InsaneJournal

No matter how many times Alex set foot on Darla, she was never any less in awe of it than she had been the first time. Spaceships in general were just cool, and she’d been on quite a few of them at this point, so she had enough experience to know. She appreciated them more when they weren’t flinging her and a bunch of poor aliens out into space against their will, of course, but that had only happened the one time. And at this point, Darla was more of a house than anything.

It showed, too. It was probably five times the size of an average house, but it was just as cozy. What had once been the observation deck was a full-on living room with a huge, comfy sectional couch, fuzzy carpets thrown around, and tonight, both of those things were covered with animals. Adam and Adora were doing some sort of twin bonding thing (details were unclear there, but it wasn’t really Alex’s business), and Alex had been invited over for a Sister Night.

She had come to consider Catra an adoptive little sister a long time ago - even moreso after their dramatic little storylines in Serendipity Hills over the holidays. But if there was one thing she had learned over the years from Kara, it was that there was a time and a place to be a protective nut. Catra could handle herself, so she left her mostly to her own devices with occasional check-ins - Sister Nights included.

Scorpia had killed Catra and Adora’s TV a while ago, and they had apparently decided to save up before buying a new one. That meant whatever it was they chose to watch tonight would be played across Darla’s windows which, frankly, Alex totally preferred. It was like being in a movie theater, and that was the environment they were going for with the standard popcorn (of course), plethora of sweet and salty snacks, and giant cherry slushies Alex had brought along with her.

“So,” she began, scrolling through the endless queue of options before them with the remote. “Are we thinking senseless, creepy murder or lesbians in prison?” That was The Purge or Orange is the New Black - Catra’s pick.

Okay, like. Catra would not outwardly call this a ‘Sister Night.’ Maybe the weird Hallmark version of her that was brain-warped into having memories of some fake life where she had an actual family (details were fuzzy, but it had seemed nice??) would have, but this real version of her was, uh, forever awkward around that kind of thing. She still wasn’t used to the whole ‘cat sis’ title Richie bestowed on her and it’s been well over a year.

Family nicknames were weird.

But this was fun regardless of the sentiment (which was kind of a Sister Night even though she’s never going to admit that out loud), and it didn’t require an immense amount of social effort. Having company while you watched shit was enough - and the snacks were niiiiice, she was really into the slushie.

Which was what she was slurping up right now, on the floor one those soft rugs while she leaned against Melog in their full-sized form. It was a comfy spot, and she was comfy in sweats and Adora’s old red jacket. Catra would not be moving from it for a while. “Always up for lesbians in prison,” she replied, chewing on the straw with her pointy little fangs. “I gotta be in the mood for something creepy.”

(That translated to ‘I need Adora to be here for something creepy in case I have to hide my face’ but that's neither here nor there.)

“Lesbians in prison it is,” Alex agreed. She’d watched the series quite a few times already, so she started it from episode one; it didn’t look like it had been watched which was honestly a travesty. She was curled up on the couch with Abby, one of Adam’s dogs, curled up under her left arm and Ivy was sprawled out against the length of her right leg. Spirit and Pop Tart were missing in action - apparently, whatever twin bonding activity was going on required puppies, too.

“How’ve you been doing?” she questioned, poking gently at Catra’s shoulder with her socked foot. Tonight wasn’t going to require a heavy amount of socializing - that was kind of the opposite of the point - but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t prod a bit. She liked to be in the loop, to make sure nothing tragic was happening that she should be aware of.

Catra, in fact, had not seen this show before. Weird, right? But she’s at least heard of it, so - should be good. “Been okay,” she murmured around the straw, then tilted her head backwards to glimpse at Alex. The lights were off and her eyes were almost glowing - that iridescent gleam every time her head turned. It could sometimes be creepy if someone wasn’t used to it. “Only real news is that we’ve got a roommate, as you know.”

Teela having popped up on the disappearance list sucked. She had liked her, a lot - and understood her issues when it came to Adam since some of it had mirrored Adora’s. Plus, she and Adam were a thing. Having her gone must be a punch in the gut so, yeah, Adam could use support. “That’s been fine though. Gives Adora a chance to bond with him with the whole sibling thing.”

It gave her an opportunity to bond with him, too. Catra actually… liked Adam? Wild shit. Incredible. Miraculous. Even if she wanted to eject him out of Darla when he went at her with fucking puns.

Alex had, in fact, noticed the presence of a third roommate around here. She supposed it made sense; with Adam’s girlfriend gone, Catra and Adora were the only family Adam had around here. Alex herself was only peripherally familiar with him from Defense, but he seemed like a good kid - a lot like Adora in that eager, wants-to-help, golden retriever kind of way.

