Sabrina twirled her finger in the air, flashing a smile at the bartender--Bob? That seemed right--before holding up her empty glass. She set it back down at his nod, sliding it across the bar to him as she whirled around on the stool to look back out at the crowd. Living above Lux had definitely increased the amount of her nights out. Having to pass by the action on the way to the elevator inevitably had her steering herself out onto the dance floor for an hour.
Or well. It was only ever supposed to be an hour. Somehow that hour always turned into three or four. Or not getting into the apartment until well after midnight… if she even returned to it for the night.
She’d visited Dorian’s plenty when Nick had owned it, but frequented his office more than the actual club part. Doing homework, practicing lines. Now she had no homework and she hadn’t bothered with a play in almost a year. If she wasn’t at Lux, she was likely at some other establishment somewhere in the city.
Some days it felt meaningless. Other days it felt like a breath of fresh air from the weight of responsibilities she didn’t have in Vallo. Mostly everything was a means to distract herself from how bitter she still felt toward people she was supposed to love and the fact she’d been dragged away from some version of Heaven to continue playing someone else’s game.
“This is my last one,” she said as Rob--maybe it was Rob?--slid a new drink to her.
Law school was going to be a beast, she knew that before she had ever applied. But part of her had hoped it wasn’t going to be as intense as she was building it up in her head. She had, unfortunately, not been wrong. Law school was a beast, and she spent most of her time studying somewhere. Her apartment with Sabrina, the library at school, the Library of Alexandria. Sometimes she even studied inside Lux when it wasn’t technically open. It was quiet there, the chairs were comfortable, and sometimes the bartender would slip her a drink.
The bar was busy now, and Roz was on her way back in from the library at her school having just come out of a study group. She had originally intended to walk right past the party, but a head of a familiar platinum blond hair caught her eyes. So instead of heading to the elevator, she headed down the steps to the bar to take a seat beside Sabrina.
“Hey you.” she said with a smile, and waved down the bartender. “Pomegranate Gin Cocktail.” she ordered, dropping her bag at her feet with a sigh. “Good night?” she asked, turning to look at Sabrina.
Was it a good one? There wasn’t anything particularly wrong with it, but so far it lacked anything thrilling happening. Probably for the best. Thrilling usually meant some monster or another was suddenly being dropped into the place and Sabrina wasn’t in the mood to deal with another of those. At least Vallo gave them breaks. Sometimes she was able to convince herself that they’d manage a whole month without anything nasty.
It never happened, but still seemed more likely than Greendale.
“I’ve no complaints,” Sabrina settled on saying. “How’d the study session go?” She was fairly certain that’s where Roz had been. It was either that or…well, no. Solo study sessions were still studying. This one might have been a group one though.
“As good as studying can get.” she said with a shrug. She had to work hard, but she was good at studying, and loved to learn. It was a challenge she was up for, no doubt. “We covered what we needed to and managed to get a little bit ahead.” But that would probably last until the next class where they’d be buried again.
Roz scanned the room, looking for another familiar face. Mostly one that belonged to a tall, handsome blond that gave her bad feelings more often than that. “No Callum tonight?” she asked with a tilt of her head. Sabrina knew how Roz felt about him, so she didn’t see a need to bring it up constantly. Roz couldn’t complain too much either, it wasn’t like he had done anything awful. As long as it stayed that way.
She was slightly concerned about the amount of time that Sabrina spent out at places, but it was a nice switch from having all the responsibility. Sometimes you needed to swing the exact opposite direction before you found a balance.
“And now my brian needs to switch off and not deal with anything legal until tomorrow at around 10.”
There would be no tall, handsome blond at her side that night. At least not yet, the night was still young and Sabrina doubted that he was asleep. There was always the possibility that she could text him to see if he wanted to join her or show up at his place later on, but that idea was quickly pushed aside as Roz admitted the last part.
If her best friend wanted to switch her brain off and not deal with anything legal until tomorrow then Sabrina was more than happy to help.
“No Callum tonight. We are getting a table, doing shots, and dancing until our feet hurt.” Sabrina grinned, downing her drink before ordering them a couple of her favorites and directing the bartender where to drop them off at. She slid off the stool and held out her arm to Roz, nodding toward one of the tables that had opened up. “Come on.”
