It was years ago. That's how life goes. You're young, so it's harder. Nothing's conditioned you for dealing with things like losing someone you love.
I have. I skip around a bit when I decide I don't like a particular crowd, but going reminds me there's something bigger than myself out there.
I don't want to say God planned for your loss to happen, or it was his will. Anyone who tells you shit like that is a jerk. Bad things happen because the world is flawed. That's not God's fault or anyone's fault. It's just life. It sucks, then you die. When you die, maybe you go someplace nice. To me that just sounds better than life sucks, then you die, end of story.
The most important thing to remember is God is love, and he will forgive you if you lose your faith for a little bit. Even if you decide it's not for you, I bet he'll even forgive that. I don't think a perfect being who made us could ever be mad at us forever if we make sure we're decent people along the way.