InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You need a shower!"

Will Laurence (withallmyheart) wrote in valloic,
@ 2021-11-16 15:49:00

Entry tags:

₴ inactive: dorian pavus, ₴ inactive: william laurence 2

[Text to Lan Xichen]

Xichen,

~~I've just~~ ~~This was the wors~~ ~~I have never been so morti~~ I find myself needing to remove myself from the city for at least a few hours. Would it be too much trouble if I came up to the Cloud Recesses for a little? You'd not need to entertain me if you're busy, of course, but I wouldn't say no to your company.

Yrs,
Wm. Laurence

[Text to Dorian]
Dorian,

I don't suppose you're aware of any secluded monasteries here in Vallo where I may dedicate myself in solitary penance?

Yrs,
Wm. Laurence

(Post a new comment)

	tevene 2021-11-16 10:08 pm UTC (link)
	>> Maker's cock, a monastery? >> Do I look like I frequent monasteries, William Laurence? >> What happened? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	withallmyheart 2021-11-16 10:14 pm UTC (link)
	>> ~~Why that obscenity?~~ >> No, I suppose not. It's too dreadful, really, but I think it's safe to say that I can never again show my face in polite society. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tevene 2021-11-16 10:16 pm UTC (link)
	>> You can't just say something juicy like that and then not elaborate >> It's rude (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	withallmyheart 2021-11-16 10:22 pm UTC (link)
	>> Oh very well, the speaking of it cannot be any worse than the doing of it. >> ~~And I rather suspect you'd not be nearly as horrified as you ought.~~ >> Have you much experience with computers? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tevene 2021-11-16 10:38 pm UTC (link)
	>> I've been here for over a year's time and have learned much since >> So yes, enough experience I suppose >> Why? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

withallmyheart
2021-11-16 11:57 pm UTC (link)

>> I've been trying to familiarize myself with the technology of this time, and so I've purchased a laptop and set up an e-mail account
>> A man purporting to be a displaced Outlander prince had e-mailed me, asking for assistance, and so I opened the file
>> Dorian, it contained not a plea for assistance, but the most godless, salacious content I've ever lain witness to.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tevene 2021-11-17 12:01 am UTC (link)
	>> MAKER >> Why are you so unintentionally hilarious >> I cannot stop laughing >> I also cannot send this >> DELETE DELETE DELETE >> Did it contain heterosexual pornography? >> If so, my condolences >> That would have seared my eyeballs as well (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	withallmyheart 2021-11-17 12:06 am UTC (link)
	>> Yes. >> Very loud heterosexual pornography. >> I was in public, Dorian. >> The owner of the building - a woman - had to assist me. >> I would rather commit treason again than relive it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tevene 2021-11-17 12:08 am UTC (link)
	>> Oh no, it's worse when it's loud >> I'm so sorry >> How can I help you take your mind off of this travesty? >> Though on the bright side, it can be counted as a learning experience? >> At least >> Never trust a displaced prince >> Royalty in general, really >> Nothing good there (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	withallmyheart 2021-11-17 12:31 am UTC (link)
	>> I don't suppose there is anything for it. >> Unless you know some magic to undo it all. >> I've always considered myself a loyal subject of the Crown. >> Though yes, lessons were learned, in regards to both trusting men named Humperdinck and in opening untrustworthy email attachments. >> A hard lesson, but a lesson nonetheless. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tevene 2021-11-17 12:34 am UTC (link)
	>> Oh, it's quite easy to erase memories with magic >> It's never something I recommend, however >> I can ramble instead? >> Tell you all about Beketh, the coven I just joined >> Perhaps bring more wine at some point >> ~~A hard something, alright--~~ >> Valuable lesson indeed >> If I ever find this Humperdinck, I will not be mincing words (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

withallmyheart
2021-11-17 12:44 am UTC (link)

>> I suppose it would be unfair unless you could also clear the memory of everyone I subjected to such things as well.
>> The same Beketh who made that decedent blackberry chocolate?
>> Please, do tell me more. Some good news would not be remiss.
>> I'm headed to the Cloud Recesses to hide away for some time, but perhaps after?