Roz was going to be perfectly content to sit at the bar and chill, but she was more than willing to rally to do just that. There was just one problem.
“I just need to ditch my bag.” she said, and looked down at her clothes. “And do an outfit change.” because she was not going to hang around Lux in the clothes she’d deemed suitable for school and studying. It was not the right match.
Which meant she had to pop upstairs momentarily. “Unless you want to help a girl out?” Sabrina could send things through space, her bag up to their apartments and her clothes from her closet. That wasn’t something a typical witch could pull off. She could only manage outfit changes when she was in her room near her clothes.
“There’s a black one-shoulder dress in my closet that would be perfect.” she said this while slinging her bag over her shoulder, linking her arm through Sabrina’s, and picking up her drink with her free hand.
“Put the bag down and do a spin,” Sabrina told her as she slid onto a chair. The bag would be gone and Roz’s clothes would change in a split second. Both the bag and her regular clothes would wind up on her bed, ready to be put away in a few hours.
Lux always had good music playing, something that Sabrina could get lost listening to when she was on her own, but thankfully she could dull its volume in a bubble around the two of them so they could actually talk. She might live with Roz, but between her friend’s work and school schedule and her own work schedule they weren’t in the apartment a lot together. Throw in the late nights Sabrina kept if she was even coming back to the apartment, some days it seemed like she saw her bestie less than when they lived in different houses.
Their slider of shots were dropped off and Sabrina picked up two, handing one over to Roz. “To a much needed girl’s night.”
With a grin, Roz did what Sabrina asked, setting her bag down on the floor and spinning around, drink still in hand. When she faced forward again, her outfit was replaced with the black dress she had thought of in her closet.
“Thank you.” she said with a grin, sliding into her seat beside Sabrina and finishing off her drink in one go, since the shots had arrived anyway.
“Cheers to that.” Roz said, her expression saying just how badly she needed a night out. It really had been too long since they’d been able to spend some solid time together. She knocked back the shot with ease, setting the shot glass down on the table, clearing her throat as the liquid burned down her throat.
“Another round.” she said to the waitstaff before they headed away, because she had some catching up to do. “Catch me up.” she said, turning to Sabrina, “I feel like I need an update on the details of your life.”
“Well, I went from being Thurvishar’s assistant to Bonnie’s assistant. Not much of a change there for me.” Sabrina still maintained the same hours and tasks. It helped that they’d known one another for years at that point and been working together for months by the time Bonnie took over. The transition was easy though. At least for her. She couldn’t say the same for Bonnie.
Sabrina picked up another of the shots--a purple one that she knew tasted like raspberries and tended to make people feel temporarily euphoric. It wasn’t her favorite but it would do for the night.
“I got my license.” Not that she drove much, but it was good to have for heading along the coastal roads in Vallo.
“Other than that my biggest decision right now is figuring out which horror movie Callum and I are going to see this week.” The cinema doing 31 Nights of Horror was doing a couple psychological horror ones that week so Sabrina was trying to narrow down which one to see. “What about you? Anything new?”
“How’s that going? I know losing Thurvishar sucked. Regina leaving did. Dr. Strange leaving did.” she didn’t mean the logistics of it, or the workload. “Losing a mentor sucks.” She threw back another shot, not really paying attention to what it was. “Answer me that and then I’ll stop asking semi-depressing questions.”
Roz’s lips curled up at the. She also hadn’t got her license until she ended up in Vallo, also after being gifted an insanely fast car. “Welcome to the drivers club. I barely use mine, but when I do it’s fun.” Speeding (not too much) along the highway by the coast was always gorgeous.
Her smile twitched ever so slightly, it was almost a reflex now when she thought of him. Not surprising though, he was Sabrina’s friend, and she did love horror movies. Plus it was getting close to the best time of year for horror. “I wish I could say there was, but literally all I do is school at this point, or work at the firm. I could use my own pretty face to spend the nights with though.” But good luck finding that to her.
Sabrina shrugged, downing the last of the shots. She motioned to get another round sent to them. “It's not the first time, nor the last time that I’ll lose one. It sucks but well, that’s Vallo, right?”
