WHAT.Someone Tessa hasn’t seen in a very very long time arrives. Surprise! WHERE. Briefly at the DOA then at her apartment. WHEN.Today! WARNINGS. Past grief and mourning, and technically she kissed another man while being married to his best friend (it’s ok you can tell him). Also these nerds quote Dickens. ART CREDIT.Loweana Art! STATUS. Complete!
Tessa’s mind was a whirlwind. She’d known this might happen, that this day could come, ever since she’d arrived here and talked to others about their experiences. There had been questions of those previously dying and waking up here, or people being out of time and space. All of it was magic well beyond her means and ability, and she had just been glad she had Mina and Kit to keep a protective eye over.
Then, more and more, she’d learned of the probability that her loved ones lost to time and age could arrive. Her children.
She should have known it would be Will first. Will was a force of nature that had barreled his way into her life and throughout their entire marriage and she had always been thankful for it. There had never been a dull day in the Herondale household, not when Will had something to say about it.
Today certainly wasn’t shaping up to be dull. Tessa’s hands were shaking so badly that she was glad Kit had taken Mina for a walk and not left her to hold the toddler’s hand during all of this. She thought when she saw him that it would stop, that she’d stop shaking and be contained, a lady, but all Tessa had managed so far was to not burst into tears as soon as she laid eyes on him.
He was young, from the early days of their marriage, though she had loved all of Will, from the beginning to the very end, no matter how many wrinkles he had or how his hair had peppered. She would go through this again, a million times, with both Will and Jem, if it meant more years with both of them.
Tessa still hadn’t gotten more than a word or two out. She knew he had to be confused, had a million questions, and could probably note all of the changes in her appearance even if she hadn’t aged in over a hundred years. She still managed to look different, at least in little ways. She needed him in a private place, where she could give into the tears if they pressed a little harder at the back of her eyes. But now, in this exact moment, she had to reach out to press a hand to his arm, just to confirm he was real. “Hi.”
Everything was quite peculiar.
There had been a moment, back when William Herondale had stumbled spectacularly out of the trees and into the arms of the defense patrol, that he felt eighteen again. Before Tessa arrived. Before Jem had passed. When he was waking up in strange places, unsure of when and where and how he got there because he was attempting to emotionally bleed himself out. But those days were behind him. He had a much better head on his shoulders and his conscience was two-fold: his wife on one side and Brother Zachariah on the other, keeping him in line. Mostly.
But now, now, he wondered if he was dreaming or drunk or both. Because where in the world was he? Modern, incredibly modern, technology was running rampart in the offices. They had given him the blocky thing, and told him how to use it. They took his name, he asked what year it was, they seemed sympathetic, and he was suspicious. Only when he asked after a Tessa Herondale ("Or Gray, she might have used her maiden name," Will had supplied) did the mood shift. They told him to sit tight; Will sat loosely, to be contrary, but he waited all the same.
And like the sun after a storm, Tessa had appeared in the same bustling offices Will had been dragged to in his confused, amicable stupor.
He had stood immediately, like a steward for their lady entering a room, head tipped casually in waiting, for her to approach. Only when she was close enough, Will had stolen a kiss to her cheek, and whispered into her ear, "If you will do me the kindness of escorting me out of here, I have many questions. And a compliment for you."
The walk from the offices to Morningside was brisk, but Will's attention was everywhere around him. Commentary was at the tip of his tongue, but he took Tessa's quiet as a cue. Normally talkative and filling the space with arbitrary and unnecessary words, Will waited until they were at the flat and inside before he spoke again. Her hi was enough of a prompting, and his hand covered hers on his arm.
"Hello," Will said, as he dug out the device from his pocket. "Do I need to keep this? They told me what it does but I have to admit, I wasn't interested in paying attention." He paused, then added, "Your outfit is—" His brows raised appreciatively. "That was the compliment, in case you were wondering."
