InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "DANNY DEVITO!"

dǫçţǫŗ şɭęęƥ (shone) wrote in valloic,
@ 2020-09-02 10:13:00

Entry tags:

!: action/thread/log, ₴ inactive: dan torrance

WHO: Dan & Stan
WHAT: Donuts, a catch-up, and asking an important question
WHERE: Griddy's
WHEN: After this (backdated)
WARNINGS: Not really!
STATUS: Complete

Stan looked down at his donut, blueberry with a lemon glaze and decidedly his favorite at Griddy's, then back up at Dan. They hadn't talked much over dinner. It was hard to talk and eat burgers at the same time, so there had been a sort of unspoken agreement that their discussion could wait until they had their post-dinner donuts. It had, of course, also been a good way to ensure that post-dinner donuts actually happened. Not that he'd been trying to manipulate the situation to get a donut or anything. Definitely not.

"I'm really happy for you and Allison," he said again. "I'm glad that you found her here."

Dan liked Griddy’s. He always had, ever since it appeared in Vallo - he always associated it with Klaus, however, even if it technically belonged to the homeworld of all the Hargreeves siblings. But the donuts were good, circles shaped like perfect smoke rings, and the inside of the place smelled like rich vanilla sugar and coffee.

The coffee was decent too, now that he thought about it - and he needed a jolt, since he had work later on and would be up late. Even just the scent of roasted beans invigorated his senses, when the cup was slid under his nse. His donut was an old-fashioned kind, citrusy and bright; the glaze cut nicely with the cake part. And he supposed he didn’t mind a donut for dessert after an actual dinner, even if a greasy cheeseburger wasn’t the healthiest thing. Definitely tasty, though.

“Thanks,” he smiled, a bit shy. Boyish. “I’m glad we found each other.” Never did he think he would be this happy, or engaged - not when all his ‘relationships’ in the past had been complete dumpster fires. “You’re...happy too?”

He’d gone to take pictures of Stan and Bill before the ball and discovered it was a triple date or something and he’d been confused, but. As long as Stan was happy. He just had to make sure.

He hadn't known what to think when Dan and Allison had first gotten together. A stupid, childish part of him had been jealous. Because Dan had been a person he could rely on and he hadn't really wanted to share him with anyone. But Allison was so warm and kind and just really wonderful, and he'd realized pretty quickly that it was stupid to feel that way. Now, he was just glad that Dan had someone who made him happy. If anyone deserved that, it was Dan. He did so much for everyone else, and he deserved to have good things and good people in his life. And Allison was one of the best people. It was weird to think that without Vallo, they never would have met, considering how perfect they were together. Then again, without Vallo, he'd never have met Dan either, and that was pretty awful to think about. Dan had been so good to him and he couldn't imagine not having him around.

"I am...happy," he said. Happiness was a complicated thing for him, but he was. He honestly was happy. "Therapy is going really well and my therapist thinks I'm making really good progress. We've been working on balancing my meds and that's helping too..." He trailed off. There was something he needed to tell Dan on the happiness front. He hadn't exactly been avoiding it, because he knew Dan wouldn't judge, but it just hadn't come up.

He took a sip of his coffee as he considered how to broach the subject, before deciding it was probably best to just come out with it. Like ripping off a bandaid.

"There is...uh...so I'm dating Mike now," he said. Okay, that didn't explain anything. "Or...I mean...I'm still dating Bill! We didn't break up with him or anything. But I'm also dating Mike. Bill and I are both dating Mike. The three of us are dating. It's...all three of us are dating each other. It's good...it's really nice. I'm really happy about it."

Oh, uh. What?

That was the main question Dan had - it popped up as soon as Stan said he was dating Mike, because of course but what about Bill was very much an inquiry, but. He just shut up and listened. And let Stan explain.

He may not really understand, but he definitely wouldn't judge - he had no place to, even if dating two people really wasn't a preference he personally would have chosen. Sure, he'd rolled from bed to bed, seeking out warmth and someone's company even in less than savory places (a bus stop bathroom, a place like that he could barely recall, the memory fuzzy and partially eaten away by alcohol) - but that was more a one-on-one thing. And definitely nothing that required maturity to juggle it all.

"I'm glad for you - I mean, you're obviously old enough to make your own choices in that regard," he said, hands wrapped around his coffee cup to take a sip. "Just - if either of them hurt you, they're gonna have to answer to me."

So he was a little bit ‘protective dad.’ Sue him.

Stan was really glad that Dan was so understanding. He's pretty sure other parents might have at least had questions. Probably really awkward questions. And there weren't any of those, thankfully. Though there was a flash of something in his head that he tried very hard not to think about, shoving a piece of donut in his mouth to avoid asking what that was and why Dan's brain had gone there and just...why? Best to just pretend that never happened. For both their sakes.

