It is hard to walk a path when one feels one has failed, and messed up, so hard. But there is one thing you must understand. You must concentrate on becoming better yourself, on making right inside you what led to the problem. Only then can you truly offer penance to those you have wronged.
You have within you the potential to become a strong and smart woman. Whether you walk the hard path to becoming her is your choice.
If you wish to do so, truly, I believe you will find your path is not without find your path is not without guidance, nor without teachers and friends.