>> I rather suspect there is no Prince Humperdinck at all.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

tevene
2021-11-17 12:47 am UTC (link)

>> Indeed, that very same Beketh
>> And since I like you, I will share the blackberry chocolate I now have prime access to
>> I am to teach them more offensive Necromancy spells
>> They are very...standoffish, I think? But I have been working my way into their good graces for awhile and the invitation feels well-earned
>> I will gladly bring wine and chocolate whenever you are free too, of course

>> No!
>> Awful
>> But you may be right about that
>> Humperdinck is but a mirage

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	withallmyheart 2021-11-17 12:53 am UTC (link)
	>> I would be in your debt if you would. >> But I'm glad for you. There's little more rewarding than reaching a long sought after goal. >> Perhaps I should be the one providing the wine. >> Now I suspect that you're having fun at my expense. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tevene 2021-11-17 12:56 am UTC (link)
	>> I will not complain, in that case >> A nice Merlot might go best with the dark chocolate >> Never, my dearest friend >> Even if I am certain that, one day, you will look back upon this and laugh (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	withallmyheart 2021-11-17 01:19 am UTC (link)
	>> Merlot was what we had last time, was it not? I agree, it pairs quite nicely. I'll be sure to find a good one. Do you have any recommendations? >> I'm quite certain that this will haunt my nightmares until I pass. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tevene 2021-11-17 01:24 am UTC (link)
	>> Hmmmm >> Something medium-bodied >> It goes well with the smoothness of chocolate >> Oh, come now >> I'll be sure to check back in with you in six months to see how true that still is (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	withallmyheart 2021-11-17 05:38 am UTC (link)
	>> I'll do my best to choose something suitable. >> Hopefully I'll still not wish to crawl under a rock in sixmonth, but I suppose we'll see. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Laurence \| Lan Xichen zewujun 2021-11-16 10:09 pm UTC (link)
	I am always happy to have you visit at Cloud Recesses. Please, come whenever you like. Are you all right? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Laurence \| Lan Xichen withallmyheart 2021-11-16 10:18 pm UTC (link)
	I'll be there shortly. I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed in all my life, Xichen. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Laurence \| Lan Xichen zewujun 2021-11-16 10:20 pm UTC (link)
	Surely it wasn't as bad as you think, whatever you did. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Laurence \| Lan Xichen withallmyheart 2021-11-16 10:25 pm UTC (link)
	I suspect it must be worse, really. I've never before thought that my father may have been right in wanting me to join the Church, though I suspect now he may have known best. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Laurence \| Lan Xichen zewujun 2021-11-17 12:26 am UTC (link)
	You didn't kill anyone, did you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Laurence \| Lan Xichen withallmyheart 2021-11-17 12:40 am UTC (link)
	Never outside of combat, I assure you. No, it was nothing so severe, though much more mortifying. I don't suppose you've had much experience with computers or email attachments since you've arrived? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Laurence \| Lan Xichen zewujun 2021-11-17 12:53 am UTC (link)
	Only a bit. Tina and Thurvishar both send emails, sometimes with calendars or documents attached. None of them have ever been the cause of mortification, though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Laurence \| Lan Xichen withallmyheart 2021-11-17 01:14 am UTC (link)
	I hope very dearly that you'll never open any suspicious seeming email attachments then, and perhaps this whole terrible incident might have some good come of it. The one I opened this afternoon contained a virus that subjected myself and everyone around me to the sights and sounds of raucous copulation. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Laurence \| Lan Xichen zewujun 2021-11-17 02:35 am UTC (link)
	Like those moving pictures people put on the network? While you were out in public? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Laurence \| Lan Xichen withallmyheart 2021-11-17 05:41 am UTC (link)
	Precisely so. I've not the slightest idea why anyone would want to send me such a thing, or why they'd create such a virus in the first place, but I could have happily lived my entire life without seeing it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Laurence \| Lan Xichen zewujun 2021-11-17 01:32 pm UTC (link)
	I've seen students do something similar with the yellow books that were popular in my home world - slipping one into someone's serious studies so they find lusty drawings in the middle of their work - but adding sound seems like a bit much. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Laurence | Lan Xichen

withallmyheart
2021-11-17 01:41 pm UTC (link)

The men of my crew, too, would often purchase books filled with such illustrations, though to the best of my knowledge, it was only passed around to me who also wished to see. I suppose it's not impossible that they kept such pranks from my knowledge, knowing my feelings on the matter.

The things they were saying, Xichen. It was truly vulgar. I can never return to that coffee shop.

(Reply to this) (Parent)