Log: Lan Xichen and Dorian Pavus WHO: Lan Xichen and Dorian Pavus WHEN: The day after Lan Xichen's Katamari ordeal WHERE: The Elegant Room at Cloud Recesses SUMMARY: Tea and Sympathy WARNINGS: Lackadaisical approach to tea protocol, References to getting stuck to a ball and rolled around
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Cloud Recesses was beautiful, as Dorian discovered - he’d never been before and yet was thrilled to receive an invitation from Lan Xichen, extending an offer for tea. He was also putting a great deal of thought into what to bring with him as a ‘thank you kindly for hosting’ gift - it all ranged from what passed as tea in Thedas (Tevinter, admittedly, controlled much of the tea flow and trade along with Rivain, the climate there rife for such things) such as various herbs and flowers steeped in hot water and sweetened with a bit of honey, to more silk for Lan Xichen’s designs, to something else entirely. That ‘something else entirely’ was what Dorian ultimately went with - a blank runestone, something he could add an elemental essence to (fire or frost, preferably) in order to create a finished rune meant to enhance any weapon. Or it could just sit around and look pretty, that too - the fire runes were quite lovely, circular in shape and a myriad of colors mixed together, purple and orange which favored a brilliant sunset.
When he arrived at Cloud Recesses he stopped to admire the look of the mist for a moment, how it seemed to resemble candy floss - or even something as vast and beautiful as the sea; some mist fragments sailed on their own, others hung motionless and reminded him of separate towers. He stood by the gate, sending Lan Xichen a message saying he had arrived - but he certainly wouldn’t mind waiting a bit longer out here to take in the scenery.
After leaving Skyhold and settling in with Marina, who lived in the city, he had almost forgotten that there were places in Vallo that weren’t so congested. It was a pleasant reminder.
Lan Xichen didn't leave Dorian to contemplate the scenery or the famous Wall of Discipline for too long. Knowing he had a guest arriving, he'd stayed relatively close to the front of the estate, and was thus quickly available to open the warded gate and make a bow of greeting.
"Dorian, thank you for visiting." Lan Xichen still found it odd how familiarly people would address each other in Vallo, but yesterday he and all the rabbits of Cloud Recesses had been attached to a ball and rolled all around the forest. It was hard to be troubled by manners after that.
The bow always seemed to tickle Dorian - in a good way, of course (he enjoyed a fun bit of tickling). Thus, it was returned with a grand gesture of his own - another one of those flourishes, a twist of hand and a stooping at the waist with an arm behind his back. “Thank you for inviting me,” he replied. “I’m quite looking forward to seeing your place. It’s lovely even from the outside. You’ve lived here for how long, back in your world?”
Judging by how many rules were etched onto the Wall of Discipline (which - do not rise after 5 am? He’d hate to disappoint, Wall, but Dorian Pavus was not a morning person), he gathered there was a great deal of history and stories to be shared about Cloud Recesses. Provided Lan Xichen wanted to share any at all, of course.
"All my life," Lan Xichen replied. He gestured to the walkway with an elegant (never excessive) swish of his silk sleeve to indicate the direction and began leading the way back up the path. "I was born here, as my father was, and his father. The Gusu Lan have called Cloud Recesses our home for generations. I was glad to find it here, given how much of Vallo is very foreign to me."
“Yes, there’s so much in Vallo that can be considered foreign - even now,” Dorian chuckled, following along. “I was here a year ago for what could be considered ‘the pumpkin spice craze’ and I still don’t quite understand.” Perhaps some things he just wasn’t meant to be privy to? That was alright - he had his own interests, his own passions and duties and while he was always open to learning something new, not all of it was going to stick.
Pumpkin spice didn’t stick. Neither did the idea of going into a Wal-Mart. It seemed terrifying. Like he needed to cleanse the place with fire first.
Everything was so green here. Fresh and floral. It was pleasant to take in, though he attempted to pay attention to where they were going and not trip in an undignified sort of way (likely that would break one of the etched rules). “I brought you a blank runestone, by the way - I’m uncertain if you’ve ever crafted runes with one before or not, but they’re nice to look at, if nothing else.”
“A runestone?” Lan Xichen’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “No, I have not had the privilege. We do a lot of cultivation work with paper and sigils, but I’ve never worked in stone before.”
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered what a pumpkin was. Maybe it was a kind of spice, since Dorian said pumpkin spice? Lan Xichen filed it away to ask about when they sat down to tea.
Ah, so he chose wisely so that was good. Runes weren’t really in Dorian’s wheelhouse but he had a few staves with the addition of them, to up the ante on his elemental spells and even some of his spirit spells - they were certainly useful though, and Dagna was a fantastic arcanist with the schematics and spellwork needed to carve masterful runes; Dorian missed her presence sometimes.
“An opportunity to do something new, then,” he tossed a smile Lan Xichen’s way. “How has your cultivation work been going here? Should I have brought more paper instead?” On his end, he found that whole thing infinitely fascinating - plus calligraphy, and how watching the brush strokes happened to be oddly soothing.
