Leon Orcot (motherofdragon) wrote in valloic, @ 2021-11-02 14:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | !: action/thread/log, ₴ inactive: james barlow, ₴ inactive: leon orcot |
Who: Leon Orcot and James Barlow
What: Leon goes to surprise James with mousse during his break, James tries to tell Leon he's not handling things as well as he thinks he is
When: This afternoon
Where: James' office
Warnings: Language, making out
Leon was doing his best to just not think about what had happened with Vorerra and Mathis. Luckily for him, he was an old hat at avoiding that sort of thing, and his technique generally involved just filling every available moment with something else. He was finding extra time on the ice to increase his skating abilities, and was working out a little harder outside of that. To not think of the fact that he wouldn’t be seeing D again, he’d signed out a number of books from the library about recent Vallo civic history (he didn’t need to know about Troll Rebellions from hundreds of years ago, or whatever, but if he was going to be living someplace, then he should at least know the last twenty years of politics or so), and if he’d been drinking and smoking more than he had beforehand, well, it wasn’t enough to impact his work (at least, not after that first patrol and hockey game after everything had gone down).
He couldn’t take more patrol shifts, even if he wanted to, and there was only so much paperwork and stocking to do at Rose Apothecary, which was why Leon had a number of job interviews lined up this afternoon. And it why he was dressed in a nice dress shirt, tie, and slacks instead of his usual weird t-shirt and jeans combo.
And there was, of course, there was James, who Leon hesitated to call a distraction just because being around James actually made him feel good instead of just feeling occupied. He’d texted James, asking what time his break was scheduled for, and had been pleased to see that it fell between a couple interviews, though he wouldn’t tell James why he wanted to know. He stopped by a dessert shop, and having another twenty minutes to kill, he stopped by a bar that was near the hospital for a quick beer while he waited, chatting with the bartender as he drank, and then it was time to head over.
It wasn’t too hard to get directions to James’ office from reception, and he hoped that James hadn’t decided to step out for his break instead of just hanging around. He took a moment to check his hair in the reflection of a window before he knocked on his door.
In James’s experience, it was true that ‘psych wards’ got a bad rap - the media didn’t really help with that either. Most every movie or television show portrayed these particular hospital floors as places of shadow and various terrors, but the reality was that it was not much different than any other floor? Physical exams and vital sign checks, EKG machines, and of course lab work - there were also other things going on too. Some patients sang to themselves, some played musical instruments, others created works of art worthy of museums - most of the time it was quiet, however, save for the moments where chair-throwing or screaming happened. Those moments could be tense, but luckily it wasn’t like that now. It was just James returning to his office from a series of exams, catching up on patient notes before he heard the knock.
He still had on his doctor’s coat when he answered, pen back in the pocket protector and overall looking pretty much back up to snuff - he was feeling alright, physically, even if he was a little concerned about Leon. Their relationship had kicked off in a very interesting way, and James was all in - the newness of it was quite exciting and he also wanted to do his best to be a good partner even when it wasn’t so new. A supportive partner.
“Oh, look at you,” he greeted, taking hold of that tie Leon wore and tugging a little, gently. “Come on in. What’s got you all dressed up?”
Leon grinned when he saw James, and only grinned wider when he tugged on his tie. “Look at you,” he shot back. “That coat does things to me, Doc.” He stepped into his office, leaning in to give James a quick kiss as he did so.
“I’ve got a couple job interviews lined up today, so I figured I should probably try to at least look half-decent. I’ve got some time to kill between them though, and I thought I’d bring you a snack.” He gestured a little with the paper gift bag, emblazoned with the logo of the dessert shop, that contained the chocolate mousse and fresh strawberries he’d picked up. He didn’t know if James liked mousse at all, but he’d mentioned chocolate cake before so Leon figured he wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of chocolate in general.
The coat did things to him? Hm, consider him flattered. Safe to say the coat had likely ceased being an attractive focal point to everyone else, or never was in the first place. “You have interesting tastes, Orcot,” James chuckled, shutting the office door behind them and heading around to his desk so he could offer proper seating - on the way though, he definitely stopped and grabbed Leon’s tie to use it as a hand-hold when James gave him another kiss. It was so rare that he did wear a tie, so may as well take advantage - it was almost strange to see him lacking one of those eye-searing shirts and good old-fashioned blue jeans.
“I’m hungry too, so this works well - “ He took the bag and opened it up to reveal mousse and strawberries, a good combination; James did love chocolate. Though he knew Leon wasn’t a sweets fan, so to bring it by here was, well, also sweet. “Don’t you already have a job - two?” he asked, finding a plastic spoon in the bag and offering one of the strawberries, at least. Fruit wasn’t as dessert-y as the actual thing.
