You'd be surprised how common mass hysteria and mass hallucinations are. I too hallucinated that I saw a goose stealing my favorite hat. Was the goose there? Was the hat there? Probably not!
So, take it from me, Harley Quinn, PhD, on what to do during these troubling times.
Tip Number One: Sanity is Overrated. Nothing makes things worse than to worry about something you can't change. Make a list of the way your quirks, ticks and multiple psychological diagnoses make you unique. Learn to love you.
Tip Number Two: Sometimes The People In Your Head Are Really Quite Helpful. Did I really need that hat? Did I even like that fucking hat? Maybe I put it somewhere really important so that I do something I forgot about later. Who knows! The mind is a complicated place.
Tip Number Three: The Goose May Be a Stressed Induced Mass Hallucination But Lizard People Are Totally Real. They mostly work in the IRS and other low level government positions and have blackmail on every president and first lady ever in the White House. Usually sex stuff. Stupid lizard people never share the good blackmail though, so feel free to kick them in the balls if you ever uncover one.
Which brings us to Point F! It isn't Joker Venom and I totally am not responsible for this.
Tip Number Five: Does Vallo Have an IRS? I don't really know the answer to this, I'm just asking in case I also get money or income that I have no intention of reporting.
Tip Number Six: Now Is Probably Not the Time to Kill Geese. Generally speaking, in a mass hallucination, you could end up taking your frustration out on someone else and really hurt them! While sometimes fun, not usually an appropriate outlet for a charged emotional state. Remember, the goose isn't there. If you see a goose, seek psychological counseling or just go with tip number one.
Tip Number Seven: Don't Fuck the Geese Either. See above.
Tip Number Eight: Even If Vallo Doesn't Have An IRS It Probably Still Has Lizard People. They're everywhere. Trust me. Just don't let them see this post or they'll know I'm onto them.
Tip Number Nine: Geese Are Mean. That's just a fact. But you still shouldn't feed them bread because it's not good for their digestive health.
Tip Number Ten: Geese Are Mean, Even Ones That Only Exist In Your Head. You still probably shouldn't feed them bread because then it's just a waste and you'll get ants.
Tip Number Eleven: Exercise. That's just good for your physical, mental and psychological well-being.
Tip Number Twelve: Don't Date The Geese Either. I get it. You're coming to terms with your hallucination, and with yourself. Geese got that whole alpha male thing that comes with confidence and some people find that very reassuring and attractive. But look, let's say you set your issues aside and still end up with the goose. It's not going to end well. He'll just be abusive and controlling and ask you to wear stupid clothes you'd never pick out for yourself. Trust me. It ain't worth it.
Tip Number Thirteen: I forget. Moving on.
Which brings me to Point the Last! I'm not judging you at all for seeing the goose. I saw it too, and I've been seeing things for years. I'm sure you're all gunna be peaches!