“No, no, this is a very fine gift, thank you,” Lan Xichen replied. “I’ll enjoy experimenting with something new. Just the one meeting of the outlander coven has sparked an interest in all sorts of things for me.”
It was rather exciting to actually feel like doing something again. Lan Xichen had been so deeply depressed in his own world, even eating a meal seemed like too much effort. Coming to Vallo was such a shock to his system that it had jostled him out of it, to an extent. He’d still get lost in his own thoughts too easily, still came down too hard on himself, still fretted over who and what he could trust...but food had taste again, good conversation could bring pleasure, and unique magical techniques drew interest once more. It was a good change.
“Oh, yes, the Outlander Coven is very inspirational,” Dorian nodded. “If you plan to attend all of the meetings, I’ll be sure to save you a space near me so we can sit together. And if you’d like to meet with the Beketh coven sometime, I can attempt to arrange it - they’re very...exclusive, shall we say?”
They didn’t let just anyone come visit their cave dwellings, but their longevity was impressive and their magic even more - he did feel as if he fit there, notes in a pleasing musical chord that went together well. He thought that Lan Xichen would get along with them too.
The runestone he brought, it was smooth as the silk he’d directed his tea companion to on one of his first days here, and Dorian reached into the pocket of his blazer for the offering. “It was actually quite a rare find, a blank runestone,” he said. “Only certain merchants carried them. We traveled all over Thedas and picked up all sorts of unique crafting materials.”
“To travel so much must have been exciting,” Lan Xichen replied. “I was never able to see as much of my world as I would have liked to. The business of running a sect took priority almost from the moment I was old enough to travel on my own.”
The path from the foot of the mountain felt shorter in Vallo than it was at home, Lan Xichen thought, but he wasn’t sure if it actually was or not. A lot of things in Vallo felt different, and with only a few weeks on the island, Lan Xichen was still in the process of getting his mind wrapped around them. Regardless, they reached Cloud Recesses proper fairly quickly, and Lan Xichen led Dorian to the Yashi, where he had taken to bringing visitors who were not coming with some specific purpose. The Yashi was a space Lan Xichen felt comfortable in, and more casual than the Main Hall, but still one meant to be public. He and Lan Wangji used to eat watermelon there in the summer, and it carried none of the baggage that some other parts of the estate did. That made it a good place to set up tea on a low table for new friends from this much more casual world.
Lan Xichen sat at the table first - bringing in a few visitors had taught him quickly that most people of Vallo weren’t quite sure how to come to the low furniture he was accustomed to. As a host, it was his job to make guests comfortable, and he found that demonstrating the appropriate approach was less obtrusive than giving verbal direction. Sitting and then gesturing to the cushion across from him got the point across more often than not, even if most of Vallo had clearly never been instructed on sitting properly. (It was fine, they fit right in with Wei Wuxian, who simply never bothered to sit properly even though he knew how.)
Dorian was what we may call sharp - intelligent, yes? And good at following non-verbal instructions. Thus, he was able to mirror Lan Xichen’s movements decently enough, when he made a place for himself at the other side of the low table. The runestone was placed in between them.
“If you could go anywhere, where would that be?” he wanted to know. “In your world, or - any world, I suppose. I always find it interesting to hear tales about space - the galaxies and whatnot, just living amongst the stars.” That sort of thing was unheard of in Thedas. It had been only very recently that scholars began to question what was beyond their world, their continent - and what truly lurked far past any realm of what they could actually see in front of them.
"I never imagined the sort of worlds that some people here came from," Lan Xichen replied. "Or a world like this one. The world I came from seems very small in comparison. I'd thought of going to Meishan or to the eastern sea as distant journeys from my home and now…"
He gave a light, elegant shrug, as if to gesture generally to Vallo as a whole and every world it connected to in a glorious spider's web of universes. It was beyond comprehension on such a short acquaintance with the idea.
“Are you appreciative of sea life?” Dorian asked, sounding delighted - not because he had any great desire to set sail, but simply because he enjoyed traveling. “I get a bit boatsick myself. I discovered that when I crossed the Waking Sea, to get to the Inquisitor.” To the Inquisition itself, really - and how long ago that seemed. When he had broken away from Tevinter, from the nobility, from his blood ties - literally, he'd had nothing, just a bad hangover from sowing all those rebellious wild oats.
He’d come so far. And he sat primly now, folding his hands in his lap. “But I know what you mean. It’s as if you want to learn everything about other worlds but sometimes it seems quite impossible. Still, I suppose that won’t stop me from trying.”
“Indeed not.” Lan Xichen inclined his head slightly toward Dorian to indicate his agreement before he began pouring tea - first in Dorian’s cup, then in his own. “Perfection being impossible is no reason to stop striving for it.”
He was trying to be a little kinder to himself, but the belief in the possibility of improvement actually helped with that. Lan Xichen could forgive himself for falling short of perfect knowledge and wisdom as long as he kept moving toward them. That was about as easygoing as anybody raised in the Gusu Lan sect was ever going to be.