Tessa moved without really thinking about it, but she did loop her hand into his arm to make sure he wouldn’t get too distracted on the short walk. She’d aged with the technological advances and was used to them now - and, indeed, found several of them to be very helpful - but Will had just been thrown into it all. It was going to be an adjustment period.
And not just for the modern technology, but the clothes, as her corset and petticoats had been exchanged for jeans and a cardigan. Even though it had been so long and he’d certainly seen her without anything, Tessa blushed at the compliment. “You do, keep it in your pocket but try not to sit on it. They’re delicate things. But useful.”
Tessa took the phone from him and then slipped it into his waistcoat pocket. She needed an excuse to touch him. “You can put thousands of books on it, I’ll show you later, we have--” She tilted her head at him, and her hand squeezed his arm. “A lot to talk about.” With someone as smart as Will was, she knew it wouldn’t take long for him to spot the pictures of Mina and Kit, the toddler toys, and the hoodie thrown over a chair. They’d made this apartment their home in the last month.
Will had not intended to have Tessa be the one to put the phone—a phone? Someone at the office had called it that but he only had a vague recollection of some kind of invention that had barely made headlines—back in his pocket, but getting her to touch him without prompting had been an added bonus. He didn't even complain, though he wanted to ask about thousands of books. It seemed impossible unless magic was involved and he felt like he needed to stomp over to Magnus Bane and ask him how and why he had not done this for Will already. Their library was becoming unwieldy.
"Well, we should get on with it, shouldn't we? I just saw you—" Will said, with a curious assessment in his eye. He squinted at her like she was playing a joke on him. He could usually suss it out, with impromptu staring contests and both of trying desperately not to smile, but this didn't seem like one of those times. In fact, it was much more serious than that, the modern technology and architecture notwithstanding. It was coming off her in waves.
He slid from her arm, and started to do his Will-esque poking around. Much of the furniture was not his taste, but he didn't think it was Tessa's either. He was allowing a slowly cold dread crawl over him at the sights. Something was off (obviously) but Will liked to pull all the information in first before making grand statements, sometimes. He could be wrong, and he felt safe to be wrong in front of Tessa.
"How long have you been here? Is that the question I should be asking?" He began to unknot his already-loose cravat, and undo the first button of his shirt. Was that a nervous tick coming out? "And who else lives here, with you, I assume?"
Tessa let him explore, because she knew that it was pointless to try and stop him, and also because it made things a little easier to answer if he figured some of it out on his own. She followed, quietly, slowly, and stopped where she could perch on the edge of the sofa. The apartment really wasn’t to her tastes, it was more modern and stark than the warm colors and cozy atmosphere she preferred, but it was a clean place to stay and that was hard to argue with.
She was more interested in watching him, though. Years before, Tessa had realized that she’d forgotten little details about Will and it had broken her heart. Now she could see exactly what shade of blue his eyes were, or that one curl of his that never did quite like to stay in place. She could have gotten lost just watching him.
But she had to give answers. Tessa brought her hand up to brush across the pearls at her wrist - even after marrying Jem she’d continued to wear it, and he’d had no objections. The three of them had a universal love that she was banking on in this moment. “I’ve only been here a month. I arrived with my daughter from the year two-thousand-and-fifteen.” She paused and held her breath.
That alone was a lot, but without further clarification, it could cause more than a little panic. No part of Tessa wanted to hurt her Will. “Her name is Wilhelmina, her father wanted to name her after his parabatai.”
Will was lucky that his back was turned to Tessa as he moved through the flat. He was slowly undoing the rest of his wardrobe, in an attempt to find some comfort and ease in an unfamiliar space. After the cravat, was the coat, which he draped on one of the chairs. He eyed the icebox, and the oven, and all these somewhat common appliances that had strange updates to them. Too many knobs, too many wires. It only occurred to him now that most of the light in the space was not just from the natural light but light bulbs, electricity.
