dǫçţǫŗ şɭęęƥ (shone) wrote in valloic, @ 2021-02-20 18:22:00 |
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A part of her felt weird about showing up to the clinic to talk with someone she’d only seen around on the network, but she trusted Lucifer’s instincts most of the time, and if he said that Dan was the best person to talk to about this… well, then he was the best person to talk to about this. But there was no denying that she was nervous about the whole thing, you know? Vallo was cool, but there were still parts of it she just wasn’t used to and a lot of that came down to the magic of the place. If only because that was still really new to her. Dan seemed nice enough though, even if she 1) couldn’t believe he was the same Dan from The Shining and 2) looked a hell of a lot like Ewan McGregor, which was only slightly off-putting. “Okay, so.” She sighed a little, trying to keep herself from pacing once they were in the room, though her leg bounced as she sat. Too much energy. “Um, Lucifer suggested I come and see you.” Beyond the usual rounds where the bulk of his nursing work lay at the clinic, there was also the work Dan did with the Snooze Room - that was the niche he’d carved out, and if someone was coming to see him specifically it was (nine times out of ten) due to problems they were having at meeting the Sandman on a regular basis. He kept the Snooze Room at a cool temperature on purpose - a temperature that allowed for the body to slip into an easy sleep, and the walls were always blue (a color to promote relaxation and calm, this shade a powdery sunset that gleamed against a glacier). The smooth wooden furniture was homey (there was a table and chairs, along with a dresser), the bed comfortable, and he changed the sheets to reflect the season just to add a little fun and spice to the room, some personality - now they were white, printed with little black hearts and were made of cozy cotton. The lighting was warm as buttered toast, and that was no accident either. Harsh fluorescents didn’t really make for a relaxing time - he still could see what he was writing, however, going over the little bit of admittance paperwork he’d gotten from Ella. He sat at the table, tucking his pen back into his scrubs pocket - this was one pen he’d managed to keep track of; it didn’t yet go to the place all lost left socks disappeared to in the dryer, for example. “No problem,” he smiled reassuringly - it seemed like Ella was nervous, and while he could flex the Shining to bring her a sense of calm he’d just ease into that. “Will you tell me about your dreams? And how you’ve been sleeping?” The room was nice, she had to admit that, and a part of her felt like the only thing missing was a cozy fleece blanket to burrito herself in and a mug of hot cocoa with marshmallows. Which definitely helped with the sense of comfort she needed. Not that the apartment she was staying in wasn’t that, but it also wasn’t home for her. She missed her apartment and her bed, and a lack of both of those had made the nights here harder. “I haven’t been sleeping the greatest, which I guess is why I’m here, just… dumb stuff from back home.” Ella’s nose crinkled a bit and she looked down at her bouncing leg. “Okay, it’s not dumb, but I was fine when I got here, you know? And then the more time that goes by, the more like it feels like I let my walls down and it’s just… it sucks. Is that a thing that can happen? Like, delayed crappy dreams after something happening?” Of course it was a thing that could happen, that was called PTSD and Ella knew that but she also -- at least to a point -- needed the validation that she wasn’t being ridiculous. “Dreams reflect what we see and what we feel when we’re awake - it’s common to have crappy dreams after something traumatic happening, and there’s no time limit on it,” Dan assured. Just because someone didn’t have dreams immediately didn’t mean they were free from PTSD; the brain was a funny sort of mish-mosh, and scientists were constantly studying its functions and usage. The bouncing leg definitely caught his attention, but he wouldn’t comment on it specifically. “What you’re feeling is normal,” he said instead, and there it went - just a little flex of the Shining, calm, unfurling like a scroll - a summer’s day, the evening sunset. The serenity of a clean, private beach. “But if your sleep is suffering, I can definitely help with that - it’s unfortunately like a vicious cycle, because the less sleep you get, the harder it is for the brain to process what happened and kind of file it away.” Options varied, so he’d let Ella choose what was best for her. “I can give you some tips that you can try, in order to get better sleep - or I’ve recently started teaching folks to lucid dream. That’s commonly used to treat PTSD nightmares, if that’s something you’d be interested in learning. Either way, you’re also welcome to take a nap here and get some rest to feel refreshed.” He could help with that too, obviously. “Can I ask what your dreams are about? If you don’t want to go into stuff from back home, that’s fine though.” She took a deep breath and then let it out, suddenly feeling some kind of calm wash over her. Ella wouldn’t have been able to explain it even if she wanted to, other than acknowledging it as the feeling of her anxiety lifting enough that her leg slowed a bit. “I mean, the lucid dreaming might help?” Anything that kept her from dreaming about Pete’s hands on her throat again and again and again. “Okay, so,” another breath. “Right before I showed up here, I, uh… found out that the guy I’d been dating was actually a serial killer, and he caught me right after I found that out and…” She brought a hand up to her throat, feigning the act of being choked, eyes rolling back in her head a little for the dramatic effect of it before she lowered her hand with a nervous laugh. “Basically my dreams are about that. Every night.” Being attacked by a former boyfriend was definitely something Dan would file under ‘PTSD.’ Also the fact that the guy had been a serial killer probably didn’t help matters. “Lucid dreaming is actually a really effective method for dealing with nightmares,” he stated. “It helps you stop the nightmare in its tracks, and take control of it - so you’re basically rewriting the story, and overcoming fears. Plus I tend to think it's a great aid in emotional healing as well." Now that he talked it up, he’d see about forming a plan. Plans were good. “Alright, so first thing - keep a dream journal,” he advised, reaching into one of the dresser drawers where he had his Better Sleep checklists (complete with at least one dumb sleep joke at the top and the paper printed with clouds) and handing one over; it just had standard tips that would help for something more restful, like sticking to a waking-up-and-falling-asleep schedule and no alcohol or smoking before bed, etc. Not the end all, be all but doing these things wouldn’t hurt either. “Write down details about every dream you have. It doesn’t even matter if you’re dreaming about the same thing because finding common themes will help you identify lucid dream triggers.” He had Nick going through the steps - you had to walk before you could run, and that sort of thing - and it definitely didn’t happen overnight, but once someone taught their brain that little trick, it was extremely beneficial. Well, having the ability to stop a nightmare in progress and take control of whatever was happening would be very helpful. Maybe instead of waking up feeling like she was being choked in the worst way, she’d actually get to punch Pete in the face repeatedly. High hopes over here. Ella took the checklist that he’d handed her and looked it over quietly, reading the joke and smirking to herself before going through the list one by one, trying to commit them to memory. It would take time, that was for sure. “So even if it’s one of those dreams where you wake up and can’t really remember anything but the feeling it leaves you with, write that down? Like… I don’t know how helpful that is but I can do that, I think.” Plus it gave her an excuse to buy a cute, new journal. “Yes, exactly. Write down anything and everything. While it’s still fresh in your mind.” Some people used a tape recorder instead of a journal, Dan found, and they clicked it on as soon as they woke up - so it was really up to the individual person. He’d definitely advocate for buying a cute journal, however. (Also he was delighted that joke on the checklist didn’t get an eyeroll - What dinosaur makes the most noise when they’re asleep? Tyrannosnoreus). “Reality checks too,” he added. “Do them ten times a day.” He had Nick studying clocks, or book pages, and feet and hands because those often appeared distorted in dreams but he’d go for something else with Ella - because everyone was different; their brains operated differently as well. “It sounds strange, but hold your nose - try to breathe through it. You can’t, in the waking world - but eventually you’ll get used to doing this same check when you’re dreaming, and you’ll notice that in a free dreamworld you can breathe while holding your nose so your brain is suddenly switched on to the fact that you’re dreaming. Do this for a week or so, then come back and we can move on to the next step.” He didn’t want to pile on everything at once - learning to lucid dream took a few weeks, but it would come. Like anything else. “Oh, and - do you want to sleep here?” he asked then. “I can help you take a nap. Kind of observe what’s going on, and make sure you’re rested.” Ella had heard of doing reality checks before, it worked mainly for anxiety and panic disorders, but somehow she wasn’t at all shocked to hear that it was something used for lucid dreaming as well. At his request, she lifted a hand and plugged the end of her nose, trying to breathe through it and raising an eyebrow at him. She felt kind of silly, but suspected he knew what he was talking about. He seemed to, anyway, and if he came at Lucifer’s recommendation then she trusted him. Between the little flex of Shining he’d already done on her and the ambiance of the room, she felt like a nap was exactly what the doctor ordered and she gave him a small nod. “A nap would be nice.” She shifted a little and moved over to the bed in the room, sitting on the edge of it as she slipped her shoes off. “You’re sure you don’t mind?” Dan shook his head, “No, of course not. That’s why I’m here.” Why he’d set up the room - not too hot, not too cold, but just right. Very Goldilocks. A lot of folks were hesitant to slip into the bed and sink down beneath the covers - he had to do some convincing, and reassurance that he wasn’t going to melt anyone’s brain and he didn’t blame potential nappers for that - but he was glad that Ella seemed pretty open to the idea. She was already settling in, so he grabbed one of the chairs and dragged it over so he could sit by her bedside when she was all settled. “Get yourself comfy and when you do, think of something happy for me. A memory that you love. It can be anything.” Ella wasn’t really one to shy away from trying new things. She might hesitate for a moment, but you gotta live in the now, right? Plus Dan seemed trustworthy and she just felt good about him, so what was there to be worried about? As she settled in and got comfortable, she breathed out a quiet sigh and looked up at the ceiling for a moment before looking back over at him. “Oh man, okay… umm.” It took her a moment to find her happy thought, but when she did the change was immediate and she smiled to herself, thinking about when she was younger and curled in her grandmother’s lap after helping her cook in the kitchen. Or trying to help her, anyway. She was young enough that she hadn’t really been too much help at that point but at least she was spending quality time with her. It was a sweet memory - innocent, like a page of freshly fallen snow. But the warmth of it felt like a wood stove, the silver dawn of a new day; Dan focused on that, on letting the positive sensations spiral outward and be with Ella each time she took a breath. In and out, the heat blanket covered her - giving her mind someplace soothing to snuggle up in. People who used the Snooze Room for naps often said that it was some of the best rest they’d ever gotten - and he considered it high praise. They didn’t have to toss and turn, no need to count sheep or count backwards from one-hundred. Rather, it was simply falling into welcoming, calm waters - he didn’t do anything abruptly or harshly. Just pulled the psychic curtains closed with a murmured sleep, so the mind knew what to do - and he helped it get there, guiding, as he always did. Oh. Drifting off didn’t seem like it was going to be an issue at all and even though there was an impulse to fight it, she didn’t and let the warmth of the memory envelope her as sleep came. Ella was never really the sort to fall asleep right away, always struggling to get just comfortable enough, but today was going to be different and she expected that she’d feel loads better by the time she woke up -- even if it was for only an hour or so. |