Right. Dan had said things and they were nice and supportive and all around great. And he couldn't help but smile because it really was so nice to have a parent who just wanted him to be happy.

"I'm...really happy with them," he said with a small smile that cracked into a grin at the threat. "I'll make sure they know that you have a shovel ready...or whatever it is people do."

That had gone smoothly. "But it's your turn," he said. "You said you had something you wanted to talk about." Anything to put off the college talk just a little longer. Because he knew that was next on Dan's agenda. College talk wasn't even necessarily bad, it was just going to be a lot. Probably. Better to ease into it.

Better not to ask. Dan was pretty connected with Stan, via the Shining, always tuned to his radio to let it play in the background in case he ever needed help or got into trouble - but he didn't really pry about anything. Still, the flashes of thoughts, in vivid bursts, in strong colors and feelings - they couldn't be helped sometimes; drops of water, sizzling on a hot stove over a boiling pot.

But no, he wouldn't go there. He'd focus on what he wanted to ask Stan anyway.

"Got the shovel ready and a cover story," he chuckled, breaking off a piece of sticky donut. "As for the other thing, well - "

He and Allison hadn't really started planning much yet - they were still in the engagement euphoria, the happiness that felt like a warm summer's night, when they had the windows of the B&B room open and were breathing in air kissed by salt. However, they talked a little to kick things off, and Dan himself knew at least one thing.

"You'll be my best man?" he wanted to know, blue eyes hopeful.

They often picked up on stray thoughts from one another. Stan was more tuned into Dan than he was with probably anyone, aside from maybe the other Losers. It made sense, given they shared the Shine and also Dan had helped him so much with coming to terms with his own abilities. The unfortunate side effect was the occasional awkward moment like this that they both tried to avoid addressing or talking about. It was just easier to ignore it and pretend that it hadn't happened.

It was just a hazard of being the way they were, and Stan could handle it if it meant having Dan around for support and guidance and family.

"I promise to give you a really good alibi if you have to bury one of my boyfriends," he assured him. He took a bite of his donut and had thankfully swallowed before Dan's question or he might have choked in his surprise.

He hadn't expected it, but it made sense once he thought about it. Still, he couldn't help but feel touched and a little overwhelmed by the question. It meant more to him than he could say that Dan wanted him to play a part in something as important as his wedding.

"Of course," he said. "I'd love to."

“Oh, good,” Dan exhaled - he hadn’t been nervous about it, per se, but maybe a part of him thought that Stan wouldn’t want the responsibility, with everything else going on. Though it was likely just - being in charge of keeping watch over the rings, making sure no one wore an ill-fitting outfit, giving a speech at the reception, and...well, that was basically the extent of it? He probably wouldn’t be the only one giving a speech too, so. Wouldn’t be too bad.

He stirred his coffee a little, adding more creamer. The stuff from those little pull-tab packets that contained all those chemicals. Yum. “I promise it won’t interfere with school or anything,” he said. “You all set?”

Dan was about ready. He had all his supplies, and his books for nursing school classes. When he’d been enrolled in the CNA program he’d been able to work full time, and now he had his certification - but nursing school was a whole other animal so he’d be cutting back while being a diligent student.

Stan drank his own coffee black. He liked the bitterness, especially in contrast to sweet things. Every so often he drank one of those sugary Starbucks drinks that Richie seemed to like best, but mostly he just liked black coffee. The others had joked that he was the embodiment of that John Mulaney bit where the dad takes the kids to the McDonalds drive-thru and just orders one black coffee and leaves, if the dad was an eighteen year old.

"You had to know I'd say yes," he said with a small, fond smile. Dan could be just as insecure as him sometimes. And now they were back around to school. "I'm..." he sighed. "It'll be fine. I'm anxious, but I'm always anxious. It's change and it's big, but I'm looking forward to it."

He picked at his donut. "It's funny," he said, pausing to eat one of the pieces he'd picked off of the donut. "I was always going to major in accounting, back home. I don't even know that it's what I actually wanted to do, but I'm good at math and numbers and it just...it made sense. And it would have been boring and...I would have been fine, but...I came here. And I met you. And you helped me see that there's more than just...being fine. And so...I'm not doing that. I'm actually..." He looked up and gave Dan a small smile. "I'm actually going to study to be a teacher. I figure I can work with kids and listen to them. And help if they need it. All the things we wished the teachers would do in Derry. And it'll just be...good. Really good."

He took another sip of coffee. "What about you?" he asked. "Are you all ready for school?"

Stan sitting here saying he was inspired to become a teacher, because of him - well, that actually had Dan a little misty-eyed. He never thought he’d be much of an inspiration, or a role model, because of the trainwreck he’d been for so long - it took him a long time to stop seeing the faces of everyone he’d hurt on his downward spiral, whenever he closed his eyes. He’d think of the debts he owed, his mind always going, reliving the instances where he’d fucked up.