She preferred them leaving to her becoming disillusioned with them. Would she ever be able to look at her aunts the same? No, probably not. It had been five years and she hadn’t forgiven them for what they had done. None of their reasoning would ever make up for any of it. She’d do her duties back home, help the coven, but the less she had to deal with them the better for her.
But those were depressing thoughts and Sabrina wasn’t in a mood to entertain them. There was little point in dwelling on anything back home while in Vallo.
“He is very pretty.” Also ridiculous, and entitled and could be a complete arrogant ass, but she rarely thought about home when she was with him. She distracted him and he distracted her. Was it an epic love story? No, but Sabrina had seen exactly how those ended and had no intention of going down that tragic road again.
She gestured around the club before looking over at Roz. “Well. Is there anyone who’s catching your eye now?”
“No,” she agreed with a nod, “Probably not. Doesn’t stop sucking though.” Still, her word was good, she let it go. There was no point in pushing that topic if there was nothing to talk about.
There was no short supply of pretty people available, but finding one that was single, in your age range apparently was. “Nope.” she said with a sigh. “There really isn’t anyone. But that’s also potentially my own fault, since I’ve had my head down for months.” She needed something to do with her time, and for whatever reason she had come focused on law school, and she was going to stick with it. If she did end up in Vallo long term, it was a solid career choice. She didn’t have funds to spare. Plus, it fed into her desire to do something good.
“So I will have to live vicariously through you, even if he’s heavy on the creepy side.” Which, maybe lined right up to the overall vibe of Queen of Hell anyway.
“He won’t ever sacrifice himself for me.”
The words were out of Sabrina’s mouth before she could stop herself. It was true though and something she did really like about him. So many seemed to have some romanticized version of what that was like to have someone sacrifice their life for someone else. Sabrina knew better. She was all too aware how raw it left her, the vivid nightmares she still endured from time to time about losing Nick. There was an emptiness, a hollowness, inside of her that she couldn’t quite shake because of it. She wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Callum Nova was the safe option for her because he wouldn’t do what others had done before. They could have fun together. See movies, go clubbing, do a myriad of other activities but she would never need to worry about him destroying himself so that she could live.
Sabrina downed the next shot, fingers itching to take the next one. “But maybe you should give yourself an opening to meet other people? One night a week where it's not law all the time?”
Roz stilled for a moment, watching Sabrina carefully after she dropped that statement.
She was right. In fact Roz was willing to bet there wasn’t anyone Callum would ever sacrifice himself for. Which was both good, and bad at the same time. But thankfully, Sabrina hadn’t really had to place herself in any sacrificing situations in Vallo, and Roz would fight to keep it that way.
“He won’t.” Roz agreed, picking up another shot. “He’s not the type.” The Nick type. No one was ever going to be that exact type again.
“Probably.” she agreed, picking up another shot, because she was going to catch up. It would probably hit her fast and she’d have regrets later, but whatever. She’d need to readjust her schedule to do it, because that was where she was now with school. Scheduling downtime for the next few years. “I should, once I get a better handle on things.” But then she’d be into midterms, and then finals, and it was a vicious cycle. But she’d figure it out.
“There will always be an excuse not to take time out for yourself, Roz.” Sabrina pointed her glass at her. That wasn’t quite the same as trying to take on every single problem and fix it but the excuse part was similar. Sabrina had done something similar when she’d first arrived in Vallo. She’d joined everything, tried to take on everything and ended with a lot of people telling her to do less. It had been one of Regina’s favorite things to tell her when she’d been around.
She liked to think she was better at balancing now. She had a job that she didn’t work overtime for, wasn’t doing school, and Hell was still a thing but it wasn’t that difficult to deal with any longer. She’d also been cutting down on how much she did when catastrophe struck.
“But you’ll feel better if you do.”
“I know there will be.” she said with a sigh. “I think they do this intentionally.” she added with a shrug. “I’ll find a balance.” She just had to figure it out. Work and school was all she was really doing, but both were in law, and it was demanding. Though at least her bosses knew she was in school and the program she was in adjusted her schedule accordingly. It had only been a few weeks, and she was still finding her rhythm with courses, professors, and students.