“Well - funny you say that,” Dorian huffed, watching as Lan Xichen poured the tea. The liquid splashed into the cup and his stormy grey gaze focused intensely on what was happening there. “It may be impossible but it was what was expected of me in my homeland. It’s what’s expected of all of us, should you have a blood lineage similar to mine. Is it terrible that I don’t even want to care about how I’m supposed to be perfect?”
A perfect son (too late for that now - his father was dead and his mother all but blamed him for that), a perfect Magister falling in line (stepping a toe out of line meant that you had a target painted on your back and, oh, he’d already accomplished that too given his calls for change and reform), a perfect mage. It was soul-crushing and heart-crushing, and that was the problem - he always had too much heart, and that alone was a disappointment unto itself. Especially in a place like Tevinter.
“No,” Lan Xichen replied. The precepts stated: be hard on yourself, be easy on others. It was one of the nigh-endless rules that he currently thought was worth keeping, unlike the ones about running and talking at meals. More than that, though, Dorian’s quandary brought to mind the troubles Lan Xichen had been working through for himself.
“The expectations placed based on lineage are often set on a shallow type of perfection,” he continued. “A perfectly cultivated image rather than a perfectly cultivated spirit. Don’t run, instead of take time to appreciate the world around you and the time and place in which you are.”
The tea certainly smelled good. Dorian wrapped his fingers around the cup, just letting the heat seep into his skin. “Yes, image is - far too important,” he agreed. “It’s all about image. Never showing weakness - “ You keep it hurting because you believe hurting is who you are, Cole once said to him. A swift summary of his very personality, beyond the parts that burned and sparked like a firework to all who were around him. There was an emotional pain that went deep within him, one that he hadn’t always wanted to face.
During the Inquisition, he did. He faced the fact that he drank himself into a stupor every night to forget what a miserable fucking failure he had been. There was a reason temptation was his greatest fear too, but let’s not get into being ‘called out’ by demons, shall we?
“I’m honestly still very tired of it and while it’s gotten better at home, well - “ He then rubbed the fingers of his other hand over his forehead, thinking. “Let’s just say I don’t wish to return anytime soon.”
“I can understand that,” Lan Xichen replied. He would have been more comfortable at home, himself, but he also wouldn’t have the freedom to rewrite the clan rules and sort out his own feelings about everything in his life. There was something to be said for not-home. After all, he knew from experience-- “Never showing weakness is exhausting.” He paused and tilted his head slightly to the side. “Though so is being attached to a giant sticky ball. That, however, was very temporary.”
What?
Dorian wasn’t expecting that addition, especially during such a solemn conversation. He laughed, a surprised and clear sound that was all shades of delighted - and was there a rule about how you couldn’t laugh jovially in such a sacred place? Probably. He couldn’t help it, however. Genuine laughs were welcomed by him and had become sort of rare as of late.
“You’re very pretty and very humorous,” he complimented. “But yes, no matter what, I’m glad you got out of that...sticky situation.”
That was a terrible pun he just made, and he wasn’t sorry.
There were, of course, rules about laughter. More than one, in fact, and several that didn’t mention laughter specifically but did forbid noise and excessive emotion in more general ways. Lan Xichen had trained himself out of laughing, for the most part, and tended to meet the best of jokes with no more than a smile and perhaps a faint huff of air. He’d long thought that Cloud Recesses could do with more laughter, though, and accordingly didn’t mind it from Dorian. It was nice, actually; he could see now what Laurence meant about a laugh being a high compliment to the storyteller.
Dorian’s pun, unlike his laugh, was dreadful. The juniors would have loved it. Lan Xichen’s lips twitched into a smile at it just the same, indicating that he caught the joke but refused to be impressed.
“It was awful,” he said. “I was sitting with the rabbits on the hillside, and then we were all stuck to that horrible ball that rolled through the forest yesterday. Travel on the water has never made me feel sick, but being spun around like a child’s toy certainly did.”
Alright, forgive him, but Dorian was still laughing. Not uproariously, of course, but a smooth and fond chuckle and as he conjured up this hilarious mental image Lan Xichen was providing. “I imagine that would make anyone feel sick,” he allowed. “Though it must have made for some fantastic photo opportunities. A shame that none were preserved for all of eternity.” Or were they?
He lifted his cup of tea, blowing on the hot liquid a little to cool it down slightly. “Is it appropriate to make a toast in honor of something, or is there other proper tea protocol?” Perhaps they could even toast to getting out of sticky situations.
“There are a number of tea protocols for various teas, places, circumstances, and people, but I don’t find any of them as important as enjoying a cup with a friend,” Lan Xichen replied. He smiled, putting aside the memory of the awful katamari, and lifted his tea cup with both hands. “Make a toast if you like, and I will gladly drink with you.”
A toast, then. Dorian considered what he would say - this seemed important, after all, and he didn’t want to mess it up even if they weren’t exactly following all of the proper tea rules. “That’s so rebellious of you, I like it,” he teased gently before he went for the lift and the toast. “To - enjoyment? Of tea, or whatever else we may find enjoyable.”
And to not being concerned about perfection, the shallow kind - the expectations he had been saddled with all of his life and was finally letting go of, like the mist around this very structure evaporating as if it were silken gauze. Cheers to that.