The doctor's coats had never really done much for Leon before, but there was something about the way it hung off James' shoulders that was sexy as hell. He returned James' kiss eagerly, and was now regretting coming to visit him at work at all, because all he wanted to do was jump him. He forced himself to sit down instead.
He took the strawberry without comment, tossing it in his mouth. "Yeah, but it's not like either one of them is a full-time gig," he said. "I was looking at a few overnight security jobs. There's one at an art museum that looks promising, and if they're willing to overlook that ten-year gap in my resume, I'm probably overqualified. But I'm interviewing at some malls and amusement parks too."
If he was lucky, he might be able to get a part-time day shift too, except the shifting nature of his patrol shifts might make that tricky. He figured it the on-call shifts were probably going to be a hard enough sell.
James leaned against the edge of his desk, the mousse container now popped open - and he mixed a couple of the strawberries in there. So few ingredients, such deliciousness - it was the fluffier and lighter cousin to pudding and he was a fan. Probably wasn’t the healthiest lunch, really, but it was definitely tastier than the leftovers he brought to heat up in the break room. Besides, the sugar buzz would keep him going for a decent amount of time anyway.
“Are you going to bring this back to the shop if I say that I’m kind of concerned about how you seem to think there’s more than twenty-four hours in a day?” he wanted to know, with a quirk of one of those expressive eyebrows. Part-time or not, the fact that one job was overnight? Really. That sort of had James squinting.
He was concerned about a few things, admittedly, but he wouldn’t open up this conversation by going balls to the walls quite yet. You had to ease into these things sometimes.
“I mean, I was considering it, but you already opened it so I guess I’m fucked,” Leon said, with a bit of a grin. “But it won’t be a problem, trust me. I usually only sleep like, four or five hours a night anyway, so I’ll still have plenty of time to see you. Maybe not always on patrol days, but I’ll make time.”
Because that was obviously where James’ concern was coming from. He’d dated girls before who’d been frustrated that work always came first with Leon, so he got it.
Telling a medical doctor that you only slept like, four or five hours a night anyway - you may as well have licked the floor in his presence or something. James just about had a coronary (alright, maybe not that dramatic) and cleared his throat, to try to dislodge the hairball that had gotten stuck there.
Gods. He had enough trouble with Julia, who slept a kid hopped up on sugar the night before Christmas - that was due to a lot of things, however. A lot of trauma that she repressed and stuffed down into a dark, dank box as if that was any better; they both needed therapy, together, but convincing her to try it together was a whole other battle. Hopefully it would be different with Leon, at least a little - James didn’t want it to be another uphill battle.
“I’m not necessarily worried about face time with you,” he shared. “I’m worried about you overall because - you’re not actually dealing with what happened. Staying busy doesn’t always mean staying productive.”
Trauma survivors, some of them, coped by overworking - grief took many forms. But getting lost in work so you didn’t notice any other discomforts, it wasn’t healthy. And he knew that from firsthand experience. “I’m going to use the word feelings a lot so please humor me, but - you can go slow, when it comes to processing those feelings. That’s fine. But you can’t ignore them.”
Leon's smile faded, his eyes darting quickly to the closed door and back without even realizing he'd done so. Maybe he shouldn't have swung by during James' break. It was obvious he was still in Work Mode.
"I am dealing with it. It's dealt with." Mostly dealt with. If he still thought about it sometimes, unwelcome flashes that made his stomach roll, it was only because it had been so recent. Like how he still sometimes thought of that delicious burger he'd had last week. "I'm fine James, I promise."
“Do you honestly expect me to believe that?”
Because James didn’t. At all. Mousse set down, he scooted closer - he was all body heat and gentleness when he stroked his thumbs over Leon’s cheekbones, cradling his face, but was also fully prepared to wrestle him to the floor to prevent him from running away from The Difficult Conversations (being an adult was really hard sometimes, James would fully admit that).
“I don’t say this as your psychiatrist or even as a psychiatrist. I say it as someone who has been guilty of the same thing before and who wants to be with you, and cares about you.” Otherwise, he wouldn’t have said anything at all - he’d just let Leon go and work himself to death, not acknowledging the hard parts of a relationship or the fact that both of them had flaws. He wanted more than the sugary, candy coating though - that never lasted.
"Why wouldn't you? I do," Leon said, frowning now. "Listen, James, this isn't the first shitty thing that's happened to me, and it probably won't be the last. I’ll get over it."