Sabrina was right though, she’d feel better when she figured it out. It wasn’t a permanent thing, there was a definitive end date as long as she was successful. Wow, school sucked.
“Starting tonight.” she finally added, flagging down a waiter to order a drink instead of a shot, now that she had knocked a few back. “Meet anyone interesting tonight?”
Sabrina supposed it made sense that law school would do something like that. It was probably a way to sort out who could handle the career from who couldn’t. She had faith in Roz to be able to do it, just hated watching her be so exhausted. There was little to do with it and she wasn’t trying to fix everything for everyone anymore. Sabrina still had no clue how younger her had ever thought she could manage doing so.
She shrugged, letting the amber liquor swirl around in her glass. “I wasn’t really looking for anyone so no.” She’d been successfully putting off an aura of ‘fuck off’ around her during her time at the bar, keeping anyone from trying to be too friendly. “Just chatting with the staff and leaving a good tip.”
There was no denying there was a huge change in Sabrina’s overall personality since everything that had happened. Of course, Roz couldn’t blame her, just like she couldn’t help but worry about her sometimes anyway. It wasn’t like she had disengaged from life. She still had a job, was an active part of a Vallo coven, had friends, had a boy. It was a balance, she just hoped the part of her that had been ripped apart when Nick had done what he had done found a way to…maybe not heal completely, but stitch itself together.
“Okay, well what will it be then? More drinks? Want to dance? Want to hijack your dads piano?”
What Sabrina Spellman really wanted to do was forget, but that was a nearly impossible task. Especially when she was around her best friend. Not when Roz was a tether to all that Sabrina didn’t want to remember. But she didn’t want to avoid her either.
Emotions sucked. Not having emotions sucked even more.
Sabrina held up her glass. She was entirely too sober. “Drinks and dancing sounds like a good way to spend tonight.”
Roz waved to the wait staff, Erica, she was pretty sure. She at least knew all their faces from coming and going at this point. Roz asked for shots and another round of drinks for after. She was going to feel this tomorrow. Oh well.
“How’s the coven going?” she asked, tilting her head in interest as the drinks and shots were set down at their table. She’d wavered back and forth on joining one the entire time they were here. She was both skeptical, and missed aspects of theirs back home. She could never quite find the right fit. It was a solid support group to have at your back.
How was the coven going? Sabrina tipped back a quick shot as she mulled over that question. She attended the monthly meetings and did a number of other activities with them but part of her wasn’t sure it was the right fit for her any longer. Not since she’d aged up five years. She was trying, but it felt odd now. A lot of things felt odd though.
“They’ve got some stuff for Samhain that I’m looking forward to participating in.” Thankfully a lot of it was lead up rituals that she could head to for a couple hours on the weekend before.
Sabrina downed another of the shots before moving onto the drink that Erica slid her way. She hadn’t been sober before Roz had arrived, but she was well past it now, the room seemingly swaying slightly around her. “I’m not sure I should have joined it. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I think at least. But that feels like a lifetime ago and it was only a couple of months or years or however we want to look at it. Wouldn’t be the first bad decision I made.” She had a long list of those, one after the other, probably never ending. “Not as bad as the fact that I think that I like Callum. Which I know. That’s like the ultimate bad idea and I am an idiot but well…”
She waved her drink around as she shrugged. Add it to her list.
The problem with long term memory games is that the influx of information from home could make ideas that had seemed great the day before, seem terrible the next. It could be seen as erratic or a complete 180 for people who hadn’t experienced it. But Roz got what Sabrina meant. She was not the same person she had been when she joined. Maybe the feeling would pass, maybe it wouldn’t.
“It isn’t necessarily a bad decision.” Roz offered, “People change. A lot happened back in our world that…they can’t relate to.” The rules were different there, and people in Vallo, who were from Vallo, would never experience the same things.
Though Sabrina’s second admission gave her pause. Because, yes, that was a bad idea. Not the concept that Sabrina liked someone - because that was good. Hopeful, even. But Roz couldn’t say she was thrilled about her choice of a crush. Especially since Callum still just felt…off.
“Does he know that?”