Oh, he was in over his head. Will was out of time, out of place. He almost believed it was a fluke, that it was the world that was out of sorts for him, but he was alone in this. Mostly alone. Tessa was here. A month, without him, and he hadn't even known. He wanted to kick something, furiously, but he was supposed to be past his tantrum, self-immolation days.
He spun around on Tessa when she said daughter. Not theirs. And unless Will had somehow become immortal—doubtful, and a problem he had worried over in the middle of the night, knowing Tessa was—she was from a year he would never see. A hundred years away. He had never felt further from her, and he closed the distance again in a rapid stride. He no longer cared about poking at the decor.
Hiding his immediate reaction to Tessa's words was difficult. He didn't know what to expect, and they ran the gamut of shock and surprise and confusion and hope. Dreaded, terrible hope. He had put the pieces together too quickly, and Will was about to fall apart just as fast.
"We have not been parabatai in a very long time. He is too sentimental," Will said, trying for a joke, to deflect, when all he wanted to do was ask more. His throat was tight, his eyes burned, and he swallowed hard. His voice was barely above a whisper, because he couldn't make it louder, when he asked, "Is he here with you and Wilhelmina?"
When he was there, in front of her, standing close to her again, Tessa reached out. She couldn’t resist the urge to touch him, to put a hand on him and remind herself silently that Will was here, in person. Tangible and so, so real to her. She looked up at him with none of the worry she felt, and all of the hope and love.
They’d spent most of their marriage looking for excuses to see Jem, together. Tessa knew how much Will loved him, and they never felt truly whole without the three of them in one room. When he was Brother Zachariah it was different, and then when Will was gone, there was such a void of space where Tessa was alone. Without either of them.
“We call her Mina, the full name is an annoying mouthful.” She could tease right back, and let her lips twitch into a little smirk even with his difficult question. “He isn’t here, but he’s safe and healthy at home, Will.” Healthy being the operative word she put emphasis on. Her hand shifted to wrap around his fingers and squeeze. “I have been so very, very lucky. I have had the most amazingly long marriage with a love of my life, and our children. Then, after it was quiet for so long, I was able to experience that again with the other. We’ve both missed you in the same way that you and I missed Jem.”
Tessa's touch was enough to undo him. A brief, soft sob escaped his lips on an exhale before he bundled it all back in. This was all he ever wanted—Tessa and Jem, together, with him—but if it wasn't him, then it had to be Jem. Tessa deserved all the happiness, all the love. The world had just been unfair to give them so many missed opportunities at different times.
He nodded, then nodded again, in agreement. There was too much to say and Will was left without the adequate words to speak them. A healthy Jem. Another chance at life. Children. It was not that long ago that Will believed he held no future, and now here it was laid out before him by one of the only two people he trusted to give him the truth. Someone else might be more unwell about knowing their mortality, but Will could be rational. He would not live forever, but he had so much to look forward to.
"Good, that is good," Will finally managed out. "I did not like calling him Brother Zachariah, it felt wrong. He will always be Jem to me." He squeezed her hand back, and then used the opportunity to pull her into an embrace. He needed her, needed the grounding. He felt so unsteady, but with that realization, he knew that Tessa was probably feeling the same unsteadiness. Will had been gone a long time.
Into her hair, he murmured, "'The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.' I hope it is true for you.” How happy Tessa must have been to see Jem again. He was jealous that he did not get to see it happen in real time. "I have missed more than I thought, it seems."
That embrace was all it took for Tessa to join him in losing her composure, but the Dickens quote was where her shoulders shook. She remembered suddenly how many times they’d lain in bed and talked about their fears and desires, and how often both of those things turned to a topic of Jem. What they would do if they were able to cure him, to heal him, to release him from his Silent Brother bond.
It was unfair that it had taken so long, that Will hadn’t been able to experience what she had. Tessa clutched Will’s sides and buried her face into his shoulder to help stem the flood of emotions as they poured from her. When she was finally able to speak, she still hiccuped with the words. “Nothing that we do, is done in vain. I believe, with all my soul, that we shall see triumph.”