But things were different now, and he didn’t go in that direction anymore - he was beginning to think that the mistakes he made, he paid for them. And he wanted to be happy, and help others.

“That’s great, Stan,” he encouraged, lines at the corners of blue eyes deepening when he smiled genuinely. “I’m really proud of you. I know you’ll make a fantastic teacher.”

He cleared his throat, voice still a little crackly with emotion. But not in a bad way, of course. “I think I’m ready - got all I need, all my books and supplies. Nursing school’s hard, from what I hear, but I want to power through it so that’s what I’m going to do.” Having the CNA certification helped - it was kind of like a good stepping stone to where he was now.

Stan couldn't help but grin at the sincere encouragement and belief Dan always seemed to have for him, ducking his head in a shyly pleased manner. All his life it had felt like he was striving for some unattainable ideal, some unreachable goal that would finally make his father proud of him. And every failure had left him feeling worthless. Like he would never earn the love and acknowledgement he desperately needed. It had exacerbated his anxiety and his other mental health issues and often sent him spiralling.

But it was never like that with Dan. Dan just supported him, no matter what. It was awesome and confusing and he wouldn't trade it for anything.

"Thanks, dad," he said. "It...really means a lot, that you're proud of me. I...I really hope I'll be a good teacher."

He listened as Dan talked about nursing school, smiling to himself. "Well, I think you'll be great at it," he said. "You're really smart and you care about people and you don't give up. I think those are the most important things. And if you want, I can help you study and stuff."

“We’d make good study partners,” Dan agreed which, yes, he was definitely into the idea of teaming up. Maybe they weren’t studying the same subjects, but they could quiz each other on the material and involve flash cards or something. If that wasn’t too outdated (did people even still use flashcards? He was pretty sure he brought it up to Sabrina once and got the you’re so old reaction, but anyway). “And we’ll continue working on polishing your Shine too.”

There was no way he’d give that up - Stan was making good progress and there were all sorts of new things to learn. He was here for the long haul (he hoped), so, he’d be there for the ones he promised to be there for.

As long as the Vallo stars continued to align, anyway.

"Oh we'd be the best study partners," Stan said enthusiastically. "Color coded notes and so many flashcards." Because Stan was still a nineties teen at heart and flash cards were definitely a thing. "We're going to have the most organized study sessions anyone has ever seen. It'll be great." He really hoped he wasn't being embarrassing in his excitement about studying.

Then Dan brought up continuing to work on his Shine and Stan smiled even wider. "That would be great," he said. "There's so much I want to learn. Abra told me all kinds of things and I sort of just want to see what all I'm capable of. You know?"

He paused. "I know I say it a lot," he said, "but I hope you know I'm really glad I met you...and that I get to be a part of your family."

The mention of Abra made Dan smile wistfully, as he went for the last pieces of his donut - only crumbs were left now, and he chased all that with the remaining coffee. He wished he had more time with his niece but it apparently wasn’t meant to be - she was only here for a few weeks before whatever forces were at play took her away again. Which was okay - she was better off back home anyway.

Or at least, that was what he kept telling himself so it didn’t hurt so much.

“You’ll always be part of my family,” he promised, and he meant that. In the same world or apart, it didn’t matter. There were just some things, or feelings, you didn’t forget - even if it was merely a whisper in the back of your mind.

"You'll always be part of my family too," Stan said. He was sure that even if he ended up back in Derry, part of him would always keep this connection to Dan. Even being separated by worlds wouldn't take it away.

He laughed, ducking his head. "We should probably stop being sappy in the donut shop," he said after a moment, "or people are going to start looking at us weird." Not that he really cared. Let people stare if they wanted. It wasn't his problem. He'd come a long way from constantly needing everyone's approval.

"Thanks for this, dad," he said. "I know we both have a lot going on, but I'm going to be better about making sure I always have time for you."

“That’d be great - I won’t complain about spending more time together,” Dan agreed. He knew Stan was busy, and had that house full of his friends, and so Dan definitely didn’t want to take away from that. But it was nice to see him too, to just have dinner together or something.

Or donuts, as it were.

He reached for his wallet, procuring enough cash to pay for everything - and leaving a tip, of course. “Alright, the sap session has concluded,” he teased. “I’ll let you get back to...teenage things.” And next year, Stan wouldn’t even be a teenager at all - ah, they grew up so fast, didn’t they?

“I definitely wouldn’t complain either,” Stan assured his father-figure. They were both busy with lives and work and school and all kinds of things, but he was glad to have moments like this, where he could just catch up with Dan. He didn’t want to drift apart from him. He hoped they would be in each other’s lives for a long time.

“Well, almost concluded,” Stan corrected as they stood up to leave the table. Stepping forward, he hugged Dan tightly for a brief moment. “You’re really great.” He grinned. “Now the sap session is concluded.”