It had to be hard, so she wasn’t surprised he hadn’t wanted to be alone. She knew what it was like to lose someone close to you to Vallo’s nonsensical whims. You could only hold on to the hope they would come again for so long before you had to figure out how to function without. Being around other people who cared was a big help.

“You like having him around too?” she asked Catra, taking another sip from her slushie. “I’m guessing you must or you might have more of a problem with him being a roommate.”

“Yeah, he’s fine,” she answered, a casual shrug with it as she let her eyes fall back to the screen. Was it necessary to do an entire opening with people’s mouths as the focus for this show?? Television was wack. “Adora and I grew with a lot of other cadets in our age range anyway. Adam’s a lot like her too. Less neurotic, though?”

Catra snorted to herself. She meant that fondly. Adora was a low key anxious mess even at her best but she didn’t love her any less. “But, y’know. Siblings are supposed to be a big deal and I guess it’s even a bigger deal when you have twins.” It was interesting to see. She and Adora were also foretold to, uh, eventually have a set themselves after Finn so that was bound to be fun. And chaotic. “When we were kids we always wondered what our families would have been like outside of the Horde even if we convinced ourselves they were killed or something. At least that’s not true in her case.”

Being kidnapped from another world wasn’t ideal, but she had this chance to know the world she came from and blood family through Adam. The whole thing admittedly did make her think of her own - who they were, what they were like, except it was moot and she was usually pretty good at snuffing those thoughts out on her own. They either lost her and got killed or left her to die and got killed. Both options were grim and dumb to obsess over.

Siblings were a big deal, Alex could attest to that. They weren’t always fun, and Kara had been a lot to get used to, at first, but she was the best thing in Alex’s life. It had taken her a while to come to that conclusion, to see her as a best friend instead of just an obligation, someone her parents charged her to protect. But in the end? Best thing. She hoped it felt that way for Adam and Adora, too.

“Do you know for sure it’s not true in your case?” She wasn’t going to press hard, and she’d drop it if Catra reacted badly, but she had to ask, at least. She knew most of the kids taken in by the Horde had been orphaned one way or another because - well, war. But she wouldn’t be surprised if there was more to Catra’s story, like there had been more to Adora’s. War was full of lies, too.

It took a minute for Catra to respond. There was this whole scene unfolding here - with the showering? And the bath?? Then it went on to some straight people shit. Ugh, bring back the women. “I mean,” she began, reaching around to snatch up twizzler rope. Melog had made a telepathic request and she obliged. “Does it matter? Most likely outcome is that they died. There was no one like me in the Horde. If they somehow - I don’t know, lived, I guess, then they got to witness me as the Horde’s second-in-command taking over kingdoms.”

In which case they could have stepped up and said something, or decided they didn’t want to acknowledge an unhinged war commander as their flesh and blood. Catra maybe thought about this more than she cared to admit, whatever, but after that she could understand why no one would step up and claim her. It’s probably why her response was indifference. She had come to accept the worst case scenarios as truths.

“S’not a big deal.” Another sluuuurp of slushie, lips cold and stained red. “I’ve got loser friends. That’s enough.”

Alex supposed Catra’s logic made sense. In that situation, she wasn’t sure she’d put much stock in the possibility of parents or family either. It was a different world, a different kind of life. While she was still inclined to say that it did matter, she could understand thinking the options were pretty dismal and accepting that, no matter what, it was probably bad.

“I’ll count myself as one of those loser friends and take that as a compliment,” she commented with another playful jab of her foot into Catra’s shoulder. “You’ve got a lot of those around here.”

“Yep,” Catra responded with a pronounced pop of that ‘p.’ Her, with a lot of friends - the idea would have made her laugh out loud (lol) a few years ago. But she was happy with the weird mish-mosh of people that had come into her life and stuck around because they seemed to like her, or whatever?? What a concept.

The ones that gave her the little sibling nicknames made her feel extra gooey, though.

Sliding down against Melog more, she tipped her head back against them again to look at Alex. “What about you? I expected to see lipstick stains that had been half-assedly wiped off your face but maybe you learned your lesson and did a better job hiding the evidence.”

“I’ve mastered the true power of a washcloth,” Alex snarked back playfully, a little bit of red coloring her cheeks. She was in no way ashamed of Lena finding little ways to stake her claim on her, but then she had people like Catra in her life who would never let her live it down. Not that she minded all that much - that was a true sign of sisterhood.

“We’re doing really good,” she reported. “She’s still trying to wrap her mind around the witch thing, and I’m dealing with AA which is… well, it’s intolerable sometimes.” She shrugged, picking up her slushie again. She felt like she’d never stop feeling those cravings for a drink, but she covered it up with work, and she trudged through it. She knew she had to be better, but it was far from easy.