Sabrina knew Roz was right. Joining Beketh hadn’t been bad. She simply wasn’t the same girl who’d done so. Maybe it’d feel different if she’d lived out the last couple of years in Vallo, growing with them, but that hadn’t been the case. She had no clue what she was going to do about her status in the coven, but it didn’t need to be decided right then. Especially not with how drunk she definitely was.
As for the other thing.
“He is an empath.” Hiding her emotions from him would be a pretty useless gesture. Especially because Sabrina had always worn hers on her sleeve anyway. “I’m not planning on doing anything with that. Just keep up with the status quo.” Or whatever it was. Hang out. Not think about crap. Engage in a lot of self-care. “But still. I’m an idiot.”
Wait. Had he told others that he was an empath? He’d told her.
Sabrina blinked. “Pretend I didn’t say the empath thing.”
“I thought his thing was illusions.” she said with a head tilt and a frown pulling at her mouth. Either way, both were powerful gifts. She knew he held an illusion around himself at all times, and she knew what that illusion was versus the truth. Frankly, she didn’t get the point of it.
“Either way. Why?” That probably should have been the most obvious question. Maybe it was for exactly what Sabrina had said before. Because he’d never sacrifice himself for her, but Roz wasn’t going to say that part out loud. She doubted it, but maybe Sabrina had saw something in him that Roz hadn’t when they were together.
“Why do we like anyone that we like?” Sabrina asked, shrugging her shoulders before reaching for another shot. “I think…well. I like who I can be when I’m with him.” Which,god, what did that say about her? Probably a lot. How could she feel like she could be herself the most when she was with someone who didn’t care about others outside of his own entertainment? Granted, he wasn’t trying to take over the world, like Caliban, and he wouldn’t do the sacrificial thing like Nick. Callum was an ass, but Sabrina generally found that amusing and he wasn’t an ass to her most of the time. When he was she simply lit his drinks on fire or gave it right back to him.
She liked not having to think about responsibilities. When she was with Callum it was about whatever they were doing right then and there or possibly talking about future adventures or past ones. But it wasn’t Hell and sacrifice, duties and responsibilities. The weight of the world didn’t feel like it was on her shoulders when they were out dancing or eating or back at his place ignoring the world.
So what if he had opinions that made her roll her eyes (sometime she found herself agreeing with some, which was probably worse). He helped her forget. What more could she want from someone?
That was concerning. There was nothing wrong with Sabrina not carrying the world on her shoulders in this world. That was more than okay. That was supposed to be normal. But Callum went past normal to a…lack of caring. A lack of empathy, a lack of general kindness. That wasn’t Sabrina at all.
“When I like someone it’s because they compliment me. We support each other, help each other be better, reach goals, and stand by each other.” Not necessarily sacrificing for each other, but some level of compromising, yes. “You can like whoever you want to, you don’t need me or anyone to tell you that.” she said, wishing she had better words for this. But Sabrina had never liked someone like Callum before….at least not quite.
“But Callum…just be careful, Sabrina. He could end up hurting you for…the exact opposite reason.” for not standing by her at all. It was hard to imagine him caring about anything past himself.
Sabrina had grown up with one aunt who had regularly killed the other one when she annoyed her, but Zelda still loved Hilda fiercely and Hilda loved her sister as well. Hilda killed people who threatened their family, usually through poision, and Ambrose had nearly blown up the Vatican out of a distorted sense of loyalty. Even the Devil had loved Sabrina Morningstar in his own twisted way and the less Sabrina thought about Caliban and that entire mess the better. Love was weird and messy, carrying the potential of mutual destruction.
But she didn’t love Callum. She liked him. She found herself liking him more than she possibly should, but when had she ever stopped doing something because it might end up hurting her? “He helps me.” Whether or not that help was making her be better was up for debate, but it wasn’t making her worse. “You ready to dance?”
Roz had said her bit, even if she didn’t think it was going to lead anywhere. It wasn’t worth pushing, because as long as he wasn’t hurting her, then it was fine. But Roz made a mental note to keep a much closer eye on him whenever she could. Not that they were often in the same space together unless there was a group of them.
So, Roz tossed back another shot and nodded at her question. “Yep.” Roz said, sliding out of her seat and holding out her hand to Sabrina. “Let's go. I just spotted someone really hot and I need to figure out if he’s here with anyone I can’t steal him from.”