InsaneJournal

Day Twenty - Mid-morning
Who: Shannon Rutherford and OTA
Where: The Theater
When: Day 20, mid-morning
What: Shannon finds herself back in Vas and finds that Jenny's been "released"
Rating: PG-13
Status: Active


Shannon awoke with a start. She was not in the jungle, nor was she in the bunker in Vas Captio. It took her a moment to realize where she really was. The stage of the theater. Maybe the whole thing had just been a really bad dream. "Sam..." she thought aloud, frowning.

It had only been one day for her, but then again, she'd woken up the day that Boone had died. Fallen asleep with Ianto on the couch in the bunker...woken up on the beach with Boone's arms around her, as per their usual routine. She remembered the day from when she'd lived it the first time. He'd woken up, gathered his things in a backpack and started off. When Shannon had asked where he was going, he'd said he was going off with Locke and she needed to chill out. The look on his face would have been priceless when he tried to shake her off as she clung to him begging him not to go.

"Shan," he'd said, "do you want food or not? We're going hunting. I'll be back tonight; I always am. Why don't you go off with your Arab buddy? That's what you usually would do anyway, isn't it?" And then, he'd walked off. She knew she'd never see him alive again.

Shannon had been frozen on the beach trying to figure out what to do with herself. The Doctor spoke of time and space and how they weren't always linear. He'd said that she had to call him John Smith because a former version of himself had shown up at Vas Captio and for the sanity of his friend who had also been pulled in, he had to be someone he wasn't. The fake had to be the Doctor and the actual had to be a man of anonymity. He'd said that telling Rose would ruin the future.

As she had watched Boone disappear behind the tree line toward his death, she stood there and cried. She should stop it, shouldn't she? She had the chance to save her brother's life and she should do it. Except something about the sacrifice the Doctor had been willing to make to keep from rupturing the sanctity of what would be his friend's future made Shannon stay rooted to the spot, her shorts itchy with sand and shirt stuck to her skin with sweat.

She'd followed him quietly. Sat in the jungle behind a tree and watched him fall. Followed Locke back to the caves and hid behind the rocks and bamboo; she listened to him lie about how Boone had hurt himself and forced herself not to chase him when he fled while Jack's back was turned.

Tears had run down her cheeks and she'd held both her hands firmly over her mouth to keep from sobbing aloud while she watched Jack give his own blood. She knew Jack was wasting his efforts and because of the Doctor, Shannon hid and said nothing. She'd watched Boone struggling, heard his last words. "Tell Shannon...tell Shannon...tell..." She'd never know what he'd wanted to say. She'd watched him die, watched Jack close her brother's eyes; watched everything and said nothing and resented the Doctor for making her believe somewhere deep down that what she was doing was the right thing.

Shannon's chest heaved as she looked around the empty theater, Boone's screams still in her ears and her face still wet with her own tears of rage and pain and despair. How long had she been gone? Or had it all been a nightmare and she hadn't been gone at all? The fact that there was a new kit beside her on the stage made her stomach churn; made her think she'd been gone. Maybe for a while. So, the first thing she did was pull out the journal and pour her angst out onto the page for no one except the Insider to see. Let him. Let him see. Maybe if he saw how she felt, he'd leave her alone for a while. And then...she let anyone who might still be around that cared about her know that she was alive. And still here in the Glass Cage.

Putting the journal away again, Shannon stood and shakily made her way down off the stage and toward the staircase leading down to the green room of the theater. Jenny stayed there, if she remembered right, and Shannon felt that she could really use a friend. One who wasn't Sam. "Jenny?" she called out reluctantly, heading down the stairs and cursing the fact that the Insider couldn't even be bothered to give her back her torch. Navigating the staircase in the dark wasn't as difficult now as it probably would have been a long time ago, but Shannon's eyes had taught themselves to adjust to darkness quickly between the Island and here. "Jenny, it's Shannon," she added as she got to the bottom of the stairs. "Hello?"

There was a sign on the door and even before reaching out for it, Shannon's stomach dropped. Released, it said. Taking a deep breath and setting her jaw as she folded the note neatly and stuffed it into her bra, Shannon wiped at her eyes and headed back up the stairs. Maybe now she was alone. Maybe if she went back to the museum, it would be empty and cold. Maybe everyone was gone.

Making her way outside, Shannon stopped on the steps and stared. Birds lined the roof of the library across the street a little ways down, lined the dirt road and the railings around the front doors of the theater. A solitary one seemed to notice her and as it dive-bombed toward her from the roof of the library, Shannon slipped back into the theater, slamming the door behind herself and cringed at the dull thump of the bird hitting the other side. "What the hell..." she breathed. And then after a pause, she called out again. "Hello?!" If Jenny wasn't here, maybe someone else was.