“About time you did,” Catra shot back with no heat - just tease, fang poking out from her upper lip as she smirked at her friend. Sister-person. Something. She did terribly with people wanting to look out for her in this weird, family-like way she definitely wasn’t used to but with her, Richie, Dan - she had thawed. There were some resistant moments, almost like teenage bouts of rebellion every now and again because how dare you care about me but they were fewer now.

She cared about them too. A lot. So it was also nice to hear that Alex was sticking with the AA stuff even if it seemed to suck ass. “Can’t provide any input on the magic part because wow, you know - I hate that kind of shit - but I’m proud of you for not spiraling out into a booze binge again. And the meetings seem to help?” Catra offered with a light shrug. “Do you think you’ll always be attending them?”

Most of her alcohol addiction knowledge came from Dan. She was always careful around him when it came to that stuff - conscious of where they went out for meet ups, that kind of thing. He was remarkably stable now and it was a stretch to try and imagine him very much unlike who he was now.

It actually meant more than Catra knew for Alex to hear she was proud of her. Hearing from all the people closest to her helped because it really did suck. It sucked more because this was her second go-round, because she’d already failed once, and every single day, she wanted to just say fuck it and have a drink, even just a beer. She’d been drinking in the evening since college - not always excessively but not not excessively on occasion, too. It made the world more tolerable when her days were rough or tiresome or stressful.

“The meetings help,” she acknowledged. They kept her accountable, as did Mobius. They were also sometimes sad, sometimes boring, or just tried her patience, but getting through them once a week kept her in the right state of mind. “I don’t know if I’ll go for the rest of my life, but last time I skipped one, I drank way too much of Lena’s stash of bourbon. So they’re necessary right now. Consistency and everything.”

“I mean - that shit’s pretty gross straight out of the bottle,” she chided with a snort. Shifting and twisting, Catra removed herself from using Melog as some kind of luxurious, living pillow and pulled herself up onto the couch next to Alex. “If you feel like you need someone to drag you to one, though - I’m here. I’ll drag you by the hair if I have to.”

Whatever helped and kept Alex sober, yeah. Sign her up. She had too much to lose and look forward to - best not waste that by looking down the bottom of a bottle.

Alex chuckled and nodded. Bourbon burned going down, especially drinking it straight, she couldn’t deny that. It wasn’t exactly a treat for the tastebuds, but when she drank, she was rarely looking for something that tasted good. She wasn’t one of those beer connoisseurs who could pick out every flavor. She was looking for relief, something that numbed her and put distance between herself and the world. Bourbon did that, and fuck her, she missed it.

Working in a bar was always an extra challenge. Most of the alien liquor Al’s served would quite literally kill her, though, so it was easier to avoid, by far. She may struggle with her self-worth at times but not so much that she wanted to kill herself. That was a few steps too far for her.

“Thanks, kid.” She smiled, reaching over to sling her arm around Catra’s shoulders. She didn’t snuggle or pull her in, but she let her arm hang there until it was pushed away. She’d learned her limits and boundaries; calling her ‘kid’ was also something she generally made a conscious effort to avoid, but sometimes it slipped out. “I hope it won’t come to that, but I appreciate the offer.”

Catra was fine with this. Okay - maybe not the kid part, she was definitely not a kid - but she didn’t mind Alex getting touchy. She appreciated her not going all in immediately, giving her time to adjust at her own pace since she was essentially a skittish cat.

She did adjust, though. Maybe those fuzzy memories of their Hallmark days left an imprint but there was a weird sense of familiarity in this even if the recollections weren’t technically real but she remembered the feelings. They were nice. Having a sense of family was nice despite it being some reality warping bullshit.

So she leaned into Alex for the first time in - ever, probably? “Can’t let my ‘big sis’ do stupid shit,” Catra scoffed, and then made a face when ‘big sis’ came out of her mouth but it was too late to take that back. “Having waaay too much deja vu with all this and our Serendipity lives. What the fuck.”

If Alex were Kara, there would have been a very different reaction to Catra curling into her like that - probably squealing or cooing and a big hug that Catra would have scrambled to get out of. Alex was the calmer sister; she was happy Catra was so at ease with her, but she showed it with nothing more than a simple squeeze around Catra’s shoulders.

“Doesn’t seem like such a bad thing to me,” she replied with a teasing grin. Their Serendipity Hills lives were much foggier these days, months-old and faded, but she still remembered it fondly - times like these had been much more frequent. In their Vallo lives? Not as much. Their real bond was still very much there, even if it was expressed differently.

It meant a lot to know Catra was so willing to be there for her. Support systems were important when dealing with alcoholism - or so the alcoholics told her - and it was good to know she had so many people in her corner. Catra, especially - one of the first people she’d really bonded with here.

“Thanks for caring, sis.”