InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "shadows and light"

Shannon Rutherford (ballerinadreams) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-09-09 20:21:00

Entry tags:

!active, day 22, ianto jones, location: museum, shannon rutherford

Day Twenty-Two, evening
Who: Ianto Jones & Shannon Rutherford
What: Much needed discussion a few days in the making.
Where: the museum
When: evening, around 5 or 6pm
Rating: PG to PG-13, depending on language and potential violent imagery
Status: Active

Something was eating Sam and Shannon couldn't tell what. Ever since he'd come back the previous night, something had been off. She couldn't tell whether it was or wasn't something that she'd done - or neglected to do - or if it had been something she said; couldn't tell whether he was still upset that she hadn't opened up to him about what had happened back on the Island, but she knew he was upset about something and wasn't sharing. Part of Shannon wondered if that was how he'd felt when she'd come back and hadn't wanted to talk. The other part of her knew it was.

Shannon was ready to talk and had no one to talk to. She didn't want to share with Sam, still, because she didn't think he'd understand and she had a feeling that he would spend too much time trying to make her feel better and not enough time just letting her tell her story to get it out and then file it away in the "pretend we never talked about it" section of their lives. Jack wouldn't understand, either. He couldn't die. It hadn't occurred to Shannon that because Jack couldn't die and could also travel in time, he would understand. He would probably understand the most out of anyone, but in Shannon's mind, she couldn't face the man who never died when she watched her brother expire for the second time. At least the first time she'd been spared witnessing it.

Mostly, Shannon just needed to get it out and she needed to talk to someone she knew and trusted; most specifically, Shannon wanted to talk to Ianto about it. And...only to Ianto about it. But, she didn't dare leave her room. She'd barricaded herself in even before Sam had asked her to and she was too afraid to vacate it, in case of an unexpected zombie still in the building. So, instead...she sat. And laid. And stared at walls or ceiling; sometimes back and forth between the two. When this whole thing blew over, she'd go to Ianto and they could go on their jog. She could talk to him. She could trust him not to tell anyone, including Jack. When this whole thing blew over, Shannon could confide in someone again.

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madeinwales
2009-09-25 02:43 pm UTC (link)

As soon as the door opened, Ianto slipped in quickly, then shoved the door shut again. It was a good thing that she kept the door closed, even if it made things a bit awkward. Setting his baseball bat down, Ianto went above shoving the barricade back into place, making certain that they were safe again. "Smart one, you, piling stuff in front of the door. Our room doesn't have this stuff in it, but I found a bat and I fancied myself alright in cricket."

A moment later, he opened his arms, asking silently if she'd like a hug. If she didn't, Ianto'd understand completely. Sometimes people (including himself) just didn't want to be touched. But he was thankful beyond belief that she was alright. That she was whole, even if her weight of sorrow seemed to have doubled.

"Talk to me," he asked softly. "Just to get it out, so it doesn't crush you."

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ballerinadreams
2009-09-26 12:35 am UTC (link)

Shannon gave a sheepish look and a non-commital shrug when Ianto complimented her for having thought to barricade the door. "Yeah, well..." she said softly, looking down. "I'd been barricading the front door back when it was just me, Sam, and the Doctor living here, but the more people that moved in, the harder it was to keep it blocked, you know?" She looked at the bat and smirked slightly. "Cricket, huh? You gonna knock their heads off with it?" she joked feebly.

When Ianto opened his arms to her, Shannon didn't hesitate to take up the opportunity for a hug, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face against his chest and closing her eyes. He'd asked her to talk to him and that was enough to open the floodgates. Tears flowed freely, wetting his shirt and she sobbed against him. "They sent me back there, Ianto," she gasped. "Sent me back to the Island and I watched Boone die."

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madeinwales
2009-09-30 12:14 am UTC (link)

Oh, Shannon. Ianto held her close and let her pour her grief out heedless of his dampening shirt. He only held tight. When Shannon's tears trickled to a stream instead of a flood, he eased them down to the floor, where they could sit with a bit more comfort.

"I couldn't imagine it," he murmured, cheek against her hair. "I couldn't imagine going back and being forced to watch .. to watch.. that." To watch his Lisa die all over again. "I'm so sorry. I'm just .. so sorry, love."

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ballerinadreams
2009-09-30 11:14 pm UTC (link)

There weren't really words for Shannon to express her appreciation for Ianto's silent comfort. She didn't want questions and she didn't want him to ask for details; when he didn't, she was grateful as she clung to him.

Shannon could feel Ianto press his cheek against her head as he said that he couldn't imagine the pain she'd gone through. His quiet consolation and lack of pushing for further explanation was all she needed. There wasn't a lot she could say in response except, "thank you..."

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madeinwales
2009-10-08 01:52 pm UTC (link)

Ianto was a master of things like this. And he could never understand the desire for people to make others relive what hurt them so badly. If it came out, it came out because it needed to. Forcing people to talk never helped anyone. So he held on and kissed her hair and murmured soothing things to the woman in his arms.

"Don't thank me," he murmured, rubbing a thumb against her cheek to wipe away tear tracks. "Friends should do this for one another." Which meant, naturally, that she was his friend. If she attempted to pull away, he'd hold on, too, keeping her warm and close. Unless she really wanted to move away, of course.

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ballerinadreams
2009-10-09 12:27 am UTC (link)

What Ianto was doing without even knowing it, was making Shannon feel safer and more relaxed than she had in a very long time. He wasn't asking anything in return for his comfort - he was loving her unconditionally and that was something with which Shannon was unfamiliar. Rather than pull away from the overwhelming feeling of it all, Shannon melted into it.

"News to me," she replied softly and smiled weakly against him. "I've never really had friend like you. Or Jack or anyone here," she added. "So then...thank you for that. For showing me that people like you aren't just in the movies."

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