He blinked, and shook his head in an effort to dislodge James' warm, distracting hand. "And anyway, this wasn't something that happened to me. This was something I did to you." If he felt like garbage about it, it was because he deserved to. Mathis may have gotten into his head, but it’s not like he did any lasting damage. Leon hadn’t had a mark on him, except the bruises Julia had left, and those had been nothing compared to getting shot. “How are you dealing?” he asked, resting a hand on James’ leg. “Getting shot can mess with you for a little while.”
Why wouldn’t he believe the bullshit ‘I’m fine’ platitudes? Was that a serious question? “Because you lie to yourself to feel better,” James stated bluntly, and he wasn’t doing any mind reading now - it was simply a reaction that ran rampant in the circles of humanity. And human nature was a funny thing. “That’s why I don’t believe it, and I’m not going to let it go either - so don’t expect me to just drop it.”
His fingers curled in the collar of Leon’s dress shirt, and James leaned in to nose at the sharp edge of his jawline - and of course James wouldn’t let it go. He was stubborn but he was also a caregiver - he was patient, and had to be in his line of work. Not only that, but he wouldn’t give a bullshit platitude in response either, especially if he was trying to practice what he preached.
“Gun violence is nothing new for Vorerra but it’s the first time I’ve been shot,” he said. “So I’m moving along. There’s a lot beyond the physical I have to work through too, when it comes to my family. Figure out how to be a part of a coven again. That sort of thing.” He wanted to try though - that was why he was interested in Asetenarra, hoping they would be open to accepting him.
Leon felt a stab of irritation, and he grabbed at James’ wrist, intending, at first, to pull him off his shirt because he was not lying to himself and he was fine, and James really was better off to just leave it alone.
Except as his fingers closed around James’ wrist, he realized that just because all of the above was definitely and completely true, that didn’t mean he had to go wasting a good thing because of it. He changed his grip a little, slipping his fingers under the cuff of James’ sleeve, brought his other hand up to James’ hair, and turned his head so he could catch James’ lips with his own. He broke the kiss just long enough to ask, “So, you’re gonna join another coven?” and then moved on to ravage his jawline instead so that James would have a chance to answer.
He felt Leon’s body tense and then relax a little - probably squashing the urge to run, or to push him away, which James appreciated because that wouldn’t get them anywhere; it was interesting to sort of feel the thought process without actually seeing it, however. Mindreading wasn’t going to help the situation, especially given the way Leon’s mind had previously been invaded (despite how, yes, most people wished they could read their partner’s mind) - and James wanted to allow room for trust here.
“Probably,” he murmured, tilting his head a bit so as to allow for better jawline access. His arms slipped around Leon fully - aha, octopus hold - and he needed to have someplace to put his hands, so obnoxiously slipping them into Leon’s back pockets and going for the ass-grab would have to do. “One with...a little more flexibility in terms of loyalty and openness. One I’m not born into.”
James would try to get Julia involved too - he thought that being a part of something positive would do the both of them some good, but he also knew his sister well enough to understand he couldn’t push her into it either. Not that he would - he wasn’t the pushy type, not really.
Leon made a noise in the back of his throat, trying to concentrate on what James was saying but only half-succeeding. He was having enough trouble, as he shifted to pin James to his seat, hand trailing from his hair to his chest, trying to remember that he should really be keeping things PG-13, given their location.
“Good. That’s good,” he said, moving down to James’ neck. “That’ll be good.” He tried to make a grab for their name and failed; he had more important things to think about, like kissing James. “The bonfire ones?”
“Asetenarra,” James chuckled, landing on his chair with an oomph - and pulling Leon with him, because if they wanted to test the construction of this high-backed seating then so be it. He wasn’t sure how many pounds it could hold, but two grown men on it might be a bit of a challenge. “Yes, the bonfire ones. They seem welcoming to new members, and one of the Outlanders recently joined - it’s blood magic that they do, of course, but she said the sigils aren’t too hard to learn.”
He worked with sigils a little bit, but nothing extensive - plus most of Vorerra’s magic was all about the offense, only a little bit defense (mind shields being an example of the defense). Their spells were dark and more twisted than a Halloween jack-o-lantern grin; with Asetenarra, the term blood magic only sounded foreboding. They used their own blood, first and foremost. Or, if it was an animal’s blood, asked permission first.
“You know I’m likely going to mess up your clothes for your seventy-fifth job interview,” he added, trying to figure out how to go about this - he settled for getting his hands between Leon’s knees and groping outside his pants; he’d just have to think of not-sexy things during that interview.