Didn’t want to wipe her tears on his shirt, but unfortunately it was inevitable. She didn’t apologize as she pulled away, finally. But her hands busied themselves smoothing down his shirt that she had just cried all over. “If you’ve arrived, perhaps he’s not far behind.” She could only hope. “But I have others to introduce you to. Kit! Kit first. He’s a Herondale, from your great uncle’s line. Jem and I have taken him in and have been raising him. But there’s also some Blackthorns, I’ll have to tell you their story later. And--”
She was going to continue, maybe to talk about the friends she’d made here, or the demon that Julian had recently linked himself to, but the meow of a cat made her laugh quietly. Church jumped up on the arm of the couch that she had just perched on, to regard Will with the most regal of looks. “-And, Church.”
He never liked it when Tessa cried. Usually it had been something terrible, or worse, his fault. And somehow he knew it was the latter. He smoothed a hand over her hair, and held her close until he could feel the tears subside. Will pressed a fierce kiss to the top of her head, and cupped her face in his hands the moment she moved away.
"I told him that he cannot go where I cannot follow," Will said, knowing full well he meant death, and an afterlife where Jem was free from heartache and pain. Will had wanted all those things for Jem, but not at the expense of his life. The Silent Brothers had been a stopgap to prevent something more permanent, but Will had disliked it all the same. Had bent the rules of visitation when it suited his needs. He only hoped that whatever this was, that Jem would be here too, within arm's reach. "Perhaps he will take my own advice."
But there was also the odd question about another Herondale on his tongue. And Blackthorns. And Jem and Tessa building out a life that did not include him in it. This was his second—maybe, third now—chance to do something with it and not let it go to waste. "I want to hear it all. All the good and horrible parts, a story if you will. I am a very good listener—"
A bright look of delight crossed his face at being interrupted by Church. Will went to scratch at his chin, only for him to release a violent growl. Will was, properly, offended. "You immoral little beast, I bet you have not seen me in an age and this is how you treat me? See if I give you any treats from the table." Then to Tessa, with a kiss to her cheek, "I cannot believe this cat outlived me."
It was probably a good thing that Will didn’t speak out loud his worries of Tessa and Jem building a life without him, as Tessa would have had things to say. Every avenue of their lives had something to do with Will, even these days. Tessa would forever remember the moment directly after their wedding when they looked to the end of the bridge, and it felt that Will had been there, with them, together.
Tessa reached out to pet between Church’s ears, a gesture he allowed but he had always just tolerated her. It was still more than he usually gave others, and Tessa wouldn’t complain. “This cat is going to outlive us all. He’s been to more countries than I have at this point.” She was fond, as Church looked pleased and aloof at them both.
To Will, she smiled. Of course he would want to hear everything, no matter how long-winded it got. “Are you sure you want to hear it all? It might take me a while to touch on everything. I’m not sure I can manage more than a few years worth before Kit comes back with Mina, so you’ll have to tell me where you want me to start.”
As Tessa was tolerated by Church and allowed for copious petting, Will decided that he and Church were back in enemy territory and he eyed the cat suspiciously. Church gave him a smug look in return, if a cat could look smug. Will would bet his life on it, even if Tessa and Jem thought he was overreacting. He tore his begrudging stare away from Church and back to Tessa, a much better sight for him.
"Of course I want to hear it all. Perhaps you can skip over the bits where I am involved, I'd like to still be surprised, mind you," Will said warmly. He had not forgotten the part where Tessa mentioned their children and after spending time trying, there was a giddy effervescent feeling of knowing it was possible. It was like all the times he had wanted to skip to the end of the book, but he knew the journey to get there would make the ending more rewarding.
He hooked a finger under Tessa's chin, poised for a kiss—how had they not kissed in earnest yet? It felt wrong—but also there was a question there. Can I? May I? Would Jem mind. In Will's time, they were married, a scant few years but they were. His wedding rune placed beside his fading parabatai one. But Tessa, who lived a hundred years after him and would live a hundred years more, was the person who was allowed to choose what to do in this moment. He had barrelled into her life before, and he was doing it again. He wouldn't barrel over consent.
