vallo

Why is it everything I own is in knots. Even the straps of my armor, which is impressive in a way because how even.

I don't know what an Instant Pot is, but I don't think it's supposed to be in my bed.

Hi. I'm Korra. Asami wo Someone I know would be really impressed by the stuff here. And I enjoyed the mover! Way more realistic than Varrick's. Just, I have a world to be in and people I care about, so being here is not really what I'd like. I know no one can send me home, so I guess it's just wishful thinking.

Now, I have never been one to bother with geese before. They are a most unwieldy creature and I prefer my fingers attached. That being said, I seem rather unable to find a seat in this current establishment due to a goose taking every seat I attempt to sit in. Whatever witchcraft this is, I am not interested in continuing with this. However, as it stands, I suppose I am also standing until further notice. Or this place will be down a goose. Either way.

I don't consider myself a particularly violent individual, but if these geese keep deciding to trip me, we might be having roast goose for dinner one evening soon.

[Grog unsuccessfully tried to send this to just Pike. Instead it's open to everyone.]

Hey, so, you remember when I told you about those cards that made the sword? The ones that Vex took and then gave back but didn't and then did? Well when I woke up the other day, they were just under my pillow. So I think I like, conjured them in my sleep. With my magic that I don't always know how to access but is definitely there.

Anyway, so what if we pull a bunch of cards and get weapons, or if it can make a way home or a giant sandwich or something?

[Locked to Sara Lance]
I've seen your announcements about classes and training. You seem to be covered for swordplay, and my knowledge doesn't carry over to monsters and creatures from other worlds to try to teach that.

I wondered if anyone might be interested in less offense-based classes. I've offered to teach a few people to ride and thought maybe it might be something more might like. I could teach mounted combat for advanced students as well. But since the weapons here are more than I am used to, I mostly just though people might want to learn to ride. Likely a stupid impulse, but the only other skill I have. If it's not something that there's any interest in officially offering, I'll just teach the few I know.
[/Locked to Sara]

I haven't had any run ins with a goose, but I did see one heading south around the edge of town earlier. It seemed very intent for a bird.

You'd be surprised how common mass hysteria and mass hallucinations are. I too hallucinated that I saw a goose stealing my favorite hat. Was the goose there? Was the hat there? Probably not!

So, take it from me, Harley Quinn, PhD, on what to do during these troubling times.

Tip Number One: Sanity is Overrated. Nothing makes things worse than to worry about something you can't change. Make a list of the way your quirks, ticks and multiple psychological diagnoses make you unique. Learn to love you.

Tip Number Two: Sometimes The People In Your Head Are Really Quite Helpful. Did I really need that hat? Did I even like that fucking hat? Maybe I put it somewhere really important so that I do something I forgot about later. Who knows! The mind is a complicated place.

Tip Number Three: The Goose May Be a Stressed Induced Mass Hallucination But Lizard People Are Totally Real. They mostly work in the IRS and other low level government positions and have blackmail on every president and first lady ever in the White House. Usually sex stuff. Stupid lizard people never share the good blackmail though, so feel free to kick them in the balls if you ever uncover one.

Which brings us to Point F! It isn't Joker Venom and I totally am not responsible for this.

Tip Number Five: Does Vallo Have an IRS? I don't really know the answer to this, I'm just asking in case I also get money or income that I have no intention of reporting.

Tip Number Six: Now Is Probably Not the Time to Kill Geese. Generally speaking, in a mass hallucination, you could end up taking your frustration out on someone else and really hurt them! While sometimes fun, not usually an appropriate outlet for a charged emotional state. Remember, the goose isn't there. If you see a goose, seek psychological counseling or just go with tip number one.

Tip Number Seven: Don't Fuck the Geese Either. See above.

Tip Number Eight: Even If Vallo Doesn't Have An IRS It Probably Still Has Lizard People. They're everywhere. Trust me. Just don't let them see this post or they'll know I'm onto them.

Tip Number Nine: Geese Are Mean. That's just a fact. But you still shouldn't feed them bread because it's not good for their digestive health.

Tip Number Ten: Geese Are Mean, Even Ones That Only Exist In Your Head. You still probably shouldn't feed them bread because then it's just a waste and you'll get ants.

Tip Number Eleven: Exercise. That's just good for your physical, mental and psychological well-being.

Tip Number Twelve: Don't Date The Geese Either. I get it. You're coming to terms with your hallucination, and with yourself. Geese got that whole alpha male thing that comes with confidence and some people find that very reassuring and attractive. But look, let's say you set your issues aside and still end up with the goose. It's not going to end well. He'll just be abusive and controlling and ask you to wear stupid clothes you'd never pick out for yourself. Trust me. It ain't worth it.

Tip Number Thirteen: I forget. Moving on.

Which brings me to Point the Last! I'm not judging you at all for seeing the goose. I saw it too, and I've been seeing things for years. I'm sure you're all gunna be peaches!

» I owe you an apology per usual.
» Zee showing up with a kid rattled me and I was a right wanker about it.

Very rarely do I wear a hat. The first time I wear a hat in this reality, my favorite hat, and it goes missing.

[ the hat ends up on a goat at the Barns ]

( Filtered to Sara Lance )

Hey so, super weird, no, Ray, different word odd request but is there anyone who wouldn't mind volunteering their voice for a project I'm working on. It's for science and the Defense Department... mostly the Defense Department.

( Read more... )

Well, this is certainly different isn't it? Thought I'd seen just about everything

Hey everyone, I'm Kara.