"They seem nice," Leon said, not fighting James as he pulled him into the chair. It creaked ominously, though Leon hardly noticed. The idea of blood magic kind of creeped him out, but it wasn't the only kind of magic that had, and Asetenarra hadn't really given out 'creepy blood mage' vibes. They were all kinda awkward, really, and Leon didn't think that he'd made a great first impression, but then, Leon hardly had. Besides, it had given him a chance to sit on that terrible excuse for a chair with James.
A photograph flashed in his mind and he felt a spreading chill in the pit of his stomach, and he kissed James hard, melting the ice with a wave of fire, making sure that the only reason his heart was pounding in his chest was because of the things James could do to him.
"My what?" he breathed, not really able to think of anything but James' hands, and then glanced at his watch. "Oh fuck." He broke away; no more kissing, even if he didn't quite get up from James' lap. He didn't have to leave just yet, but he was going to have to start thinking not-sexy thoughts if he intended to get out of this room, and he was absolutely going to have to take a few minutes in front of a mirror somewhere if he was going to have a hope of looking halfway presentable.
James grabbed Leon’s tie again and used it as a handhold, an anchor, to plant another kiss on him - but on the corner of his mouth this time, not a full-on liplock. It was sweet, and affectionate, less about ripping his pants off - though James was pretty tempted by that as well.
“Go on and do your interview,” he insisted - it was fine. He’d just be here, finishing up that mousse and attempting to get work done but likely failing. “But you’ll think about what I said - promise? Please?”
He tried to look imploring, at least. The color blue burned like oxygenated flames - electrical impulses, surging beneath the skin.
Leon frowned. He was pretty sure that he’d started kissing James in the first place so he’d forget about that particular train of thought, but apparently all Leon had managed to accomplish was distracting himself. Part of him was tempted to just blow off the interview altogether and stay here, except James had to get back to work too, probably, so that was a bad plan.
He sighed, taking a moment to smooth James’ hair and straighten the lapel on his coat. Probably better if the psychiatrist didn’t look like he’d just been making out like a teenager in his office. Then, cupping his face with both hands, Leon kissed him again and stood up. “I’m telling you, I’m fine,” he insisted again. “But…” He rubbed the side of his head. “But I’ll think about what you said. You’re gonna eat that mousse, right?”
“I will, yes,” James promised, laughing a little - though his smile was clearly an expression of relief because at least thinking about it was getting them someplace and not a stalemate. He stood from his chair, going for another smooth-down of his doctor’s coat - his hair was definitely a little make-out rumpled but he had a mirror in here so he’d fix it in a moment, after he walked Leon out. “Thanks again for bringing it. I’ll text you once I’m off?”
It’d probably be some normal hour, at least - he too was trying to not bury himself in work, like he had done so many times in the past.
“Good,” Leon said. He stole a spoonful of the mousse himself - just because he didn’t like desserts didn’t mean he wouldn’t eat them - and then straightened his tie. “Yeah, I can bring by some take-out later if you wanted to do dinner? How do I look?”
Now that they both didn’t look like they’d been fooling around in a medical facility - well, sort of. James was probably still a little flushed but not in a bad way - it had been awhile since he had someone come by and see him while he was working, just to get a makeout session in. Or if at all, actually - lots of this was new for him, and he wasn’t complaining.
“You look nice,” he assured, thumbs stroking Leon’s cheekbones as James leaned in to kiss him goodbye. “Takeout sounds good. I’ll be hungry for most anything by that point. And will request the infamous Orcot Burgers at a later date too.”
Don’t think he’d forgotten about those, boyfriend.
Really, Leon had come by just to see James in general, and now that he knew that make-out sessions were on the table, he might have to make a point of coming by more often. He leaned into James’ touch, fought the urge to ask if James wanted to blow off the rest of his work day - it wasn’t like he was stocking shelves in the local convenience store or anything - and returned his kiss, Leon’s lips tasting like chocolate.
“Famous. There’s nothing infamous about them,” Leon said, snorting. Well, maybe a heart doctor might consider them infamous, but it wasn’t like Leon was making them for cardiologists. He leaned forward to give James another peck on the lips, and then before he could let himself get distracted by an infinite loop of goodbye kisses, he pulled open the door. “I’ll see you tonight. Try not to get stuck here too late, alright?”
James made a sound like hmmm which was teasing judgment - because honestly, overworking wasn’t going to be an issue with him. Probably. “I won’t - I’ll clock out at a normal hour,” he assured, and he meant that because he didn’t seem particularly eager to stay here until he was bloodshot in the eyes and about to facedesk from exhaustion. Maybe before he would have but now he actually had reasons to not do that, despite his own personal issues.
And they’d revisit other issues later too. Promise.