Will continued as if he wasn't waiting for an answer. "Tell me the stories of what I have missed. Start from there with you and Jem and Mina and my great great—oh that is too many greats." Will waved it off, knowing that Tessa would understand. The other Herondale. "We have time now stretched before us, do we not? Unless there is something I missed in the pamphlet. Or on that tiny block in my pocket..."
“Just wait until I show you all of the wonderful things you can do with that tiny block.” She would, but not until after she showed him her reading device and gave him access to her thousands of books to read. But if they did that now, they would not kiss anytime soon.
Kiss. She could tell what he was angling for, and Tessa did not have to hesitate long. In her sixty years of marriage to Will, conversations like this had come up repeatedly, usually for fun. Will liked to crawl in bed and ask ridiculous things like Tessa, would you love me if I became a worm? But they’d also had the more serious edge at times, when clothing was discarded and there was a quiet How do you think Jem would kiss you if he was here?
They had been scandalous at first, but with the way a flush crept up Tessa’s body, she hadn’t been able to deny the thought. So she never had. She’d indulged Will (she often indulged Will) and had even turned it around on him from time to time. As a treat.
She hadn’t gotten that far with Jem yet, but they often communicated without words and just seemed to fit together without needing to say much. It wasn’t better or worse, just different, as they’d always been. But that level of communication left her with little doubt Jem would smile and ask her a gentle, reassuring question.
So she leaned into Will’s embrace, less gentle and reassuring than Jem’s blessing, but how much she’d missed Will came back to her in a sudden wave, and she was hopeless to stop the way her hands tightened around him.
Will hummed appreciatively when Tessa gave into his silent question. He had never wanted to push, and it was an uncomfortable new reality to know that he had been dead, and now wasn't. To her it had been decades, but to Will no time had passed at all. He would not infringe on what Tessa had now, but he remembered those nights in bed. And how they wished for him to be with them. He still wished for it now.
He let the desperation take over from Tessa, and he pulled her just as boldly against him. There was no lack of want and need in their kisses, even married, but this was different. This was closing a gap at the end of a sentence, leaving no room to question anymore. And when—not if, but when, Will was optimistic—Jem showed up, they would have this conversation again.
From her mouth, he peppered her cheeks, her chin, her forehead with kisses, unable to stop. Distantly, his mind was trying to tell him to ask more questions, to take a moment to absorb the fact that they were somewhere else and time was an ineffectual monster. But he was with Tessa, and the rest of it was just details. Will would have been having a more terrible time alone, and he was thankful that it was not the case.
"Now that that is taken care of," Will said, this was said as he stole another kiss from her. "Can you multitask? Assist in helping me undo these buttons and tell me about what I have missed?" He lifted his chin, exposing his neck for Tessa to help—he didn't really need it, but he liked it when she was touching him without doubt.
"Also, what is that?" Will pointed at the hoodie draped over the chair. "And do I have to wear one?"
Tessa laughed incredulously, but she pulled away from him on light feet and just out of kissing range. Not that it would stop him for long, if she remembered correctly. But she would undo the buttons on his cuffs, as she did for so many years, and the ones that could be trickier. “Will Herondale, you are insufferable.” It was fond, oh so fond, and Tessa was grinning wider than she had in days.
“That’s Kit’s, it’s called a hooded sweatshirt, and no. But we’ll get you some clothing of your own. Fewer buttons and layers are required these days, you’ll like that.” She thought of Jem’s comfy cardigans and pieces she liked to steal, and how Will would no doubt end up doing the same. That was a nice thought to keep her warm.
“Let me show you how modern bathrooms operate and how the kitchen runs before you try and get ahead of anything. No-” Tessa cut off abruptly and pointed a finger at him before he could undo any more buttons. “Do not take off your trousers. We have things to do.”