himself. Not when it came right down to it. This Cajun could knock you to Hell and back without breaking a sweat, he was much stronger, you both knew it. Especially if he was panicked, you'd stand no chance.

And almost as if they were on the same brain wave, the red-head was leaning in a little and pressing their foreheads together. "I trus' you, Docteur. Know you gonna be okay, bu' you gotta stop bea'in' y'self up for wha' happene', an' wha's gonna happen, an' wha' migh' happen.. you ain' perfec'. An' if y' ever t'ough' you were, you was lyin' t' y'self. You gotta trus' me in return, you gotta lis'en t' me."

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[info]fromgallifrey
2009-09-19 11:50 pm UTC (link)
"Then you're thick," bloodstained lips replied. He wasn't thrashing yet. He wasn't trying to punch, either. He was just going to let his words do all the hitting. He'd turn off his ears and stop listening and just start rambling instead.

"You don't know what's happened. You have no idea. You can't trust a murderer, Gambit." Close the floodgates, Doctor. "You don't know anything about what happened. You don't know what I've done. What they did. What's coming. You don't know." The Doctor did, though. Or, at least he thought he did. A crack formed in the dam.

"I destroyed them all," he started, eyes gone dark. "I pressed a button and I incinerated them. I wiped them from time and space. I watched their atoms scatter." Did you know what he was talking about, Remy? "And then there weren't any more atoms. There weren't anymore bits of atoms. There was nothing - as if they'd never existed."

He swallowed hard, knotting his hands in the shoulders of the Cajun's shirt. "And then they came, metal all metal. Always metal. They came and they took everyone. They took everyone and made them into shells. They took everything away that mattered. No hope. No pain. Nothing. Just shells." He wasn't listening to himself because the water had knocked down all attempts to hold it back.

"And then they came for me. And they broke me. Bits and pieces. Again and again the planet died and broke as it was wiped from time. They played the screams so I couldn't even hear my own anymore. They took my tongue and my heart. They stole my eyes, and still I could see it. I could absolutely see it. And I could feel it... They took everything..." He'd fallen back into a trembling mess of sobs. You didn't see him break before. You didn't know what it had looked like, what it had sounded like. Now you did because he'd fallen to bits right there in front of your nose.

"So, don't you tell me that I've got to trust you, Gambit," He said with gritted, snarling teeth. "Because all I'll do is destroy you."

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[info]ace_of_clubs
2009-09-20 12:09 am UTC (link)
The red-head laid there silently as the Doctor began spilling information. And he breathed out slowly when he called himself a murderer. He wasn't going to argue. He could only imagine that the Doctor was talking about some false future the management had shown him. Some fairytale from the Devil's storybook. And the metal men? He didn't get that, either. But he'd just hold the other man close, whether he liked it or not, and made it clear he wasn't letting go.

Then he began talking about them breaking him, and red eyes slid shut. His Doctor, his Time Lord, his Lover was falling to pieces and the Cajun didn't know what to do aside from hold him. He solved all of his problems with sex, so comforting wasn't his forte. However, the Doctor then spoke up again, a growling tone through those sobs.

"You ain' gonna des'roy me. You migh' hur' me, migh' make me angry, make me wanna bea' you senseless.. migh' even make me wanna go. Bu' I ain' gonna go, gonna stay, an' gonna show you 'dat you can trus' me. M' stron', Docteur. M' gonna be fine, even 'gains' you." Even against you, he'd said. Even against the all-powerful Time Lord. The last of his kind. Remy could take you on and win, he was so sure of it. He'd fight you, for you, and he'd win. He couldn't lose. He had to win. He needed you.

"'Dey took par' o' you.. so lemme give you some o' me. Take wha' I wanna give you."

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[info]fromgallifrey
2009-09-20 12:17 am UTC (link)
You weren't understanding what he was telling you, Cajun -- and what he was saying was something that no one here knew aside from that other version of himself. Hands came up and pressed to the Cajun's cheeks, holding that face parallel with his own. "I destroyed it. I destroyed Gallifrey." You knew what Gallifrey was. "I wiped every single atom of my people from time and space. I pressed a button and they were gone. They were burning and I caused it. I didn't just cause it, I watched." In his mind he sounded so cold at he'd said it. He sounded so detached. To the Cajun, though, the Doctor no doubt sounded desperate. "Gone in minutes and I kept thinking I could push a button and set it right. If I could only find the button. If I could just remember the formula. I could do it, I could bring them all back. I could fix it." But, you couldn't fix it, could you Time Lord?

"I deserve this." He really believed it, too. He thought he did deserve it. Less so for that fiction they'd shown him of cybermen and screams and moreso for what they'd reminded him of: Genocide.

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[info]ace_of_clubs
2009-09-20 12:23 am UTC (link)
The Cajun seemed rather calm when the other man was just laying there.. but when his hands reached out so suddenly, he flinched a little. Sorry, Time Lord, you'd scared him really badly. He might do that for a bit. But when those hands settled, he'd quickly bring his own bare one up to trap the top one there, not letting him pull it away, just in case he was thinking of it. He wanted the touch. He really did. And as the other spoke, his face contorted a little, into confusion, worry, a touch of horror-- how could he have done that? Why had he done that? So with his next exhaled breath, he was asking that same question.

"Why?" Why had he done it? Not why did he deserve this, because that was obvious.. but why had he done it?

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[info]fromgallifrey
2009-09-20 12:31 am UTC (link)
"Every man, woman and child. Anyone in the whole of time and space like me and I wiped them out." He was yanking his hands, trying to knot them into fists between the Cajun's hands his cheeks, because he could feel the rage growing as he wanted to squeeze at the face between his palms, to make it hurt like he did.

"The Time War." And that was all you'd get in response. Those three words. That was why he'd done it. He won't be telling you of Daleks or the Eye of Rassilon. He won't be explaining what a time lock was or how it worked. Right now there was only one thing in the universe he knew for sure - it was that he deserved this pain.

"Because it's what I do, I destroy. The on-coming storm. The destroyer or worlds. I destroyed my own world." His voice had difted, softening as the Time Lord retreated into his own head - back into the gleaming orange glow of a planet set on fire.

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(no subject) - [info]ace_of_clubs, 2009-09-20 12:37 am UTC

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